C90

Greyson, it's been a week.

I never thought heartbreak was a real thing, but in this week I've felt nothing but pain. Heartbreak is horrible. Loosing you is horrible. Living is horrible. I feel stupid, writing this when I know you will never read it, but I hope it helps. I hope it helps me in anyway possible.

Your funeral was agonising. I didn't want to go. I felt like attending was confirming that you were gone, and I didn't want to do that, not with your baby growing inside of me.

Everyone was shocked. I still am shocked.

I don't really know what they think. I haven't left my room. I can't step outside and see you everywhere, but not have you next to me.

I think I hear you sometimes, in my head. I know it's my imagination, but I so desperately want to hear the word sugar again.

I love you, and one day I know I'll see you again. I'll be able to apologise for not telling you. I wish you knew that you will soon have a child in this world. That will forever be one of my greatest regrets.