Chapter 6: " One More Pain And I'll Give Up! "

Demonise POV:

“You’re innocent Demonise. Keep that to your beautiful mind.“ I mumbled to myself then started to walk downstairs. 

Even if my body was currently moving, my mind was filled with thoughts. Specially when my mind pictures out Fergus' whole.

“Silly me!“ I said to myself as I was poking my head to wake up from my erotic imaginations. 

I reached the living room and sat at the sofa near the center table. I opened the TV and watched Tom and Jerry.

“How come Tom isn’t tired after chasing Jerry for a hundreds of times?“ I asked myself. I didn’t know why but I’m jealous to Jerry. Tom always chased him but always end up getting in trouble.

“I wish I was Jerry…“ I whispered as I was insecure. 

“You want to be a rat?“ I almost jump out of the sofa because of shock. I moved my head and noticed that Fergus was already at my left side.

“Maybe…” I simply said and looked at his laptop that was in his right hand. “What’s that for?“ I asked and pointed the laptop. There  were papers on his other hand too.

“I’ll let you help me for a bit. The company needs me there but I said that I’m just going to bring this home.“ He said then put everything on the table in front of me. 

I stared at him and was hypnotized by his appearance. He’s wearing a grey plain sleeveless shirt, and a plain white shorts. At home, we usually wear clean slippers.

“What will I do then?“ I’m confused of what’s my asset here. I didn’t know anything about business and I am not as smart as he was. He sat beside me and opened his laptop.

“Just sit on the floor. I’ll instruct you.“ He seriously said and started to clicked the keyboard. I obeyed his orders and suit myself in his side but below him. I’m sitting on the floor while he’s on the sofa. I’m actually in his right side.

“Just review the documents on the table. Tell me if the proposal have good qualities.” He said while his eyes were still focused on the screen. 

I looked at the papers and was frustrated when I noticed that there were a lot of it.

“Can’t your employee review it? After all, you’re the CEO?“ I said and stared at the documents. Really? How can I finish this on time?

“I’m the boss, so I will be the one to organize my company. No more questions, start working.” I smirked at him while he’s eyes were just fixed in his laptop. I heard him chuckled but I didn’t bother to look again.

“You have no mercy.“ I whispered and I think he didn’t hear it because he didn’t react. 

I took one of the documents and started to read it. It’s about the upcoming new products of cars. Well, Fergus was a young business man in the country.

A fearful and dangerous one. He’s actually cold but he became successful by the used of his intelligence and physical features. 

He’s the man that every woman would adore. But knowing that someone already owns his heart, makes me feel sad.

“How was it?“ I stopped when I heard him talked. I took a glimpsed at him then replied. “I didn’t really get it. You know that I’m not used to these stuffs.“ I said.

“Just continue what you’re doing.“ After saying those words to me, he stared at his laptop again. Typing something that I didn’t even know. 

“I’m bored…” I murmured but I didn’t even heard a response. I snob at him then continue what I’m doing earlier. I was just reading the documents when I heard a wonderful song.

“Oh! The opening song is already starting!“ I exclaimed with excitement when I heard an anime song. This anime was and would my favorite movie ever.

“Just watch.“ I glanced at him when I heard him said it. “But how about the documents“ I asked trying to cut my attention to the song. “It will lose your focus.“ I added.

By just remaining his posture, he took something in his side and wear an eyeglasses. “Don’t mind me. Just don’t move from your position and watch whatever you like.“ 

I stared at him and find him cute while wearing a black glasses. He’s somewhat like a hot professor from a famous university. And I’ll be his obsess student for sure.

“Fix your eyes on the screen, not me.“ My cheeks burned up and embarrassment ate me. I didn’t bother to say anything and just focused myself on the movie.

I didn’t know how much hour did it consumed to finished the movie but I felt that my body wants to stay. Fergus was still busy typing and I didn’t even know what to do next.

“Ahmm…“ I wanted to catch his attention but he’s still busy with his work. I looked at the window at the back and realized that it was already evening. 

I was about to stand up when he suddenly put his left hand in my wrist.

“Where do you think you’re going?“ He then stared at me and his dark blue eyes started to explore every edge of me. I felt uncomfortable on the way he looked at me but I stayed silent.

“Are you tired?” He asked and stretched his hands while tilting his neck. “No.. It’s just that…“ I looked at the window again and glanced at him for awhile.

“Its already late. What time will you leave?“ I suddenly regretted what I said to him when he stared at me angrily. His eyebrows were on one line and his lips was a little bit displeased.

“You’ll going to kick your own husband in his own house?“ He sarcastically said and groaned. I didn’t say anything, instead, I sat back on the floor and reached the remote control.

“So you’re playing dumb here…“ He mumbled and took away the remote. I fixed my gaze at him and didn’t move. “Answer me woman!“ He said then locked his eyes at me.

I could see nameless emotions running in his dark tantalizing eyes. I slowly witnessed how his lips curved a smile and smirked. “Maybe you’re uncomfortable when I’m around?“

“I’m not!“ I automatically replied after what he said. I ‘am not and he better put that in his gorgeous mind. 

Tsk! But-----, Was my mouth speaking the truth? Or I was just telling what my mind said but not what my heart wants to convey?

“Really huh?“ I was alerted when he moved his head in my direction that caused my heart to beat rapidly. 

“D-don’t come near…“ I stuttered. I moved my body to my left side but was stopped by his left arm. I was about to escape using the other side but was locked once again. Now I’m being prisoned in his body. 

“What will you do this time? You’ll going to tease me again?“ I tried to be brave and meet his gaze. He locked me using his both arms, and was trapped at the middle of his legs.

“I just noticed that you’re slowly gaining some nerve to talk back at me. Is it because of your stupid fake boyfriend?“ I felt my hands were producing sweats. 

“It’s none of your business anyway!“ I talked back without thinking about being tortured by him again. I was immune and it’s not new to me anymore. At least I can talk for myself.

“Hmm? None of my business?“ He murmured. I froze and was afraid to move an inch when he moved his head even closer.

“You smell so nice honey…“ He whispered while his nose was now exploring my neck. I got goosebumps whenever his breath touches my skin.

“Your scent is so unique…“ He continued then my body stiffened when he slowly closed his arms on me. “I want to burry my face on your neck…“ He said then sniffed my hair.

My thoughts were still processing and I didn’t know how to handle this situation. My mind was now blank and all I could hear were his words and the beat of my heart. Thumping loudly and was getting messy inside my chest.

“D-don’t…“ I tried not to stutter but I failed. Instead of stopping, he caressed my hair and put the messy one’s at the back of my ear. 

“Why“ He asked.

“Why are you so weak when it comes to temptation?“ I looked at him in disbelief. How come he’s asking me this type of question when he was the one who’s cheating on me all these years?

“You’re the one who’s weak and arrogant.“ I stated it right onto his face. I thought he’s going to slap me or beat me, but instead, I saw him smiled. But this smile was more like a forced one.

“You know nothing Demonise. Don’t blame me when you’re not even in my shoe.” He said then slowly released me in his own built prison. “You better sleep now, I’ll continue with my work“ He added.

It was said formally as if our topic was just nothing to him. Am ‘I really that unimportant in his eyes? Was waiting for his love a waste? And lastly, do I need to stay by his side forever, when I knew that there’s someone better in his heart?

I stood up and moved backwards. I stared at him who’s now focusing on the screen of his laptop. 

“Then why?!“ I almost shouted trying to hold my anger at him. His attention was now all mine.

“Why do you make me feel that you have feelings for me? Why are you confusing my heart? Why are acting as if you care? When in fact, you’re not?“ 

Saying these questions that was hidden in my mind years ago, I couldn’t avoid my tears to flow.

“Sometimes you’re good to me, sometimes you’re sweet and clingy. Sometimes you’re kind of jealous and would brag me about someone. And lastly,------“ I locked my gaze at him and said.

“Majority of this last few years was like hell. You’ll come here twice a week but then you will ruin my purity and innocence. Why are you so heartless?!“ I took a deep breath while saying those questions.

Finally after three years of being treated like a pet, I had now the eagerness to speak up for my chaotic deliberations. 

I wiped my tears and stared at him once again. I see no expression at all. He’s face was all blank. I could not even read his mind.

“Are you done?“ I casted my glance to him because of incredulity. I cannot believe that for all the questions that I had asked, he would just going to tell me if I’m done blubbering. 

“If you’re done, then you can go upstairs and sleep.“ He simply said as if I’m just a piece of crap in his life. Well, he’s a fvcking bullshit! 

“You’re really a demon Fergus. Someday, my heart will be tired of loving you!“ I seriously said to him and I watched how he lifted his head to stare at me.

His eyes were so sharp that I want to run and hide, but this time, I wanted him to now that I’m not that weak anymore. I met his gaze and looked at him with full of confidence.

“And when that time comes, I’ll never stay with you again. And I’ll never come back if you suddenly realized that you love me too.“ I turned around and walked upstairs.

I waited for his voice to call me but I failed. He didn’t respond and didn’t even dare to stop and comfort me. I was in a mess right now. My heart was bleeding badly and my mind was in chaos.

If I had known that this would happen in the future, I wished I never said yes to this marriage. This arranged and painful marriage. 

If only I could turn back time, I would have married someone. Someone who loves me more than I love him.

“But even if it hurts, my heart still loves him…“ As I reached my room, the pain in my heart doubled. I locked the door and cry silently. I didn’t understand my fate. It was so unfair!

I walked near the bed and laid myself there. I wanted to sleep in order to forget everything just for a moment. But as I was about to close my eyes, a sudden flash of memories rewinded in my mind.

I seek for my phone in the small cabinet near my bed. I picked it up and turned it on. I caressed the screen on my phone as if it was him. 

My husband!

“Why are you hurting me like this?“ I stared at my current wallpaper. It’s him! Fergus! He’s wearing his college uniform with a genuine smile on his face. 

“Though you’re very bad to me, I hated myself because my heart can’t stop loving you.“ I stated and hugged my phone. Just this once, I want to imagine that he’s with me.

Just this once, I want to spoil myself in my dreams. Dreaming of him who loves me. Imagining that he cares and cherish me.

But the painful part is that, tomorrow, I’m going to wake up knowing that it’s just all a dream. And the reality is just so unfair and cruel.

“One more pain and I’ll give up.” I whispered before I was eaten by darkness.