Chapter 10

After that night, my soul never met peace.

I never had the chance to sleep after Adam's word echoed through my brain nonstop, like it was looped for the whole night. 'I am not the one in your heart.'

I still don't get it.

I got off my bed and I felt like I was about to collapse. Tremendous heat was radiating in my body so I decided to rush into the bathroom to take a shower. My head was hurting like hell and it was like I was having a migraine. I tried to relax as I let the waters drop onto my head. Every cascading droplet of water made me think of Adam's fingers brushing my skin.

Fuck it.

I flung my eyes open and just finished my bath before my frivolous thoughts disturb me again. I went to my room and see my wardrobe if I can choose anything to wear for today. I feel sick.

I think I don't want to go to the office today.

I should call Nat. I sat down on my bed and opened my cellphone. I scroll through my contacts and press Natalie. The ring was just short since she answered it immediately.

"Miss Eva?" Her sweet voice went off the speaker.

"Hi, Nat. Please cancel all the meetings for today, I don't feel well."

"Shall I come over? Do you have a fever? I can have a physician visit you right now?"

"No, I'm okay. Fill up for me for a while."

"Okay, Miss Eva...I'm going to come over when the job is already done."

She is a kind girl, for just a short amount of time, I feel like she is very close to me.

"Uhm, Nat, don't tell anyone in the office."

"Yes."

I hang up and my body falls heavily on my bed. My breath was all hot, and when I close my eyes, some dark figures show up, making me want to vomit. The air that escapes from outside the window is making me feel so freaking cold. Taking a shower was such a freaking wrong move. I tried standing up my bed so I could close the window but the friendly crow stood by the silt and hops side to side before flying away. “What a weird bird….”

This is why I don't like getting a fever. It messes up with my whole system.

I just want to sleep. I shut my eyes down and try my best to just drowse off but dark patches kept invading my mind.

I have to buy analgesics and some ibuprofen.

"Eve, what happened?"

Adam. I kept my eyes closed since my body felt afloat in the space. Hearing his voice made me wanna cry. I still don't understand why there is a part of me longing for him even though I haven't had years with him unlike Zach.

"Adam, what are you doing to me."

My voice cracked up, there were the streaming hot tears that flows out of my closed eyes.

"No... Eve, I'm sorry."

I felt shaky as he gets on the bed and pulled my body to him. He is so warm. My sobs became louder as he embraced me with his arms. My head was in his chest and my body was laying on his sitting body. I opened my eyes and see this beautiful man staring at me with his sincere eyes. He brushes my hair with his hand, and I just listened to the loud beating on his chest. So he feels something...

"Don't think about it, Eve. Now's not the time for you to wrap your mind on that thing."

I sniffle while I lay on him. But my head and my fever seemed to have gone worse.

"Do you trust me?"

I nod. His hand suddenly emitted a blue flame which made my eyes gap. It was so clear and it was the most amazing thing that I have ever seen. I lift my hand to touch it and it never burns my hand. I wave my hand on it, it made me feel that warmth and it ignited my body, in a healing kind of way. As I play with the fire on his hand, my fingers proceeded to entwine with his. I love how his hands perfectly fit on mine. His was bigger and it laced with mine without any hesitation.

"Close your eyes."

I quickly obeyed. With his hands still holding mine, my head peacefully laid on his chest.

"When you wake up, your fever will subside, you'll feel better."

The warmth he emits envelops me and it was so hard to open my eyes to look at him again. I simply followed what my body wanted to do for the time being and slept with me, wrapped in Adam's arms.

*****

Where am I?

I am being blinded by a bright light in my sleep, and it made me awake. Everything was blurry green as my vision adjusts to the new background. When I am already in my right sense, the sceneries made my eyes light up. It was a garden filled with bushes, trees, and there were birds chirping through. The sky there was so blue.

As I step through the land, the grasses tickled my feet and I giggled. I walked and walked, trying to figure out what place am I in and for the while, also enjoying the beauty of it.

Strolling through the trees, I see bluebirds humming in the branches, then a woman dressed in a white long dress. She was dazzling, her hair cascaded down her back, it was red and mermaid-like. Her skin was fair and shiny like pearls, and she was standing near the cliff, contemplating the land before her.

I want to take a closer look.

I silently made my steps to get closer to her but a fallen branch broke to my feet. She turned back and looked at me.

What the hell?

She was staring at me with her grey eyes and I was gazing back, shocked by how this girl wears the same face like mine. She looks like me.

"Eve?"

A deep voice that called for my name made both of us look in its direction at the same time.

Adam. He had a wide grin on his face, and you can see such joy in his eyes. I feel my lips grinning back at him. I love seeing him this cheerful, he’s beautiful.

I opened my eyes and found myself in bed. The dream was so vivid, making me rethink the woman and Adam in my dream. My head is not aching anymore and my body feels a bit lighter than it was before I fell asleep. Where's Adam?

I sat down on my bed immediately, worried that he might have gone away again. I don't want him to go. As my gaze rotates outside the room, Adam was standing by the door. He wore his gray pants and a black v neck shirt that looked like citro. It made him look more animated and unreal. Every time I see him makes me wanna cry. He walks towards me then sits down by the bed, he was holding some Pocari.

"How are you feeling?" His low-pitched British voice made me smile. I wanted to reach out to his head, to touch his hair but instead, I kept my hand clasped together. He looks the same as what my dream showed me, but he looks happier there than in here.

"I'm okay, thank you."

He opened the bottle and handed it over to me.

"Drink it." His face used to conceal his emotions before, but now, he is just filled with worry. I put the mouth of the bottle to my lips and took a sip, the coldness of the Pocari made me feel so refreshed. I closed the cap and looked at him. I need to clear things up.

"Adam."

"Yes?"

"About last night. I want to talk about it and clear it up."

He just stares at me and his cold gaze once again appeared. "Go on then."

"I love Zach." His eyes twitched but he never showed any more reaction. "But we aren't lovers."

"I won't help you hook up with him if that's where you're getting at." His voice was cold, he then laid on the bed with his back leaning on the headboard. He is not looking at me but just straight to the wall. My body froze since we are close to each other. Breathe. My heart was thumping loudly but I know I can't just let this ruin my mind again. I need to know what I feel too, and I know that Adam can help me.

"That's not what I mean. What I feel for him---is different from what I have for you." His reaction changed and he looked at me, waiting for me to continue.

I gathered my breath and breath out some air, I can't pull back now. "When I'm with Zach, I feel so calm. It's just like being with him was so peaceful, that I don't have to even think about any problems at all. I am comfortable when he's around, I feel--- protected..."

"I don't think I can continue listening..." His eyes are melancholic but he sits down and just evades my gaze. I can see that he is gritting his teeth since his jaw is hardening from tension.

It hurts seeing him like this, but I don't know why.

I thought about reaching his hands but my fingers are trembling from the cold. I bit my lip in so I can feel something different from my numbing body. Once I felt the pressure applied by my teeth, I gathered the strength to touch him. I held his hand and his eyes widened a little as he stared at me.

"W-with you... it's different. Whenever you are around, I feel like I will explode at any minute. Every bit of my body is itching to be touched by you, then m-my heart never stops beating loudly, rather, it races inside of me. I don't know why, but it makes me anxious and then glad whenever I see you." He was staring at me, looking dumbfounded and I just stayed in my position, not even removing the hand that was laid on his. I don't want to be rejected. But at least now, I know what I feel. "I want to know you better... I-I want---"

He laid his forefinger on my lips and shook his head lightly. I was stuttering, I feel like I am going to collapse at any minute.

His eyes looked like he wants to cry but of course, his arrogance was overwhelming that he kept the apathetic look on his face. A minute has passed and he was just silent. Maybe I did wrong. I smiled at him although I feel hurt and take my hands off slowly, but he grabbed it and held it tight.

My heart leaped and it made me weak when he pushed me to lay down on the bed with his body on top of me. He was still holding my hand, pinning it at the side of my head. My breathing turned heavy and I can feel the growing current that flows to his body and mine.

"Adam."

I whispered and his lips parted, he was looking at me like I was some sort of prey, and he was a hungry animal. The beautiful hue of his eyes were so blue, and his gaze was dark as fuck and I like it. He then unpinned my hand from his and held it slowly. He brought it to his lips without breaking eye contact and gently planted a kiss at the back of my hand. It was such a sweet gesture and his eyes turned gentle. He smiled at me and I want to just melt under him. How can he do these things to me?

I smiled back at him then he propped himself up with his hand and laid beside me.

"My mind still hasn't changed." My eardrums seemed to have gonged my brain from what he said.

What the hell is this all about again. I sat down and my whole body is on fire. And this time I feel mad at him, like totally mad. Is he playing with me?

"I don't get you. The moment you try to open up some weird feelings in me and then you fucking win, you just want to back out on me and just stop the hell! Of what god knows you're doing!"

His eyes widen a little bit while he laid his head on his hand, his elbows propped on the bed. He seemed so surprised by my outburst that his lips twitched. I rolled my eyes at him.

I am frowning. I hate being like this. The unsteady type where all your emotions suddenly get so uncontrolled. I am not like this but then when he came into my life, it all goes bam! I breathe out a lot of freaking air and crossed my arms.

He is not speaking again and nor do I.

I glanced at him to see what he is doing but he was just staring at me, with that smug look on his face. My eyes narrowed at him and I got myself off the bed. I'm not having this again!

I heard him got out of the bed too, as soon as I reached the door before my room but I don't want to look at him. I am anxious! I need to calm down! I bit my lower lips hard until I feel a pain that can stop me from feeling like a terrible mess. I got to the kitchen and a footstep was still on me. I decided to face him so I could have him out of my sight, and when I did, he was smiling at me—making me more irritated than I was before.

"What the hell is wrong with you! Are you here to tease me over and over again?"

He laughed. Yes! He fucking laughed. He laughed at the exact moment when I feel like I can murder him!

"I told you before. You just have to tell me what you want, Eve because I don’t think I could handle being away from you any much longer."

“Then don’t,” I replied agitated.

“Are you sure about that?” He flashed me his foxy smile, making me annoyed the fuck out.

Oh, there's his voice again. That flirty tone that matches his goddamn deep dark voice.  When is he going to take me seriously? I gave him the hand so he can just stop talking to me and at last, he just leaned on the countertop with his arm crossed. His lips were suppressing the amusement that clearly shows on his

face. I need some cold water. I need to chill my organs out from burning.

I grab the ref's handle to open it but before I can even do it, Adam turned me around and kisses me wildly, slamming my back at the fridge's door.

Fuck. He's going to be the end of me.