3

A month has passed since the moment that divided my life into before and after. The day was inexorably approaching when the inspector would cross the threshold of our shelter, this event every day spoiled the already terrible character of Clarissa. The head was a very stingy woman, I suspect that most of the money allocated for the needs of the shelter settled precisely in her immense pockets. It must be said that in addition to state funds, Clarissa did not disdain the money of the gentlemen, who periodically appeared in our house. On such days, we were lined up like sheep at a fair, giving us the opportunity to evaluate the product by face. It terribly angered me, a couple of times I almost released the darkness from overwhelmed rage, I restrained myself only by a miracle. However, some of the girls did not share my feelings and purposely shot their eyes at the rich,

Why should a rich man marry a girl of ignoble birth? Ines asked one day, rubbing the kettles with sand, when the four of us were on duty in the kitchen.

- You're an idiot! Silva said. - You have no relatives, no one will intercede for you in case of anything. You will always know your place, and the rich love young ladies who owe them everything. For example, Mr. Murd, who came that week, does not have a title, and therefore he cannot marry a noble. Where else can he look for a wife?

- And you, I see, are well privy to the intricacies of the life of the rich. What, sycophancy is bearing fruit? I teased Silva. The girls giggled in unison.

- Are you jealous, gray mouse? Nothing good will shine for you, you will fly out of here like a cork after graduation and go to beg. Although, maybe they will take you to a brothel, you will spread your legs in front of all the rabble.

“Sylvia, dear, I am amazed at your knowledge of leg spreading.

- And what about love? Isn't it possible to marry someone for love? Ines asked at the same time as me, she categorically could not stand quarrels, especially with my participation, and tried in every possible way to stop them.

“You really are a fool,” Sylvia stated, and for the first time in my life I agreed with her. Excessive romance Ines infuriated.

"But she's pretty," said Magda. “Even if you don’t jump out to marry a bag of gold, in extreme cases you can try to warm the bed of some lord or even a dark one. They are greedy for crushes in love with them, especially if such a luxurious body is attached to falling in love. Their wives do not shine with beauty, and the dark ones do not live long at all.

Despite the greediness of the head, they taught us well. Not only the wisdom of life from the category: housekeeping and a hundred rules for the diligent wife of a noble gentleman, but also some sciences. True, the food was bad, and the clothes generally fell apart before our eyes, but we had a large library. It was this circumstance that kept me here, I think I could have escaped long ago. But where should I go?

The street was unbearably hot, in the morning the air was so hot that there was nothing to breathe. All the talk was only about the inspectors and, so that he would fall into the ground, dark. I didn’t even doubt that this darkest one would turn out to be a catcher, and maybe there would even be several of them.

That night, after the collapse of the roof of the barn, when I lay unconscious, I again had the ill-fated dream. I felt pain in my bare feet and biting blows of branches on my face, as if in reality, but this time something went wrong, the forest ended, and I fell out into a clearing that was flooded with moonlight. From a long run, there was a taste of blood in my mouth, there was almost no strength left, and I, emboldened, turned around to meet my enemy. Darkness swirled a few steps away from me, glossy black ribbons writhing and quivering like tentacles. She did save my life. Enough of my constant fear, I killed a man, what could be worse? I will not have a long and happy life, I will either go crazy or I will be roasted at the stake by the catchers. It's time to make friends with the dark part of yourself.

Before I had time to think of this bright thought, a hellish pain pierced my chest. Lowering my eyes, I saw dark tentacles piercing right through me. I choked on a silent scream. It felt like it went on for an eternity, the pain tore my body to pieces. The gallows and the bonfire didn't seem like such a bad option to me.

Finally, it was all over, and I collapsed to the ground, exhausted. It was very quiet, the body seemed to be numb, even blinking became difficult. The full moon shone in my face, tears rolled from my eyes, and I thought that I deserved this pain.

Since then, the darkness has lurked, even bouts of anger no longer provoked its appearance. But now I distinctly felt it in my chest, in the place where a normal person has a heart.

— Shall we go to the river today after lunch? It bakes unbearably,” Inez suggested, wiping her sweat-drenched forehead. Dark stains crept under the armpits of her simple gray dress, which was an exact copy of mine. But even this did not spoil her delicate beauty. Inez had long golden hair, fair skin and blue eyes. She seemed to have stepped out of the pages of novels, which she wiped to holes, since there were not so many of them in our library. And even the gray shabby dress, which looked like a shabby bag on me, only emphasized her fragile figure.

- Come on, but only for a short time, I still need to go to the library, I'm afraid Clarissa won't give us a minute of rest tomorrow. She’s gone completely berserk, I’ve already scrubbed the reading room three times this week, a little more and the floor will be wiped through,” I said, jumping down from the windowsill. We stood in the corridor waiting for the next lesson. Other girls from our class were spinning nearby, from time to time I caught mention of the dark out of the corner of my ear.

“I heard that the local newspaper wrote about the incident in the stables. Allegedly, the mayor himself allocated money that year for the construction of a new one. And in general, the orphanage should have been expanded, it seems like they want to make a closed school for girls here.

“Wow,” I drawled. “Now I understand why Clarissa vomits and thrashes. And what will happen to us?

"I don't know," Ines said thoughtfully. “Maybe they’ll fire her and put some handsome young manager in charge who will clean up the mess and—”

“Yeah, and she will definitely fall in love with one of the wards,” she interrupted her dreams mercilessly.

Mira, why are you so prickly? Inez correctly assessed my caustic tone.

“Because this is life, Inez, and this is no place for love. I was thrown out by my own parents right after I was born. Yes, and you too. Silva's mother was a whore, who, having become pregnant by the lord, hoped for lifelong maintenance, but after he gave her a turn from the gate, she first tried to get rid of an unnecessary child, and after failure gave birth and threw her here. Should I continue?

- Why are you like this? Tears welled up in her eyes, she sniffed a couple of times and, gathering her courage, lifted her chin. - I know all these stories, but I believe that in addition to dirt in the world there is a place for love. You have always been evil. If there is no hope in your black heart, then you have no right to clip my wings too! Maybe you envy me? I'm tired of your moralizing!

“When Silva and the singers tried to cut your face in the restroom, it was my anger and black heart that saved you, and not hope and love,” anger mixed with resentment boiled in me. That very state when you know that somewhere you are wrong, but you will never admit it. We stood silently facing each other.

“Everything is in its place,” the etiquette teacher interrupted my spiritual throwing. I turned around and headed to the classroom, but for the first time I didn’t sit down at the table with Ines and I, but retired to the back rows. I need time to consider her words. Do I have a black heart? You're right, friend.

After dinner, Inez, proudly lifting her chin, retired in an unknown direction. I chuckled to myself and shook my head. We've fought before, but we've always made up quickly. What to do now, when the closest person in this world considers you evil and envious?

- What? Is everything okay between the sweet couple? Silva chuckled.

“Be careful, otherwise you’ll choke on poison,” I shaved off the enemy and, passing by, clicked my teeth near her face. Silva twitched in fright, but immediately pulled herself together.

I, without waiting for an answer, moved to the river, sensibly judging that Ines would definitely not go there without me, and I would have time to think alone. To get to the river, it was necessary to overcome the shelter fence and a small forest. It can cost a lot to go there, but the only one who cared about our absence from the house was Clarissa. And she usually deigned to sleep after dinner, which was used by many girls.

There was not a cloud in the sky, and the midday sun mercilessly burned everything around. Anger was dizzy, and in addition to resentment at my friend, resentment was added to the fence, which I caught on, tearing my arm and the long-suffering hem of my dress. I arrived at the bathing place not in the best mood, in addition, having stumbled over a snag, I plowed the gently sloping shore with my knees and flopped into the water with a swing. My knee stung badly, another huge hole formed on the dress, wet hair covered my face with tows, I felt the impending hysteria, but tried hard to contain it.

Something strange was going on with my emotions, such simple, insignificant troubles had never pissed me off. But much worse things happened to me than these. Maybe the fact is that the darkness has not left my body for a long time? In confirmation of this, the hands at one moment turned black to the very elbows. But that was not all. In the river, I caught a glimpse of my reflection and squealed like crazy. The lips and veins around the eyes turned black. Now I really look like a monster.

My heart was pounding like crazy, I was shaking all over. Not far away, in the bushes, something crunched, from this sound my heart fell into my heels, and the hysteria about my appearance instantly lost all meaning. There is someone there, I felt it with my whole being, and if this someone sees me like this, I am finished.

Running away, I went under the water. Maybe they didn't notice me? I dived well, and I knew how to hold the air for a long time. But how long to wait? Suddenly they decide to swim? An eternity passed, my chest was unbearably hot, but I was afraid to emerge. Suddenly, someone grabbed me around the waist and jerked me up sharply. From surprise, I swallowed water and, in an attempt to escape, pulled us even deeper. For some time we fought under water, very soon I had practically no strength left, my chest was bursting with pain, and I gave up. An unknown person pulled me to the shore and threw me to the ground without any care.

"Are you completely crazy?" some guy yelled at me as I tried to cough up the water that I had swallowed through his own fault.

“You almost killed us, idiot.” He stood very close, leaning on his knees, breathing heavily. Wet hair clung to my face, I glanced at my hands, they were pale blue, quite normal for a near-drowned woman.

- Who are you? - I resolutely seized the initiative, I don’t like it when they drive me into a corner.

- I, uh ... Reiner, - the boy drawled somehow uncertainly. He clearly did not expect such a bold tone from me. Reiner was all kind of awkward, very tall, pale and thin, blond hair stuck to his head along with some kind of algae, faded blue eyes carefully scanned my body. She brushed her wet strands from her face and followed his gaze. A sharp sense of shame flooded my entire body, it seemed that I blushed to the roots of my hair. The lacing of the dress was completely torn, the undershirt was torn and moved down somewhere, and my bare chest was sticking out in the resulting neckline. I abruptly covered myself with my hand, Reiner blushed and turned away.

“Well, Reiner, you saved me from death and practically dishonored me with your look, now you simply have to marry me!” - I hated awkward moments and even more hated shame, so I was talking blatant nonsense. “Inez will be delighted, perhaps she will even write a book about us.

When Reiner turned around, I had already pulled off the lacing on my chest and was now wringing out my hair. It seems that he became even paler, his cheekbones sharpened, and from the expression on his face, I realized that he did not appreciate my humor.

"I can't get married," he answered firmly, and looked at his right hand. His fingers were decorated with numerous rings. And only now I realized that I was not talking to a mere mortal ... in addition to the rings, he was wearing inconspicuous clothes and boots made of Merian leather. In our library there was a whole book dedicated to products made from this extremely expensive material. For the cost of one boot, you could buy a small village with all its inhabitants. I couldn't laugh, and there was a deafening silence.

- Why? I whispered, trying to somehow smooth over the awkwardness and show politeness. Silva said that the rich love the humble. Maybe I should ask for forgiveness for my words and beg to let me go? A huge fine is imposed for insulting the noble, and for non-payment, you can thunder into prison. Clarissa will grind me to powder.

"I'm a Seeker," Reiner said clearly, looking into my eyes. These words literally crushed me to the ground. We don't start families. So you can tell Ines that there won't be a book.

“Sorry, I didn’t expect to meet someone noble here,” I murmured, lowering my eyes to the ground. Thoughts were swept by frightened birds. What is a catcher doing in our outback? Did the check arrive a few days early?

The numbness was gone from me, and I frantically tried to figure out what to do next. Did he understand that I'm black? How can I deal with it? The catcher, though skinny, but the strength in him is unmeasurable, I have already managed to check this.

So what were you doing in the water? he asked sternly, apparently sensing a change in my mood and feeling himself in charge again.

“Swim, ... lord,” she croaked with unruly lips. How to contact him? Lord, help! All the lessons of etiquette seemed to be erased from memory. My would-be assassin came close. I felt that my subservience gave him pleasure.

- What is your name? Doesn't look like a city. Where did you come from? Questions poured out of him. Very bad questions. I continued to drill the ground with my eyes.

Tired of waiting for an answer, Reiner lifted my face by his chin. I tensed up and clenched my fists, maybe right now he would discover my darkness. Wait. This requires a special artifact. How exactly does this happen? Lines from books flashed through my head, but nothing concrete was written there.

- Answer! the hunter ordered.

“My name is Mira,” I thought that there was no point in lying. There is only one place nearby, and he can easily check it. - I'm from a local shelter.

“Hmm…” some thoughts flashed through his mind and he smiled. For a brief moment, Lord Rayner even seemed likeable to me. But then the look of the catcher fell on my lips, and the smile quickly left his face. He staggered forward and immediately recoiled sharply. - You can go. Do you have to repeat everything twice? Get out of here!

In fact, I understood everything the first time, I just did not expect such a sharp transition from interrogation to freedom. Immediately rushed towards the shelter. I couldn't believe I got off so easy. Something's not right, it can't be that simple. On the other hand, I've had a really bad day and maybe I've exhausted all my bad luck for today?