- you know what's crazy? – I questioned him. Drunk and with the bottle in hand – to imagine that while I cook a shitty dinner to save our relationship, you sell me because you can't take your bruised ego...
- I called and said I acted on the spur of the moment.... - he said interrupting me. - shut up. You sold me out, you made that decision without even talking to me, and now I'm going to... I'm going to do what no wife does, spend a night with her partner, because of course, you don't even realize how much weight this is going to have then, just look at the side that recovers your company and will be able to tell your friends... I can't believe we're talking about this. - I'll take the couch. - Do you think I'm an immature teenager like you? It doesn't matter if we're going to sleep as far away as possible, but sharing the bed. I told him going upstairs before we broached the subject again, deep down the alcohol made me question if I was happy to be under that mobster's lustful gaze again, if I really should care about what would happen next, since this one wasn't was one of Call's concerns, maybe I deserved it, deserved a night away from all the emotional weariness and repressed desires that inhabited me: - Why do you never accept the distance at bedtime? Call asked me as I walked towards the bed. - when you sleep away from your husband or wife, you lower the flag of trying to make it work. – She said in a low and frustrated way. - Leonor... - Call said placing his hand on my body. And for the first time it didn't do anything to me. - no... that's enough. Call Juice narrating: I couldn't look at Leonor without questioning myself about the unexpected decision I made, she was completely right, the reason that my immaturity and ambition blinded me from seeing before, had put her on the verge of losing her. And I would have to see the most empowered woman who makes me a man every day in the arms of another, who could be better than me, who could warm her up again. All day I questioned myself about the decision I had made, and I tortured myself feeling even more weight when I saw her coming down wearing a short red satin dress with a huge slit on the thigh, the neckline that highlighted her beautiful busts and the makeup that she had not withheld efforts. She was beautiful and perfect, she was provocative as if she didn't care what happened and wouldn't even try to repress it: -you look beautiful .... - he said furiously, with a consuming jealousy. - Dressed to save your business I would say. I'm late. – speechless and running away from me she left by the door, leaving me on the sofa asking me about alcohol. Leonor Juice narrating: I got into the limousine that was waiting for me in front of the house, feeling strong and confident, part of the way I had dressed up was exactly because I knew who I would meet, and another was to tease him, to tease Call who was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. , it was as if that was the only way I could ease the fury that was inside me, for feeling like the porcelain doll used to keep a company up. It was as if inside that limousine I was no longer the worried Leonor, I was no longer the married Leonor, but I felt like a completely different woman, safe and feeling good about myself, I pushed away with each glass of imported champagne the feeling of watching my marriage fall apart before my eyes, while at the same time dealing alone for someone who only fought for his business. We stopped in front of a luxurious restaurant, and the driver without saying a word opened the door, I got down with my heels and accompanied him, we walked inside the restaurant to the back part, where there was a staircase, going up I reached the dark ground floor: - Is here? – I asked but he didn't say anything to me, he just closed the door behind me. Walking with difficulty, I was walking in the dark sneakily and I felt a shiver of fear run through me, trying to visualize where exactly I was, until I saw a lighted table, there on the terrace with two chairs, and drinks on the table, sitting was Hard, the intimidating mobster. I timidly walked towards the table, surprised, it wasn't exactly what I expected: - I must admit that I was worried whether it would really come. – he told me as he filled my glass. Still in silence I walked and sat down in front of her. I couldn't look at him without being tortured by the memories I had with him in a warm, nostalgic moment. And now he was in front of me: - why did you think that? – I asked looking into his eyes. - it was just a guess, from a guy who is facing a wife who was sold. Sit down. Timidly, he couldn't exchange big words, he imagined he was there to give him the pleasure he needed to pay the company's bills. I just looked at him, feeling like a teenager, while I raised my glass of wine to my mouth, I liked the way he devoured me with his eyes from head to toe: - I don't need wine to do this... - I said, intimidating him with a look and seeing that he lifted the bottle to fill my glass. - Do what? – he said as if he froze with the bottle in his hands. - You asked for one night... sex? I'm under your rule, that's what you want isn't it? - I told him intrigued. - it amazes me to imagine what kind of guy went through your life for you to deduce that. - He told me laughing, and returning the bottle to the table. – I asked for your company one night, one night for us to sit down and talk, it was never about sex. It intrigues me more to know that they deduced this, and yet your husband handed you over like a prostitute to pay for his failure. - Hard was direct in his words, which made me uncomfortable at the same time that let me know that he had no intentions.Hard narrating: When my eyes found Leonor's body and sweetness, for the first time I discovered what it was like to be jealous of something. I was jealous of their relationship, I've always been a good judge and it wasn't difficult to judge her closed face of who was a frustrated woman, I questioned myself as I saw her leave through the door of the room, how someone left a woman like her frustrated. Even if my body wanted her in contact with it, naked, and my hands wanted to roam that perfect body, that was not my intention in proposing a night with her, but knowing the other ways that made her perfect. All I wanted was to be able to sit across from her and give her another kind of excitement, to be looked at and heard like she wasn't at home. As it is not for her husband. She was beautiful, low cut, and would be the type of woman who would put her up against the wall without measuring efforts, who would enjoy that night but the incredible thing is that she would manage t
Leonor juice narrating: Waking up in bed, I realized it was empty. Different from what I imagined, even after having spent a whole night awake, I didn't feel sleepy, and it was still nine in the morning. I went downstairs, Call wasn't home, neither was his bag of papers from the service, he had gone to work, even drunk, even without sleep, the messy sofa made me see that he had dozed off there for at least an hour, without giving a damn. the job of lying down next to me in bed, there was no coffee, no flowers, much less a note, it was our tradition, as if it were something that only belonged to us, but whenever we made a mistake, or we had a fight, to prepare coffee and a written note that had bothered us was the starting point of finding calm for a conversation. And oddly enough, it really worked, because whenever there was a note and a coffee we remembered how we respected and cared for each other in our relationship and Call came up with the idea of writing our feelings down
Leonor narrating: - I want my job back. - She said stopping in front of my former boss's desk. - What do you mean "you want your job back"? I'd resigned in the lull of Call's false support for my writing. He convinced me to drop everything, including a proposal to New York, saying I could be more focused on myself, which I thought at the time was a good idea, but he wanted me indoors full time to answer his calls. Being with Hard made me realize that it really could be better, but focused on what I like. And it's seeing people, movements, and writing any story, except waiting for inspiration in cold love: - You know I'll never tell you no, you're the best writer in this magazine. When do you want to start? - Now. Smiling, I stayed at my table again, breathing again the nauseating smell of the air freshener was calming, with my fingers on my old notebook, I realized that I wanted to be Leonor sitting in that chair and making plans to buy bags without seeing Call complain abo
Leonor narrating: Arriving home with my legs still shaking from what I had just discovered, I leaned behind the living room door, closing it, lowered my face looking to the floor, pressing my lips against each other and stayed silent for a few minutes, I walked putting my bag on the sofa I noticed that Call was sitting at the top of the stairs: - Hi how are you? I thought you were at the company. - Where were you? - he questioned me. - Well, I didn't want to talk about it like that anymore... I decided to go back to work at the magazine. I told Call without further ado, I knew I needed to get right to the point, that way it would be easier than saying my questionable motives earlier. - What do you mean back to the magazine? - he told me in a surprised and at the same time saddened voice, it was clear to see his desperate eyes. - The writing wasn't working out, I felt I needed to get out of that bubble of just being stuck inside the house waiting for things to work out. -S
Call juice narrating: - Call... Call... what's going on? We've just talked, spoken our feelings, and it's just going to disappear... Ignoring the way Leonor screamed, she knew she was making mistakes once again, spoiling what had been a new beginning, but the anger blinded me in the same intensity that it deafened me. He just leaves the bathroom, putting on some clothes and going down the stairs to get the car. I knew that somehow Hard was involved with these smuggling, my instinct was strong enough to doubt myself at that moment, as I drove at high speed to his apartment, I forced myself not to question myself anymore. Knowing that nothing had happened between him and Leonor, seeing him smiling at me again made me understand that I wasn't just weak, but made me feel that I was even stronger than him. What encouraged me to be right here, right now. Banging on his apartment door: - Open that damn thing.... - I shouted euphorically. - But what's going on here? it's eleven at
Leonor narrating: Sitting on the couch while questioning myself what had made Cal leave so desperate, I saw the hands of the clock run slowly as if time had stopped, while thoughts were arising I remembered the phrase he said, about how love must be worth more than any debt, I don't know if it was because that phrase came out of Hard's mouth, or because Call said it at a time when he was fragile to see his eyes calming down when he knew he hadn't lost me, which made him I felt wanted by him, but inspiration took shape, it was the first time in months that I really managed to think of something to write about, and whether it was just because I wanted the hours to pass, or because I was finding another face of love, the face of resurrecting him little by little. My fingers glided across the keyboard and made me drop silly smiles. As if time unlocked, the various written pages brought me a sense of peace, which intensified seeing Call pass through the door, heading towards her I hugge
Call Juice narrating: Arriving at an office without encountering Hard already generated a great feeling of peace, I entered my office and my cell phone rang insistently, picking it up I realized that it was a call from my father, which terrified me: - hi, dad... - I told him in a whisper tone, afraid of what he would say to me. -You tell me that the audio you sent me is just one of his stupid jokes? - He said in a rude tone. - You wouldn't be crazy to make that damn company that was the only thing I left in your responsibilities go bankrupt. She's the only thing you should take care of... - father can you calm down - I said keeping my voice calm. But deep down his words were going through my heart like stab wounds. - We had some problems with some of the partners, not everything is my fault, I'm trying to do my best, but there are still things that are beyond my control. - be at eleven o'clock at the restaurant where we always deal with business, I
Call juice narrating: Even at lunchtime when I was supposed to meet my father, I kept thinking about all the possibilities, why Hard had all those data, and the anger rose and suffocated me. I couldn't think about what I wanted to say to my father, I preferred to let things flow so maybe I wouldn't be fumbled with words. Something that happened when I was in front of my father. I couldn't feel like twenty-seven-year-old Call, I still felt like that irresponsible ten-year-old, scared of him screaming and talking about how he should be. It's as if, facing him, he was that same frightened boy again, afraid of one more scream: - Good afternoon, Dad. - I told him sitting in front of him, seeing that his face was more furious than he imagined. - Good afternoon? says how can something be good when your irresponsible son calls you first thing in the morning saying he failed? He should have been more rude to you, and perhaps he would have acquired some
Leonor narrating; With my legs still shaky, I walked, with each step, I felt in me the desire to escape from there, to run away, retracing the path back to Hard. On the balcony of the house, my body slipped, leaving me on the ground once again. The tears came down, with pain, with longing, my father was gone, and it was my fault, it was my fault for having believed in a love that only carries greed. I knew that money to Call's family is like quicksand, and no matter what they need to pull into the hole for support to always be out of the hole. In my hands contained the destruction of Call's family, if the secrets, if who they really are, were thrown in front of the fan, all the power they hold so dear would be gone. Not even all their money could clean up the mess that would tarnish the name of their companies. The problem is that everything around me will be pulled down, just as my father was, just as Hard can be. I had never imagined that the phrase love is blind, could be re
Hard narrating: To have her, to feel her, to see her there naked on the bed of a cold and moldy smelling apartment while my body shuddered in desire and fulfillment, she was the anchor that kept me standing, it was for her that I chose not to war anymore with mafias, I felt I didn't need anything else but her, not even power or money, for the first time in life, the warmth of a naked body and naive eyes full of pain were able to thaw the ice stone that I imagined I had in place of a heart, someone was able to make me shiver into something beyond hate, beyond pleasure. The silence was perfect beside her, even seeing the seepage stains on the ceiling above us, my hands passed around her waist, and her sweet smell mixed with alcohol, was the only one I wanted to feel during the rest of my lonely days: -Leonor... - I said, startled, watching her get out of bed and walk towards her clothes. -I have to go ... - Leonor answered me in a saddened tone of voice as she looked
Leonor narrating: Through the streets I walked feeling my legs trembling, the despair dominated me at each step, I couldn't accept everything, and I couldn't deal with Hard's death, not now. My eyes were closing and aimlessly I was begging for everything to be a lie, I was even begging for lightning to fall on my head, I was screaming inside even if my lips were only whispering, I didn't care if people saw me in that state and looked at me with total contempt, as if I were a drunk. From the moment I realized the farce I was forcing myself to believe, that Call's mask fell before my eyes, a whole life also fell apart, as if I no longer knew anything about my own life, everything was just pain, I could only see reality in my moments with Hard, and I hated myself for having left the certainties that inhabited me to recreate myself once again in lies. A whole life caring about people, taking care of them, maybe that's why I saw no problem in reinventing myself as many times as I ne
Trembling I held the cell phone still in my hands, I looked at the cars paralyzed, my mind questioning itself, not wanting to believe it: - how can you do this to me, are you crazy Leonor? Call's euphoric screams echoed, bringing a yearning to my stomach, to hear his voice, to feel the fear eating me up, the fear of the truth. Turning around, I looked into six eyes, feeling the ember of mine burning, I raised my hands, wanting to tell him something but I felt weak even to release the words, my legs bowed as I stared at him, with his pale face, reliving every moment he told me about how he did not want to be a father, feeling the weight of his silence the bitterness was eating me up: - It was important for me to talk to this man tonight Leonor.... - Call continued to shout. - How can I... How can I be such a fool, I can't believe it... It was so in front of my eyes... - I started to speak, still weak, but anger was taking over every part of me. - What are you saying Leono
-Leonor narrating: I sat there for about fifteen minutes waiting for Call to return, thinking about all the excuses I could give him and hating myself, hating myself for having become so good at lying about Hard, and now all that desire that had been so good to be consumed had turned into a brief nightmare, I started to feel disgusted with myself when I saw the frustration stamped in Call's eyes at the moment when he was being so thoughtful by bringing me to dinner, while all I do is lie to him: -So...is everything okay with your dad? - I asked him as I saw him walking back to the table in complete frustration. -My father? - he asked as if he didn't know what he was talking about. - My father of course... okay, he had a medical appointment, he's going to need some tests. -Do you want to talk about what my friend said? I don't want there to be any misunderstanding between us. Leonor, we are starting over, I can't start over if I keep distrusting you, if I keep
Call narrating: When he got home he was worried that he hadn't received any news from Leonor and was afraid that his mother might have said something to him. But she was sitting on the couch with a corner smile as if she was feeling light-hearted: -everything okay? - I asked her, still unsure. -Yes, everything is fine. My mother and I talked and she left, but at least a part of me feels that we are at peace now. That's good Leonor, I'm glad that you two have worked things out. What do you say we go out to dinner? Just the two of us at that restaurant you like. - I said, running my hands down your legs, wrapping a kiss around you and touching your body. - Okay, I'll put some clothes on. - She said in a more despondent tone than I expected. Leonor went upstairs to put on some clothes, I looked at her admiring her smile, thinking that everything between us was really in the same place, no Sandra, no Hard, just the two of us. Today's dinner is a great oppor
Leonor narrating: - Call... where's Call? Speaking in an altered voice I arrived at the office of Call looking obsessively for him, I could not stop my thoughts and kept imagining all the possible causes that would have led him to send that amount to my mother. For some reason of insecurity I believed that it was not one of the best : - Calm down Mrs. Leonor... - his secretary told me. - "Calm down Mrs. Leonor"? you're playing with my face, go after him now. - Hey Leonor calm down, I'm here ... what's going on? - Call said coming up behind me putting his hands on my shoulder. - Why is everyone asking you to stay calm today?- I said in a rude tone again. - Because you're completely euphoric and screaming. Let's go to my office and talk about it, okay? - Call said in a calm tone of voice and somehow calmed me down as his hands touched mine. If he was so peaceful it couldn't be anything bad. We entered his office, I sat down in his chair and felt my legs tremblin
Leonor narrating: With a breakfast tray and flowers by my side, I woke up in bed with a note from Call telling me how much he loved me and how willing he was to never lose me again, along with a fart of apology for going to work early. Looking at it all I smiled, running my hand over the perfectly clean sheet with the smell of fabric softener, inhaling the sweet smell of feeling at home, the pride for my home had returned, I just wanted to get out of bed and prepare an amazing lunch for my husband. It was as if peace reigned in me again, as if I was ready to start over. I went downstairs, and with the laptop open on the couch, I started looking for a new job, until I was interrupted by an email that caught my attention, Call had made a high transfer to my mother's account, sighing deep in a scare I got up from the couch running around the room, wondering why that transfer. Call narrating: As I walked through the doors of the company, I was determined to make t
Call narrating: Leonor went upstairs to take a shower while carefully preparing the foods she liked. When we started dating, it was a kind of relationship that had nothing cliché about it, that everything was insane and in the heat of the moment, we did crazy things when we decided on the spot as if we were living intensely, we looked at other couples and realized that we had something different, we loved each other and showed it in a way. I was dominated by insecurity, every time I came home and my father was drunk, he would laugh saying how foolish I was to believe in love, to believe that Leonor was the right person and that we would live forever together, He laughed saying that he would be sitting in his armchair waiting for the day that I would arrive heartbroken, and then I would understand exactly what a man he is, sitting beside him and grabbing a glass of whiskey to drown my sorrows for having fallen in love with a woman like Leonor. That night I was so frustrated th