Condemned by the Wolf

Who attacked you?

His words burst like a cannonball in my brain. Something claws at my memories . . . Something I'm supposed to remember. 

A flash of fur. Yellow eyes that glow brightly. The stench of urine, not from fear but as an alpha marking his territory. 

My body starts to tremble, and my breathing increases. Images assault me, and I clutch the blankets, willing them to be a shield. 

Yellow eyes.

My fingers touch the bandages on my neck, and I recall Ethan's angry words to me. If it’s a fight you seek, a fight you shall have. You’re banished from the pack.

A growl from the corner of my vision. Claws that rake my skin. Fangs that bury in my neck, a dominant display of aggression. 

My heart races with the memories, and I squeeze my eyes shut, shivering violently.

Blood.

I remember now. A wolf. A big, dominant wolf, one who meant me harm. 

I open my eyes and stare at the man in front of me. The man who saved me. 

The man who is my enemy.

My breath catches, and I gasp, clutching the blankets even tighter until my fingers turn white.

"I don't remember," I whisper. 

He cocks his head to the side, a slight frown furrowing his brow. He studies me, his eyes narrow, and his fingers twitch slightly. "Really? Because you look like you remember." He lifts a hand, and I flinch. But he lowers it again. 

"If you don't remember, you could be in danger," he says. "He could come after you again."

He. He knows it was a male. 

I close my eyes and see an image of Ethan again. Ethan, who turned me away because of my defiance. Ethan, who I rejected time and again.

It can't be. It can't. We grew up together. We've always been friends. 

Except... I'm always getting in trouble. Always causing waves. Always making things harder.

He was fed up with me. Disappointed that I wasn't the woman he expected me to be.

He didn't look after me.

He would have let me die.

I feel the tears leaking from my eyes, my heart constricting with the new memory. 

"Are you all right?"

I flinch at the sound of his voice and open my eyes, startled. 

"You're shaking," he says.

His voice pulls me in. It's smooth, like velvet, slipping around me, coating me in warmth. His energy radiates out from him, and I can feel it, pulsing with every beat of his heart. A bond of energy. I can almost see it, thrumming in the air around us like a halo. 

I don't want to look at him, but I can't help myself. I lift my eyes to his beautiful dark ones, and I draw in a breath.

I’m breaking, and I don’t want him to see me break. Not my enemy. I clutch the blankets closer to me. "I left my pack," I whisper. I release the blankets. My bones ache, and my head hurts, and I feel like I want to die. “I’m a lone wolf. I have no one. No pack. No place.” My chest shakes, and I squeeze my eyes shut. 

I don't see him but I feel him move closer, his energy filling the room. I feel the heat from his hand as he reaches for me.

And then I open my eyes, and I can't ignore the hard look in his eyes.

This is a ruse. He's pretending to help me so he can turn me over to the slavers. 

I draw my knees to my chest, then yank the blanket over my head and shudder into my own embrace. "Stay away from me!" I shriek, my voice high pitched and tinted with hysteria. "Don't touch me!"

The air shifts around me. The silence is too loud, and I clench my teeth. 

"Fine," he says, and I wince at the terse tone. "I'll leave you alone for the night. Sleep well."

I peek out from under the blanket, and he's already a step away. He doesn't turn, but I get a glimpse of his hard expression. My vision blurs as I watch him walk away until he's just a mass of wavering flesh. He doesn't turn around. He moves through the doorway and vanishes, and I hear the door click shut behind him.

I'm alone.

I curl up on the bed, my tears soaking the pillow. My body convulses with the effort of staying quiet. My thoughts are a whirlwind, a chaotic mess of confusion. I don't know what I feel or what I want. 

I squeeze my eyes shut and force myself to sleep.

***

Kalen

I clench my fists before I reach the door, but it does little to stem the explosion of anger flooding my veins. My jaw tightens, and my shoulders creep up toward my ears. 

Damn her. Damn her for fighting me. Don't touch me! What does she think I’ll do to her?

By the moon's wrath! I'm trying to help her. And she won't open up to me.

I storm outside, the mist hovering over the ground a hazy sign of my emotions. The ancient forest looms above me, trees twisting on themselves like tortured souls. The leaves crackle against the wind, whispering secrets and rumors and taunting me.

You aren't strong enough. You aren't good enough. You can save nobody. You will lose all you love.

I let out a shuddering breath, trying to clear my head. The forest hears me. The Moon Goddess. She’s in this place. Her presence echoes in the air, and the trees respond. She knows me and loves me, but my actions are inexcusable, and she will withhold her love and protection until I find my way back.

But what is the right way? I don't know! And now I have a mortal enemy condemning me in my own house. 

I fall to my knees and stare at the sky as a wind swirls around me, tugging at my hair and clothes, creeping into my heart and cooling the anger there. Some of the resentment falls away, and I force my fists open, letting the dirt and pine needles rub against my palms. I breathe deeply of the cedar scent and let it ground me.

Moon Goddess. Show me the way.

In my mind's eye, I see the wolf. Her injuries are not superficial. Her attacker meant to kill her. He may come back to finish the job. She’s in danger. I must protect her. The Moon Goddess requires this of me.

My shoulders slump, and I cross my legs and stretch out my arms, palms down so I can feel the dirt and the earth beneath me, its energy calming me. Rejuvenating me.

No matter the cost, I must help her heal. If she hates me for it... then that's the price I must pay.

I steel my mind and open my eyes, narrowing them as if her attacker stood before me. I will find him. And I will exact revenge. I will protect her.

The wind chills me to my bones, but I don't move; I’m solid in my resolve. I listen to the voices in the leaves, their melodic rustling hiding truths known only to the Moon Goddess. And I know I am not alone.

Tomorrow, I will hide my frustrations. I will reject her rejection of me. I will show her love when she shows me hatred. I will join in her fight. I will heal her. And when we part ways... 

My chest aches as I think of sending her off, but I harden my heart against it. I must. I must stay away. I can’t get involved with her. 

I cannot condemn her to the curse. There has been enough death.