History is really just... a mirage to me now. Something to be fond of. Something I have forgotten about. Because with every minute I spend with Florian, a part of my life is altered forever. A part of my life is completely lost and replaced with a chip of the woman I become in his arms.Now we are here, kissing in the rain, the water running down our bodies, the heat in our tongues, the vulnerability peeking in. Of course, I knew there was something more, but I was slowly starting to not care. I was slowly starting to only be able to look at this man in front of me. His hand ran down to my waist, and he pulled me closer into him. His heart thumped against mine, and I wrapped my hands around him, leaning up to really feel all of him. We said nothing to each other, trusting those kisses to do all of the communication for us. Even as we sat in the same tiny room that we had all those years ago, his fingers intertwined in mine, his chest heaving hard, our history together completely ch
ROXANNE'S P.O.V It felt like the wind was knocked right out of my lungs. Ronan? Ronan was a little bitch but... I slowly looked up to Florian.Florian wouldn't lie to me, especially right now. Florian wouldn't make things up right now, and he definitely wouldn't do so much for an anger that wasn't justified."What's that look?" He asked, laughing slightly. "Why would you be surprised? I told you she was dead the other day.""I...""You guarded your heart a little too hard again, didn't you?" He gave a small pause, his brows raised. "You... we both know you asked now only because you still want to guard your heart. That's why you forgot that she wasn't even living competition. That's why everything passes for you like these rain clouds. Because you keep guarding your heart a little too hard. A little too selfishly, Roxanne.""Florian..""What are you going to say to me?" He asked, his voice breaking. I never thought I would see Florian reach this point, and fuck, it scared me. "That
The ride home was quiet, but at least Florian let me hold until his hand tight. I watched his profile, my eyes blurred with tears. I hated myself for pushing him to this point. I hated myself for the blood I carried in my veins. I hated the time I wasted without letting myself go for someone who I knew would absolutely do it for me.We finally got home, and Florian went out, then came around and opened the door for me. His eyes held mine for a long minute before he turned away, closing the car door, before he walked away.I stopped by the door, watching his back as he made his way up the stairs, letting go of the cat keys on one of the stairs and never even looking back.I blinked, my face dropping, the emotions heavy on my heart. I slowly followed him, wondering if he would still come to my room tonight, like he always did. I wouldn't even want him to. I wanted him to be selfish and not spend the night in the arms of the person who reminds him of everything he keeps trying to run aw
I gently ran my fingers through Florian's hair, my eyes fixed on his sleeping frame. He was wearing a robe around him, his head resting on my lap, his lips slightly parted. His body was burning up, but he preferred having me sit right here than be Iver him, trying to bring down his temperature with a cold towel.I leaned, my eyes darting across both of his closed ones. He was slightly reddish, and against his layer judgement, I gently moved his sleeping frame, then got out of bed.I walked to the restroom and grabbed a small towel and his first aid kit. I dampened the towel, squeezed the excess water off, and then walked back to the room. Luckily for me, he wasn't awake, and I sat next to him, keeping the towel and the first aid box away.I gently loosened the knot of his robe, then pulled it down to his waist, leaving him shirtless upwards. I then slowly brought the damp towel to his body.The first I pressed it unto him, he gave a small shiver, but then slowly fell back asleep, his
"I am sorry," I said to Florian, reaching to cup his face. "I wanted to make something for you."He nodded slowly. "So why are you fighting with a maid? You can just have her escorted out."I bit down on my lips. "I am sorry. I let my jealousy take over for a minute."He didn't reply but raised his eyes to the maid that was still standing behind us. I turned to her too, my eyes wide, my chest heaving hard as I watched her."You heard me the first time. Leave.""Sir, please. I beg of you. I was simply cooking porridge for you and...""Don't let me repeat myself, Savannah. Please leave."Florian turned to me. "Be careful."I nodded, and he started to turn away from both of us. "You know I can love you better, sir," came Savannah's strained voice, her breaths so loud that it made her voice sound a little muffled. "You know I would never remind you of the things you want to forget. You know I would never be selfish. You know I would never ever huet you. You know that, sir."Florian turn
I watched the sun as it set, while Florian lay in my lap, his body spread on the bed, his bare back tinted a warm light brown by the sun, his hair sprawled all over me. I had my fingers buried in his hair and my other hand running down his back.His fever had gone down after a few pills, and it seemed to have knocked him out. I leaned, kissing the top of his back, before I leaned away, just as a familiar ding reached my ears.I turned, and his phone that was sitting on the bedside drawer to my right was lit up, most probably with a message.I swallowed hard, looking down at him. I wasn't sure if he would have let me read the message had he been awake, but morbid curiosity haunted my mind, and I found myself reaching for the phone.I stopped, however, my chest heaving. Knowing how heavily involved with my family Florian was, there was a very good chance that it would be about them. I am not sure I want to ruin this evening with them. I am not sure I want to ruin this day by discovering
ROXANNE'S P.O.V.It was the first quiet time I was getting in what seemed like two weeks. Since the wedding preparations reached a peak, I have had friends, cousins, relatives over, and even at this time of the night, we would be attending to one detail or another, fixing things and making sure everything would be perfect.Now the wedding is tomorrow, and I am standing here, watching my dress, my heart feeling light. I could see everything spiral in front of me.The first time Damien had asked me out. It was seven years ago, and we were both just starting college. I didn't take him seriously because then, I had just started fixing up on myself.I had just taken off my braces and had lost the glasses and switched them for contacts. I was taking care of my skin, and I had shorter, better styled hair now. I was slowly growing into the woman I was now, and I didn't think someone who knew the chubby girl from high school would ever want me, even with the changes.He apparently did, and the
ROXANNE'S P.O.V The drive was a full hour, and I checked my time before getting out of the car. Twenty-eight minutes past ten. I swallowed hard, then got out, my chest heaving. The place was lit up, and I could see a neon sign above the place.Dirty Dreams followed by the illustration of a pole dancer. I bit down on my lips before I slowly walked to the entrance. "ID," said one of the guards at the door. I sighed and turned to him. "I just need to check something inside.""You can't enter without an ID."I nodded. "Can I enter with a police man?"His brows furrowed, and he turned to the other. "I am turning twenty-six soon, and even if I wasn't, I am not here for any of the business that apparently goes on here."They went silent for a long minute before they finally opened the door for me and let me in. I slowly walked into the place. The music was loud, and the place was dim, but from the blue and red lights, I could see some scantily dressed women pole dancing on stage, with me
I watched the sun as it set, while Florian lay in my lap, his body spread on the bed, his bare back tinted a warm light brown by the sun, his hair sprawled all over me. I had my fingers buried in his hair and my other hand running down his back.His fever had gone down after a few pills, and it seemed to have knocked him out. I leaned, kissing the top of his back, before I leaned away, just as a familiar ding reached my ears.I turned, and his phone that was sitting on the bedside drawer to my right was lit up, most probably with a message.I swallowed hard, looking down at him. I wasn't sure if he would have let me read the message had he been awake, but morbid curiosity haunted my mind, and I found myself reaching for the phone.I stopped, however, my chest heaving. Knowing how heavily involved with my family Florian was, there was a very good chance that it would be about them. I am not sure I want to ruin this evening with them. I am not sure I want to ruin this day by discovering
"I am sorry," I said to Florian, reaching to cup his face. "I wanted to make something for you."He nodded slowly. "So why are you fighting with a maid? You can just have her escorted out."I bit down on my lips. "I am sorry. I let my jealousy take over for a minute."He didn't reply but raised his eyes to the maid that was still standing behind us. I turned to her too, my eyes wide, my chest heaving hard as I watched her."You heard me the first time. Leave.""Sir, please. I beg of you. I was simply cooking porridge for you and...""Don't let me repeat myself, Savannah. Please leave."Florian turned to me. "Be careful."I nodded, and he started to turn away from both of us. "You know I can love you better, sir," came Savannah's strained voice, her breaths so loud that it made her voice sound a little muffled. "You know I would never remind you of the things you want to forget. You know I would never be selfish. You know I would never ever huet you. You know that, sir."Florian turn
I gently ran my fingers through Florian's hair, my eyes fixed on his sleeping frame. He was wearing a robe around him, his head resting on my lap, his lips slightly parted. His body was burning up, but he preferred having me sit right here than be Iver him, trying to bring down his temperature with a cold towel.I leaned, my eyes darting across both of his closed ones. He was slightly reddish, and against his layer judgement, I gently moved his sleeping frame, then got out of bed.I walked to the restroom and grabbed a small towel and his first aid kit. I dampened the towel, squeezed the excess water off, and then walked back to the room. Luckily for me, he wasn't awake, and I sat next to him, keeping the towel and the first aid box away.I gently loosened the knot of his robe, then pulled it down to his waist, leaving him shirtless upwards. I then slowly brought the damp towel to his body.The first I pressed it unto him, he gave a small shiver, but then slowly fell back asleep, his
The ride home was quiet, but at least Florian let me hold until his hand tight. I watched his profile, my eyes blurred with tears. I hated myself for pushing him to this point. I hated myself for the blood I carried in my veins. I hated the time I wasted without letting myself go for someone who I knew would absolutely do it for me.We finally got home, and Florian went out, then came around and opened the door for me. His eyes held mine for a long minute before he turned away, closing the car door, before he walked away.I stopped by the door, watching his back as he made his way up the stairs, letting go of the cat keys on one of the stairs and never even looking back.I blinked, my face dropping, the emotions heavy on my heart. I slowly followed him, wondering if he would still come to my room tonight, like he always did. I wouldn't even want him to. I wanted him to be selfish and not spend the night in the arms of the person who reminds him of everything he keeps trying to run aw
ROXANNE'S P.O.V It felt like the wind was knocked right out of my lungs. Ronan? Ronan was a little bitch but... I slowly looked up to Florian.Florian wouldn't lie to me, especially right now. Florian wouldn't make things up right now, and he definitely wouldn't do so much for an anger that wasn't justified."What's that look?" He asked, laughing slightly. "Why would you be surprised? I told you she was dead the other day.""I...""You guarded your heart a little too hard again, didn't you?" He gave a small pause, his brows raised. "You... we both know you asked now only because you still want to guard your heart. That's why you forgot that she wasn't even living competition. That's why everything passes for you like these rain clouds. Because you keep guarding your heart a little too hard. A little too selfishly, Roxanne.""Florian..""What are you going to say to me?" He asked, his voice breaking. I never thought I would see Florian reach this point, and fuck, it scared me. "That
History is really just... a mirage to me now. Something to be fond of. Something I have forgotten about. Because with every minute I spend with Florian, a part of my life is altered forever. A part of my life is completely lost and replaced with a chip of the woman I become in his arms.Now we are here, kissing in the rain, the water running down our bodies, the heat in our tongues, the vulnerability peeking in. Of course, I knew there was something more, but I was slowly starting to not care. I was slowly starting to only be able to look at this man in front of me. His hand ran down to my waist, and he pulled me closer into him. His heart thumped against mine, and I wrapped my hands around him, leaning up to really feel all of him. We said nothing to each other, trusting those kisses to do all of the communication for us. Even as we sat in the same tiny room that we had all those years ago, his fingers intertwined in mine, his chest heaving hard, our history together completely ch
ROXANNE'S P.O.V He was hurting my hand. He had his eyes on me. And even though they didn't look malicious or anything, I could tell that he knew it. His eyes were solemn, almost teary, and he suddenly turned away, just as I started to slow down. The building I had been driving to coming into slow view.His grip on my hand loosened, and he gently brought my hand to his lips and placed a soft kiss right on the tiny dent that his grip had left. He didn't lean away immediately and just sort of buried his face on my hand, his breaths shaky.I brought the car to a stop and turned to him, my chest full with emotions that I didn't describe. I pushed my fingers through his hair, and he let out a shaky breath, his fingers holding mine even tighter.He finally leaned away, his eyes closed, and he turned away from me."Don't you trust me enough, Florian?"He chuckled and shook his head. "I am just having one of those days, princess."I let out a sigh, then nodded. "Hopefully, this makes you feel
The bouquet sat in front of the dresser, with Florian sitting in front of it, his eyes fixed on the mirror, his shoulder slightly slumped. I stood behind him, gently brushing his hair, my fingers passing through the beautiful silky strands. His phone had been ringing for the past five minutes, but he didn't even look at it, just sat there, watching his own reflection.I leaned to him and placed a small kiss on his forehead. "You are good to go now."He let out a small sigh. "Thank you. And for the flowers too."I shook my head, my eyes still slightly filled with worry as the flashback of his tears filled my mind. "It is perfectly fine. I will go get ready."He nodded without saying anything, and I turned around and started to walk to the door. I stopped for a minute and turned. Florian was still watching the mirror, his eyes thin, his chest slightly heaving.I bit down on my lower lip, then slowly let go of the door knob. "Florian?"He turned to me, his brow slightly raised. "Yes?"
ROXANNE'S P.O.V I rested my head on the glass, my eyes watching the city as we drove past it all. My mind was occupied with Florian, and not exactly necessarily just because of the tremble in my knees, but also because of everything else.He was trying his best to look strong in the last few minutes of my stay there, but his eyes slightly betrayed him. I could see a small dent in his rather cool exterior. A small dent in his cold armour. I gave a small sigh as we came to a traffic stop. I turned, and my eyes suddenly fell on a flower shop. "Boys don't need flowers," I had said ten years ago, that valentine when I had turned sixteen. "What guy would want flowers from a girl?""It isn't a bad gift," Florian had said, watching me. I could remember avoiding his gaze then because we had just had a heated argument about some stupid thing that I can't remember now. "It would depend on the person behind the bouquet."I swallowed hard, my eyes settling on the flower shop. I hadn't brough