[Cordelia]
Someone is holding my hand.
Opening my eyes just a crack, I see Atlas’ blond hair glowing in the nearby lamplight. He looks softer than he usually does with his hair askew and his shirt unbuttoned with cuffs rolled up to his elbows. He is always so crisply dressed, so cold and distant in the way he presents himself to the world–especially to me. Yet at this moment as he sits here holding my hand he looks soft, gentle, and warm.
I gasp, my chest pounding as I moan in agony. My entire body feels abused and tender.
“Cordelia,” he whispers, hearing me gasp, sitting up a bit str
[Cordelia]Atlas and I agreed to try and see if we could be in a relationship–a real romantic relationship.My ex-husband wants to be my boyfriend. And as such, he was convinced that he needed to start protecting me immediately.But I could see how tired he was, how much he needed to rest, so I shooed him away.“I’m not going anywhere,” I laughed. “And I need my sleep too.”He told me he’d be right back. So I rested my head on my pillows, closed my eyes, and let my body settle into a much-needed sleep, looking forward to a new day and a new start in life.When I opened my eyes again, the room was dark. Atlas isn’t here, but I can smell his lavender
[Atlas]She looked so tired when she asked me to leave, that I agreed to give her enough space to rest. I didn’t want to admit that I needed rest too. I was willing to watch over her sleeping form until I knew she was well enough to travel. I wanted to bring her home with me, but she refused. “I want to go slow,” she insisted. “Last time I was forced into your world. This time, I’d like to invite you into mine.”So I went home. Climbing into bed, I couldn’t sleep, haunted by memories of her and me together. Not just the unforgettable passion of that night when our child was conceived, but every kiss, every fight, and every interaction since. This time will be different because this time, we are coming together because we choose to, not because we are told to. Eventually, I gave up on sleeping.I won’t feel comfortable until I’ve seen her safely return to her home. Climbing out of bed, I wash, eat, and rush back to the hospital. When I get there, I don’t stop to check in but go dire
[Cordelia] I wake to the sound of birdsong and the warmth of the sun shining through the window near my bed. Blinking, I open my eyes to see a pleasant room painted in bright yellow with wooden furniture and large pillows in pastel colors. It all looks like something from a tropical dream of what Heaven might look like. “Atlas,” I call out into the quiet. There is no response. The last thing I remember is the feeling of his arms around me as we… The door creaks open. Suddenly alert, I sit up quickly. Too quickly. My head begins to pound and I suddenly feel like I might be sick with pain from the way my brain feels like jello inside of my skull. “What is wrong with me?” I mumble more to myself than to anyone else. “Where am I?” “You’re here, with me,” a cheery voice calls out. Moving my hands, my eyes take a moment to adjust. “Angelica?” I cannot believe my eyes. “But you disappeared? You’ve been gone for 5 years and I…” “What are you talking about, “ she smiles over her should
[Cordelia]“I can see you are still not convinced,” Angelica walks over to the dresser and pulls out a long sundress and undergarments. “Let’s go find Jude. He’ll help show you the truth.” She helps me get dressed, as my body is fairly unsteady. She tells me that this is normal for me after one of my “episodes.” There are times when my mind shuts down and I go in and out of consciousness for several days or even weeks. This time I had been asleep for a week and a half. “And every time I need to remind you of who you are and what has happened,” she sighs. “You seem to believe your dreams are real and this is a fantasy.” Guiding me gently by the arm, Angelica gives me a grand tour of the island. It is surprisingly close to home, just a short distance from Los Angeles. “Jude’s family has had property here in the Channel Islands for generations,” she explains as she continues to tell me more and more about a fiance I cannot remember going on and on about his merits. With the way her f
[Cordelia]“Are you okay, Cordy,” his face and voice are warm and concerned, but his eyes are cold, and calculating, looking at every element of my face.Forcing my face into a smile I lie. “Everything is fine.”As happy as I am to see Angelica, I cannot trust her. She lied to me with too much ease and sincerity. She was convincing enough that I was starting to believe her, and if I hadn’t had a flash of memory, I may still be convinced. She didn’t betray a single mistake as she gaslit me and tried to convince me that my reality was not true.But maybe she doesn’t know everything she said is a lie. If I have been walking around for who knows how long with some type of amnesia, maybe the same is true for her.
[Atlas]None of this feels real. We’ve been searching for Cordelia for over a month now and still haven’t found any solid leads. The police have started to hint that maybe she doesn’t want to be found, that she disappeared intentionally.Their other suggestion is one I don’t want to think about–that she was taken by whoever poisoned her and that she might already be dead. I refused to believe that. I need to believe that she is still out there, with our baby, somewhere safe but hidden, waiting for me to find her. I’ve placed a framed picture of her on our wedding day next to the bed. Every morning I look at it and wonder how things could have been if I had given that shy girl a chance to love me and be loved in return. She was too young to be getting married, only 19. As a bachelor in my 30s, I should have known better. But my grandfather had wanted the match and when Angelica disappeared, her younger sister seemed to be the best option at the time. I promised myself not to ever
[Atlas]I don’t know whether or not I want to hug my brother or punch him. Somehow he had found a pattern that the police had missed, even though they had been given a month so far to find her. “Why didn’t you offer any of this to the police?” I wonder aloud. “Maybe this could have helped crack the case.”“I tried, but they informed me that all of this surveillance was technically illegal and that none of it would hold up in a court of law.” He shrugged. “I tried there first before coming to discuss all of this with you. I had been…” he pauses before continuing “...hoping that I could help without getting directly involved. If they had just taken my footage I’d…”He doesn’t need to finish his sentence. He probably didn’t want to tell me about his surveillance of Cordelia and me. Considering how bad it makes him look, I can almost understand his motivation. “I also wanted to verify some of my suspicions first before I came to you. So I hired a private investigator.” He explains as he
[Cordelia]It is dark when I open my eyes.I am alone in a room that feels cold, even though I am covered in blankets. As my eyes adjust, I realize it is the same yellow room from before, only now everything is in various shades of gray as the pale moonlight changes everything into the many colors of shadows. The last thing I remember, I was being forced onto a table to be “examined” by Jude. However, I can’t remember anything after that because whatever he did next made the world fade to nothing. I think he tried to hypnotize me. Now that I think about it, maybe he succee
[Cordelia] Today is our 20th second anniversary. We've lost count of the first one, forgetting it entirely as a moment of sadness. Instead, we honor the day when we took our vows and meant them, 7 years later in Napa. Usually, we leave Los Angeles and take the week for just the two of us. Even after two decades, we haven't lost our hunger for one another and I look forward to our time away where we can just be two people together and in love. But this year, my husband is feeling a bit nostalgic. This is why I'm in the lobby of the Steele Hotel and Resort, recreating a memory I wish I could forget. When he sent me the cryptic text this afternoon, I confess I was more than a little bit confused. Why, of all places, would he want me to meet him there? At least this time I'm not wearing a hoodie with a dress tucked into a pair of loose sweats. And while my face is covered with large sunglasses, it's more to protect my identity and not draw too much attention. I am far too recogniza
[Clark] "Come on. Dad!" My daughters pull me along by my arms. I've never been able to deny them anything they wanted but tonight they are asking too much. "It's only a blind date!" "Girls," I admonish, "What have I said, I'm not ready to let someone new into my heart. Your mother was more than enough for me." Cassie stares up at me with her starlight eyes, as deep and black as her mother's, and doesn't relent. "You promised you'd let us have anything we want for our birthday. Grandma helped us pick her out. You have to try, Dad. For us!" "Grandma Suzanna or Grandma Jenny?" I grump, "Who do I need to send a thank you note." "Both!" the girls giggle. "You owe us, Dad," Cassie counters. Her red curls bounce as she stomps her foot. "Do you know how weird it is to look on a DATING AP for potential girlfriends for our father? It's so gross. You should be grateful" "Yeah," Maddie chimes in, swinging her hair over her shoulder as she twists her lips just like Tilly used to, her hand
[Jude]If the universe were fair, I wouldn't have lived to see today. If karma took her toll, I wouldn't be friends with Clark and Atlas Steele, our children growing up side by side. Once the shadow of Magnus was lifted from our shoulders, and Angelica and I were finally able to go about our lives the way we always should have been able to do, It became easier to make good with my life. Angelica and I were married shortly after Mathilda's funeral. It was a small ceremony on the family medical boat, just before the two of us set sail with our daughters, Melanie and Veronica. When the DNA showed that they were indeed my children, and NOT Magnus', that his experiment had never stuck, it was easy to adopt them. In their mind, Angelica is their mother. When they are old enough, we'll tell them the truth about Aunt Sydney, but for now, we are sparing them the burden of her insanity.And we give them love, all the love of a couple who has always wanted children of their own.Angelica, it tu
[Cordelia]15 hours later I place my feet back in LA for the first time in 6 months. We have been gone for so long that I had forgotten how loud it is, or how oppressively hot it can be in summer. Clark met us at the runway alone, the girls with their grandparents. "I hope you don't mind, but I wanted to drive you home. We could have sent a driver but," he explains, "I wanted to be the one to welcome you home." He does his best to smile, but as his melancholy grin drifts to how I hold on to my husband's hand, I can see how much this is costing him. "I'm glad it was you," I reach forward to give him a hug. "Thank you." Atlas, who has been receiving a slew of messages from Theo as soon as we landed, asks to be dropped off at the new Steele Industries building. "Looks like they need me," he apologizes, kissing my hand. "I'll make it up to you tonight," he whispers in my ear and I shiver in anticipation. "I'm going to hold you to that," I whisper discretely in his ear, trying to be mi
[Cordelia]The rest of that day went by in a blur. I insisted we rush back to the compound even though everyone had received the news that Tilly was gone. I couldn't believe it. My mind couldn't process the possibility of a world without Mathilda Madison. She wasn't just my best friend, she was my sister. So I couldn't let her go. Clark was distraught. He and Tilly took a while to find one another, and when they did finally make the right connection, they fell for one another hard. It was beautiful watching my two best friends fall in love--they were perfect for one another. But not all stories end with a happily ever after. That was a hard lesson for me to learn as well. I wanted nothing more than to watch Tilly raise her daughters. When we made it back an hour later, her body had already been collected. I had wanted to see her, to give it a chance to see if I could have brought her back: just one touch, one spark. I was convinced that I could have been the one to save her. The
[Sydney]Why can't they just let me die? It would be so easy, I'm already cut and bleeding. Why bother with the IVs and the monitors? It doesn't matter anymore. Did it ever matter?My entire existence has been a fraud. If my hands were free I'd count the ways on my fingertips all the ways I've been lied to and used.A madman altered my DNA and injected me into the wrong mother. I was raised believing I was special only to discover I was the offspring of my enemy. The man of my dreams was married to the daughter my mother was supposed to have, and I was just a cheap copy of the woman he once loved, my genetic twin, Angelica. Was this life ever really mine to begin with? Even now they aren't honoring my desire to die. "She needs more blood," the doctor announces over my head, her clear voice cutting through the din of the operating room chatter. "Her blood pressure has dropped to dangerous levels. We can't use the anesthesia. She'll need to be awake for the procedure."Procedure?"I d
[Clark]The dissection of Magnus' brain was one of the most intensely fascinating and uniquely horrifying things I have ever experienced. Using my computer to guide the charge, we attached wires to his brain, fed through a divide that my mother had retrieved from her vault. "This will disrupt his signal. It will keep him from making a full memory transfer. Hopefully whomever he's jumped into will have a fighting chance." Everything my mother has said since I volunteered for this task has sounded like something from a science fiction movie. The duplicates we had seen in Delilah's footage of her father's secret lab were all designed to hold Magnus's memories in an artificial extension of his life. Not all of them looked like his current body, as often it was useful for him to become someone entirely different for spying purposes. "Is this how he always seemed to know everything?" I ask aloud. We had wondered how he managed to get around all of our codes, to find ways to learn about wh
[Cordelia]"Wally?" Holding my hand above his head, I pause, hesitating. Just a moment before I was about to take this man's life without even the smallest shred of remorse. It was necessary to protect my family. My children and my husband. "Cordelia," He blinks, his eyes roving my face and the surroundings like a caged animal. Licking his dry, salty lips, his body is otherwise completely still. "I don't have much time. He's fighting me...I..."Wally's muscles spasm, shaking Atlas as well as he holds him in place. Closing his eyes, his body stills, as if the effort of keeping still is so great that he cannot do anything else at the same time. He whispers something that I can't quite make out, so I lean in, trying to capture his words.As my hair brushes his cheek, he repeats himself. "You need to end this, Cordelia. Don't let him escape to harm another. His other mind is gone, Suzanna saw to it, but he can still jump to someone else.""Wally, what are you saying," I shake my head. "No
[Cordelia]Atlas and I raced down the hall to the exit, soldiers moving out of our way as we passed, nobody bothering to stop us as my husband's icy glare and dominant aura kept them pinned in place. Magnus is dead and I have never been more terrified in my life. The door to the outside pushes open and we are instantly blinded by the overhead sunshine that covers the beach with an oddly bright gray that stings the eyes. It is warmer than it had been earlier, the wind having died down, trapping the moisture of impending rain, held in place by the gathering storm. "Jasper," I call out gently, scanning the beach. "Wally?""Atlas do you see Jasper?" I grab my husband's arm. His pulse is rapid beneath my fingertips as we move forward as one and find the abandoned picnic blanket and Jasper's little galoshes next to a much larger pair. "Wally!" I scream out towards the waves and find him standing in the water, at the far edge of the beach. There is no sign of my son. None. It's as if the