This was a sad, hard chapter to write. Thank you all for hanging in there and supporting this story. Don't worry, it won't all be sad times :)
[Atlas] It feels like I don't know her anymore. The passionate woman so determined to carve her own path and make her way through the world has disappeared behind a shroud of sadness. She's always crying even while she's sad and there doesn't seem to be any way for me to reach her. She won't accept my touches, and I'm afraid to try more because my own heart is so tender, I can't handle a rejection. I still love her. I will never stop loving her. But I'm starting to wonder if I'm the reason she's miserable. There is something she is keeping from me, something she won't say, and every time I try to guess, she seizes up, her eyes growing wide and her breath quick. "Don't ask me about that day," she often snaps. "I don't remember anything!" I haven't told her this, because she seems to have so much worry already, but I'm considering renting a condo in town. I have no intention of selling the house--that was my gift to her and Jasper. I just know I can't concentrate on what I need
[Atlas]At some point, I must have fallen asleep, because I snap awake when Clark walks in and places a cup of coffee on a nearby table. "Rough night?" He claps my shoulder as he takes a seat next to me."If we weren't already divorced," I look up at him as I take a grateful sip of the warm brew. "I'd say Cordelia and I are getting ready to sign the papers.""Ouch." Clark winces. "So therapy...""It isn't working," I confess."And Cordelia is suffering. I think we will need to focus our search without asking her to help with the efforts. Just bringing up the kidnapping sets her into a frenzy. I don't want to cause her any more pain." "And the police?" Clark twists his mouth as he says this. Based on our past experiences with them I can't say that I blame him. They have a less-than-stellar track record when it comes to finding evidence or following leads. It almost feels like we are doing all the crime-fighting for them when it comes to our family. Without Clark's video surveillance an
[Cordelia]I've been on the phone with Crissy Devaroux for the last hour and a half, telling her all about the argument I had with Atlas. I was hoping she'd give me some motherly advice to help me keep connected to him.Instead, she suggested I give my relationship some space."Come home," my mother begged as I held the receiver to my ear. "You have nothing left to keep you there, but you'll always have a place here with me." "I can't just leave Atlas alone to deal with this...mess," I explain. Atlas has been working so hard with Clark to try to track down our son and bring him home, even without my help. If anything, I'm more of a hindrance. He's so preoccupied with keeping me from falling apart that he can't focus on what is necessary.The sad thing is, I know who has our son and why. But I can't say anything because if I do, the two people I love most in the world will die. My best chance at finding out anything is to stay here and hunt for this family safe or vault or whatever th
[Cordelia]I look to the doorway and my heart stops, and my breathing stills."Atlas."He steps into the sunlight, closing the door behind him."I asked you, a question, Cordelia." His words are strained. "Where are you going?""Home.""You are home," he insists as he approaches, his eyes flashing with hurt and anger. He came back. As he walks towards me I realize my shock lies in the belief that I didn't expect him to return."I don't want you to leave," He reaches out to me and I let him take my hands in his. "I should have said that yesterday."His thumbs touch my fingertips tenderly, a gesture that is both loving and careful and I know he is afraid that I might break with what he needs to say. "Something is broken between us, Cordelia. Something that has been broken since the night he disappeared."I don't look up, I keep my eyes down, watching our hands. "Losing our son broke us," I say softly afraid to ruin the moment, but also needing to speak. "It is my fault again. My fault
[Atlas]We are stopped somewhere between Santa Barbara and Monterey in a little town with no discernable name buying junk food at a convenience store. This is so outside of our everyday life of expensive luncheons and designer suits. But as I watch Cordelia marvel at the fluorescent pink slurry she is pumping into an oversized plastic cup, I can't think of this choice as a mistake. We both needed to get far away from our normal lives and I can't imagine being any further away than we are right now.When I get home, I'm going to thank Clark. This was a good idea. No, it was the best idea ever. Cordelia and I never had a honeymoon. Our wedding was an arranged one, a deal between our two families, and she wasn't even the bride I had chosen. The day we got married was the most miserable day of both of our lives. But seeing Cordelia with her hair wiping in the breeze of a convertible, a smile stretched from ear to ear as we twist around the corners of the California coastline, I know th
[Cordelia]"But not here," I constantly look over my shoulder. Never knowing when Magnus might be watching puts me on edge. What if Magnus harms my baby because I dare to tell my husband the truth?""Where do you need to go?" He leans in. "Tell me, Cordelia, how can I make this right again between us.""Take me somewhere private, someplace no one else can see," I request. His eyes light up and he reaches for me, pulling me into our first kiss in weeks.His soft lips next to mine make my heart race and my eyes flutter shut. I had almost forgotten how good it feels to be loved by him. "I know a little place, not too far from here, that is closed to everyone" he whispers against my neck. "But I know how to get in, and nobody will bother us there.""Take me," I breathe, meaning both the words and the implication behind them. My body aches so much for his touch that just the promise of it makes things deep within me clench. "Please."
[Cordelia]His hands cup my face tenderly as he bends forward and we come together in a crash of lips. I open to him and he moans as we deepen our kiss. He has missed me as much as I have missed him it seems because it doesn't take long for us to begin peeling our outer layers."Swim with me," he smiles as we stand in our underwear, waiting to see what the other one does. "The ocean is gentle today and we won't go deeper than we can stand.""I don't know if that is a good idea," I look at the gentle waves rolling in. "I don't know how to swim, and the last time I entered the ocean I almost drowned."His face colors with memory, growing red and angry. He wasn't there, but he heard about it later. It doesn't matter if, in the end, I was safe, just the thought of Jude trying, and failing, to teach me sours his expression.I reach forward and kiss him. "You won't let me go, right."A smile relaxes his face as he hears me
[Atlas]As we lay nude next to one another, wrapped up together in a couple of oversized blankets, we hid ourselves from the world and Cordelia shared all of her secrets. The lies she had told, the words she was too afraid to say.And of course, the person behind it all. Magnus. "Every time I tried to say something, a new threat would come through my phone," she explained as she continued her confession. "I have been trying to tell you for weeks, but even notes could be seen somehow. I'm still not sure how he is monitoring me. Maybe my phone, my clothes...I just knew we needed to get away from everything if I would have a chance to tell you."Her heartbeat underneath my hands is faster than a hummingbird's wings and I worry it will stop if she doesn't calm down. She's so frightened, she's been so frightened for so long, that even now as she tells me everything, she is trapped in fear. "I'm afraid I just killed our baby," she cries into my chest and I hold her close. "But I can't do t