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My baby. I didn’t see it coming. Fuck! I wasn’t even sure if I was ready to be a father at any point in my life but when I was told that the baby died, it felt like I lost a part of me. A part of me that I didn’t even get to know. I think of a small me all the time with hazel eyes like Claire's if it turned out to be a girl or blue eyes like mine if it was boy. Whatever it is the baby could have looked like, it pained me so much that I lost it that way. It felt like I failed as a father and as a man to Claire. But most importantly, it felt like I lost a connection and bond with Claire.

If I went crazy after hearing about the baby, Claire went ballistic.

So much that the doctors and nurses couldn’t control her. It hurt to see her hurt so much every passing day of the past month. Claire was the shadow of herself all through that month. Whenever anyone visited, she would just stare into empty space and not talk to anyone. I heard her cry a few times when I’m about to open the door to he