"This is interesting," I commented as I held beautiful black lace underwear. Its fabric soft to the touch. My mind could already imagine her goddess-carved body in the black lace. She'd rule my world.Roman tied her hair up in the corner. She looked at me with an uncomfortable look."Uh... yeah- um. Yolanda put it there. I don't know why she did that," she stuttered.Roman was a shit lair. Her heart rate always sped up and her eyes wandered when she did. She was like an open book. Sometimes."It's nice," I admitted and imagined her gorgeous lady lumps in the lingerie. Her sweet caramel skin under the black."Thanks, I guess?” she said awkwardly.A silence crept up on us. That night in the diner was the only time it ever felt normal between us. Were just people, talking and things flowed between us like a cold river. I wanted it to be that way all the time.I eyed a plastic of products on the side of my bed. I dug around in the bag and took out a container."I sent someone out for some
Everything irritated me. I could feel particles in the air brushing past every inch of me as I went downstairs like soft paper cuts on my skin. The air was not clean, I could see dust wafting in the air and resting on the brim of vases, must on the windows. The world around me exploded into intricate disgusting detail. I could hear everything, everyone's thoughts and voices like a cacophony in my brain. Sounds of subtle movements, shifting, shuffling, coughs and saliva. Louder and louder by the second.Why was this happening now? Why couldn't I just have a simple conversation with her? Have long moments of tranquility. I wanted to go back to her but I knew I'd be annoyed with her. Everything in existence irritated me. I'd be so insufferable she'd hate me more than she already did.Since she arrived, I've been experiencing lighter swings but I could feel this one was going to be heavy if I couldn't help it.I rushed down the stairs and clapped off the dust under my hands from the rails
"Rue, Regina and I were the only girls, the rest were boys. Rue and Regina are-were twins."She choked and my gaiety disappeared."We all had golden eyes. The whole pack. At night we didn't need any light,” she said with distance.I nodded for her to carry on."Robin was the firstborn, he was very cocky but still the best older brother I've ever had. Then there was Ryan and Ryco, who were two years apart and the best of friends. They liked pranks and managed to piss off everyone in the village. They looked out for me, constantly defending me from Riven's bullying. He bullied everyone but that's just how he expressed himself I guess."A short shaky breath left her lips."You don't have to-""Riven fed on my humiliation."I admired her boldness. "Reuben was anti-social most of the time. You kind of remind me of him." She smiled."I am not anti-social," I argued. I wasn't."You kinda are, when you want to be.""You don't know me," I stated and she rolled her rich eyes."Anyways, the rea
Sweat beaded my chest. Air slipped between my lips as it was too fast for me to catch it. The room was humid and I kicked off the blanket as it was burning my covered feet. I covered my face with my hands to feel if I was real. If I was really here in the Traga house. It was just a dream. Just a very vivid dream.This time I was trapped in a cage of trees, formed close to each other like clasped fingers - refusing me any pathway. A bloodthirsty growl came from a dark forest. I was in my wolf form, injured and scared. A black wolf appeared in the distance. It was him, the bloody Azrael alpha, Intiyago. My hands trembled at the thought of him. The whole dream made him a deadly demon, it made him larger than reality, someone who could shift in and out of my head at will.Although I was wide awake the terror still thummed in me like a pulse. My eyes scanned the room, maybe he was behind the bookshelf or the ominous bathroom door.It wasn't the first time I dreamt of him though, even befor
"Roman?" A deep voice called.I froze with meat dangling from my mouth."Khai?" I questioned silently and looked back.I wasn't supposed to wake him. Who else did I wake up?"What's wrong?"The impulse to lie was there but the truth was stronger, it just rolled out of me."I had a nightmare.""About?""The Azraels." I bit into the meat and blood oozed out of the corner of my lips. I groaned at my terrible presentation."They won't hurt you-""You don't know that," I shot at him."You're safe here."He lied, he had to be. He was just doing that thing people did when someone was sad, afraid and confused. Say the opposite."The Azraels won't come here, they are outnumbered."He boasted about his humongous pack. It surely was the largest pack I've ever seen but the Azraels were strong. Deadly."He's coming back," I stated."He won't. He ran away because he was outnumbered. We are bigger. Stronger.""He's probably planning something big. Something dangerous and he will destroy us," I found
I burned like a star. Endless upon endless combustions of passion fuelled by the bottomless well of my desire. I had only gazed down that well before, I didn't know my waters ran that deep. I was in a frenzy. Conscious yet not willing to reign myself back out of it. I pulled him closer to me. I could tell he was in full control, he, himself wanted this. I traced my hands all over his defined upper body, feeling down to the shapes of his abdominal muscles. So well-made he was.His hands went under my shirt and he gripped my breast under the cage they called a brassiere. The sensation my body gave out whenever he touched me, was enhanced when he touched me there.I kissed his collarbone, making him moan, finding this as his primary soft spot. I'd never done this before but my body knew where to kiss, where to touch as if it had been written into the fibres of my being. We were in indulgence.His breaths tickled my neck and chest as he pulled my shirt off, leaving me in the colourful bra
Khai’s presence entered the room and eased into bed. My back was to him and I pretended to sleep. His warmth inched closer and closer until his arms wrapped around my body. I moved myself out of his arms.“I knew you weren't asleep.”“I thought we agreed on no touching in bed.”“I thought that after our make-out session, all rules were gone.”I could hear him smirking through his voice.“I just want to grieve in silence and... in space.”I came here to cry alone.“Don’t you want to stop grieving, haven’t you had enough?”My head snapped in his direction. His head rested on his palm. I didn't have the words.“I want you now,” Khai said softly.I had assumed he was an impatient person but now I knew.“That’s selfish," I stated.Anger simmered in my belly and crawled up my throat like bile. If I stayed there I would say things I didn't mean. I got up from the bed.“Where are you going?” he asked as I opened the door and shut it behind me.Inconsiderate bastard. Impatient prick. Insensiti
Grace never left her room. She just stopped going out. I bet the stench was putrid.Mom always left food for her at the door and she would open only for that. The same person who allowed her to stay didn't even talk to her. I only saw Grace if I woke up early enough to find her heading to the shower. Very early."So Grace stays?" an elder asked.We sat in a meeting, me and of all elders of the pack were in the living room. It had been two weeks since the treaty was broken. Schedules clashed and there never came a time for everyone to come together until then. Things were always slow here."Yes," I sighed heavily.I stood in the middle and they all sat on the couches."No punishment?" another asked."The Luna prescribes we don't.""So you let your Luna control you?" An old friend of my father asked from the corner.I growled under my breath and sneered at him. I knew they would see it that way."She doesn't control
I reached out for her and she moved her hand away. That's when I knew there was division between us."Do you know what you sound like?" she said as she glared at me.I shrugged helplessly."A colonizer.""Excuse me?" I breathed.I wasn't sure if I heard her right."I should've listened to Malcolm. You've made Malcolm a reliable source. Do you know how insane you need to be to make Malcolm sound reliable?" she shouted.The workers around us watched us and all the harvesting had stopped. Audrey saw the eyes and closed the space between us and lowered her voice."How dare you use Khai's name to justify your schemes," she said through clenched teeth."This is not my scheme Audrey. I don't want this either but Khai said-""How dare you?"Her eyes became glossy and she jabbed a finger in my chest."Doing that will eradicate everything that makes us Traga. You came in here and usurped our leader and now you
Winter covered the garden with its cold whiteness and a few months breezed past. The trees grew bare with leaves and frostbite crept up my fragile human toes.I never had to worry about these things when I spent every day and night as a wolf. My fur always kept me warm but as a human, which I spent most of my time as - I found sickness and shivering to be commonplace.They were generous with the mourning period but time was running out. I couldn't avoid the subject of marriage to Malcolm any longer. Eventually, the elders would end their kind silence and come to the house again.Intimidated and confused, I had said yes to marrying Malcolm under the condition that they would lend me the guard dogs in my fight against the Azraels. They had done that for me.This was against my moral code. Growing up, my father taught me to keep my word but then I felt Khai, heard him in my head and promised him I’d never marry Malcolm and see the plan through - my mor
It became apparent why I was here. Why it was the doorstep of the Tragas I fell upon. It was for this moment right here. Khai and I were nothing but collateral, a means to an end.I was but a small cog in the machine, a pawn in a chess game played by the gods. Traga was willing to sacrifice himself to Yaga so his children would get stronger and live longer. My blood would certainly guarantee that.After Khai left my mind and body I felt lonely. Lonelier than I’d ever been or believed was possible. I sat in the desert crying for what felt like an hour as the black hole in my chest gaped wider.I saw them looking for me in the distance and I ran to hide so I could cry all the cowardice out of me.I couldn’t continue like this anymore. I needed to take the first step. Move out of the passive and into the active.For the first time in a long time, I got on my knees and said a prayer.Give me the strength to see these plans through. Please soften the hearts of Traga Wolves so they may rece
The night went on and I left the crowd to sit alone with my fourth drink. I wanted to cry but my body felt too tired of all the sadness and pain. Also, I was tired of forcing smiles.I walked a mile off and sat on the dirt, gazing up at the moon.I’d never given the moon much thought till I came to Traga. All I cared about before was the sun and now I was of both the sun and the moon.As I stared the moon it began to glow. I kept my gaze fixed on it and I felt my blood rushing through my veins. I stood up to my feet as my heart pounded in my chest.What was happening?It went on for a while until my chest felt warm. Tears brimmed at my eyes as I felt it again. His love. His warmth, his presence glowing from inside of me.It was Khai. How?Roman. Khai?Yes. How? I laughed, a mix of joy and tears.How was this happening. I’d never felt so whole in my life. My
Ginos was a place out of town, randomly in the middle of the dessert like area. It was made of shipping containers huddled into a circle where people could sit and have drinks. They only served barbeque meats and alcohol. The air was heavy with spices, smoke and charred meat which made my mouth salivate.I couldn’t believe the Tragas had finally managed to get me off raw meat. I couldn’t imagine eating it.We joined two tables and sat together, the loudest group in the whole place. Hannah, Falcon, Jacob, Yolanda, Audrey, Malcolm, Linda and apparently Greg was coming. The idea didn’t excite me and I felt that it was disrespectful seeing as Khai was barely gone for a week and she was already going over his head.Khai never wanted Greg around them. He could do nothing about Linda’s love for him but he made it clear he didn’t want him around other wolves.I didn’t have the energy to argue and fight a losing battle. No matter what I said, Linda would justify his presence in her head. And on
The guard dogs ran ahead of me, howling in celebration. I turned my head away from the corpses and tried to convince myself I was walking back from somewhere else. But I couldn’t forget what I did, not while I had his skull in my mouth.The howls filled the air all the way back to Traga land. Outside the house many wolves in their human forms had gathered, ready to receive us. They were so excited to see us, cheering and joyful that the reign of Azraels was finally over. I placed Intiyago’s head in the middle of the garden and everyone erupted in joy.Where was my joy, I wondered. I couldn’t feel a thing.Intiyago haunted me for so long, made my life a living hell and now that I had ended him I felt no joy nor sense of completion. I entered the house and phased into a human in the kitchen.My behavior offset them but they continued to cheer and celebrate outside, hoisting Intiyago’s head and parading around with it. The house was e
The world was red as I backed away, trying to shake the blood off my face. Intiyago walked slowly toward me. Prowling, Ravenous and angry but his eyes – his eyes were sympathetic.Roman, this is not what I want. His voice was soft in my head. He stopped in his tracks, his head lowered down and he licked drops of my blood which had fallen on a rock.No.But it was too late, his pink tongue wiped the rock clean and his eyes surged with a golden glow. A menacing growl ripped out of him.This is what I want!His voice was heavy again, dark and sharp. The sun healed the scratch and I could see properly again. I charged toward him and clawed at his face. Claw after claw I saw blood and more blood until his face was disfigured. He howled and jumped to the side where he rammed me into a tree. The impact almost broke my ribs but I got back up and gave him everything I had. I rammed him into the other tree and bit into his arm so hard I hit his bone.The painful howl he screamed satisfied me i
Malcolm decided to return to the funeral with a busted nose and lips. I waited on the porch for the guard dogs to appear. They said that as soon as Khai was buried we would get to go.Nothing else mattered but my vengeance, nothing at all. There was no after. I couldn’t imagine it and if I died killing all the Azraels I would be satisfied, I would’ve achieved my life’s purpose.A couple of wolves… Ten? No fifteen. Twenty-seven? Thirty! Thirty, to be exact broke out of the forest, ravenous and ready to fight. Traga guard dogs. Slightly bigger than other wolves and their legs showed that they spent their time fighting and running. These were strong wolves. I almost felt pride when I saw them coming in, if no one knew – they would’ve thought they were wild wolves.I got to my feet as family members and other Tragas came back to the house in their human forms. Hannah ran to my side.“You don’t have to do this. You’re the alpha, send them out instead. You stay.”Vomit bubbled in the back o
When we were out of sight he loosened his grip on me. My hand quickly found its way to his and I held it tight. I couldn’t let go of the warmth, even for a second. I still allowed my mind to play tricks on me. If I did not look at him and imagine his voice as Khai’s he would be Khai.“You can’t do that type of stuff. It’s traumatising,” he said.I knew it was wrong. I did not doubt it but I didn’t care.His other free hand ran down his face. He looked tired and sleepless. The bags under his eyes were swollen, and red cracked through the whites of his eyes. Had he not slept? I looked away from him, to the trees and anything else that would allow me to swap him out with who I wanted him to be.“That’s why we have to look at him before they shut the casket. It prevents such things.”Leaves crunched under his boots and my heels. My ankles and toes hurt.It was insane how it hadn’t been a complete year since I met Khai. I met him in winter and lost him before winter. I let go of his hand. H