I wished I could look back at the way this began with fondness; maybe it would make the circumstances bearable, but waking in the bed of a stranger on the wrong side of town didn't lend itself to memories I wanted to cherish. But hell, neither did the day, that preceded the night, that changed my life.I hoped the more time I put between myself and that horrific twenty-four hours, the easier the pill would be to swallow, but distance and denial did nothing for me. The reality was, I had participated in a chain of events I shouldn't have been a part of, and fate would remind me for eighteen, long years of just how pivotal one wrong choice could be.As I waited through the unbearable pain of the previously mentioned consequences, I couldn't help but replay what brought me here. Every decision-good and bad-that had led me to this moment filtered through the ever-increasing agony I currently experienced.My alarm didn't wake me for whatever reason-I refused to admit that I hadn't set
"Carmella, I don't care what you have going on tomorrow. Tonight we're going out. I got fired today. I need my girls to console me," I whined into the phone and pleaded with my best friend to help take my mind off the fact that my car was at the body shop. My father had refused to replace it, insisting I get it fix instead, and I'd lost another job I hated but needed to keep my bank account open. My life was in shambles while my childhood bestie worried about getting up early for a facial. "Kate, it's Thursday. We can go out tomorrow night. The crowd at the clubs will be better anyhow." I visualized my friend sitting at her condo with her phone on her shoulder, filing her nails as she refused to give in to my Thursday-night escapade. At the end of her sentence, I was sure she'd blown on the tips to rid them of any dust the file might've left behind before she turned them toward her to ensure they were all even. "Fine. I'll call Kappy. She's always ready for a night out." I
The only thing worse than being caught having a threesome was the press publicizing it. My father had me on total lockdown after the charade at Scene Six. I hadn't made a public appearance in close to two months. I swear to God, I believed he had sabotaged every interview I went on to keep me from getting a job and reinstating my trust fund freedom. Only the necessities were paid, and he wasn't afraid to cut those off as well. The first couple weeks hadn't really bothered me. I was as embarrassed as my father when I saw the picture that I fucking posed for on the cover of the daily paper, and my friends wouldn't shut up about my debauchery. The image that dominated the front page the next morning was, in essence, soft porn. The straps of my dress had fallen from my shoulders almost wholly exposing my breasts, and any periodical reader could now tell you the shade of my left areola along with the color of my panties. To make matters worse, I'd been dancing, drinking, and sweating all
Dr. Hale Duek. OBGYN. I liked his online ad, and he was farther away from my side of town than any other doctor while still being in the same city. Hopefully, I wouldn't run into anyone I knew, and photographers would lose interest as I crossed the track into a less affluent part of the community. When I pulled up to the little mill-hill home that housed his practice, I started to regret not accepting my father's offers of help. He had insisted on the non-disclosure to protect my privacy, and his own, but he'd relented on the bullshit story about artificial insemination and agreed we simply would not answer any questions regarding the details of the pregnancy. Eventually, interest would die down, and something else would take the place of my promiscuity. If I played my cards right-kept quiet and wore concealing clothing-it would be months before anyone knew I was pregnant, and a couple months after the birth, no one would be interested, anyhow. I hadn't told Carmella or Kappy and
There was a reason I shouldn't be a parent. I sucked at responsibility, and it wasn't because I was an idiot; it was because I didn't care and people always cleaned up my messes. That card Dr. Duek gave me, the one I had promptly put in my purse, never made it back out. Meaning, I'd missed my appointment. The one he closed his entire office for. Still oblivious to my faux pas when a random number displayed itself on my caller ID, I answered with the exuberance of any other day. "Hello?""Kate?" The gruff voice sounded vaguely familiar, but I couldn't place it."Yes.""It's Hale."It took me a split second to recall who Hale was. "Hey, Hale. What's up?" For the life of me, I didn't remember giving him my number, but somehow, he had it and used it."Your appointment."Fuck. I left him to hang in silence as I dug through my purse looking for the card. I glanced at the chicken scratch on the back, noting today's date, and my watch indicated I was over an hour late. His vo
A week after my appointment, I got a series of text messages from a number I didn't know but promptly identified the sender upon reading them. HALE: IT'S WRONG. I KNOW IT IS, BUT I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU.HALE: PLEASE DISREGARD THAT LAST TEXTHALE: I DIDN'T MEAN TO SEND ITHALE: I MEAN, I DID, BUT I SHOULDN'T HAVE SENT IT TO YOU.HALE: DAMN IT. I MEAN, IF I HAD INTENDED TO HIT SEND-IT WAS WRITTEN FOR YOU. I SHOULDN'T HAVE SENT IT, BECAUSE IT WASN'T APPROPRIATE. HALE: AWW HELL. FUCK IT. AT THIS POINT, I COULD LOSE MY LICENSE, ANYHOW.I took note of the times and realized they spanned about two hours. I'd been at Carmella's house, who still didn't know I was pregnant. I'd left my phone in the car with the intention of coming clean-regarding the pregnancy, not Dr. Hottie-but had chickened out and left with my secret...both of them. At fourteen weeks, no one other than my father and Hale knew.I giggled to myself. Hale must've been freaked out, thinking he'd overst
Hale sent me a couple texts before my next appointment. I didn't respond with anything other than one-word answers. His contact was obligatory, not because he gave a shit, so there was no reason to bother. Each Tuesday at nine in the morning, I got a message that asked how I felt. Apparently, he'd set a reminder on his phone, and that irritated me more than his silence. He didn't owe me anything. I'd decided to tell Kappy and Carmella about the baby the night before my next appointment. At twenty weeks, this appointment would include another ultrasound, and if I wanted to know the sex of the baby, I could. I wanted one, or both, of my friends with me. I couldn't bear the thought of doing this alone anymore. It wouldn't go well, but I had hoped my two best friends would forgive my night of indiscretion and my secret. "You're not serious. Are you, Kate?" Carmella hissed at me with a nasty scowl. I chewed on the side of my bottom lip and nodded. I hoped Kappy would come to my res
After a nap, Hale insisted we go to his office for the checkup and ultrasound. I still hadn't decided if I wanted to know the gender, but he assured me he could keep it a secret. Then I decided, I didn't want him to know the gender if I didn't know it. "I think we should just skip the ultrasound if we're gonna go," I said as I twirled a piece of my hair on my finger. "Actually, let's not go and pretend like we did."He pulled me into his lap, forcing me to meet his stare. "Why don't you want to do the ultrasound?" I gave him a half-hearted shrug. "Just not up for it." My brows rose as I continued to educate him. "You're aware that women didn't have them done for centuries, right? It wasn't until recent years that they became the norm."I jumped when he poked me in the side, and a grin spread across my face. "Yes, I'm aware. They mentioned something like that in medical school." He watched my expression and quit playing games. "What's the real reason, Kate?""I'm scared. It