Rake’s words washed over me and made me screw up my face because they weren’t what I wanted to hear. I wanted to hear reassurance that I shouldn’t even fear that Cazz would cheat. I wanted to hear that I was too strong, or too beautiful, or too valuable for that to happen.
But at the same time my stomach pinched because he hadn’t said that, I was also grateful because it meant he was telling me the truth.
The truth was that Cazz might betray me. And if he did… if he did, that was going to hurt more than anything I’d ever experienced, I thought. But even if he didn’t… it didn’t mean that we were coming out of this with a happy ever after.
That was sobering. And not reassuring at all. My heart quavered—then
~ CASIMIR ~I didn't leave Ghere and the servants until hours after dinner, and even when I was finally alone, I was left cursing under my breath because that fucking tension that had been raising my hackles since the moment I woke, didn't ease.I had spent the entire day edgy and frustrated, and I wasn’t even sure why. There were some tensions with the humans, a few scuffles between neighboring Alphas, but nothing significant. Nothing that warranted the tight muscles that made me want to roll my head to loosen my neck, and the itch between my shoulder blades.I had thought it was the constant presence of servants and calls for my attention and decision-making. It was the life of an Alpha. Particularly a King. And it wearied me at times.When I stepped out of the
~ JESSE ~It was an awful night.I’d tried to go to sleep early, but I had laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about Cazz. And in the middle of that, something woke up inside me. Like hope, at first. It turned my mind to the bond–could I feel him getting closer? Or was that just wishful thinking?He had kept himself closed to me, kept the bond dead for days. But every so often I’d get a sensation—like something slipped through without his permission. And for a moment my heart beat faster because it felt like he was coming closer.And then there was a flare of need. Desire. Want.He was horny.
~ JESSE ~ During my meal, the servant from my room returned looking pale to whisper to me that Maya had suggested that I should attend her in her rooms. I thanked her, then after I had finished breakfast—the first meal I had actually been able to taste in days—I asked one of the male guards to show me to Maya’s quarters. He looked startled, but bowed and led me into the tunnels. I’m not sure what I expected, but it wasn’t a twenty-five minute walk through the halls, deeper and deeper into the catacombs of the underground Palace. After the first ten minutes we were further underground than I had ever been, even when Cazz had taken me to the Den. But it wasn’t until we took a corner and there were long, deep shadow
~ JESSE ~I swallowed hard. She didn’t scare me in the sense that I knew I could outrun her—not how I usually felt with a wolf. But I was beginning to see why the servants had all been so nervous. She was the kind of person who looked at you, and it felt like she could see through your clothes and read your thoughts.And she wasn’t impressed by anything she found in either place.“Thank you for seeing me—” I started, trying to be polite. But she growled.“Girl, you sent for me as if I am a common wolf, submitted to your will. Even the King—your mate—does not do that.”
~ JESSE ~ The guard made a little whine in his throat, his eyes darting back and forth between us like he was uncertain who to listen to. But Maya ignored him. Her brows rose so high her forehead wrinkled even more. “So our Queen does have fangs.” I scowled, wishing I had a snappy comeback, but before I could come up with one, the older woman turned away from me and her expression softened. “You did well, Sven. Thank you. Return before the lunch hour. Our Queen will be ready to leave me by then, I’m certain,” she said with an amused huff. Sven—the guard—nodded and bo
~ JESSE ~“I can see that you grasp what true strength is,” Maya said carefully a moment later, but her face was still firm, still skeptical. “But knowledge and understanding are not the same thing.”“That’s why I need help. I know the pack functions in a hierarchy, but I don’t understand how it works. I know Cazz has been wounded and that’s why he lashes out, but I don’t understand why he chose me if I trigger that. I know wolves are having conversations in their minds all the time that I can’t hear, but I don’t understand how the packmind works… or if I can access it without that stupid drink.”Maya frowned. “All things your mate should have explained and helped you understand,” she grumbl
~ JESSE ~After getting a grasp on the bare skeleton of the hierarchy, there was the whole issue of the dominance challenge. I had thought a challenge was just a physical fight. One wolf fighting another for dominance based on strength. But I’d been wrong about that too.“A wolf’s sheer will can take dominance without so much as anyone snapping teeth,” Maya had sighed. “Your human way of seeing strength, of believing it is only brute force, is so narrow—”“No, we don’t see strength as only physical,” I had argued. “But I thought that wolves did. I thought this whole submission and dominance thing was won by fighting and whoever wi
~ JESSE ~ On the sixth day meeting with Maya, I returned to my chambers later than usual. Usually I left her before lunch, but we’d been making progress, so she’d had food brought to us there at her rooms. By the time I got back to the royal wing I was utterly exhausted, still slightly pissed at Maya, but also elated. She had insisted that we spend the entire morning working on my awareness of the packmind and ability to link. Then she had proceeded to spend hours poking at me, goading me, and venting her frustration when I didn’t make progress. At first I had despaired. It was the closest I had come to giving up since she started meeting with me. As if she knew that, she grew disdainful—and kept pressing. “Is this what you believe a Queen should be? Flinching and self-pitying? Or is it a ruse? I know there is strength within you. Do you pretend weakness to disarm an opponent? Is that how you work?” “Maya, you aren’t my opponent!” “Oh no? You fight the submission. You resist m