Chapter Six

“You need to buy a new car this car will not get you laid.”

I said, leaving with my bother. He didn’t even enter as he was afraid of starting a fight with my h…… or he was Joseph only. It felt strange not calling him my love or my husband.

“You will not believe how many women want to just ride both the car and the driver.”

Eeew, this is going to traumatize your little sister.”

He laughed at me. He was still not married, but he had two children with his baby mama who loved him dearly. I felt sorry for her as I knew she was a good person. I had ignored it for so long that I needed to voice my opinion.

“Sungani, you know one day that woman will be done with you and move on. You will be surprised when you are left to marry someone like Asante’s mother.”

“That will not happen she was not groomed like that.”

“Sometimes we tire of being second best. Take it from me. She is with you not because she is desperate but because she loves you and at some point that will be in the past. Do you think I didn’t love Joseph? Heck, I am still in love with him but love is not enough.”

The problem with men from our country was some were too relaxed and thought love was not worth fighting for. My brother was one of them who were the opposite of my father. Adada was a loving and caring man who knew my mother was worth fighting for. I would have fought for her too if I were a man.

“Please do not whisper that to her, as I do not want to lose her.”

“Then appreciate her and marry her. You have money and you have a steady life. Those women will never give you a stable home, but who am I to judge?”

“You are scaring me now.”

“Stop being a coward and stop fooling around you will get married when you are old and grey. I don’t mean to scare you but as much as you dislike what was done to me by Joseph and his family, so goes her family they will end up not approving. Remember flowers bloom for a certain time and season? So are the women. Our anatomy is too different from man's. We will wake up one day old and not worthy of anything and you will move on to a younger and fresh person. I bet if she goes on the market today someone will snatch her before the end of business hours.”

I could tell he was scared, but I was done allowing men to use women around them. If I got the chance, I was going to tell them all how bad it was to mislead us and leave us. I was not an advocate for women; I would not start a movement, though. I laughed at the thought.

My brother was quiet for a while and I knew he was digesting. There was no way those words could have entered the left ear to the right one without diverting. I would not stay longer in Lilongwe. I wanted to regroup and organise my life. It was on a Sunday so my discovery journey was going to start the following day. I was not even going to tell my father what I had planned for the following day. From then I was going to go home to the village. It was not a place we frequented, but from time to time when we needed some rest.

I was not going to my father’s place but to my mother’s maternal village, Kambaju Village in Mzimba. My father’s family neglected the home so even his livestock was with my uncle. The bride price cows, I believe were also there. At first, I thought my dad was mad to keep them separated and well-fed. I understood at that moment as they were going to return the cows. That was going to be the sign that our marriage never existed. I was not with the child so it was easy. It was going to be difficult if I had conceived as it was going to cause permanency in my life where Joseph would be in it for life. Some cows were going to be left for the child I bet.

I was surprised by my brother shaking me. My trail of thought had led me to dreamland. Poor Sungani, he had to drive by himself while I was daydreaming. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

He laughed at me. “You wanted me to die. You were busy laughing and smiling in your dream. I bet it was about a boy. I only hope that boy was not Joseph.”

I was so embarrassed, but I knew the moments he twitched his upper lip that he was pulling my leg. “You are so mean. Your car is so uncomfortable, so do not blame me.”

“One will never sleep in an uncomfortable car. I know this because I have been in worse cars.”

“You need to change your car, though. Are you working stones? If I were your lover, I would not enter that car.”

“Eew that is gross you will never be my love.”

“Figurative language, you moron.”

I pinched him as I walked into the house, leaving him alone to deal with my language. I was still laughing when I got into the house, thinking my parents were not home.

“You are so happy for someone who lost the love of her life and is about to move back home.”

I laughed at my mother hugging her, then my father after.

“Parents, how are you. How does it feel to have a returned soldier of a daughter?”

My dad was not happy with that comment but I knew it was because he wanted to say…..

“I told you so. If you had listened to me and not have married him you would be far in life?”

See before I even finished my line. Well, it was what it is, and he was going to deal with that. As for moving back home, it would not happen. I would not raise it then but I wanted to raise it once I got back from the village.

“I am back now, so do not stress. I know you told me so but if I didn’t try I was going to blame you for the rest of my life. This gave me a chance to fail that way I will blame no one as I tried my best to keep that marriage alive.”

“She is right; you did the right thing to trust her to make these decisions now you are happy and sure that even if we are gone, she can take care of herself without our help.”

“You are busy babying her when I am busy with the bags.” My brother was sulking.

“Do not be a crybaby. I will help you.” My father followed him outside.

“Come to the kitchen and help me cook.”

I was not even home for a minute and I was being dragged to the kitchen. See what was going to make me move out. I wouldn’t dare say that in their faces. I had to say it to myself. I helped her with the vegetables and dishes while she asked me questions.

“Are you happy, though?”

She had a concerned look on her face. “I am not sure how I feel for now. But the moment the car left there was a tremendous weight lifted from my shoulders and I sighed in relief as if I had been holding my breath for the duration of the marriage.”

I was being honest as I looked at her pitiful eyes. If I wasn’t honest with my family then who was I going to be honest with? My dad though, I was not sure how I was going to approach him. I was grateful I had a mother who always listened and judged not.

“Sometimes the roads travelled are tough, but a necessity. If we had shielded you, we would not get a strong woman.”

“I know but sometimes I feel like women are forced to endure. They are encouraged by society to stay even when the going gets tough. I wanted to leave for a while but I felt like I was going to be judged harshly. I feared for your reputation also as I knew that was going to come to you as irresponsible parents who couldn’t teach their child.”

“I know and already I heard a mouthful from your aunt who told me as a mother I was supposed to tell you that you belonged with your husband and he was supposed to get a housewife, not a working wife.”

We both laughed with my mother. We knew my aunt had an unhappy marriage, but she fixed her husband by going to a healer. Malawi was known for its potent medicine and healers. I was not doing it to get a puppet of a husband because I believed a woman should stay no matter what.

“She wants me to visit witches at my age? I will not do that to Joseph. As much as he hurt me, I still love him so I wish him well in life.”

“Do not let your father hear us talking about his beloved sister.”

We laughed and changed the topic swiftly. She was happy that I was going home. She wanted to send things to her brother. When I was about to finish cooking, a call came through and it was my dear friend.

“Mphatso, I was about to call you.”

“Do not lie to me, as we both know you arrived home a long time ago.”

We both laughed at least she wasn’t angry at me.

“I would not sleep before updating you. So which part do you need to hear first?”

I laughed at her when she said ‘everything’. I indicated to my mother that I was going to take the call in my room. She knew I was going to take longer, so I bet she was going to finish with the pots.

“I think that will be the best. You need to wake up early in the morning to do that. He is mad, he thinks which world are we living in when you get things and give them away to useless men.”

I laughed at her shouting as if she was the wronged party.

“I am going to be fine and I will never let them walk all over me. I wish them goodwill, though.”

“I wish them karma only.”

I even reprimanded her. “You don’t wish people bad things as they are also human. Remember my daughter still lives with them.”

“Alright for Asante I will take my words back and swallow them.”

I smiled as it warmed my heart that she cared so much about Asante. It was strange how we loved this child without reservations. To me, she was going to be my child no matter what. I had also wondered if I would ever carry my child one day.

“So tell me are we still on for that vacation we planned for couples?”

I laughed.

“Who am I going to go with? Let us cancel or make it the two of us. I do not want to tag and become a third wheel. I am fond of your husband, but not that fond so let us pass.”

“I will ask him to spare me then. If not, I guess we will have to plan ours.”

“You are damn right we need to bond.”

We laughed.

“Miko, food is ready.” My mother shouted from my bedroom door. I was lying on my bed while I was talking to my friend. It had been cleaned and painted with an extra coat. I loved the colour and the smell.

“I am coming, mother.” I was not shouting, but it was clear enough she heard.

“I need to go my love. You know I am a child back to being summoned anyhow.”

“As if you were not summoned as a wife from where you are coming from.” Sarcasm was written all over her voice I just laughed and said my goodbyes.

We were watching the news, so no eating far from each other. I wonder in a technologically advance world why he would be stuck to news and newspapers.

I gave my mother a death stare when I saw my aunt. She should have warned me. I softened as I looked at my aunt.

“Ankazi, muli uli? (Aunty, how are you)” I faked a smile.

“Nili makola, kwali Imwe? (I am good and you)”

“Makola.”

I concentrated on my food while they continued with their conversations. I knew it was not a social visit, so I was ready for her insults.

My brother had done back to his place as they informed me he had a piece job to take care of. I knew I was going to see him frequently even my sister who was a judge in Lilongwe. She was not a family person, as she had a fallout with my parents. She told them she was never getting married. My parents saw their mistakes and apologised but she was already a one-man-gang living her life.

She was anti-social, but very good at her job.

“Are you listening Mayamiko?”

I knew they had asked a question while I was busy in my world. I had to ask, as I didn’t hear a thing.

“Your aunt was talking to you.”

My mother said while my dad was looking uninterested in the conversation that was taking place.

“I didn’t hear I was listening to the news. What was the question?”

“Are you ready to go with us this weekend when we take you back to your in-laws because you are too young to leave the marriage and come and sit at home? No man will marry a woman who is coming from another homestead.”

What the…..