5. You disgusting gay !

He suddenly places his both hands on the locker door and I unintentionally shiver. He moves a step forward, caging me inside his veiny arms with my back pressed tightly against the locker. He is standing at an inch's distance from me.

He stares at me with those beautiful brown orbs. But those familiar dark brown eyes that I loved so much are cold and hard. “Why were you staring at me?” he asks in a husky voice.

I feel like his voice also sounds similar to Alex's. I feel dazed all of a sudden. I open my mouth to say something but no sounds are coming out of my mouth.

I shiver and flinch as he takes one hand from the locker door only to hit it hard against the metal door, making a loud ‘cling’. “Why were you staring at me?” he growls again near my ear, sending shivers down my body.

“I-I...I am s..sorry,” I somehow manage to stammer.

The girl beside him suddenly laughs out loud. “Damn! he is a nerd. Look at him shivering and stammering like a kitten,” she laughs clutching her stomach.

Then she suddenly stops laughing and glares at me. “Nerdy bitch, didn't you hear him? Why were you staring at him?” she asks. And I realize I already messed up with the wrong people.

I can't utter a word because of fear and nervousness. Looking at the pair of brown eyes in front of me doesn’t help me a bit.

Memories fly back to my mind, hitting me hard, almost knocking me down. I want to hug the person standing in front of me. Shall I do it? No, I can't. He isn't Alex. He is someone, a stranger, a bully.

The guy stares deep into my eyes with no emotions which make me think about Alex's lifeless bloody body, I saw at the hospital that day, three years back, his eyes were wide open but lifeless and had no emotions. I remember the 15 year old me, crying out loud, hugging Alex's lifeless body, asking him to wake up.

Tears pool inside my eyes as I stare back at the guy's eyes.

“Oh! He is already crying?” the guy on his right laughs. “What a terrible loser!”

“C'mon Ethan, teach him a nice lesson that he won't stare at you again,” the girl barks impatiently.

“I am..s..sorry,” I manage to say and break the eye contact, looking down at the floor. “I-I won't look at you a..again,” I mumble at the verge of tears.

Not that I am like this every time someone bullies me. But the person standing in front of me looks like my dead brother and my endless sea of memories with him is haunting me right now.

“Yeah..you disgusting gay! You won't look at him again. C'mon, teach him a lesson, Ethan,” the other boy scoffs.

I'm..not g..gay,” I say. I am not gay. I can't be called gay. I already have a lot of nicknames like 'nerd' and 'stutter boy'. I can't take 'gay' too.

Ethan grabs my chin, harshly, making me look up at him again. “Then why were you staring at me?” he asks. I don't reply. I grow more and more nervous with each passing second.

“Why you stared at him even after I glared at you? You were staring at him the whole hour,” the girl scoffs looking at me with disgusted eyes. “Ethan! Why the hell aren't you doing anything to this scrawny gay nerd?”

“Ethan, why don't you give him a little kiss and see whether he is gay or not? I bet he would kiss you back hungrily,” the other guy says. My mouth drop open in shock. This can't happen.

“Shut up Kevin!” the girl growls. “Ethan isn't kissing him.”

Ethan makes his grip harsher on my jaw. “p..please l..leave me. I won't... l won't look at you a..again,” I say and a harsh slap falls on my left cheek causing my mouth to hang open and my hand to reach up involuntarily, palming my cheek.

A tear slithers out of the corner of my eyes and falls onto the tile floor beneath us, as I look at his brown orbs. Alex would never slap me. He would never hurt me.

I look down and squeeze my eyes shut while biting down on my bottom lip to control my sobs. I shouldn’t be crying. I can’t cry.

But more and more tears run down my cheeks. All I can think about is Alex. How he used to protect me from all those bullies.

 I don't know how to handle the situation. I don't know what they are going to do to me. I don't know how to escape. My whole body is numb.

“Scared like a little kitten?” Ethan chuckles, grabbing my chin again, with his forefinger, this time gently. But I don't open my eyes. I don't want to see that face again after he slapped me.

“That wasn't enough. Give him some more,” I hear the girl say whilst laughing. My heart thuds faster. I feel like I am about to collapse.

“That’s enough Amelia. He didn't know about us,” Ethan says. “I think he is new here. Aren't you?” I nod my head vigorously, not wanting to get beaten up, still my eyes tightly closed.

“But...” Amelia protests.

“Shh..I will deal with this,” Ethan says. “Open your eyes,” he commands making me flinch. I slowly open my eyes and look at him again. “What's your name?” he asks.

I open my mouth. “M..Mi.,” I start but I can't say my name. Again tears flow freely and helplessly down my cheeks. I can't even say my name. What a pathetic loser am I! My breathing becomes heavy and I sob not able to utter my name. Ethan looks at me confused.

“What Mi..Mi?” Kevin scoffs.

“Mi..mi.,” I again try but only air comes out after 'Mi'. At last I decide to try 'Nate'. I take a deep breath while Ethan still looks confused at me. “N..Nate,” I manage to say.

“Nate? Then why you first said Mi..Mi?” Amelia furrows her eyebrows.

“Leave it guys. Maybe he got a bit scared that he forgot his name,” Ethan says looking back at Amelia who laughs hysterically in reply.

“Okay, you won't look at me again, right?” he asks looking back at me and moving a step backward taking his hands from the locker door. I quickly nod my head. “Okay leave,” he says. I start to move but the other guy blocks me

“Hey..are you letting him go like that?” he asks Ethan.

“Just leave him, Kevin. I am hungry. Let's go and have lunch,” Ethan says heaving a sigh.

“Hmm..okay,” Kevin nods. “Don't think you escaped. We will catch you later,” he glares at me. I run away from them as soon as he takes away his hands.