~ CASIMIR ~ There was a moment, a vision blooming in my mind of a different life—a different male. Given, peaceful, joyful… I could see myself as the mate and husband, the reluctant King. The delighted lover and mentor. Happy… and weak. Happy to be weak. Weak to her disapproval. Weak to the loss of her. Weak to her pain. I sucked in a sharp breath, fingers clawing into her hip, her legs, holding her tightly against my chest as if someone was about to rip her free. Then the terror rushed in on the back of the rest of that image: Me happy and weak, and failing. Impossible to lead the packs, to maintain my strength, to control anything if she held such power. Impossible. Utterly. Jesse made a small sound, as if she heard my thoughts, though I knew she couldn’t. Her arms tightened around my neck, her nose nuzzling under my jaw, and her body melted into mine. And then I heard them—the snarling and barking, the howls of distress and fury, the thuds and slams of heavy bodies in a last
~ JESSE ~ I woke the next morning and the first thing I was aware of was that parts of my body hurt. I opened my eyes, confused, then blinked and sat bolt upright. It took a moment to remember that the dark, masculine chamber was Cazz’s. I turned quickly, reaching out for the other side of the bed—but it was cold, the sheets and blankets undisturbed, and the pillowcase uncreased. A pang landed right in the pit of my stomach. When the door opened, I yanked the quilt up to my chest, but it was a female servant hustling in with her arms full of clothes. “Here you are, Sire,” she said, smiling, but keeping her eyes and chin low. “His Highness sent these for you. If you would like others, he’s instructed me to go get them for you.” She placed the bundle of clothes on the end of the bed, then folded her hands at her waist. “I’ll also bring your breakfast if you’ll tell me what you would prefer?” My head was spinning as I tried to remember everything that had happened the night before
~ JESSE ~With a soft growl, Rake turned and trotted back to the door, closing and locking it before he faced me again and started back, slower this time.“Jesse… talk to me,” he said quietly, soothingly. Like I was a scared little animal.“About what?” I laughed humorlessly.“What happened last night? I mean, I know what happened, but… how did it happen?”I blinked, frowning. “What do you mean, you know what happened?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.Rake turned his chin slightly away from me, but his eyes never left mine. “Cazz claimed you… didn’t he?”Relief rocked through me, and I nodded quickly to cover. “Yes. Yes, you’re right. He did. I just… I don’t understand exactly… exactly what happened. Or what it means.”“He didn’t tell you?”I was perilously close to tears, which I hated. This wasn’t how I lived! But something about Cazz had turned me into brittle glass. I felt like the wrong blow—even a soft one—would shatter me into too many pieces to ever hope to heal.I h
~ JESSE ~I huffed, pissed at myself because the threat of tears was back, just like that. Trying to take a grip on myself, I swallowed the pinch in my throat and shook my head. “It doesn’t matter.”“Of course it matters. You said you’re confused. That you think he’s left you—that seems unlikely to me. But… what happened? Perhaps it’s a difference between wolves and humans? Maybe I can shed some light?”“You already do, Rake,” I sighed and looked down at my lap, picking at the seam in the leather pants Cazz had sent for me.That should make me feel better, I realized. He’d been thinking about me needing clothes because I was in his room. That was a good sign, right?I turned my thoughts inward, towards that knot at the center of my chest. The piece of me that had been so open last night. So full of him until the end. I reached for it, stroking it’s surface, but recoiled.It was still cold.Dead.An emotionless wall.“I just… I don’t know what I did,” I breathed, cursing myself for the
~ JESSE ~ Cazz pounding into me. His teeth in my flesh. His words growled, his hands grasping. I flinched away from the memories that were so confusing. Rake was watching me intently, so I kept my face as blank as I could. “It wouldn’t have been bad—it wasn’t bad. But there was… it was just confusing. He… he told me that he had no choice but to claim me. That they’d tear me—or him—apart if he didn’t. But he was angry. Blaming me.” “Because you enticed the males.” “I didn’t know that I was doing that!” I snapped. “I was thinking about him. I didn’t know how the packmind worked—he never explained it. And he didn’t even warn me that he was going to connect me to it. When it happened it made him happy—he encouraged me! I just… I was flying blind!” Rake sighed. “I know. It’s okay, Jesse. I’m not blaming you. I just… he definitely marked you, right? Declared his claim on you?” “Yes,” I said emphatically. “And somehow… somehow the wounds from it are already healed.” Rake didn’t seem
~ JESSE ~Rake and I were both quiet for a time after that. I thought I understood what he meant, but I was still trying to wrap my head around Cazz somehow being afraid. I’d never seen that in him, and I wondered if Rake was trying to soothe me.It came back to me then, the way I’d seen it right at the beginning—that every person here was a wolf, and belonged to Cazz. That there was truly no one I could trust to be loyal to me over him.But at least Rake wasn’t compelled by him. I could trust that… couldn’t I?I didn’t know.At some point I got up from that rock and walked out to stand looking down the meadow at the trees and the sky, just to breathe the fresh air and stand in the light and… bask. Because I knew pretty soon we’d be back in the darkness of the tunnels, and my stomach quavered at the idea.Eventually, Rake walked slowly up behind me.“Jesse, we need to get back—” He put a hand on my shoulder, to turn me, intending to be gentle. But his fingers closed right over the pla
~ CASIMIR ~I sat on the throne, fuming, as two of the ancient alphas from the regions beyond the city argued in front of me about a territorial dispute.Both males were aggressive, bristling at each other, stifling growls, but unwilling to do more than bare teeth in front of me.They were still fit though they were both old enough for their hair to be mostly gray.Bringing the issue to me for judgment was better than tearing each other’s packs apart. But today of all days? Neither had been in the Palace last night. They were clueless as to what had happened, though they’d heard that I’d claimed my mate. And they approved.So generous of them…“…Sire, the river is an appropriate border—it makes things very clear so no wolves can claim they were unaware—”“And grows your reach without battle for it,” Aleric, the second alpha snarled. “Sire, you must see that we cannot simply allow a wolf to take what he has not earned. In my day—”“In your day I could take your throat for speaking out
~ CASIMIR ~By the time I backed him into the wall, he had both hands up in surrender, but his eyes hadn’t left mine, and he snarled through his teeth as well. I shoved him once, making his head clunk back against the cave wall.His body tensed, but he didn’t touch me, left both hands up at his shoulders. And never dropped his eyes.It was a challenge—one another King probably would have taken as a threat.“Submit,” I growled, letting my teeth snap on the t.“I haven’t fought you, Cazz.” His tone didn’t soften, however. And he still didn’t drop his eyes. “It’s my job to challenge you. And to advise. It’s what you instructed me to do. So here I am.”“Then give your challenge and your advice, and leave.” I shoved him back against the wall again and he grunted, but he didn’t fight.His eyes flashed with righteous anger that pissed me off even more.“You never touch her in anger again. Ever. You vowed you wouldn’t be your father—told me to press you to recognize when you were showing colo
~ CASIMIR ~I was pretty sure if I didn’t get inside her, I was going to eat her alive.Scooting with her in my lap, still straddling me, I got her so both my knees and her back were flat against the wall. Then I flipped open the wide, leather cuffs that had been secured directly to the wall and first lifted one of her hands, to strap it in so her hand was levered above her shoulder, but with her arm comfortably bent so she could relax. Then I did the same with her other hand on the other side.So I straddled the banana-seat, while she straddled me and her hands were secured to the wall behind her.Her breasts rose and fell with her heavy breathing, and her eyes were bright with desire.Overwhelmed again with how much thought she’d put into this, for a moment I just took her face in my hands and kissed her. But that drew us together—my cock pressing against her, and I couldn’t resist rolling my hips, teasing
~ CASIMIR ~“I made a new Den,” Jesse whispered, her hands over her mouth, staring up at me—those beautiful eyes wide, but also a little fearful. “I know it’s not the same, but I got Ghere to help me because he remembered what things you’d had before and… I hope you like it.”Like it? Was she serious?My heart was slamming against my ribs, and I was having trouble breathing.The room seemed smaller than I remembered because the walls were painted a dull black. But the tighter space than what I’d had down next to the Den just made it feel more intimate.There were two lamps, one on each end, and a chandelier high above. Candles everywhere, though she hadn’t lit mo
~ JESSE ~It was Cazz’s turn to plan the monthly date. But I was humming about this one. Things were finally ready, and impossibly, Ghere had helped me successfully pull off the surprise. But I still had to figure out how to get Cazz there without ruining it.He’d taken me out to the meadow again—my favorite date. Though we’d enjoyed several others now too—and we’d just finished eating. He was leaning back against the cab of the truck, looking out at the city lights, his brows a little heavy.“What are you thinking about?” I asked him, though I had a hunch.He had his arm around me and I was leaning on his shoulder. His hand trailed up and
~ CASIMIR ~I came out of the bathing room after a long bath rubbing my hair with a towel, to find my mate standing in the middle of the chamber with her arms folded and looking sternly at my daughter, who sat on the floor in nothing but a diaper, with her chubby legs straight out. She, too, had her arms folded and her lips pursed in the perfect reflection of her mother.The two glared at each other and half my heart went cold, while the other half wanted to splutter with laughter.“Abigail, I have told you—”“No!”Our daughter could only get her tongue around a few words so far, but
~ JESSE (a few weeks later) ~I had just finished nursing Abigail and was holding her on my lap while Reeca sat with me on the couch.Her eyes were bright and she was beginning to smile, so I was tickling her cheeks to see if I could get her to do it. But she was sleepy because she’d just eaten and only yawned and cooed.“She’s a very calm baby,” Reeca commented from the other end of the couch, smiling. She loved babies, and had been so helpful when I was tired—and just for reassurance for me.She was a calm presence in any room, and with Abigail, she showed a lot of delight and joy that she seemed to stifle in other areas of her life.“Reeca,” I said carefully, because I’d b
~ JESSE ~I was too tired to do more than lift my hands to his neck, so I just curled my face into his chest and let him settle us into the chair, cradled in his arms with my ass in his lap.When he’d sat, I had my head resting on his shoulder and my body curled in his arms.“Do you hurt?” he asked quickly.“No, just tired, like I said.”I felt him relax a little then and another chill started in my blood.“Cazz… what’s happened?” I asked quietly.He turned his head to meet my eyes and lifted his hand to comb hair back from my face. His throat bobbed, but his touch was g
~ JESSE (Hours later) ~My dreams were disturbing—my body in pain, screams of terror, darkness, the floor shaking, the mountain falling, humans fleeing and wolves…I tried to break free, tried desperately to open my eyes and to speak, because I knew I was asleep. But all I did was fade… in and out. The nightmares, or nothing.And through it all, his voice.“Heal… live.”My heart ached. My body hurt. My chest didn’t want to expand. It was as if my flesh fought his words, and I didn’t understand.But finally, the dreams faded and I could hear a heartbeat. Little, and quick. And feel warm flesh. And the breath of my m
~ CASIMIR ~I felt the moment the power went out of Jesse. The entire mountain felt it.I howled with triumph and shifted, sprinting towards the room, ecstatic when there was no sense of Maya gripping my mind or stealing anything from me. But of course, there was no power left for her to steal.I prayed and pleaded and ran, Rory and the others coming in my wake. And the moment I broke through that door in my wolf—the only power left to me anymore—everything slowed. Though my body whipped and my mind was singularly focused, it was as if everything happened in slow motion.I caught a bare glimpse of Jesse on the bed, and at first my heart leaped. She was moving, awake, aware,
~ JESSE ~Maya had me sitting up in the bed, curled forward, gripping my knees. Reeca on one side, helping prop me up, a guard on the other.My body was nothing but a conduit for pain. Wave after wave, my entire lower body condensing, contracting, pushing to get this baby out. I could barely think.Cazz was there, so quiet, so distant, but there, calling his encouragement and pushing love at me through the bond.There was a moment when I thought I wouldn’t make it, when I thought my body would give and I would just drift away.But then I caught Maya smiling. Leaning forward between my legs, reaching, grasping, for