Leonor narrating: What happened, in a way repressed me to go back to writing my book, as it also affected the magazine's. My head was torturing me about everything. I wanted to stay longer at work and organize everything that I had left behind in the last months, but I couldn't keep looking at Hard, I could see his eyes getting lost in tears when he talked about his mother, I felt terrible, I was confronting him and judging him once again thinking that I was the center of his world. I always judged him wrong, as if I didn't want to admit that there was no desire or obsession Hard had for me. I needed to do something to fix things with Call, so at eleven o'clock, I grabbed my things and left with everyone else going away, I pressed the elevator button while everyone hurried down the stairs to enjoy the weekend, I waited for a few minutes, thinking about how I could fix all this mistake. When the door opened a very beautiful girl in short clothes, with curves that made me envious
Leonor narrating: Hard walked through the doors, and when he saw me he smiled with a countenance of one who had been somewhat relieved to see a familiar face and walked over to me taking a seat beside me:- I'm glad I'm not the tired boss who drinks at two in the afternoon. - he told me in an ironic tone.- Yeah, well... not every day is such a good day to spend overa. - I told him uncomfortably, I don't know if it would go down well if we were seen drinking together at two in the afternoon.- There is no evil here, much less people we know. - Hard said in a funny tone, raising his hands. - Something's been bothering you since early in the morning, it's clear to see. Probably for you to have gotten dressed and be sitting here at the bar is a big confirmation. I know we met in a strange way, but that day we created a certain kind of friendship, it's been a long time since I talked to someone like that, so you can trust me if you want. Hard told me in a calm and unde
Hard narrating: I couldn't deny to myself that something had nagged at my chest after receiving the news about my father. No one wants to be a child at the age of fourteen, without a mother, surrounded by guilt, and traumas with scars all over his body. And the most incredible thing is that I felt a lot of anger towards him, a lot of anger when the cold hurt me in the middle of the street, but this anger ceased when the sun heated up again, I can't say that I hated him, because I didn't, I had my reasons for leaving home, and even if wrong, alcohol was the reason he had to manage to live with the absence of the woman who took care of him, it was the way he found to not admit the pain he felt to himself. Leonor was already glowing with the alcohol, I saw her standing up, curious but trusting me, grabbing a bottle of vodka I followed her out of the bar, and she followed me:- what are we going to do? - she asked me leaning against my side in front of the bike.- You'll have to
Leonor narrating: Standing there on that Mountain looking at all the vastness at the same time as Hard's Smile made everything even more complete, it was as if everything now made sense, a part of me began to thank that Call had made me leave home, thank that he had given me the opportunity to give myself away and I felt something, beyond just a frustrated woman. I couldn't deny the feelings that were being born inside me as I looked at Hard, I couldn't believe it was just an unconsumable desire, it was much more beyond, like I was beginning to wish I had someone who liked things as much as I did, he even knew the phrases in my magazine. I always imagined myself with Call on a Mountain, a bottle of wine or vodka, but he was never willing. But Hard is here at this moment turning the bottle beside me and shouting his feelings for whoever is down there to hear him echo, he is showing me the freedom to feel the wind hitting my face while Call locks the car windows on the highway, he m
Hard narrating: I was close, close enough feeling her gasping breath, feeling the way she was desperate fighting that feeling as much as I was, the way he stared at my mouth made my body turn on:- The sun is about to set," I told her, smiling, and pulled away. Not because I didn't want to kiss her, that was all I wanted at that moment, but I couldn't, that's not how I wanted to have her, not being a married woman.- you're right... - she said, also backing away ashamed. When everything you wish for is confirmed, it's a mixture of happiness and a frightening feeling. The sun was starting to come down, and the bottle of vodka was still half full, but I forced myself to stop drinking, I knew about my responsibility of having to drive, not that I was afraid, I wasn't afraid that something would happen to me, but I was afraid that something would happen to her:- Have you ever stopped to notice the way we always end up watching the sun rise or set? - I said smiling, look
Leonor narrating: When we got down in front of the bar again so I could get my car, my chest was spontaneously happy, the smile wouldn't leave my face, but being back in town, and knowing I would have to go back to my quiet life, took it away, which made me internally scream how much I didn't want that:- are you sure you're well enough to drive? -Hard said through the car window as I started the car.- I'm sure... stay calm. - I told him with a smile, feeling my mouth numb from the alcohol. Hard patted the car as a farewell and pressed his lips together, pulling away. - hey... wait. - I yelled back at him. - Thank you really for today, it was very good for me, I really needed this. - I told him. I could see the smile on Hard's face getting bigger, and this somehow made me feel good, for also having helped him this day. Getting my car, I started to drive following Hard through the rearview mirror riding his motorcycle, and as the distance was increasing and he was gettin
Leonor narrating: I was a completely Indefensible woman still propped up in the drunken doorway, listening to Call's words coming out as if he too felt weak at that moment, as if he too hated what he was saying:- why? - I spoke in a surprised and weak tone of voice in disbelief, as if he was making this up just to not give me what I was asking for.- When we started dating, and I told my parents about the engagement, my whole family judged it because of your family, because of your mother and the things she did. My father swore that our marriage would not last a month, but I knew it Leonor, I knew that our love was real, it was something intense, I could see it in your eyes, just as I could feel the love sucking all the desire I had to make it work...- And then you thought it would be a great idea to sign a damn contract without me knowing and spend five years without telling me anything at all? A damn contract where you risk everything you have, believing that the love
Leonor narrating: I got out of the car euphoric, not thinking exactly about what I wanted to do, I just felt a need to shout out my feelings as Hard had taught me. In front of my mother's house with a golf club in hand, I walked to the door and pushed as hard as I could until the handle opened. That scene made my rage rise even higher, and I just felt, without thinking, as if I were guided only by my anger losing control of my own impulses:- What do you think you're doing? - the man who was accompanying her said in an intimidating and angry tone, getting up from the sofa.- What do I think I'm doing? What do you think you are doing inside the house that also belongs to me? - he said, shouting and hitting a glass that was on the table with the bat, causing it to break on the floor. - The house that my father worked worlds to keep a roof over the head of the person I should call mother, only to have her betray him. - As the words came out of my mouth in screams, I would throw
Leonor narrating; With my legs still shaky, I walked, with each step, I felt in me the desire to escape from there, to run away, retracing the path back to Hard. On the balcony of the house, my body slipped, leaving me on the ground once again. The tears came down, with pain, with longing, my father was gone, and it was my fault, it was my fault for having believed in a love that only carries greed. I knew that money to Call's family is like quicksand, and no matter what they need to pull into the hole for support to always be out of the hole. In my hands contained the destruction of Call's family, if the secrets, if who they really are, were thrown in front of the fan, all the power they hold so dear would be gone. Not even all their money could clean up the mess that would tarnish the name of their companies. The problem is that everything around me will be pulled down, just as my father was, just as Hard can be. I had never imagined that the phrase love is blind, could be re
Hard narrating: To have her, to feel her, to see her there naked on the bed of a cold and moldy smelling apartment while my body shuddered in desire and fulfillment, she was the anchor that kept me standing, it was for her that I chose not to war anymore with mafias, I felt I didn't need anything else but her, not even power or money, for the first time in life, the warmth of a naked body and naive eyes full of pain were able to thaw the ice stone that I imagined I had in place of a heart, someone was able to make me shiver into something beyond hate, beyond pleasure. The silence was perfect beside her, even seeing the seepage stains on the ceiling above us, my hands passed around her waist, and her sweet smell mixed with alcohol, was the only one I wanted to feel during the rest of my lonely days: -Leonor... - I said, startled, watching her get out of bed and walk towards her clothes. -I have to go ... - Leonor answered me in a saddened tone of voice as she looked
Leonor narrating: Through the streets I walked feeling my legs trembling, the despair dominated me at each step, I couldn't accept everything, and I couldn't deal with Hard's death, not now. My eyes were closing and aimlessly I was begging for everything to be a lie, I was even begging for lightning to fall on my head, I was screaming inside even if my lips were only whispering, I didn't care if people saw me in that state and looked at me with total contempt, as if I were a drunk. From the moment I realized the farce I was forcing myself to believe, that Call's mask fell before my eyes, a whole life also fell apart, as if I no longer knew anything about my own life, everything was just pain, I could only see reality in my moments with Hard, and I hated myself for having left the certainties that inhabited me to recreate myself once again in lies. A whole life caring about people, taking care of them, maybe that's why I saw no problem in reinventing myself as many times as I ne
Trembling I held the cell phone still in my hands, I looked at the cars paralyzed, my mind questioning itself, not wanting to believe it: - how can you do this to me, are you crazy Leonor? Call's euphoric screams echoed, bringing a yearning to my stomach, to hear his voice, to feel the fear eating me up, the fear of the truth. Turning around, I looked into six eyes, feeling the ember of mine burning, I raised my hands, wanting to tell him something but I felt weak even to release the words, my legs bowed as I stared at him, with his pale face, reliving every moment he told me about how he did not want to be a father, feeling the weight of his silence the bitterness was eating me up: - It was important for me to talk to this man tonight Leonor.... - Call continued to shout. - How can I... How can I be such a fool, I can't believe it... It was so in front of my eyes... - I started to speak, still weak, but anger was taking over every part of me. - What are you saying Leono
-Leonor narrating: I sat there for about fifteen minutes waiting for Call to return, thinking about all the excuses I could give him and hating myself, hating myself for having become so good at lying about Hard, and now all that desire that had been so good to be consumed had turned into a brief nightmare, I started to feel disgusted with myself when I saw the frustration stamped in Call's eyes at the moment when he was being so thoughtful by bringing me to dinner, while all I do is lie to him: -So...is everything okay with your dad? - I asked him as I saw him walking back to the table in complete frustration. -My father? - he asked as if he didn't know what he was talking about. - My father of course... okay, he had a medical appointment, he's going to need some tests. -Do you want to talk about what my friend said? I don't want there to be any misunderstanding between us. Leonor, we are starting over, I can't start over if I keep distrusting you, if I keep
Call narrating: When he got home he was worried that he hadn't received any news from Leonor and was afraid that his mother might have said something to him. But she was sitting on the couch with a corner smile as if she was feeling light-hearted: -everything okay? - I asked her, still unsure. -Yes, everything is fine. My mother and I talked and she left, but at least a part of me feels that we are at peace now. That's good Leonor, I'm glad that you two have worked things out. What do you say we go out to dinner? Just the two of us at that restaurant you like. - I said, running my hands down your legs, wrapping a kiss around you and touching your body. - Okay, I'll put some clothes on. - She said in a more despondent tone than I expected. Leonor went upstairs to put on some clothes, I looked at her admiring her smile, thinking that everything between us was really in the same place, no Sandra, no Hard, just the two of us. Today's dinner is a great oppor
Leonor narrating: - Call... where's Call? Speaking in an altered voice I arrived at the office of Call looking obsessively for him, I could not stop my thoughts and kept imagining all the possible causes that would have led him to send that amount to my mother. For some reason of insecurity I believed that it was not one of the best : - Calm down Mrs. Leonor... - his secretary told me. - "Calm down Mrs. Leonor"? you're playing with my face, go after him now. - Hey Leonor calm down, I'm here ... what's going on? - Call said coming up behind me putting his hands on my shoulder. - Why is everyone asking you to stay calm today?- I said in a rude tone again. - Because you're completely euphoric and screaming. Let's go to my office and talk about it, okay? - Call said in a calm tone of voice and somehow calmed me down as his hands touched mine. If he was so peaceful it couldn't be anything bad. We entered his office, I sat down in his chair and felt my legs tremblin
Leonor narrating: With a breakfast tray and flowers by my side, I woke up in bed with a note from Call telling me how much he loved me and how willing he was to never lose me again, along with a fart of apology for going to work early. Looking at it all I smiled, running my hand over the perfectly clean sheet with the smell of fabric softener, inhaling the sweet smell of feeling at home, the pride for my home had returned, I just wanted to get out of bed and prepare an amazing lunch for my husband. It was as if peace reigned in me again, as if I was ready to start over. I went downstairs, and with the laptop open on the couch, I started looking for a new job, until I was interrupted by an email that caught my attention, Call had made a high transfer to my mother's account, sighing deep in a scare I got up from the couch running around the room, wondering why that transfer. Call narrating: As I walked through the doors of the company, I was determined to make t
Call narrating: Leonor went upstairs to take a shower while carefully preparing the foods she liked. When we started dating, it was a kind of relationship that had nothing cliché about it, that everything was insane and in the heat of the moment, we did crazy things when we decided on the spot as if we were living intensely, we looked at other couples and realized that we had something different, we loved each other and showed it in a way. I was dominated by insecurity, every time I came home and my father was drunk, he would laugh saying how foolish I was to believe in love, to believe that Leonor was the right person and that we would live forever together, He laughed saying that he would be sitting in his armchair waiting for the day that I would arrive heartbroken, and then I would understand exactly what a man he is, sitting beside him and grabbing a glass of whiskey to drown my sorrows for having fallen in love with a woman like Leonor. That night I was so frustrated th