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11: Figthing his own demons
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Sold to the coldhearted beast 12: The truth of things
*Everly* The room is warm, the fire crackling, and yet sitting in front of the fireplace, I feel as though I am carved from ice. My own clothes are a wet mess, so I am wearing one of the maids’ nightdresses and dressing gowns. I had soaked in a tub of hot water for what had seemed like hours. My hair is braided. I curl one bare foot over the other. I should strive to determine what I am to do about this unfortunate circumstance, but I seem incapable of managing little more than staring at the yellow and orange flames. Orley’s strange behavior in the carriage, his cryptic words … I was quite amazed that he had been able to meet and hold my gaze at least once. If I sought to destroy the very fabric of his being, I would not be able to face him. A mistress, not a wife. That is what I am to become, what he expects for my future, what he sought to give me. Not love, not a family, not a place in Society. It is not to be tolerated. What are my options? Literally, all I possess is the clo
Sold to the coldhearted beast 13: Her decission
*Everly* My stomach lurches at the truth of his words. my father had protected me from the gossip and rumors, and in doing so, he had given me false expectations. I thought I would marry a ranked wolf, an Alpha or beta, and now I am discovering I am not worthy of the lowest omega. Studying this man, I see no kindness in his features, no compassion, no sympathy. Yet he had come after me, carrying me through the rain. Because he thought he owned me, or is it because as he had said, he knows what it is to be where I am? But how could that be when he is the third son of a very high ranking Alpha? “I’ll have your answer now,” He says. “You won’t even allow me the kindness of sleeping on it?” I ask. He shrugs. “I told you last night that I am not kind.” But I can see that he is strong, implacable, confident. If I could learn from him to be the same, perhaps no one would ever be able to take advantage of me again. It makes my stomach churn uncomfortably to realize that all the men las
Sold to the coldhearted beast 14: Confronting her brother
*Tristan* Kissing her had been a colossal error in judgment. Her lips are like silk. Her mouth, smoky with my Scotch, had tasted particularly inviting. Her sighs are as low and throaty as her voice. The sounds had sent desire shooting through me. As a general rule I do not misjudge my actions, but from the moment she had walked into my life, I have been having a time of it when it comes to rational decisions. I had claimed her for my mistress. I had trotted after her into the rain like a misbegotten fool. I had carried her home, knowing the torment that would entail. I had promised to give her time instead of sinking into her molten heat tonight as I so desperately wanted. I had kissed her. And now I am heading to Littlefoot’s. At least this time I had the good sense to have the carriage brought round, it just looks better to arrive in style, than drenched. I tug on my waistcoat. I hate that I have to display myself fully dressed in order to be taken seriously. Clothing alwa
Sold to the coldhearted beast 15: Gifts for breakfast
*Everly* I awake feeling as though a heavy thunderstorm has taken up residence in my skull. That I have slept at all is a miracle. I try not to think about the bargain I have struck. With the pale morning sunlight easing in through the window, I consider dressing, then quietly leaving, seeking sanctuary somewhere else. Surely some sort of shelter exists for she-wolves in my circumstance, but even as I have the thought, I know he wouldn’t let me easily go. He would find me. He would make me pay for staying in his residence through the night. I have no doubt about that. He is a man of his word. I am beginning to understand why the alpha’s avoided him as though he has the plague. If he dealt with them as he deals with me, he would have few friends. No one likes a bully. Rolling over, I come up short at the sight of a young maid standing there. The girl curtsies. “Good morning, miss. I’m Lila. I’ve brought your clothes, freshly pressed. The master is hoping you will join him for brea
Sold to the coldhearted beast 16: His sister in-law
*Tristan* The table is too blasted long, but even with the great distance separating us, I could see the joy light her eyes when her gaze fell on the jewelry. I can only imagine how bright they had been when she had first been given them. She would have not expected them. She seems not to expect anything. Mistresses are supposed to be demanding, by the Goddess. She should be demanding things from me. She shouldn’t make me urge her to accept things; she shouldn’t make me want to stop off at a jeweler’s to find a set of stones that more accurately resembles her eye color. The sapphires are close, but a shade too blue, a little lacking in violet. Amethyst perhaps. No, that would not have enough blue. Pity I do not have the power to create stones. I shake off the thought. What is this mooning about ? My carriage comes to a halt in front of Rafe House, my oldest brother’s pack house. After getting out, I march up the steps. I have not been here in some time. Still, I know my brother
Sold to the coldhearted beast 17: What’s in his room
*Everly* I wander through the corridors and rooms. Tristan could not possibly have meant that he intends to give me this residence. He must have meant that he would purchase a smaller one, maybe even a cottage somewhere. This place has been built to accommodate a large family … a pack, someone who entertains often. There are salons with crystal chandeliers, and I imagine the light from the candles flickering over dancers. The library contains numerous sitting areas and walls of books. Chairs and draperies are dark burgundy or hunter green. Everything is exquisite. No, he could not possibly intend to give me this place. What truly fascinates me is that every room contains a globe, or a picture of one. I stroll to the window of a small sitting room and gaze out on the luxurious gardens. I can well imagine the lady of the house doing the same thing, finding herself filled with peace and comfort. Closing my eyes, I fight not to open the nearby doors, step out, and keep walking throug
Sold to the coldhearted beast 18: Who else would do ?
*Tristan* The skies are overcast. As the carriage rumbled along, I watch the shadows weave in and out, dance over and around her as she gazes out the window. And blast it all if I do not find myself envious of their ability to touch her so lightly. She has rubbed her wrist … the one I had held with my powerful grip … a couple of times now, and it is all I can do not to take her hand, peel off her glove, and press a kiss to where I had felt her pulse thrumming earlier while apologizing. I do not know why I reacted as I had. The door to my bedchamber is locked. She would have not been able to enter anyway. My hold had tightened with the talk about beds and her in them. I had imagined her there, sprawled over the sheets, her loosened hair spread out around her. How long is it ? The braid she had worn last night only hinted at its length. I had almost laughed when she had given me the daring look and said that it is to her advantage to displease me. When was the last time I had laughed
Sold to the coldhearted beast 19: Madame Charlamaine
*Everly* The carriage comes to a stop. Thank God. “And we’re at the dressmaker’s. Let’s see about getting you some proper clothing”. He says. Proper clothing ? As though what I am wearing isn’t proper. But when I step into the shop, my irritation with him dims. I have been in shops before, but never a dressmaker’s. Two well-dressed ladies are at the counter, obviously making their purchases. Another elegant woman is sitting in a plush chair in a corner studying what appears to be drawings of patterns. A large woman bustles toward us. “Sir, how might I be of service ?” Tristan tugs on his waistcoat, as if it annoys him. “I wish to be attended to by the proprietor”. “I am she. Madame Charlamaine”. She purrs. “I expected a foreign accent”. He says. She smiles, her teeth straight and white, her lips as red as cherries. “I excel in providing my customers with the unexpected”. Tristan seems to be taking measure of her. I remember that he said he is a good judge of charact
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Sold to the coldhearted beast 66: Epilogue
Snow Moon Castle, WolfshireWinter 1864 Tonight is the night we were supposed to die. Instead, we will make love to our wives. But for now, in the late wintry afternoon, we sit upon our horses, at the top of the rise, looking down on Snow Moon Castle. The castle looms in the distance, its frost-covered stone walls shimmering as the sun begins to set. The frigid air bites at our cheeks, and our breaths create clouds of steam as we take in the sight before us. From our vantage point, we can see the remnants of the tower that had served as our prison so many years before. Stephan, with a determined look in his eyes, has been slowly tearing it down, his sledgehammer against one brick at a time. The once imposing structure is now a mere skeleton of its former self, a testament to the resilience and defiance that had brought us to this moment. "Difficult to believe it's been twenty years". Raphael says, his voice filled with disbelief and a hint of nostalgia. The years have left their m
Sold to the coldhearted beast 65: Wedding Night
*Everly* Tristan carries me up the steps. The door opens. Laurence bows his head slightly as we walk past. "Welcome home, my Beta, my lady”. My lady. I almost laugh. As Tristan begins climbing the stairs, I say. "Who would have thought the illegitimate daughter of an Alpha would one day be a lady ?" "You were a lady the moment you were born”. He says softly. "You once told me I was ruined the moment I was born”. I point out. He gives me a sheepish grin. "That was before I knew you. I was a foolish man then”. Not so foolish, I think. Cautious, rather. Not daring to care for anything that he might lose. He lost me once. He will never lose me again. The door to his bedchamber is open, and he sweeps me inside, kicking the door closed behind him. When he sets me on my feet, I knock aside his hat and run my fingers up into his hair. "Oh, I have missed this, missed you”. "Mary and her silly rules about respectability”. Bracketing his hands on either side of my face, he looks at me ser
Sold to the coldhearted beast 64: Wedding
*Tristan* Studying my reflection in the mirror, I tug on my light gray waistcoat. It takes an inordinate amount of time to dress these days. My hand has healed but the mobility in it isn't what it once was. Dr. Grimley set the bones together as best as he could. I'm grateful for that, at least. I haven't lost my hand completely, and I'm learning to write with my right. In retrospect, I suppose I could have told Grimmock from the outset that I was left-handed, so he would have broken the right, but I'm familiar enough with the man's torturous ways to know that a time would come when I would have signed anything the man put before me in order to stop the pain. And I would be damned before I gave the man anything that belonged to Eve or to Mick, for that matter. So damned I am. But not as much as Grimmock. During the three months since my rescue, I have found myself spending more time with my brothers, and I wonder why I had resisted being in their company for so long. Late into th
Sold to the coldhearted beast 63: Settling debt
*Tristan* The boxing room is more shadows than light, but then it usually is. Most of the light focuses on the ring where Alpha Ekro stands, as he keeps glancing around at the other men surrounding the roped-off area. I called the meeting, and invited Ekro into the ring. It seemed like he was going to decline the invitation until Mick ushers him in with a gentle prodding and the lifting of the rope. Splints keep my left hand immobile and it's far from being completely healed, but I can pack quite the punch with my right. I wonder if Ekro recognizes the significance of the group of men who are in attendance. If any of them realize why they have been singled out for this particular lesson. "Don't keep us in suspense, Tristan. What's the meaning of all this ?" Ekro asks. "Beta Rafe". I correct him. He looks at me with confusion. "Pardon ?" "Not Tristan, but Beta Tristan Rafe. That's how I should be addressed". He huffs lightly. "I didn't think you cared much for your heritage".
Sold to the coldhearted beast 62: I want to make you laugh
*Tristan* They come for me and take me back to the almost empty room, placing me in the chair at the table, securing me to it. This time Grimmock is sitting too, scrawling on the paper. "When I'm finished here, you will just sign it as best you can”. He says. "Then your hell will be over”. I doubt it. I have not gone mad with the binding. I simply pretend that they are Eve's arms, wrapped around me, holding me close, as she whispers words of encouragement. All will be well, everything will turn out fine. Lies. I can survive on lies. So could a boy. "Do you already forget that I write with my left hand?" I ask. "I don't forget anything. I did not forget how you blackmailed me”. He lifts his gaze and stares pointedly at me, with one eye closed and the other hard and accusing. "I did not forget how you turned my own lads against me. Even those who owed me coins stopped fearing me, thought you were keeping watch over them”. I won't go so far as to say that I was keeping watch over
Sold to the coldhearted beast 61: Some truths and some pain
*Everly* As I follow Manson down the hallway, with Raphael and Stephan behind me, I realize how differently I view this residence now. Once I considered it my home, but I understand now that it was my father who made it a home, not the walls, the portraits, the furniture or the decorative pieces, although there seem to be far less of those now. I wonder how many items Orley has sold to relieve his debts. When we walk into the library, Orley jumps out of his chair and hurries around his desk. “My Alpha, Beta Raphael, sirs, this is an unexpected surprise”. I can't help but notice how he ignored me. “You know Miss Everly, do you not ?” The Alpha asks. Orley's face turns mottled red. “Yes, of course”. “You would be remiss not to greet her as well”. Stephan says in a tone that is clearly a demand. He gives me a perfunctory nod. “Miss Everly”. “My Alpha. May I say that you are not looking well these days ?” He had lost weight, much like me after the death of my father. His skin ha
Sold to the coldhearted beast 60: Searching
*Everly* I think I should be hungry, especially as the dinner set before me is one of the finest I have ever seen, but everything tastes of nothing. I eat tiny bites because it makes things more palatable. "Is it not to your liking ?" Mary asks. "I can have Cook prepare something else”. I smile at her. "I have no appetite. That's all. You have been so kind”. They took me in the night I walked out on Tristan. I didn't know where else to go, but I learned early on that the Luna is an extremely compassionate sort. She held me while I wept and blubbered. She passed no judgments on Tristan except to say that I had been right to leave him. But if that's the case, why do I hurt so badly ? Why do I sit in my bedchamber and stare out the window at the residence across the way, hoping for a glimpse of Tristan ? Is he well ? Does he miss me at all ? Sometimes I consider returning to him, but I want so much more than he can give me. I yearn for the essentials that can't be purchased: love,
Sold to the coldhearted beast 59: A pest from the past
*Tristan* I am standing at the window of my apartment at the club, watching people coming and going, trying not to remember how much they had fascinated Eve. I find it impossible not to think of her. Everything reminds me of her. As I walk through my residence, I inhale her fragrance. I can no longer bear being there, not even for a moment. Every room holds a memory of her. It's equally difficult being here, at my club. When I box with Mick, I think of Evie enduring my lessons in the ring. When I look out over the gaming floor, I see it through her eyes. When I go to my office, I regret not showing her the globe that Tristan had carved for me, not telling her that I was afraid to be grateful for it. If I truly care for something, it will be stripped away. The best recourse is not to care. Then I will be immune to hurt. So why am I now in so much blasted pain ? Because I adore her, dammit. That's the reason I am in such agony now, why I am not seeing after my club, why I don'
Sold to the coldhearted beast 58: Left behind
*Tristan*I press my back to the vibrating door. I didn’t need my key because it's no longer locked. I should be familiar with the room by now, but it still takes me off guard. All my clothing is gone. Every torn shirt, waistcoat, jacket. Every pair of trousers. Every scrap of remaining neckcloth. Every discarded bit of attire that once offended me, threatened to suffocate me. Gone.Eve had gathered them up and taken them to the poor.The bare mattress upon which I once slept when the thought of sheets or blankets would make me break out in a sweat is no longer visible. It's covered by violet velveteen. The recently hung draperies are drawn aside to let in the night. Not a speck of dust is to be seen. The wooden floor is polished to a fine sheen.The room smells of beeswax and polish. The room smells of her.She has done this. She has chased back the demons. She has returned to me the magic of touch. She has helped me conquer the madness.I stride over to the window and gaze out when e
