JUNEStaring at the walls did nothing to calm me down. Most times, my thoughts will always drift back to my baby, who would have still been in my stomach had that incident not happened.I have refused to see anyone, opting to stay cooped in my room all day, only coming out when it was time to eat. Kristen, Mark, and Edith have been trying to help me out of my dark times, but I never wanted to crawl out of the abyss.I wish to be enveloped in the darkness, let it spread through my fingers and make me numb to the affairs of the world. But I know that won't be possible. Staying inside means my baby gets to die in vain.I rose from the bed and stepped into the bathroom. I don't understand why we suddenly have to change houses. From Broadmoor to Southeast Seattle. It was a change that came unannounced, but I feel like Kristen knows exactly what he's doing since he promised to take me out of the country, soon.I shaved, brushed my teeth and had my bath before I exited the bathroom to get dr
JUNEI had to wait until Kristen was engaged in a conversation with Mark before I approached Edith, who was hell-bent on helping us prepare dinner. Funny how I'm the one trying to approach her when she did the same before I got together with Kristen. “Are you going to stand by the door for eternity?” She turned to face me, smiling warmly. Against my better judgment, I found myself moving towards her. There is one thing about her smile that made me feel at home. “What's wrong? I doubt you will be here if you don't have anything you wish to ask me?” She stirred the pot on fire before she turned the gas off, and turned to face me, smiling like one who didn't have a care in the entire world. I cleared my throat, trying to think of how to start. “Can we sit for this?” I motioned towards the kitchen stools. She pursed her lips and nodded her head before a smile broke out once more. It was as if she didn't know how to make any other expression. She sat next to me, with her entire focu
KRISTENMoths are beautiful insects.I smiled as I watched them play around the street lamp, each one fighting to perch on the surface.I had left June with Edith in the kitchen. A great surprise how they weren't tearing at each other's throats. Well, I can confirm that June has grown a lot more these past weeks.That is what pain does...It delivers you into the cold hands of trauma, letting her print her trademarked symbol all over; then the pain comes back at you with a force that leaves you breathless, struggling to survive, struggling to breathe and carry out your daily tasks...After coming out—if you ever do—it would feel like you had scaled depressing years of understanding over Forty-three courses on the study of life.And just when you think you are finally gaining experience, you realize that you are yet to finish all the courses...It's a good thing Edith is downstairs to keep June company. I was already feeling choked, hence the need for me to rush upstairs to take fresh
KRISTEN"Thank you very much," I smiled at Edith who was clutching her bag on the front porch. "June looks a lot better.""Oh, it's nothing. She is just going through a difficult time and needs reassurance. She'll be fine.""I know she will," I closed the door a crack. "Have a lovely night...""You too."I almost ran up the stairs after locking the door behind me.The erection I had been hiding behind the entire time was becoming very painful. I took off my shirt, dumping it on the stairs before getting to my room where I was sure June was."You are very impatient," she laughed immediately after I stepped in. To my surprise, she hadn't taken off her clothes. "Come here."I walked to the window where she stood and hugged her from behind."I thought you wanted it..." I murmured behind her ear. "I thought you—""Yes, I do."I almost sighed. It's been so long since we had sex. I've been patiently waiting for her to initiate it because I knew she needed a lot of time to get back to herself
JUNEI know Edith was wishing well for me. Her advice was just simple. She wants me to leave the country, and stay away for like three years or more before I return. This way, the gossip would have dwindled. I might even change my looks and all that.But that isn't what I'm after. After all I did to get together with him, leaving unannounced won't help him at all, it will break his heart. He might not even forgive me when I return years later.Worse, he might have moved on from the heartbreak. What's to say that he will wait for my return? What guarantee is there in that?That was why I decided on what to do. Sacrificing my happiness for him means I've got to let go of one thing I love to do, well, that's when you exclude my uncle.Edith spoke of how difficult it was for him to pay my tuition, and I'm going to do something to help him out. I won't be a liability to him, not now. And freaking not ever. I won't let him regret taking this step with me. Having made the decision, I calle
KRISTENThis is not the plan I had. I never meant for any of this to happen.Why the fuck would she want a job?! I can provide for us both!I don't know for how long that will be, but I can hold us financially to a reasonable extent. I don't want her working!"Can I change your mind?" I asked, my heart getting heavier as time went by. I caressed her cheeks. "Can I do anything to revoke your decision?""No... nothing," June smiled softly, looking down, staring directly into my eyes. "I have already made up my mind... I will do it."I held her gaze. Who knew that love would cost so much? I don't regret admitting and displaying my love for her, I would never. But I feel like if I had kept my dick in my pants, maybe tried to be the adult, maybe her life wouldn't have been this bad.I never meant to hurt her. I will never hurt her."I can see the wheels turning in your head.""I can't stop thinking..." I looked at her with all the sadness making my heart heavy. "I am the cause of all thes
JUNEKristen never agreed to my plans, but it had already been decided. I'm not leaving the country. I'm staying here with him, fighting with him, fighting for him.He was so angry that he didn't speak to me last night. Even when he left this morning, he didn't even give me a peck on the cheek. But he made breakfast for me.A smile tugged at the side of my lips. Kristen might be angry with my decision, but he loves me so much to let me go hungry.I hurried had my bathe, and got dressed in a simple blue gown. I didn't bother with make-up and accessories. You can say I was just too tired to wear earrings.After I had my breakfast, I called Mark, who gave me the address of the first place he found for me. It's a Library not too far from Lakeridge Park. It was difficult for him to get a job for me at Rainier Beach Branch, but he did so with the help of his father.The pay isn't much, but it's something. At least I can start from there before I find another one, which Mark promised won't b
JUNEA beeping sound prompted me to open my eyes. I slowly peered at the ceiling, surprised to notice that I was indoors, not in the park. Hell, I was even expecting to find myself in hell because I know that's where I'm going.No deity will permit me to step into their Paradise. I was ready for it. Prepared to spend my years in hell.However, this place doesn't look like hell at all. There is no way in this green Earth that hell will turn out to have white ceilings and the unpleasant smell of disinfectant.What happened?How did I get to be here?I tried to sit up on the bed, but the pain that went through me caused me to lie back.Fucking hell. Not again. Is this how it's going to be?Each time I lose consciousness, I end up in the hospital with my body feeling like shit.“Oh, my! She's awake!” I heard a woman yell before the sounds of footsteps reached my ears.A young black woman came into focus, smiling kindly at me. Her golden brown skin and beautiful brown eyes made her look l