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CHAPTER : 10
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2024-10-29 19:42:56I looked in front of me and stared into the eyes of a stranger. Her brown eyes with a perfect eyeliner stared at me. Her raven hair cascading in waves framed her face in a perfectly beautiful way. Her dress which was quite short against her liking touched her thighs in neat pleats. Her chest looked more fuller in the heart-shaped neckline, and she was wearing the one thing she never used to wear. Heels. Her makeup is minimal to avoid looking too desperate.
As I looked at the mirror, I couldn't believe it was my reflection staring back at me. I never thought I could look pretty like other girls. I never even tried to look pretty to avoid unnecessary attention and even though I was looking pretty right now, I was not happy with the change.
I've always been a closed book, hiding in sweatshirts and converses, but today it seemed like I was more vulnerable and bare than ever.
I didn't even want to go to that party, but Liza would kill me if I ditched her. So I gra
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Green was everywhere,Green every time.Green was hypnotizing me,Green pulling me towards it, like darkness towards light.Green was close to meAndGreen was staring at me. Sheisgoingtodie. ***** Endless pain. That's what I felt when I opened my eyes. Someone was beating a hammer on my head. I held my head in between my hands, trying to clutch it away from the severe pain. I sat up and leaned on the headboard of the bed, trying to find some support. Needless to say, I was having my first hangover, and it was not thrilling at all. I tried to see where I was, and it relieved me to see that I was in my room. Let me rephrase it. In my messy room. It seems like a war cut loose in my room which ended up with casualties such as a broken vase, a toppled chair, books on the desk somehow scattered on the floor, and my clothes from last night including my bra and underwear. Wait, what am I wearing now?
Submission CHAPTER : 12
The bell rang indicating the end of the sixth period and the beginning of the seventh period also known as hell or PE. I dragged myself towards the changing room with a heavy heart, while others were relieved to get some time out of the boring theoretical classes. While changing, I saw the marks again and shuddered at the thought of someone having fun with me while I was unconscious. The fact that I did not even know who the guy was scared me most.I had to take special precautions while choosing my dress, and a turtleneck sweater with skinny jeans and boots provided just the protection I needed. The PE uniform was a little tricky, so I bought a sweatshirt and leggings with me. The coach did not like my disobedience, but it was freezing outside, so I had the perfect alibi. "Come on, you lazy hooligans! I want everyone in the field. Start running ten laps, and whoever is the last one to complete will have to do five more!" Mr. Stone shouted at us with his rough and
Submission CHAPTER : 13
The streaks of mossy greens caged in his eyes stared at me with an unfamiliar emotion that I could not decipher. He got up from his chair and came to the front of his desk to lean on it. His fingers of the right hand clenched the end of the desk and made eerie drumming sounds which made me shudder. His face was stoic, with no emotion on display, and his hair as brown and as perfect as ever framed his face in an oddly unique way that intimidated me. A loud thunder roared in the distance, welcoming the rain with it. Drops of rainwater splashed on the windowpane and small, yet recognizable pieces of snow stuck to it, making a beautiful canvas. The room had turned colder and there was pin-drop silence. I sat on the bench near the piano and slowly glided my fingers on the top of it. I did not know what to play, but the atmosphere controlled me and I started softly, playing a tune I have never heard. I realized I was playing an original song. Myfirst
Submission CHAPTER : 14
Her red sad eyes held such emotions which I thought would never haunt her. I thought that only I was the one carrying the burden of a heavy heart, but I was always oblivious to how Liza's eyes would turn wet whenever she saw a small girl holding her mother's hand, whenever she saw a small girl learning to ride a cycle while her father supported her from behind, whenever she saw a brother standing up for his sister, all those times when it used to rain, and she would stare outside the window towards oblivion. Iwasoblivious. She looked at me with those baby blue eyes of her, which looked as innocent as a newborn baby. Tinted with red, they expressed their sorrow and sadness to me for the first time. This Liza was new to me. This Liza was scaring me. I was afraid, afraid that she might utter words which I don't want to hear, afraid that she won't tell me what was bothering her, afraid that she will push me away like I used to do to my parents
Submission CHAPTER : 15
It was Liza who always woke me up, but today my sleepless eyes stayed awake. Liza was sleeping beside me, cocooned in the covers. Her blond hair slightly falling across her forehead, covering her puffy eyes. I softly skimmed my hand on her head and kissed her on the cheek. The events which transpired left me exhausted. I was tired but still, I could not close my eyes. It was quite a shock to me when Liza told me about her past. Considering the fact that we never dug deep into each other's past, it was really something. Liza still does not know about my past, and it would have been cruel of me if I tried to take away her pain by burdening my pain on her. Moreover, I never want her crying for me. I never want anyone to cry for me. A little piece of sympathy can never heal anything. It's strange how both of our pasts are totally different from each other. It is an exact alternative. Theysaynegativepolesattracteachother
Submission CHAPTER : 16
The class was absolutely quiet when Mr. Dimitri entered the classagain. His hair perfectly set along with his shirt which was now tucked in with the sleeves buttoned up. Not a single crimp on the beige shirt that he seemed to have changed into. Shoes shinning, like a mirror, and a mild earthy scent of perfume for men that you could hardly pick up unless you were aware of it already. It seemed to me that the events from ten minutes ago were just a hallucination. His eyes flickered to me once, before he started handing out sheets to some specific students in the class, including me. He tried to meet my eyes, but I was too determined to pick at the small tear of skin at the corner of my thumb. It hurt slightly, yet the pain did very little to mask the feel of a set of green eyes digging into me. I scrutinized the piece of paper with neatly printed blocks of letters and found out that it was a form to enter a competition. Specifically, a competition held by our col
Submission CHAPTER : 17
The drive back home seemed longer and more lonely than ever. The car was silent, and even Liza was not in the mood for small talk. I was in an emotional whirlwind, having a hard time understanding what exactly I should feel. Happy because I was going to perform, sad because I did not know what to do about Mr. Dimitri, scared because I feared this new side of my teacher, confused with why he did such a thing and lastly betrayal because I couldn't find words to express anything to Liza. I sneaked a peek towards Liza and found her deep in thought. As if she was contemplating something. I decided that I should at least tell her that... "Hey Liza, um today in music class something happened..." "Yeah? What happened now? Did the hot teacher kiss you?" She smiled a little while her eyes were still on the road. I was quite bewildered by her statement, and she noticed it. The silence was awkward, but I would prefer silence rather than sharing the embarr
Submission CHAPTER : 18
I had never thought that such a day would come in my life when I would feel dreadful to attend the music class. It was what I used to look forward to after the droning lecturers and monotonous classes. But events from yesterday were still fresh in my mind, and I was still scared to face my teacher who was anything but normal. The hallway was completely quiet with all the students in their respective classes, while I still struggled to get into mine. The urge to flee was immense and I would have done that as well if only I wouldn't have to face the consequences that came after. Somehow I built up the courage to twist the doorknob and enter the room. I released a sigh of relief when I saw that Mr. Dimitri was not in the class yet while some of the students were sitting, chatting, and waiting for their teacher while the rest of the seats remain
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I am struggling.Sometimes I feel things that are not possible to exist or feel, see things that are not there, hear words that have not been spoken. These hallucinations, these mind riveting moments, make me further believe that something is truly wrong. I am being pushed into an empty space of a puzzle that I just don’t fit into. I am the wrong piece of the picture.This feeling goes on for several days. The interval between the episodes are almost non existent, blended into time by a stubborn finger, tainted in all dark. Perhaps, only when I am asleep, do I feel some kind of peace and solace from this painful heaviness that is wound around my head like a tight band. At times, it worsens as it transforms into an itch inside my head that I can’t reach to satiate.I wonder if my brother felt it too. Or my father and mother. Did all of them feel this way or was it just me that was cursed with such a mind that made living so much harder than it was sup
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The club was fully packed. It hasn’t been this crowded in a couple of weeks and even though I am practically still new here, I knew enough to know that it was not normal for the regular customers to suddenly stop coming here. Oh well, none of my business. I was the waitress here with a minimal wage pay and place to sleep which was plenty for me to survive at the moment. And with the scavenged food from the bar and ‘kitchen’ there were nights when I didn’t need to buy any food at all. Maybe one day I would be able to save enough to get out of here as well and get a place of my own. All of it sounded like a ridiculous fantasy in this dark corner of the club, drowned in the booming music and the foggy smoke air as the men and women danced to the music on the dance floor. Some lost too much in the mood to forget that they could be seen while some just straight out started making out with each other, ignoring the random pushes and thrashing as the tight crowd grooved to t
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We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality.- Iris Murdoch 13 November, 3:25 am I entered the room and the first thing I saw was red. Red on the carpet, floor, red on the bedsheet and red on the lifeless body lying on the bed. My legs couldn’t hold me up any longer and I collapsed. There on the bed was my friend, my sister, my only spark of hope in this dark world, Liza. This must be a dream…no, this can’t be real. Her wide eyes that stared at the ceiling held sadness, the same familiar look I always saw in my reflection but never so still. Her lips were parted like she was trying to tell me something so desperately but her lifeless heavy body wasn’t responding to her pleas to move. Was she calling for me from the other side? Wake up, wake up. This is just a nightmare. It has to be. Somehow I crawled towards her to her hand through the blinding dizziness
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"You are weak, weak and pathetic." She didn't lift her face, hiding behind the curtain of hair. It was her only shield, one so feeble and fragile but perhaps hiding her emotions was of more priority. "You are such a shame and disgrace to our family. Have you ever thought about us? How could you when you are too busy being selfish." Yes indeed, it hurt and the heaviness was too much on these weak shoulders that they couldn't help but crumble down. The urge to call someone for help clenched her heart, but she knew no one in this house would do so. For a seven-year-old, she felt like she was very dumb since she didn't know what she did wrong to earn this punishment. It has been four years now, and she still doesn't know. She was used to the pain that she felt in her bones and muscles. It was a daily routine now. As soon as the hands of the clock paused at eight in the evening every day, she tried to brace herself for what was about to come but it never helped.
Submission EPILOGUE
Do you know how it feels to be scared every second of time? Too scared to even breathe; afraid that the very breath might cause something unpleasant. Something you don't want to find out. From going outside of the house to living in. It's hard to find a way to lead the life you have had for so long. Even the slightest heave of your chest is protested by the body. So much that you have to stop breathing for a second and those seconds turn into minutes after which the fear really cripples you and strips you bare out in the cold. It's unstoppable and trying is inane. I wasn't tied up or handcuff like all those cliché kidnapping stories. Instead, I had all the freedom that I could exercise in that shotgun seat. I believe that if I tried to escape then I could simply unlock the door and run anywhere away from him but the fact that he would let me go, didn't sit well with me. Nothing actually happens as expected when you are faced with critical situations such as t
Submission CHAPTER : 40
Everything was frozen.Time, place, and memories. Even I was one of the victims to such a cold and immobile state, but he was not. I never thought that a simple curve of lips could be so mentally lethal and yet as always I was proved wrong. The huge melody of defeat orchestrated in the still air as he kept on looking at me with his eyes, as green as the demon he himself was. He was waiting for me to make some move, to run or scream at him but only one word made its way out of my lips.
Submission CHAPTER : 39
The ragged and torn curtain swayed a little from the soft whisper of cold wind that caressed the broken nook and corners of the ruins of a home it once was. It's just bricks and walls now. Nothing left but the ghost of a reminder accompanied by the shreds and tears of scars. I never thought that the dead monsters of my past will return in such manner and leave me hanging off the edge. I didn't know what to feel, I didn't want to feel. Shock? Life has given me enough experience to deal with that I don't feel surprised any more. I think you get used to it and its tortures. A time comes after that when you feel nothing but the cold and lonely chill of numbness. Betrayed? Yes maybe I should be feeling betrayed by Liza but I can't blame her either because it's all my fault. Liza had this envelope with her when she left. She told me everything will be fine and when she'll return we will have one of our food parties again but this time she said she will cook. I didn't understand wh
Submission CHAPTER : 38
Have you ever seen yourself in the mirror? From an angle, you have never seen before. The angle which you can't see normally. And wondered... That's me. That's also me. But I don't look like that. That's how I feel. That's how my situation feels. I guess I should not be surprised after all. I am bound to this house, my past, by a red circle and no matter how much I try, I'll be dragged into this red circle again and again even if I run far away. I don't like calling this place home any more because it never was. Home is not the place where you live with your family or friends or relatives. Home is where your heart is and my heart was smashed to clouds of dust in this very place. I don't exactly loathe this place but neither do I want to be here. Undecided and lost, I went towards the kitchen to find nothing but memories. My footsteps were a little too loud for my ears in this piercing silen
Submission CHAPTER : 37
"Lizzie! Lizzie where are you?" The adrenaline coursing through my veins was making me more hysteric than usual. I wanted to find her. I needed to find her. The drawers in the kitchen were haphazardly opened and I took the chance to pick out the sharpest knife I could find. "Lizzie! Where are you? I know you are here. Come on out." My cautious footsteps made the wooden floorboard creak painfully as my eyes darted from one side to the other. Trying to catch any movement. I went to the living room only to find the burnt ashes in the fireplace and an ignored mug of coffee which has been left cold and untouched for what seems like a long time. I stroked the curtain away from the window and tried to look for any signs of life outside but the slowly drifting snow falling on the heaps of unkempt bushes was the only movement visible in the full moon night. The house was awfully quiet and the tension around was so intense that I was unable to f
