AllisonHanging up the phone with James, I couldn't stop the anger coursing through me. For him to honestly think he could just speak to me however he wanted to was beyond insane. I was, once upon a time, the only woman he loved, and since the moment that little whore Becca stepped into our lives, I had completely lost control of him.Pacing around my living room, I took in the fading decor and the unfortunate end to the lavish lifestyle I had once lived. I had lost so much over the past few years and all because James didn't understand the needs I had.He had been gone all the time traveling overseas, and with the many photos I constantly had seen of him with other women, it was hard for me to believe he wasn't cheating on me. So, in a moment of weakness, I had slept with somebody else. It wasn't anything serious. It was a one time thing, and yet, James never forgave me for what I had done.Even though I had forgiven him so many times over the transgressions against me he h
BeccaA few days had passed, and the conversation between James and I hadn't been as much as I would have liked. In fact, he had been more busy than usual, and I didn't know what to do with myself.Every day was just like the last. I got up. I did my morning workout. I walked down to the cafe and got breakfast and coffee and then went to class. I would go through the day as if nothing in the world was wrong with me, and by the time I got done with classes, I would head back to my apartment to eat dinner and do homework.Whoever said that life as a student in college was exciting was sadly mistaken. My life was full of nothing but getting my work done, passing my classes, and surviving to the weekend.Then, usually on the weekends, I was way too exhausted and tired to even want to do anything. Not to mention I was not the kind of girl that enjoyed going out partying. I was the kind of girl who would rather stay home with a good book, a movie and a friend, and some pizza.
BeccaThe next morning, I awoke with a little pep in my step. It was Saturday, and I was excited. That was because it was the one day I didn't have to worry about school or studying, even though I probably should have been. It was the beginning of a weekend I was going to absolutely adore.Throwing on my tennis shoes, I grabbed my purse and headed out of my apartment, ready to start the day of nothing but fun and excitement. First up was the grocery store, and then I was on to find a little bit of odds and ends to decorate up the spare room, just in case Neal wanted to stay. There was no way I was going to let him drive home after he had been drinking, or across town for that matter.Making my way towards my car, I climbed in and put it in drive, heading across town towards the local grocery store. Not even five minutes out from my destination, however, my phone lit up, and James's name crossed the screen.Of course, he's calling. "Good morning," I said with very littl
JamesAs soon as Becca hung up the phone, I felt nothing but guilt and remorse over the way I had acted. This is a girl who had been nothing but good to me and time and time again, I did nothing but become a complete d*ck to her.She had never given me a reason to question her or doubt I could trust her. Instead, she had done everything right, and all she wanted was a chance to prove herself to me. And yet, I was the one who was constantly feeling as if I was unsure of the situation.Staring out the window of my office, I looked across the green grass leading to the small railing overlooking the ocean. I was a complete mess, and the fury of worry flowing through my veins had done nothing but hinder my ability to think straight.I was being unfair to her, but I wanted to protect her. Once upon a time, I lived a life of criminalized activity. I'd messed with the wrong people; I'd made shady deals, and I'd cut corners. Through everything, I ended up pissing off the wrong people
BeccaAfter the conversation with James, I pushed my feelings aside and continued my tasks for the day. I ended up having to go up to the school to drop off a last-minute paper to one of my teachers before I was supposed to meet up with Neal.Through the week, things had been utterly strange considering everything that had happened, and the last thing I wanted to do was draw more attention to myself.As soon as I had finished grocery shopping, I drove straight to the school and quickly took the paper from my bag and made my way inside in order to drop it off. Usually, on days like today, my professor wasn't in the office. But considering he had a lot of grading to do, he had made an exception for me.Without wasting time, I scurried inside and straight to my professor's office. His smile was cheerful that I had made it on time, considering the noon deadline."Thank you, Miss Woods. I appreciate you being able to stick to our agreement.""It's not a problem, Professor. I'
After a few hours of trying to make the perfect pizza, Neal and I sat upon the sofa laughing over the movie we were watching. He was only about a foot away from me, and even though two different blankets separated us, I still felt closer to him than I had to James in a while.More than once over the last few days, I had wondered if I had decided wrong when I gave James another chance. James was the man I loved and, more than anything, he was the man I wanted to be with. But I questioned whether I was making the right choice because James's life was complicated, and Neal was just so much more. He cared about me and was there for me when James wasn't.James's words rattled through my mind as I thought about what he had said about Neal. Neal had told him he cared about me, but he never said he loved me. Yet, no matter what I thought, I knew I was still curious."Neal, can I ask you something?"Without missing a beat, he looked at me with a Cheshire grin and nodded. "You never h
BeccaWaking up the next morning, I couldn't stop thinking about how the tension between Neal and I was so high. Last night, he made me feel in a way I hadn't felt in a long time. I felt wanted and desired, and even though I was with James, I couldn't help but contemplate what a relationship with Neal would be like.It was wrong of me, and I was so terribly wrong for even considering things like that.The guilt weighed heavy on me, and I knew for a fact last night when I dressed my door was cracked, and I heard Neal's door shut, so I knew he had seen me, yet he said nothing.Did that make me a whore for being in that kind of situation?Did that make me a worse person because I allowed something like that to happen, knowing full well I wasn't single? God, everything happening to me was turning me more and more into somebody like Tally, somebody who couldn't be trusted, and it was horrible.Standing in the kitchen in front of the coffee pot, I waited for the dark brew to f
Two days later, I fell back into a normal routine. The last thing I wanted was to sit around and preoccupy my mind with things I couldn't change. Instead, I had to focus on school and all the different exams coming up soon.Like a paper I had to write for one of my classes that was literally almost a mile long.To say I had a complicated situation would be an understatement. However, the coffee was finer at the cafe down the street from my home, and what better way to study for the long exam than to surround myself with a comforting atmosphere?I embraced the coziness with coffee, a muffin, and warm inviting aromas of the local cafe.For someone in my situation—alone–this was the perfect place for me to be. I was glad for the atmosphere, and tapping on my keyboard, I searched for the answer I needed.At least that was what I was trying to tell myself.Part of me wished it was a glass of whiskey I was drinking right now, considering how stressed I was. While the other part o