Chapter 5 - Aurora

I'm crazy, I must be. 

I tell my reflection that night. I'd kept my head low when Shane walked in, hiding behind Rae and my books until he wasn't facing my direction anymore, but part of me had still wanted him to look straight at me, as though he knew it was me at the weekend. 

As though I wasn't just a stupid drunken opportunity. 

He didn't even look behind him, not once, I was sat there worrying myself stupid for absolutely nothing. I could hear Jenny stifling a giggle beside me the moment he saw his jacket and I was terrified he'd hear her and turn around, but he just tipped his chair up, kicked at his jacket and stared ahead of him. 

So why do I feel so disappointed?

Maybe I should have taken him back to Danny's with me and then I could have regretted it fully and moved on, without the what ifs and fantasies constantly infiltrating my brain.

"Aurora." My mum's excited voice comes through the door. She knocks twice then bursts straight in. "So… who is he?"

"Who?" 

"Oh, maybe you haven't met him yet." She looks up at the ceiling as though it holds all the answers. "I was doing a tarot reading…"

"Mum." I complain, dropping down onto my bed and rolling my eyes at her.

"I was doing a reading." Her tone gets sharper and she gives me a look that tells me not to interrupt. "And it said you're going to be meeting someone soon, that's if you haven't already." 

"Yeah, ok." I scoff, ignoring the butterflies that flitter to life in my stomach at her words.

"Tall, dark and very handsome." She sits down on my bed, placing her hand over mine and looking at me with excitement and expectation. "A bit of danger too, which as a mother I am heartily against, but as a woman, I say is incredibly arousing."

"Mum." I exclaim, putting my hands over my ears and humming.

"Oh Aurora, come on, you're all grown up now, don't be silly. Ok, fine, I'll stop." She stands up, pressing a kiss to my hair, then, placing her hands either side of my face, she gazes into my eyes as though she's trying to read answers straight from my soul. I force the thoughts of Shane out of my brain in case she can somehow see them in there. "This guy is going to be important, sweetheart, he might just be the one."

"Unlikely." I scoff. Shane's face forces his way to the front of my brain and her eyes flash knowingly, dropping her hands she stands up.

"Give him a chance, he might surprise you, young lady." She winks knowingly. "The guides are saying his name starts with S by the way, and that it's already begun. But you already know that, don't you?"

"I don't believe in it." I grab a book from my table, opening it and feigning a deep interest, but my heart hammers in my chest at what she's said.

Could he really be more than a drunken almost mistake? Of course not, who dates their bully?

"Yes, you do darling." She says wisely, tapping the drawer with my tarot deck and pendulum in it. "Good night, sweet dreams."

As soon as she closes the door, I grab the tarot from my drawer and do a reading, every card points to a new love interest. Shit! I can't be with Shane. Not with our history.

I try again and again, each time it tells me the same thing. 

Frustrated, I pack them away. Staring at the ceiling, trying in vain to get to sleep without thoughts of Shane crossing my mind. 

It'll be someone else, it has to be! 

¥

It's been surprisingly easy to hide from Shane and the others all week, we only have the one class together and other than that there's no risk. The handful of times I saw them in the hallway I managed to duck out of sight until they passed.

Of course it's probably helped that I've had my hair up in a tight bun all week, putting it up wet so it looks almost brown rather than the noticeable orange that stands out in a crowd. 

If only I'd worked out how to hide this well years ago, I might have been able to avoid them back then too!

As the week goes on, I feel more able to forget about what happened and about what my mum said, sure she might be right about me meeting someone, it doesn't mean it's him though, in fact it would make more sense if it was someone else.

I repeat that over and over, especially when I get a confusing twinge of jealousy when I see other girls flirting with him during the lunch period. I try not to stare when Poppy sits down in the chair next to him on Wednesday, almost climbing onto his lap. Then on Thursday Carrie Lawson appears at his table, her hands roaming all over his chest and arms, I've no right to feel jealous, he can do what and whoever he likes, we're nothing to one another, just a meaningless drunken kiss at a party days ago.

So why does it feel so bad when I see him with anyone? I've got problems! I cannot, I will not, have a crush on Shane Woodson!