I glance around Bellamy’s office.
“Do you have more work to do today or are you free now?” I ask. Bellamy grimaces, pulling a hand through his hair.“I have a bit more to do. I definitely haven’t been as focussed today as I would like.” He admits.“Eh, that’s fair. Why don’t you try and finish up and then we can make something easy for dinner?” I suggest.“Will you stay while I work?” Bellamy asks hopefully and I agree.“Sure, why not?” I plop myself down in my recliner and lay it back as far as it goes. I then start watching random videos on my phone. After a minute or so though I find myself in the notes app writing down ideas, pros and cons about the Alpha female role. I might not be ready yet, but I can work on getting ready.Bellamy finishes his work pretty fast and then we make cold meat sandwiches for dinner, neither of us feeling up to doing anything complicated. Megan eats out. I didn’t even realise she was going out but she must have left at tI jolt awake. I sit up, confused and disoriented. I’m sweating with my heart racing. Why do I feel like I just ran a marathon? I look around for Bellamy but the bed is empty. I probably slept late again. I was pretty tired. Actually, I still feel tired. I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths to steady my heart rate a little. As I do this, I remember flickers of a dream. A nightmare? I don’t know what it was about, but when I try to remember I think of a little girl. She looks really small, probably younger than Logan. He’s eleven so maybe eight or nine? The dream girl had shoulder length, white-blonde hair and pale eyes, maybe even as light as mine. But what really sticks out is that she was crying. I don’t know why, I can’t remember anything else. I don’t usually have nightmares like this. It’s strange, a girl crying is sad, but somehow it’s hitting me really hard, it was terrifying, or maybe she was terrified? What a strange dream. Ugh, where is Bellamy? I kind of don’t want
“Your leave? I know. You have two weeks of leave saved up and a few sick days. We don’t usually let people take annual leave without notice though… which is why I applied for your leave three weeks ago. It starts today by the way.” She says cheerfully. “You are an angel Amber. I swear you keep the whole place running.” I compliment her. I can practically feel her delight through the phone. I remember she complained to me once that people are always mad when she doesn’t predict something and they get caught by surprise, but don’t appreciate it when she does. So since then, I’ve been making more of an effort to acknowledge her special contributions at work. “I know.” She says proudly. She pauses a moment before asking.“Ryann, is everything okay with you? I haven’t seen much, I only really can see the parts of your life that directly affect me, so basically your work related stuff. But you’ve been a bit off lately. You had that time when you were all depressed, then you
I pull away from Bellamy and stare. He wants me to stay… like forever stay? That’s why he’s so anxious for me to settle in more? Well… I don’t know how to answer that. I like my home, and having Maggie for a neighbour, seeing Logan regularly and being able to walk to work. I couldn’t do that from here. Although I know that Bellamy is also hoping I’ll accept being his mate completely at which point I really can’t imagine I’d be able to keep my job and still fulfil all the new responsibilities that would be expected of me. Not sure how I feel about that either. I mean it’s not like I’ve ever wanted to be a waitress together. But it’s my job. I applied, interviewed and got the job all on my own. Having a new job with new responsibilities when my only qualification is that I’m seeing the Alpha seems a bit like… cheating? Then again, isn’t dating someone like a really long interview anyway? Like Bellamy is interviewing for the job of his partner. It’s not like he hasn’t had other ‘applic
Bellamy’s steps down the hall distract me and I present him with dinner. It’s my turn to lean on the bench and eat while he and Megan take the two stools. “Maybe we should start eating at the dinner table where we all fit.” Megan comments. I shrug.“I like it here. I don’t mind it. But if we add anyone else to the dinner party we will definitely have to. Or eat in the living room like last time, although Darrien sat on the floor so the dinner table would probably be better.” I think aloud. Bellamy looks weirdly happy at this discussion. I know he doesn’t mind Darrien but I don’t think they’re especially close, why is he happy at the idea of him coming to dinner more? Maybe it’s for Megan’s sake. Megan and I hang out in her room after dinner. We play some choose your own adventure type video game and get our character killer horrifically (oops…) We also catch up with Harry in the group chat. COCK TALESMegan- Hey Harry, how goes your crush on the bartender?
“When did you learn all this?” I ask, baffled. Megan laughs.“It’s something my mum used to tell me as a kid. When we were little it was unclear if it would be me or Bellamy that came out as more dominant and became the Alpha. We are twins after all. It wasn’t until our teenage years that it became clear. So we were both taught as if we might end up in charge one day.” She pauses. “Honestly, I’m glad it’s not me. Bellamy likes running things, I don’t mind as much. Which is probably why things turned out this way.” I tilt my head in question.“You didn’t know as children?” I ask. She nods firmly.“Yeah, most Shifter children grow into their positions in the hierarchy. There’s a whole nature bs nurture debate, how much of it is genetic and how much depends on who raised them. Bellamy and I are dominant, but is it because we have Alpha parents or because we were RAISED by Alpha parents. It’s hard to say. Sometimes a shift in personality causes someone to become more or
I dream about the little girl again. How did I forget about her? It’s not the same dream although it is definitely the same girl. Her white-blonde shoulder length hair which was so tidy last time is unkempt and looks like it could use a good wash and brush. Her eyes are still rimmed in red, but she’s not crying anymore. She’s…. Staring. Her eyes are glazed over and looking off in space with a vacant expression. It’s somehow even worse than the tears. It’s almost like she’s not in there anymore. Like a little broken doll in flannel pyjamas. Her body is limp, sitting on the floor with her legs out to the side and shoulders drooping. The only proper sign of emotion that I can identify are the tight fists at her sides, squeezed so tight that her knuckles have turned white. I want to step towards her, pick her up off the floor, hold her, anything to return some life to her face, but I can’t. In this dream, I don’t seem to have a body or any kind of form. It’s like I’m stuck watching thro
My half of the closet has at least twice as much in it as it did yesterday morning. Which still isn’t that much since most of my things are at my place, but still. Did Bellamy put some of his stuff over here too? I sort through and nope. Every single additional item is in my size. Hoodies, a dress, a couple pairs of shorts. Each item is something I would have picked for myself. Each item is hanging there, perfectly new looking but with no tags. Bellamy must have gotten more than I thought when we went shopping. I didn’t see any of this stuff get purchased. My eyes narrow. How much did he spend? I have clothes already, I didn’t need new ones. Although some of the items DO look really comfortable. Inspiration strikes and I check the little bit that’s over by the dresser. Sure enough, there are a collection of tags that have been cut off the new items. I check the price of a few items but then I have to stop because I’m starting to feel nauseous. As someone who buys most of my clothes
When we finish eating, Aaron, Darrien and Bellamy clean up. Megan and I try to help but the guys refuse and insist that we sit and relax.“You cooked, we clean.” Bellamy insists. Well, far be it from me to argue if a handsome group of guys wants to clean up while we sit and chill. Still, by the time they finish, I’m getting antsy. I want to hear what Aaron found out. Megan and Darrien have no idea what the meeting is for so Bellamy gives them a quick explanation. They seem a little confused at my extreme interest, but neither of them question my desire to help, which I appreciate. It suddenly occurs to me that Aaron, AARON is going to give a report. A verbal report. He is going to TELL us what happened? That’s insane. Surely he will have to speak more than a single sentence now! My plans are ruined when he pulls out a neatly folded piece of paper from his jacket pocket and hands it to me. I smooth it out to find… he TYPED out his report. I whirl to face him. “You’re doing t