Chapter 5

After breakfast, Elara decided to take a walk in the woods that bordered the estate. It was a place where she could be alone with her thoughts, where she could escape the feeling of inadequacy that seemed to follow her everywhere. The woods were quiet, the only sounds the rustle of leaves and the occasional chirping of birds. Elara wandered along the winding paths, her mind racing with thoughts she couldn’t quite articulate.

She had always been a dreamer, always holding onto the hope that one day, her life would change for the better. But now, standing at the edge of everything she had ever wanted, she found herself questioning those dreams. Was this really the life she had hoped for? And if it was, why did it feel so empty?

As she walked, she came across a small clearing in the woods, a place she hadn’t noticed before. In the center of the clearing was a large, flat rock, and Elara sat down on it, her legs dangling over the edge. She gazed up at the sky, the blue expanse dotted with fluffy white clouds, and let out a long, deep sigh.

“I’m not enough,” she whispered to the empty air, the words tasting bitter on her tongue. “No matter what I do, I’ll never be enough.”

The thought had been lingering in her mind for weeks, but this was the first time she had allowed herself to give voice to it. It was a painful admission, one that made her chest ache with sorrow. But as much as it hurt, she couldn’t deny the truth of it.

Cassia was everything the Hawthornes could have wanted in a daughter. She was their biological niece, someone they had known and loved long before Elara had ever entered their lives. Elara, on the other hand, was an outsider, a girl they had taken in out of a sense of duty or pity. And no matter how kind they were, no matter how much they tried to include her, Elara couldn’t shake the feeling that she didn’t truly belong.

As she sat in the clearing, Elara felt a tear slip down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away, angry at herself for crying. She had always prided herself on being strong, on never letting her emotions get the better of her. But now, sitting alone in the woods, she felt anything but strong. She felt lost, adrift in a life that no longer felt like her own.

Elara stayed in the clearing for what felt like hours, letting her thoughts swirl around her like leaves in the wind. She knew she couldn’t stay there forever, but the thought of returning to the house, of facing Cassia and the Hawthornes, filled her with a sense of dread. She wasn’t sure she could keep pretending that everything was fine, that she was happy, when the truth was so far from that.

Eventually, as the sun began to dip lower in the sky, Elara stood up and made her way back to the mansion. Her steps were slow, reluctant, as if she were walking toward a fate she couldn’t escape. When she reached the edge of the woods, she paused, taking one last look at the clearing before turning her back on it and heading home.

When Elara entered the house, the first thing she noticed was the quiet. The bustling energy that usually filled the mansion was absent, and for a moment, Elara wondered if everyone had gone out. But as she made her way toward the sitting room, she heard the faint sound of voices.

Elara stopped just outside the doorway, listening. The voices were low, almost hushed, as if the speakers didn’t want to be overheard. She recognized the voices immediately—Mr. and Mrs. Hawthorne, talking in that familiar way parents do when they think their children aren’t listening.

“…so worried about her,” Mrs. Hawthorne was saying, her voice tinged with concern. “She’s been so quiet lately, so withdrawn.”

“I know,” Mr. Hawthorne replied, his tone heavy. “But what can we do? We’ve tried to include her, to make her feel welcome, but it’s clear that something’s bothering her.”

There was a pause, and Elara could almost imagine them exchanging a look, one of those silent conversations that only people who know each other well can have.

“Do you think it’s because of Cassia?” Mrs. Hawthorne asked softly.

Elara’s heart skipped a beat, and she pressed herself closer to the wall, straining to hear the answer.

“It could be,” Mr. Hawthorne admitted. “But it’s not Cassia’s fault. She’s just being herself. We can’t ask her to change who she is.”

“I know,” Mrs. Hawthorne sighed. “But I can’t help feeling like we’ve failed Elara somehow. She’s such a sweet girl, and I hate to think that she’s unhappy.”

Elara’s chest tightened at the words. She hadn’t realized how much they cared, how much they had noticed her struggles. But hearing them talk about her like this, as if she were a problem to be solved, only made her feel more isolated, more alone.

“We’ll just have to keep trying,” Mr. Hawthorne said finally. “We can’t give up on her. She’s part of our family now.”

“Of course,” Mrs. Hawthorne agreed. “I just hope she knows that.”

Elara couldn’t listen any longer. She turned and fled up the stairs, her heart pounding in her chest. When she reached her room, she closed the door behind her and leaned against it, trying to catch her breath.

They cared. They really cared. But instead of feeling comforted by that knowledge, Elara felt even more conflicted. They cared, but they also cared about Cassia. And as long as Cassia was there, Elara would always feel like she was in second place, always feel like she was competing for their love and attention.

Elara sank down onto her bed, her mind a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. She had spent so long hoping for a family, for a place where she belonged. And now that she had it, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was losing it, that it was slipping away from her.

The days passed in a blur, each one blending into the next as Elara struggled to find her place in the Hawthorne household. Cassia continued to shine, her light undimmed by Elara’s presence. She was always there, always the center of attention, always the one everyone turned to. And Elara, despite her best efforts, remained on the sidelines, watching as the life she had dreamed of seemed to revolve around someone else.

It wasn’t that Cassia was cruel or unkind—if anything, she was the opposite. She was always polite to Elara, always included her in the games and activities she organized. But there was an ease, a naturalness to the way Cassia interacted with the Hawthornes that Elara could never replicate. It was as if Cassia had been born into this life, while Elara had merely stumbled into it by accident.

One afternoon, as the leaves began to change color and the air turned crisp with the first hints of autumn, Elara found herself alone in the library. It was one of her favorite places in the mansion, a quiet refuge where she could lose herself in books and forget, if only for a little while, about the world outside.

She was curled up in an armchair, a thick novel in her lap, when the door to the library creaked open. Elara looked up, her heart sinking as she saw Cassia standing in the doorway.

“Hello, Elara,” Cassia said with a smile, her voice as bright as ever. “I was looking for you.”

Elara forced herself to smile back. “Hi, Cassia. What’s up?”

Cassia walked into the room, her movements graceful and fluid. She seemed to glide across the floor, her dress rustling softly as she approached Elara’s chair.

“I wanted to talk to you,” Cassia said, her tone unusually serious. She sat down in the chair opposite Elara, folding her hands in her lap. “Is that okay?”

Elara nodded, though a part of her wished she could simply disappear. “Sure. What did you want to talk about?”

Cassia hesitated, as if searching for the right words. When she finally spoke, her voice was softer, more tentative than Elara had ever heard it.

“I’ve noticed that you’ve been a bit… distant lately,” Cassia began, her blue eyes searching Elara’s face. “And I was wondering if it’s because of me.”

Elara blinked in surprise. This was not the conversation she had expected to have.

“What do you mean?” Elara asked, though she had a sinking feeling that she already knew.

Cassia sighed, her expression turning earnest. “I mean, ever since I arrived, you’ve seemed different. Quieter, more withdrawn. I just wanted to make sure that I’m not doing something to upset you.”

Elara felt a lump form in her throat, and she looked away, unable to meet Cassia’s gaze. How could she explain the tangled mess of emotions inside her? How could she tell Cassia that her very presence made Elara feel like she was disappearing?