“You are insane!” I shouted.Roman struggled to keep up with me from behind as I stormed away. Hannah had phased and ran away and Falcon pursued her. This was a nightmare, nothing went according to plan. Instead, the world decided to fall apart around me. These were the things that made normal people depressed but because my brain was broken, I only felt rage and anger.“What did you expect me to say? No, and cause more trouble?” she shouted from behind me, out of breath.I stopped walking and she caught up.“I know that everyone hates me for being here. I want to do something for everyone. This is the least I can do!”“Do you even love me?” I asked her.Roman rolled her eyes as if the question had an obvious answer.“Of course I love you,” she said and her eyes went wide. That was the first time she ever said it.“Of course, I love you Khai, that’s why I’m doing it,” she said again, this time with substance.“You cannot claim to love me and willingly have a child with another man.”“
The spring heat was bugging me and an even warmer breeze came through from the window. I opened my eyes and the lights were on.Didn't we switch them off?I checked on Khai and his face was too far from me to be breathing on my neck. Oddly he was too far away from me on the bed. Usually, he slept stuck to my body or an inch away. Never at the edge.I sat up and caught a figure by the mirror, my heart stopped for a minute as he stood there, wearing black pants, a leather jacket and that same familiar scar on his face.I saw his eyes as they reflected off the mirror and a devious smirk grew on his face. My stomach clenched and my breath stopped. Slowly, he turned around and faced me with a wider smile.Though the lights were on and I saw exactly where he was, it was just as terrifying as the dark."Roman," his coarse voice resonated.It sent shivers down my spine and crushed my ability to move."How are you?"My eyes went to the window, wide open. We had made it so easy for him. My lips
I had to plan how to address everyone without Roman’s knowledge. Understanding how terrified she was of them when she first arrived and the vivid dreams she had been having, I couldn't let her think they were at our doorstep. However, I sensed that she also knew that without a doubt.That pervert was watching us, at every moment. He had his stupid dogs around Traga land but so did I. The problem was, we were losing numbers. Everyone sent out, especially on night watches either didn’t return or returned heavily injured, the men were becoming scared and reluctant. All these casualties I kept from Roman, if she saw them she would run away or turn herself in. I couldn’t risk the chance of that stupidity. Roman was afraid but she could also be reckless."We'll have to meet up in Sutterman Field," Jacob advised.I nodded up at him as we sat in the kitchen. He was referring to the city's largest football field, it would fit everyone and it would be far from Roman. Nobody visited it anymore d
I looked at the porridge, steaming piping through the air and angelic swirls. I pushed it away.“Can’t you do it for me, Jacob?” I asked him.Jacob tilted his head to the side.“She needs you,” he said quietly.I covered my head and laid it my arms on the table. I couldn’t go back in there and face her. Her feet hurt the most that day and they were swelling. Her face was stained in tears, eyes swollen and puffy – I feared I might forget her face and fierce personality. The poison had so wrongly reduced her into a crying and crippling woman - what I would give to hear an opinion from her, a no or something that wasn’t agony.Also, I was still upset with her. How eagerly she wanted to have a child with my cousin’s mate. Out of all the things she could’ve done for Traga or me, why did it have to be that? I started my research the night we returned. Roman agreed that we would do it my way and I was going to find any way to prevent even the slightest contact. I was looking into egg donatio
Suddenly Whitney got loose from her husband and charged toward Roman. I knew she couldn’t hurt her even if she wanted to. She pointed a sharp accusatory finger at her chest and poked her around. Roman was so weak each jab nudged her back.“You are a dark omen on this pack. All you bring is death and darkness. Your name is heavy with implication. Rome was not built in a day but it fell quickly. Destruction and death are your tail. Leave us or we will make you leave.”Roman looked like she would cry at any moment but it was because she had been crying all day. She looked frail, her face was gaunt and her small figure was wrapped in a fleece. She stepped closer to Whitney, got really close to her face. Whitney was a head taller than her but the look on Roman’s face implied she was the one looking down on her.“I’ve always thought you hated me but now I am certain. I’m happy we can finally be honest with each other,” Roman spoke with a low voice, sour with bitterness.She stepped aside. I
I thought I had suffered enough heartache to be unphased by this but this was a real pain, a real disappointment. I had started to believe again. I knew Yaga was my goddess but she had become some part of my mind more than the one who rules my world – then Khai prayed and it all got better and I could feel her all-knowing power again but that was a farce - some kind of joke.I spent the whole day in bed, using sleep as the only getaway from this pain."I'll be back soon I promise. Twelve wolves are outside to watch the perimeter of the house. My mother will be here. I need to go sort out some business," Khai spoke with strain in his voice."I'll be right back, I promise,” he said when he came to kiss my forehead.I pulled his face to my lips and kissed him. He smiled wearily and closed the door behind him.I didn’t need to hear it, I knew it – Khai was tired of his sick fiancé. Always in bed, always in pain. I wish I could get better or find a way to purge my system of this sickness b
My body had already forgotten its pain. My mind and every part of me felt free and released. The only thing that lingered was that dark omen, heavy on my shoulders and body. My back started to hurt from the weight of it but I was grateful it wasn’t the poison.The door budged again, the wood splintering as it bulged. I should’ve ran away but couldn’t help the strong feeling that I was exactly where I was supposed to be."Hello?" I called.Then everything went still until I heard a scratching sound from behind the door. The door shook hazardously and I jumped back.The silence returned and for a while, I thought I had imagined all the sounds and breaking. I stuck my ear to the door to listen. Something in there was in sync with me. A heartbeat, at the same rate as mine. Our hearts weren’t beating slow, they were steady, fast if anything else. I knocked again and something shifted in there or someone.Why was someone in there? I quickly kicked the door and fell back as pain exploded in
My eyes fluttered open to a warm light. A small sting remained in my head but the rest of my body was fine again. I breathed out in relief as I sat up on the couch and looked out the window into the field. I wasn't having one of those realistic dreams again, was I?I really passed outside, right?"Hello," a deep voice snapped my head in its direction.From the staircase came down a man, tall, dark olive skin and water dripping from his black shoulder-length hair, down to his defined chest. He was built like a god, breathtaking and without imperfection with skin a sculpture made of bronze. He looked like he ate steak and eggs for every meal the way he was so brawny. Around his V line was a towel which revealed his toned calves. I couldn’t stop myself from taking every drop of him like a glass of water on a hot day. His lips were plump with a heavy lower lip.He noticed me analysing his handsome face and smiled. His eyes blinked tiny drops away from his eyelashes and I noticed it. I not
I reached out for her and she moved her hand away. That's when I knew there was division between us."Do you know what you sound like?" she said as she glared at me.I shrugged helplessly."A colonizer.""Excuse me?" I breathed.I wasn't sure if I heard her right."I should've listened to Malcolm. You've made Malcolm a reliable source. Do you know how insane you need to be to make Malcolm sound reliable?" she shouted.The workers around us watched us and all the harvesting had stopped. Audrey saw the eyes and closed the space between us and lowered her voice."How dare you use Khai's name to justify your schemes," she said through clenched teeth."This is not my scheme Audrey. I don't want this either but Khai said-""How dare you?"Her eyes became glossy and she jabbed a finger in my chest."Doing that will eradicate everything that makes us Traga. You came in here and usurped our leader and now you
Winter covered the garden with its cold whiteness and a few months breezed past. The trees grew bare with leaves and frostbite crept up my fragile human toes.I never had to worry about these things when I spent every day and night as a wolf. My fur always kept me warm but as a human, which I spent most of my time as - I found sickness and shivering to be commonplace.They were generous with the mourning period but time was running out. I couldn't avoid the subject of marriage to Malcolm any longer. Eventually, the elders would end their kind silence and come to the house again.Intimidated and confused, I had said yes to marrying Malcolm under the condition that they would lend me the guard dogs in my fight against the Azraels. They had done that for me.This was against my moral code. Growing up, my father taught me to keep my word but then I felt Khai, heard him in my head and promised him I’d never marry Malcolm and see the plan through - my mor
It became apparent why I was here. Why it was the doorstep of the Tragas I fell upon. It was for this moment right here. Khai and I were nothing but collateral, a means to an end.I was but a small cog in the machine, a pawn in a chess game played by the gods. Traga was willing to sacrifice himself to Yaga so his children would get stronger and live longer. My blood would certainly guarantee that.After Khai left my mind and body I felt lonely. Lonelier than I’d ever been or believed was possible. I sat in the desert crying for what felt like an hour as the black hole in my chest gaped wider.I saw them looking for me in the distance and I ran to hide so I could cry all the cowardice out of me.I couldn’t continue like this anymore. I needed to take the first step. Move out of the passive and into the active.For the first time in a long time, I got on my knees and said a prayer.Give me the strength to see these plans through. Please soften the hearts of Traga Wolves so they may rece
The night went on and I left the crowd to sit alone with my fourth drink. I wanted to cry but my body felt too tired of all the sadness and pain. Also, I was tired of forcing smiles.I walked a mile off and sat on the dirt, gazing up at the moon.I’d never given the moon much thought till I came to Traga. All I cared about before was the sun and now I was of both the sun and the moon.As I stared the moon it began to glow. I kept my gaze fixed on it and I felt my blood rushing through my veins. I stood up to my feet as my heart pounded in my chest.What was happening?It went on for a while until my chest felt warm. Tears brimmed at my eyes as I felt it again. His love. His warmth, his presence glowing from inside of me.It was Khai. How?Roman. Khai?Yes. How? I laughed, a mix of joy and tears.How was this happening. I’d never felt so whole in my life. My
Ginos was a place out of town, randomly in the middle of the dessert like area. It was made of shipping containers huddled into a circle where people could sit and have drinks. They only served barbeque meats and alcohol. The air was heavy with spices, smoke and charred meat which made my mouth salivate.I couldn’t believe the Tragas had finally managed to get me off raw meat. I couldn’t imagine eating it.We joined two tables and sat together, the loudest group in the whole place. Hannah, Falcon, Jacob, Yolanda, Audrey, Malcolm, Linda and apparently Greg was coming. The idea didn’t excite me and I felt that it was disrespectful seeing as Khai was barely gone for a week and she was already going over his head.Khai never wanted Greg around them. He could do nothing about Linda’s love for him but he made it clear he didn’t want him around other wolves.I didn’t have the energy to argue and fight a losing battle. No matter what I said, Linda would justify his presence in her head. And on
The guard dogs ran ahead of me, howling in celebration. I turned my head away from the corpses and tried to convince myself I was walking back from somewhere else. But I couldn’t forget what I did, not while I had his skull in my mouth.The howls filled the air all the way back to Traga land. Outside the house many wolves in their human forms had gathered, ready to receive us. They were so excited to see us, cheering and joyful that the reign of Azraels was finally over. I placed Intiyago’s head in the middle of the garden and everyone erupted in joy.Where was my joy, I wondered. I couldn’t feel a thing.Intiyago haunted me for so long, made my life a living hell and now that I had ended him I felt no joy nor sense of completion. I entered the house and phased into a human in the kitchen.My behavior offset them but they continued to cheer and celebrate outside, hoisting Intiyago’s head and parading around with it. The house was e
The world was red as I backed away, trying to shake the blood off my face. Intiyago walked slowly toward me. Prowling, Ravenous and angry but his eyes – his eyes were sympathetic.Roman, this is not what I want. His voice was soft in my head. He stopped in his tracks, his head lowered down and he licked drops of my blood which had fallen on a rock.No.But it was too late, his pink tongue wiped the rock clean and his eyes surged with a golden glow. A menacing growl ripped out of him.This is what I want!His voice was heavy again, dark and sharp. The sun healed the scratch and I could see properly again. I charged toward him and clawed at his face. Claw after claw I saw blood and more blood until his face was disfigured. He howled and jumped to the side where he rammed me into a tree. The impact almost broke my ribs but I got back up and gave him everything I had. I rammed him into the other tree and bit into his arm so hard I hit his bone.The painful howl he screamed satisfied me i
Malcolm decided to return to the funeral with a busted nose and lips. I waited on the porch for the guard dogs to appear. They said that as soon as Khai was buried we would get to go.Nothing else mattered but my vengeance, nothing at all. There was no after. I couldn’t imagine it and if I died killing all the Azraels I would be satisfied, I would’ve achieved my life’s purpose.A couple of wolves… Ten? No fifteen. Twenty-seven? Thirty! Thirty, to be exact broke out of the forest, ravenous and ready to fight. Traga guard dogs. Slightly bigger than other wolves and their legs showed that they spent their time fighting and running. These were strong wolves. I almost felt pride when I saw them coming in, if no one knew – they would’ve thought they were wild wolves.I got to my feet as family members and other Tragas came back to the house in their human forms. Hannah ran to my side.“You don’t have to do this. You’re the alpha, send them out instead. You stay.”Vomit bubbled in the back o
When we were out of sight he loosened his grip on me. My hand quickly found its way to his and I held it tight. I couldn’t let go of the warmth, even for a second. I still allowed my mind to play tricks on me. If I did not look at him and imagine his voice as Khai’s he would be Khai.“You can’t do that type of stuff. It’s traumatising,” he said.I knew it was wrong. I did not doubt it but I didn’t care.His other free hand ran down his face. He looked tired and sleepless. The bags under his eyes were swollen, and red cracked through the whites of his eyes. Had he not slept? I looked away from him, to the trees and anything else that would allow me to swap him out with who I wanted him to be.“That’s why we have to look at him before they shut the casket. It prevents such things.”Leaves crunched under his boots and my heels. My ankles and toes hurt.It was insane how it hadn’t been a complete year since I met Khai. I met him in winter and lost him before winter. I let go of his hand. H