Rebirth [Vol 1. Memories and Past Coincide]

My hands are holding my neck while I pant and breathe rapidly. What exactly is going on? I'm not sure. I ought to be dead, am I not? The moment the metal punctured my neck, I know I’m going to die. Why, though, do I feel alive? I'm breathing, why? I don't comprehend

I have enough time to look around me for a full minute. I'm in the woods. I have no idea why I'm here. Maybe it's because my soul is lost right now? I make an effort to gaze around while avoiding the jagged edges of the rocks buried in the wet ground. Even though my feet are hurting, there is no blood at the bottom of them when I stop and look. Weird.

I see a modest cabin as I am wandering about. I dash there in hopes that some gloomy reapers reside there. One of those eerie old men, you know, who would send a soul to its destination to heaven or hell from the earth. I should be sent to heaven because I've been decent lately, right?

But before I could finally approach the location, a strong breeze arrives and shakes my unkempt clothing and hair. I attempt to hide my face and close my eyes in case something unneeded occurs, but I abruptly understand that I had passed away. Given the sharp edges of the pebbles I've been stepping on earlier, no one should be at risk of injury.

I've already witnessed the reality, which is hard for me to accept, so I retry to walk away from the strong breeze only to discover a different perspective. Earlier, I’m in a dark forest where there is no sunshine, and it seems like there are no leaves on any of the trees. There is also a lot of fog, so much so that I'm not sure why I'm even here.

But that breeze, that hurricane-force wind, caused the landscape to shift. Even worse, the sun is already beaming, and the hard rocks my feet were previously stepping on have changed into rose gardens.

At that point, I just comprehend that the location I am currently in is once a flowery field. My soul may be wandering; therefore, this is feasible, right? Then again, why would my soul travel to locations I've never been to? I cross my arms and hold on to each other as just the concept made me shudder.

Even though the sun is out, I still felt cold for some reason. There isn't any time. Since I'm already dead, I should probably head in this direction. As a soul, I wouldn't lose anything in the process.

I shake my head as I continue to move, but something strange was creeping up under my belly. It is sentimental. A child walks past my body as I'm ready to touch the roses. My pupils widened.

What?

A young child? My body, passing through her? This location is undoubtedly a haven for the soul. What then?

I find myself shaking my head again, but curiosity has already compelled me to start following this little girl. She has a large bouquet in her hands. She's grinning. She is clothed like these old folks, whose descriptions I’m familiar with from history books. However, only stating that she is dressed in rural attire suffices.

Despite the clothes’ appearance, they are crinkled in numerous places, and some of the petals are leaning in the direction of the clothing. The child has brown hair that is similar to mine in that it is wavy. She has a hat on her head at the moment. Her hat falls on the flowery field when the strong air sweeps her, but the little girl didn't stop.

Every time I tried to pick up the hat when I got close to where it is lying, my hands would simply pass through it as if it isn’t there. Just a bit of air, like the hat. I ultimately quit after making so many attempts; what is the point? I recall that I am currently merely a soul, so why am I here? Why would I stray in this strange location that seemed like home to me?

"Mom, dad, I've got two flowers for you!” The young girl handed over the bouquet she had earlier been holding, saying, "I wanted to put my work into making some flowery necklace, but this is all I can accomplish." I thought I saw her holding a lot of flowers earlier. I make a self-promise that I just view the flowers, but how did it change into a necklace of flowers?

Strange, but the setting is even stranger. As soon as the child said those words, the scene changed from a summer field's vivid warmth to a modest wood-frame dwelling. This would, I suppose, be a cabin. So, this is where the little girl resides and where her parents are also present?

I stroll toward the child's location. Alongside her, there are two rocking chairs. I attempted to peek, but all I could see were her plush animals. And she addresses them as "mother" and "father"? I notice a teddy bear on her right side and another one on her left, but the latter animal toy is wearing a skirt.

Already, this is a terrifying prospect, and I'm starting to get shivers. Like the hair on my body starts to rise. When I’m ready to pass out, the front door opens, allowing a young man—no, it is two young boys—to enter the cabin.

At first, I believe that they are thieves who are about to kill the young child, so I move in front of them to protect the little girl. Right now, the boys are clad in dated, even ancient, clothing. It appears muddy underneath because it is raining outside right now.

But I falter a little bit when one of the boys removes his hood. The boy reminds me of someone I know well. Even when sporting worn-out, inexpensive attire, he still has fair skin, crimson hair, and bright golden eyes.

My eyes start to swell up. What is going on? She is already hugging the other young guy when I try to turn to face the little girl.

I felt as though time had frozen as I attempt to glance at the other. Currently, the young man is grinning at the little child. However, he had red eyes and beautiful blonde hair. Who is he?

But why am I drawn to him is an even stranger query. My right hand is left in midair trying to grab the person as soon as I realize what is happening, and my other hand went to my chest, where my heart is located. Right now, it seems like it's tearing me apart as it beats brutally. Why?

The situation changes once more, and this time I can only see my hands and my body because the area around me is dark. However, even before my hand had been inches from wanting to stroke and feel that golden blonde hair all over my hands and touch it, it never happened.

I can see the darkness, yet I can still move. I close my eyes and my body begins to shiver. I remain there for a full minute, looking at some corners of the dark place like a paralyzed patient. Then, though, I understand that if I carry on as I had been, my soul would not be able to get to my last destination.

I attempt to walk once more, but my severe headache is preventing me from doing so. My head is now hurting, as well as my heart, which earlier still hurt like it had been stabbed by an arrow. Other than staring, walking, and breathing, I’m unable to identify my location or what I had been doing up until this moment. According to the books I've read, I have no idea why I'm still in this location or dimension. Since some of those books have queries about afterlife doors.

But this time, it's more odd. Earlier, I'm once again moving through a pitch-black area, but this time I'm moving through wet ground. I feel like I'm producing a ripple with every step I take, but there is absolutely no sound.

If I’m a weak woman, I would have gone nuts sooner. But because of my - admittedly not very pleasant - experiences, am I now surviving my way to paradise, or is that the best course for my soul? I feel like I'm marching into hell when I look at this darkness, don't you?

The time is not now to...

I’m deep in concentration when my sight catches sight of something. If I didn't know what it was, would I still refer to that as a thing? My eyes suddenly expand as I get closer to where it is, so perhaps my vision is fading a bit. This table, an ancient table from the shadows of the area, is nearby after I catch sight of it.

When I examine what it contains, I see a table map that appears to have been knitted. There are certain words written on them that I really struggle to understand. It probably dates back to ancient times, just like the places I've been before.

But when I try touching the table out of curiosity once again, it almost fell. Great? Because I somewhat understand, my soul may touch the table.

But the book above it surprises me. It has no title at all. However, it is the same color as the table and seems extravagant to look at because it is made of wood.

I read the first page as I open it, and it's in a language I know a little bit about because I'm being trained to be the future empress in the past. Not now. Not ever again.

“…..expecteriumizes?”

But as soon as I finish speaking the alien language, I’m enveloped in a blinding light, and when I try to open my eyes again, I’m already transported back to a very familiar setting.

"Milady, I'm very glad you're okay."

Sebastian looks very concerned before.

“We were unaware that the gardener had such malice toward the Duke and Duchess that it nearly killed you.”

I am aware of this scenario. When I was sixteen years old, a gardener almost stabbed my mother. Actually, Cornelia isn't really my real mother, so why should I care whether I call her that? Instead, I was the one who ended up getting stabbed and the Duchess would have been almost killed if I hadn't protected her.

"Hold on, Kaylla. Linia? When was today's date?” I start speaking in a raspy voice, as though I’m currently also panting from running, but I ignore my surroundings because I’m curious to know whether this is just another ramble of my soul or whether fate had indeed delivered me home.

“Milady, it's the day before your birthday in the year Admonerus, and something just happened!”