CHAPTER 4

Ronan's POV

“Fenris.”

The name of my wolf burned in my mind as I desperately called out to him in my subconscious.

“Wake up.”

No answer.

“Fenris, answer me! Wake up!”

Silence.

The void within me yawned wider, a suffocating emptiness I’d grown used to over the years. I missed my wolf—his howls, our conversations, the sense of wholeness he brought. Shifting, running, and fully connecting with him felt like a distant dream.

For werewolves, the bond between human and wolf is sacred, two halves of a whole. The wolf fuels instincts and strength, while the human provides reason and control.

Losing a wolf is like losing a piece of your soul, leaving you hollow and on the brink of madness. Most who lose their wolves succumb to feral rage, despair or death. their lives shattered.

By all rights, I should have fallen long ago. Yet here I was, surviving as a shadow of myself.

I had all but given up on ever feeling Fenris’s presence again. But then, he emerged when I saw her. After that brief flicker of life I’d felt when I laid my eyes on Thalia, this silence felt unbearable.

I wanted him back now.

“Fenris, I know you’re there. Please, talk to me! Say something, anything!”

I shouted into the void, clenching my fists and trying my best to stay calm. The memory of Fenris’s howl when Thalia had been near tore through me like a cruel taunt. He had roared with a life I thought was long dead, even pushing at the edges of my consciousness to take control, only to just… disappear.

My chest heaved. No amount of fury, desperation, or healing had ever brought him back before. Hebathi had even said he had died, for goddess's sake.

“Fenris!” I roared, my voice raw with desperation. “I know you’re there! You have to be there! Wake up!”

I fell to my knees, fists pounding the edges of my subconscious as the silence clawed at my sanity.

“Do you have any idea what it’s been like without you? To walk this earth as a shell, to be nothing but this?” My voice broke, trembling with anguish.

“They call me the Rogue Sovereign now. I reign over the broken, the monsters, the damned. I’ve turned into something unrecognizable, Fenris—because you left me! You were my strength, my fire, my soul! And you abandoned me when I needed you most!”

My chest heaved, my breaths coming ragged as memories rushed through me.

“You owe me this. After everything, you owe me your voice. At least say something!”

The words tore from me like a howl, the silence that followed was deafening, suffocating.

My head dropped, trembling as I whispered one last plea.

“Don’t leave me here… not like this.”

Nothing.

I felt madness clawing at me, my breaths coming in short, ragged gasps. I could still smell Thalia's scent, faint but enough to mock me, to remind me of how she had been the key to the part of me I’d lost. I’d felt alive again for a fleeting moment, and now… now it was as though Fenris had never been there at all.

“Ronan!”

Hebathi’s voice roused me, grounding me in the present.

I blinked, realizing that while I was screaming my heart out inside my head, she was still standing there, her hands gripping my arms tightly.

Her eyes burned with concern, her lips moving, but I barely heard her over the whirlwind in my head.

“Ronan, look at me!”

Her voice rose, demanding my focus, and it had a soothing effect that managed to calm my roused state. I looked into her eyes, the vibrant, beautiful purple swirling like a magical storm cloud, and her expression softened as she studied me.

“What’s happening?” she asked.

“I…” My voice cracked, “He was there, Hebathi. Fenris… he was there.”

“I felt a small stir before it disappeared.” Hebathi nodded. “When did he stir?”

I opened my mouth, intending to say Thalia's name, when the words froze in my throat. Some primal instinct flared within me, screaming that her name wasn’t meant for Hebathi’s ears.

What?

It didn’t make any sense whatsoever. Hebathi had been my anchor and savior when I’d been teetering on the brink of madness. I trusted her with my life, so why couldn’t I say it? She deserved to know the truth.

“It… it was when I was surveying the slaves,” I said instead, the lie slipping out smoother than I expected. My chest tightened with guilt, but I forced myself to continue. “The ones the Alpha of Bloodstone brought as tribute. Fenris… he tried to take over. He howled, stronger than he’s been in years, but then—” I clenched my fists, my nails digging into my palms. “Then it was gone. Just… nothing.”

Hebathi’s eyes narrowed slightly as she processed my words, her fingers releasing my arms and falling to her sides.

She didn’t speak immediately, which only made the silence heavier.

Her sharp mind was always spinning, and I could tell she was analyzing every detail, trying to piece everything together.

“The Alpha’s tribute. Were there any unusual individuals among them? Anything… unique that could explain this?” she asked softly.

The elf had always been extremely intelligent, and I wasn’t surprised that she had come to this conclusion.

But why did I feel the urge to hide Thalia’s existence from her?

My mind flashed to Thalia again. She wasn’t just unique—she was an anomaly in my entire existence. But I kept my mouth shut, the instinct to protect her name outweighing everything else.

“I didn’t notice anything,” I lied again, the words scraping against my conscience. “It happened so fast. I didn’t have time to make sense of it.”

Hebathi stopped pacing, her purple eyes locked on me.

“You’re not telling me everything,” she whispered. “I’ve been by your side through all of this, Ronan. I’ve seen you at your worst, stood by you when no one else would. If there’s something you’re hiding, you need to tell me now.”

I flinched and started to panic.

Damn, she knew I was lying.

But I couldn’t deny that she was right.

She had been by my side. Without her, I wouldn’t have survived the spiral of madness after Fenris’s disappearance. She had pulled me back from the edge time and time again, helped me control these strange powers that had awakened within me, and helped me build this rogue pack from the ashes of my shattered life. She had earned my trust a thousand times over.

And yet… I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t bring myself to speak Thalia’s name, to connect her to the stirrings of my wolf.

The thought of saying it felt like exposing something sacred.

“I’m not hiding anything,” I said, forcing the lie out. “I just… I don’t have answers, Hebathi. I’m as lost as you are.”

Her gaze lingered on me for a long moment, searching for cracks in my facade.

Finally, she sighed and rubbed her temples. “Fine. If you don’t want to talk, I won’t force you. But this… whatever’s happening with Fenris, we need to figure it out. And soon.”