Chapter Two

Silhouette Two

I had never left my hometown. I had never had any reason to; after all there was everything I would ever need in it. A college, where I had gotten my degree, and a family business I had hoped to take control of one day. But things changed. And I didn’t know whether that change was going to become for the worst or for the better.

A few weeks ago, if you had told me that I would be leaving Youngstown to go to Seattle, I would have probably scoffed in your face. My entire life had been in my hometown. I was born there, I had gone to college there, and I was even sure u would marry there and have kids as well. I knew I was going to bring up all of my kids in that safe environment, and I never envisaged leaving it for more than two weeks or so.

But now here I was, at the airport, preparing to embark on a journey that was either going to make me run with my tail tucked between my legs, or come back and prove to my father that I was strong.

He had not spared me a glance when I had announced to him that I was leaving. Honestly, I was expecting that. But it hurt when he looked me in the eye and told me he was waiting for me to come back when I failed. I had almost stayed right there. I mean, I was doing all this for him. 

I shivered and willed myself to stop thinking about my dad. It was hard when you were making such a drastic change with no one by your side. I had been alone all my life, making friends was not easy in a small town where there was so much stigma against your father. I was used to. But it got so lonely. 

I was standing there, all alone. At least my luggage would keep me company.

I tried not to let it get to me too bad. Like I said I was used to. So what was the need lamenting over a situation that I had been in literally all my life? Besides, I was going to a strange place. I needed to feel all the cheer I could right now. And thinking about my dad and how much I would have loved for him to be here was doing nothing for my morale. So I went over to one of the benches, sat there and daydreamed some more of a Prince Charming I knew would never exist.

It was nice to pretend sometimes.

***

I had finally reached. In spite of my numerous fears, nothing had happened. In four hours, the plane had landed safely. I had not even thrown up or experienced any discomfort. It definitely was a weird feeling being on a plane for the first time though.

All I was glad about was the fact I had arrived safely. Now it was time to navigate through this city. It was nothing like I had ever experienced. Youngstown was not necessarily small. But it was big to this scale either. And I knew that if I tried to move around like I knew shit, I was going to end up lost or maybe even kidnapped.

So I called Sandra. She wasted no time in speaking. Hearing her voice, having some kind of familiarity right now in this strange place felt really good. 

“Hey love,” she said. 

I smiled when I heard her voice. Just like me, Sandra was born in Youngstown, but unlike me, she had never loved the town. She had left it as soon as we were done with high schoolZ but we had kept in touch and had remained close throughout the years.

She was that type that exuded glamour and elegance, unlike me who was so awkward. It was no doubt she had made a name for herself in Seattle. I was proud of her and I wished that I could adapt just like she had. 

“Hi love. I just disembarked,” I said. “And no need asking. I got my luggage as well.”

“Wow, I’m impressed. That was quick,” she said with a whistle. I guess some things never changed. “Okay so, I’ll call an Uber for you and they’ll leave you at my place. I can’t get you right now, I’m really sorry.”

I felt bad that she felt like she had to apologize. I was burdening her and she felt bad about the fact that she couldn’t come and pick me up. 

“No need to apologize. I’ll just wait. Thank you,” I said sincerely.

After brushing my thanks away, Sandra dropped the call. A few minutes later, I received a text from her with the details of the car that was going to pick me up. Then she went silent. Sandra and I, even though we had remained close, were not the type of people who could text lengthily through text messages. I was glad we understood each other. 

The Uber ride to Sandra’s place was very quiet. I stared out into the city, watching and observing. There was so much traffic. But I guess that was one of the perks of living in a big city. It was fascinating. Youngstown was not the type of town that easily had traffic. The most time I had ever spent waiting on the Highway was five minutes. 

I honestly enjoyed the ride. It was so different from what I was used to. Plus, if I was truly going to live here, then I had to get used to this surroundings, no matter how hard it seemed. I sighed and blinked quickly to avoid the tears that were threatening to fall. I wished I had a “normal” family, with a mother who was still living and a dad who cared about me, even if it was just a little. 

I sighed. I had stopped wishing for things at a young age, when I understood that there was nothing wishing could do. I just needed to concentrate on my future and make it what I wanted to be so I didn’t end up bitter and cold like my father.

In some weird way, I missed him. It was hard for us to talk in a civilized manner. But when we did, it was the most amazing thing. I missed when he was sober and when he actually came up with great ideas that were going to help our business grow. I missed when he spoke to me almost like I was his equal and he didn’t throw my mom in my face every second.

I closed my eyes and let out a silent prayer. Whatever was about to happen, I prayed that it would work out for my good eventually. I hoped that I achieved what I was aiming to achieve so I could go back home and finally make my father proud. That was all I wanted. 

I shook when I felt someone tap me. I looked up. It was the driver. He was staring at me and frowning. I blushed a little. I didn’t know what I had done for him to look so annoyed.

“I have been trying to get your attention for five fucking minutes. Are you some sort of psycho?” he asked in a loud voice and I flinched.

“Sorry,” I muttered in a small voice. I had just arrived the town, the last thing I wanted with anyone was any sort of altercation. This wasn’t a good sign…

“We’re here,” he said, looking at me weirdly.

I rummaged in my bag for a bit then I pulled out a fifty dollar bill and gave it to the man. He stared at me a little weirdly, but he didn’t refuse. He took it from me, then I got out of the car. 

I looked up at the building standing in front of me. It was huge. I had never seen anything like this in my life, not in reality anyways. It looked super glamorous and I was even scared that me getting in it would stain it. I looked down at myself. I was dressed in a simple T-shirt and jeans with a bag hanging down my shoulder. I felt so out of place.

There was no mistaking that this was Sandra’s building. But still, to make sure, I pulled my phone out and checked for the pictures she had sent. Yup. It was definitely it. It was beautiful, but it looked so… sterile. Like there was nothing to it. But I wasn’t about to complain. She had accepted for me to stay here. Our tastes weren’t the same.

I walked into the building, trying not to feel too intimidated, then I went up to the fourth floor. I was counting the minutes in the elevator. It had been a while since I had seen Sandra, and even though we had managed to keep in touch with each other, two years was a long time. 

I walked to her apartment number, and for some strange reason, I felt really reluctant to ring the bell. So I texted her. Sandra was the type of person who never put her phone down so I knew she was going to see the text right away. And a few moments later, I heard footsteps and the door launched open. Before I had the time to even smile, or say something, Sandra had launched herself at me.

“Baby!” she screamed. I couldn’t help my laugh. “I’ve missed you so much.”

Sandra was an exuberant person. And it was normal. She came from a family where hugs were the norm, and where no one screamed at you for making a little noise.

“I missed you too,” I said, letting my bag fall to the floor and I hugged my best friend. She was one of the few good things in my life. And without her, I would have been so much more closed up than I was now. 

“You look so good baby,” Sandra said when she had pulled away from the hug.

I laughed and looked down at my simple outfit. I knew she was lying. “Oh please, I’m the one supposed to be telling you that. You look like a million bucks.”

And I wasn’t even exaggerating. Sandra’s skin was shiny and her hair was big and beautiful. Her eyes were shining with laughter and she looked so happy. I envied her for a moment.

“Okay, so I see I am going to have to give you a lesson on deflecting my compliments again,” she said with a cross look at me.

“No please. I look good, thank you babe,” I said quickly and both of us laughed.

The last time she had given me that lesson, I had heard over one hundred variations of the word beautiful. I was never going to forget that day.

“So how was your flight?” Sandra asked, pulling my suitcase in while I picked my bag up and walked into her apartment. “Did you meet anyone?” she asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

I laughed. She was a character. “Nope. You know it’s impossible anyways, I would have probably ran away if anyone had tried to approach me,” I responded, admiring the way she had decorated her apartment tastefully. 

“And that’s the problem with you. I swear I am going to find someone and forcefully hook you up with them!” she exclaimed with a determined look on her face.

I didn’t have the heart to tell her that the chance of that happening was extremely slim so I shut my mouth and followed her to what was supposed to be my room.

It was beautiful. The room was painted a soft pink and the decorations, all in different shades of white made a nice contrast. The bed looked so comfortable and after my flight, I couldn’t wait to lay down on it and get a lot of rest. I think Sandra noticed because she got that maternal look on her face.

“Okay so there’s a bathroom right there,” she said, pointing at a door I had not noticed yet in the room. “You can shower and rest, and when you’re done, we’ll go for dinner and talk about everything. How does that sound?”

I knew her “how does that sound” was just a formality but I nodded with a warm smile. It did sound amazing anyways. I sighed and sat on the edge of the bed and pulled my phone out. No message or call from my dad to know whether I had reached safe or not. I stared at it for a while, as if it was going to make a notification to appear magically. 

I swallowed, then went to his contact and called him. I hoped he picked. 

He did.

“Hi dad,” I said. “I know you’re probably busy but I just called to let you know I reached safely.”

He grunted. “That’s it? C’mon girl, you know I don’t have time for useless chitchat. Call me when you have actual news.” Then he hung up.

I stayed frozen for some time, the phone still glued to my ear. Then I pulled it away slowly and closed my eyes to stop the tears from falling but it was useless. I tried not to sob. It was of no use. I should be accustomed to this. I shouldn’t be crying over this. My dad had never shown me any particular sign of love or care even when he was sober, even when my mom was alive. So why was it so shocking to me now? 

I went to the bathroom and turned on the shower. Hoping that the water stream was going to wash my tears away and was going to be loud enough to muffle my sobs.