Chapter 11

I jumped upstairs to my room without having my dinner. My interest in food has vanished because I felt like my heart was crushed into pieces. I sat on the edge of my bed and reached for my phone to call Bella.

“Hello, Alle? What’s up bitch?” she answered cheerfully. I didn’t say a word, instead, I burst into a cry. “What happened?” she asked worriedly. 

“I can’t endure it anymore," my voice broke. "The hurt is eating me alive," I sniffed. "Hey, calm down," she comforted me. "Please, I need you right now," I sobbed non-stop. "Alright," she hushed for me to stop crying.

“Pack your things," she muttered. "I’ll book your ticket right away coz you’re coming here to New York,” her tone was serious and authoritative. When she noticed that I didn't respond, "Are you coming or you'll just cry?" she taunted. “Yes, I will," I replied wearily.

I rushed and pulled out my important stuff in the closet. Since I came into his house with just two pieces of luggage, it didn't take time to gather everything. I called Andrew to meet me at the airport in two hours and though he has a lot of questions, he opted to say yes immediately.  As soon as I dropped the call, I sighed and checked on my passport.

Seated in front of my vanity mirror, I looked at myself unhappy. I couldn't hold my tears to fall and it felt like something squeezed my heart. The pain, sorrow, and chaotic emotion were the culprit why I felt suffocated. I'm totally shattered.

I used to be protected and loved. I get all the attention I wanted. I didn't want to be neglected. But lately, being treated that way made me tired. I'm tired of being let down. I'm tired of being sad. It taught me that to endure hurt is a waste of time. I realized- that's not what I wanted.

I opened my drawer and picked up paper and pen. I wrote a letter and with a heavy heart, I left it on the table next to my bed. I believe it's the right thing to do- for myself and for those who were affected by my childish behavior.

In front of my luggage, I sighed. I composed myself, held my chin up, and thought, "Woman, this is best for everyone. Go on, try to find a new environment, take some time for yourself to realize and understand YOU. You are so young to dictate and make someone love you. Love can't be forced. Soon enough, someone out there will love you and treat you the same way you wanted to be treated. You have a long and beautiful future. Stay strong, embrace maturity, and move on beautifully, BITCH!"

I walked out of my room and carried my things downstairs. I found Mona tidying the kitchen and she was confused when she saw me with my luggage. Without a word, I hugged her and said my goodbyes. She never asked a question coz I know she had a hint on why I am leaving.  Instead, she wished me to be safe and be happy wherever I go and on whatever I do.

I booked a cab and in a few, it arrived in front of Chad's house. Mona helped me with my stuff in the compartment of the car and bid our final goodbyes.

At the entrance of the airport, I found Andrew waiting for me. I hugged him before I explained my plans. At first, he disagreed but after so much deliberation he finally allowed me to go. 

“Andrew please hand over this letter to Mom and Dad," he reached for it. "I wrote this to lessen their worries about me," he nodded. "Please help to explain further everything to them,” I pleaded. 

He offered me his card but I refused to accept it because I do have money saved from my allowances given by dad before. It could give me a comfortable living for around six months. I told him that if ever I need his help, I will definitely call him. But in my mind, I know Bella will not allow me to starve and certainly will take good care of me in New York.

“I’m going to miss you a lot," He hugged me tightly. "Call me anytime and be safe always,” he reminded me before I turned my back to proceed inside the airport.

I couldn't believe I'm leaving Chicago and don't know when I'm able to come back. I hope mom and dad will be okay, and I believe Andrew will be able to justify my reasons to them. I chose not to say goodbye personally because for sure, dad will never allow me with my decision. 

My heart pounded so hard against my chest when I thought about Chadrick. I believe I am saving him from the headache of my existence. I don't want him to feel obligated by my childish behavior.  I just wish him the happiness he deserves. 

The announcement inside the cabin started and I fastened my seatbelt right away. I leaned my head and closed my eyes to calm my emotions. "Stay strong, bitch!"

When I arrived in New York, Bella welcomed me excitedly but the worry was visible in her eyes.  She hugged me tightly for a minute and she drove us directly to her apartment. 

I'm thankful to God that aside from my family, he has given me Bella who's kind enough to love and understand me. I wondered what did I do right to deserve her as well. All I could remember were those selfish acts I had towards my parents and especially with Chadrick.

Inside her humble abode, she motioned for me to move to the kitchen because she prepared something for us to eat. "Your place is simply glamorous," I complimented. "Eat first," she placed a portion of lasagna on my plate and poured me a glass of blended juice. "Thank you," I smiled at her. I saw in her eyes that she has a lot of questions for me and I'm aware I have a lot of explaining to do.