Chapter 0003

Amber's P.O.V

Walking away, I immediately turn to flick her off before making my way back into my room.

God, I can't stand her!

Why did she have to be my mom out of all people?

There are over 6 billion people in this world and I just had to get her.

"You’re such a bitch." I hear Jack say from behind me.

I turn around at the sound of his voice to see him leaning against my door frame.

"You think I don't already know that?" I question as I place a piece of gum into my mouth.

"You know you made her cry, right?" He asks, furrowing his eyebrows.

I honestly couldn't help but laugh.

The bitch cried, wow she's so pathetic.

"Why are you laughing?" He questions somewhat harshly.

"How can you not laugh? Gosh, she's pathetic." I say trying to contain my laughter.

"She's pathetic? Look at you. You're the one who's pathetic." He says, scoffing at me as he shakes his head before walking out.

"That's not a very nice thing to say." I mock, not really caring about what he thinks.

My phone rings, interrupting my thoughts and without checking the caller's I.D I immediately pick up, whilst waving Jack out of my room.

"Party tonight hoe." Nina says through the phone, grabbing my attention.

Nina and I have been best friends since we were five, along with Mia. It's always just been us three. No one could ever break the bond that we have built, no matter how hard they try.

"What time?" I ask.

"It starts at 8"

"Bitch that's in an hour, what the Fuck?" I say as I look over at my clock, realizing that I had barely any time to get ready.

"Well that sucks because you're going, you don't really have a choice." She laughs.

"Who's party?" I ask out of curiosity.

"Um...sammy's" she quickly calls out.

She knows that I'm very infatuated with Sammy and that I always get nervous around him so why make me go?

When he was here, I had a sudden burst of confidence that I doubt I would ever get again. I think my urge to annoy Jack completely surpassed any anxiety I typically feel around him in that moment.

"Well, then I'm not going." I sigh.

"Come onnnnn Amber. It's a party, just go! It's not like he knows you like him so what's the problem? Plus, Jack will be there so it should be less awkward if you decide to talk to him." She explains, seeming hopeful to change my mind.

"Nina, you just don't understand. You get every guy you want. I don't. And if Jack's going to that party then I'm definitely not. He's just going to ruin shit for me or try to embarrass me in some way." I explain whilst fidgeting with my nails.

"Well, since I’m your best friend it's my job to get you to overcome your fears so, therefore you’re going. I'll be over in twenty. Be ready bitch. Oh and wear something sexy." She says before hanging up the phone without giving me the chance to protest.

I look at my now black screen in disbelief.

She really just hung up on me.

"Well shit." I chuckle to myself as I continue to look down at my phone.

Maybe I should go, I mean what’s the worst that could happen?

Truthfully; I love parties, my life revolves around partying. I love the high you get right before you're officially drunk and the experience you feel each time you take a hit.

I love that you can be your complete self and not be judged because everyone is doing the same things as you.

I love being ‘the life of the party', it's such a thrill to me.

I just don't want to go to Sam's.

I don't want to embarrass myself, I don't want him to think of me as something that I'm actually not.

Most people see me as a complete and utter bitch who cares about nobody but herself. Which makes sense because I make myself out to be that. I hide the my real self because I don't want to get hurt. Because, it seems like everytime I do, I'm the one getting the shit end of the stick. It’s been that way my whole life, especially with my mom so I refuse to show anyone my real colors. I hide it well.

The real Amber Elstastine is a insecure, self-conscious freak. Who is absolutely worthless and tends to over analyze things. I get panic attacks that usually result in me shaking and crying like a child.

I hate it.

I hate myself.

The only people who know those things about me are Nina and Mia. But… they don't know everything which is why I tend to party mu problems away.

They don't know that I'm hurting on the inside.

They don't know that I'm constantly crying and screaming at myself for being such a pathetic, revolting freak.

They don't know that I walk outside everyday feeling insecure and judged.

They don’t know about the secrets from my past.

But then, again nobody will ever know that. I’ll never allow myself to be that vulnerable again.

I'm taken out of my thoughts by my phone buzzing.

Mia😻: are you going to Sam's party?

I laugh as I read her text. Shouldn't Nina already have told her?

Me: kinda have to now, Nina's basically forcing me

Mia😻: oh cool, can I borrow your red shorts?

Really? Is she really only texting me for my shorts?

Me: Smh, no you can't.

Mia😻: Because?

Me: because I said so.

Read 7:15

I roll my eyes playfully as I walk into my bathroom and hook my phone up to my speaker. I then lock myself in the restroom and turn the knob of my shower to the perfect temperature. After doing so, I immediately strip my body down and stare at myself in the mirror with hatred.

Why can’t I have the body of all of those I*******m models?

Why can’t I be pretty?

Why is my body shaped this way?

"You're disgusting." I say to myself before stepping into the shower.

I grab my sponge and pour some VS body wash onto it as the song life is worth living by Justin Bieber starts to play through the speakers.I sing along to the lyrics as I scrub my body clean while discarding away all of my thoughts.

This is my favorite song in the whole universe, Justin's music seriously speaks to me.

I sing along to the Melodic sound of Justin’s voice as I rinse my body off and step out the shower before wrapping my exposed body in a towel.

As I walk into my room, I immediately start to shiver as the cold air hits my bare skin. I quickly look down at the clock to see that it's now 7:45, causing me to start to panic.

"I only have fifteen minutes to get ready, that's not enough time!" I mutter to myself underneath my breath.

I dry off any excess water and slide on my Calvin Klein thong along with my matching bra set. They weren't fancy but they were extremely comfortable. It's not like I needed to impress anyone with cute and sexy lingerie.

Nobody has any sort of interest in me anyway.

I make my way to my closet before deciding on wearing a black mini skirt along with a micro pink crop top to go with it. Once I was fully dressed in my chosen outfit I then bring myself over to my mirror before deciding on straightening my hair. I turn on my straightener and immediately go onto Sammy's I*******m while waiting for it to heat up.

I go through his tagged photos and see a picture of him and some random girl kissing. A wave of jealous instantly came over me as I start to regret ever going onto his profile.

I knew Sammy had a reputation as the school's fuckboy which makes sense since he's friends with Jack. All Jack's little group of friends do is sleep around with girls, fuck with their feelings, and then leave them after they get what they want.

It's really annoying but to be quite honest, I wouldn't mind if Sammy were to use me. As long as I got the chance to have any sort of relationship with him. Even if it were just a temporary thing that wouldn't last a week. I just want him, or at least the chance to say that I experienced him.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of my doorbell ringing.

"Shit." I say as I look at my messy hair that so desperately needed to be done.

Nina's P.O.V

"Uh... Hey jack." I say, feeling my cheeks heat up as he answers the door.

God, why is he so hot?

"Hey gorgeous." He smiles.

His eyes slowly rake my body, causing my heart rate to rise as our eyes finally meet once again.

"Um, is Amber here?" I ask awkwardly as I place a piece of hair behind my ear.

He opens the door wider for me to come in, allowing me to be greeted by Mrs.Elstastine- or Mrs.Gilins and Mr.Gilins.

While talking to his dad, the feeling that someone was staring at me could not go unnoticed; and considering the fact that I was wearing ripped mini shorts and a crop top I figured it was Jack.

I turn around to see him staring straight at my ass whilst biting his lip. I clear my throat and Jack's eyes immediately dart to mine. He slowly makes his way over to where his stepparents and I were standing as he just continues to stare shamelessly. Jack keeps that same smirk planted on his face, making me feel somewhat confident in my body.

"I'm definitely gonna Fuck you later ." He whispers into my ear, low enough to where only I could hear.

I nod my head off instinct in response, not knowing what else to say as Jack just simply walks away.

I quickly make my way up the stairs to Amber's room, knowing my way around considering I've been here multiple times before.

" Amber, are you ready?" I ask ignoring that intense moment with Jack as I walk into her room.

"No, I still have to do my hair." She says sounding flustered.

"Will you straighten it for me." She sighed while looking down.

Why does she always look so sad and depressed?

Amber's P.O.V

Nina perfectly straightens my hair and I carefully place a pink and black headband on, being careful not to mess up Nina's hard work.

I apply some simple and natural makeup with darker lips before opening the door to go downstairs. As Nina and I begin to make our way to the stairwell the sound of a deep voice stops me.

"That's what you're wearing?"

What's wrong with it?

Should I change or something?

I probably look fat and stupid in this outfit.

"Yeah, do you have a problem?" I ask trying to sound as confident as I can.

Jack scoffs at me in response, making sure to send me a disgusted look before pushing past me and walking down the steps before I could.

I look at Nina and notice that she had a very amused look on her face as she stares at Jack, causing me to grow somewhat confused and annoyed. I decide to shrug both of them off and just continue my walk downstairs.

"Hi girls. Where are you going?" My mom asks, sounding concerned.

"Out." I reply bluntly as I give Mr.Gilins a hug goodbye while completely ignoring my mom.

"We're going to Sam's party." I hear Jack say.

I glare at him, before making my way towards the door.

"Amber!" I hear my mom call out.

"Bye, mother." I seethe before walking out the door with Nina, slamming it shut behind me.

Nina looks at me weirdly but I just ignore her and act as if I didn't notice it.

"Should we see if Jack needs a ride?" She questions, smiling widely to herself.

"Um, no? That asshole can drive himself." I say as I jump inside her red Audi.

"He's not an asshole." She defends as she starts driving down the somewhat busy roads.

"Yeah...okay."

"Where's Mia?" I ask in efforts to change the subject as I no longer want to waste my breath on the concept of Jack.

"She's on her way, we're gonna meet her there." She explains.

I simply nod my head as the possibilities of tonight start to play out in my mind.

Tonight's going to be a long night.