Cordelia is beginning to build a new life for herself. But is it too soon?
[Cordelia]Holding my breath, I stare at the package. A chill runs up my back as a feeling of deja vu washes over me. It's just like all the other packages before, only usually they aren't delivered directly to my work. I wonder what makes this one so special."You know what, Mother," My smile and tone a bit sharp, my body tight with anxiety as I look at the offerings left on my desk. "Why don't we meet up for lunch? We can discuss the designs then over food. Then we can look at it with fresh eyes and a full stomach." "Aren't you going to open it?" she looks at the package slyly as she stands and gathers the sketches scattered on my desk. "At least check to see if there is a note." "There isn't one," I don't even need to look to know this. This isn't the first package I've received. None of them have ever had a note. The packages began arriving two days after I first landed here in Vancouver. The first package contained a beautiful new sketchbook and a set of pens. At the time I a
[Cordelia]It is light, barely more than tape and paper.Carefully I peel back the simple brown paper to reveal a box with the logo of a local jeweler. I double-check for a card to see if this package is from someone else because my anonymous present sender has never sent me anything expensive.Inside the larger box is a smaller green velvet box. Inside is a silver locket on a long silver chain. It is an elegant piece, simple and warms to my touch as I pull it out of the box. Inside I find a small dried flower placed in front of a photo of the California coastline. It looks like wild mustard, a weed that flourishes along the California coast--A little touch of home. On the other side, there is room for a picture, and I know that as soon as Jasper is born, I will place his little face there. My finger feels the gentle edges of an engraving. Flipping the locket to the back side, I see a large swooping C and S intertwined. "Cordelia Steele," I whisper as I open the locket again. It is
[Cordelia] My doctor-midwife, Dr. Andrews, arrived in less than 10 minutes, ready with an emergency birthing kit in case things were further along than my assistant had reported. "Ms. Devaroux, I highly advise you give up working until after Jasper arrives," her face is stern but loving, her perfectly painted lips curved downward. "It was a false alarm this time, but if you aren't more careful with yourself, it might not be next time." "But I'm needed here," I insist. "I've put so much work into building this and I can't let it fall apart now." "If you don't shift your priorities," she scolds, her tone becoming cold with disappointment. "You aren't going to have any choice but to quit everything. You put yourself, and your child, at risk with your stubborn, selfish behavior." she seems a bit angry as she adds. "Consider this your warning call." My mood spirals downward as I consider her implications. Even though I say I'm working this hard to build a legacy for my son, am I rea
[Cordelia]Taking a deep breath, I reach forward and clasp the hand of my dear friend. "Henri," I smile sadly. "I can't marry you. In my heart, I'm still married to him," my hand absently presses the locket to my chest. "Will you allow me at least to try and change your mind?" He shifts into businessman mode and I'm reminded of Atlas. There is a lot about Henri that reminds me of Atlas. They look completely different--Henri has black hair, brown skin, and bright green eyes whereas Atlas is blonde and fair with grey eyes--but they behave so similarly. Neither wear their hearts on their sleeve, but keep many of their emotions close to their chest. They also tend to think of relationships as business transactions. "I'm not sure that would be fair for you," I reply honestly, trying to let him down gently. "Or to me.""Let me make you an offer, a compromise," his grin increases. "Let's wait for a while, become better friends, spend the next year getting to know one another, maybe occasion
[Cordelia]After that evening with Henri, I had a lot on my mind. Some might say too much because the very next day I had another attack like the one the day before. This time my doctor was livid and so was my mother. Outvoted, I've been stuck in confinement, waiting for my little guy to make his arrival. I did receive a bit of good news today that helped brighten my mood and gave me something to look forward to. Tilly will be flying up this evening with Clark to be nearby for the first month of Jasper's life, to help me cook and clean and rest. Now we're all just waiting for Mr. Steele to make his arrival. I feel I've been pretty patient with him, but it feels like I've been pregnant forever. Dr. Andrews says that most mothers feel like this the closer they get to their due date. "Most of you will do anything to get that baby out. Bumpy roads, spicy food, lots and lots of sex."I choke on my tea. "Seriously?""Yes," she nods enthusiastically. "A good orgasm is great for speeding alo
[Cordelia]All the lights blink on all at once. My mother is there along with Tilly and Clark. Gertrude is standing by the bar next to a giant cake. There are lots of presents stacked high on a table by the door and every surface is covered with green ribbons. "Happy Baby Shower!" Tilly claps just before she rushes up to give me a big, awkward hug. "I'm sorry I didn't come sooner. I never expected you to not return home." The sadness in her tone tugs at my heartstrings as she releases me, only to have Clark come up and give me his own big hug."How's it going, Sis," he insists on calling me, even though Atlas and I were not married when he died. "And how is little Mr. Steele?""He's fine," I pat my baby's little bottom which now sticks up pressed against my belly, "right now he is pressing up against my intestines. It's lovely," I groan as he grimaces sympathetically.The room is far more full than I'd expect. Not only the staff of Delia Devaroux are all here along with several other
[Cordelia]"I'm not dating him," this answer is mostly true. "He's just my friend," I don't mention the proposal either. Nothing is going to come from it, so it doesn't matter. "I saw the way he was looking at you, Cordelia." Clark raises an eyebrow. "Is Henri aware that you are not dating? If Atlas were here he'd...""Atlas isn't here!" I shout, crying. "He turned around and entered that damn building after I told him not to. He wasn't even able to save her, Clark. Now both of them are dead. My husband and my sister lost in the same stupid accident." I'm sobbing now as I attempt to open my door, my hand slipping several times before I manage to get the key into the lock. "Cordelia, I didn't mean...It's just hard to see and...""Right now, Clark, I don't care what you think Atlas would have wanted in this situation." I am angry now, my sadness moving into a darker, more intense emotion as I continue to cycle through my grief. "IF he wanted to keep me safe if he didn't want other peop
[Cordelia]Within minutes I was on my way to the hospital. My bag was already packed and my mother was on standby. Getting there was the easy part. The part that wasn't easy was the waiting. Whenever the heroine gives birth in a movie or on TV, it always seems the baby is in her arms only minutes after her water breaks. It rarely happens that way. You are usually stuck laboring for HOURS, and DAYS in some cases. While the water breaking might signal the start of labor, there are times that it doesn't. Like today. "If you didn't have broken waters, I'd send you home," The doctor grinned. "You must have taken ALL of my advice yesterday," she winks. "Good job." "Um, thank you," I'm not quite sure what to say while being praised for going on a walk, eating spicy pizza, and having amazingly hot fantasy dream sex with my dead husband."Did you know," the doctor helps cover me again after the examination, "That it isn't just the orgasm that helps speed the baby along, but the semen?" s