Chapter Two

I’d slipped out of everything but my hipsters and singlet then sprawled across the only bed left, making sure I took up as much room as possible. Aaron came out a few minutes later, getting himself something to eat before double checking the room’s lights and packing his things for the morning. 

Forcing my breaths into steady, even intakes was hard, especially when I was trying to keep the thrill of my small victory under wraps. But he wiped the smile off my face when he put his sheathed knife on the side table and got in next to me, his legs crushing mine until I was forced to wriggle over and give him room.

"And here I was thinking you were offering.”

"Not if you were the last man on earth!" I hissed back.

He laughed at my easy rise, the sound teetering on forced as he rolled onto his back. The deep notes faded and within minutes he was asleep, leaving me alone and awake, listening to him breathe. The steady sound was louder than the whirling fan above us, louder than the hum of the backup generator, louder than the beat of my own heart, thudding in my ears. It made me want to scream, to pick up my pillow and smother him with it, denying him of oxygen until the infuriating sound finally stopped. 

My resentment over his quiet snores rolled around my mind like darkening clouds until somewhere in the thick of it, the face of my brother appeared, the light in his honey coloured eyes hinting at the surprise he had for me, stashed beneath his bed.

It was early morning when I woke, my heart afloat and my mind buzzing, my senses alive and tingling. I could smell the dirt that clung to our freshly pulled potatoes, the only food we had that wasn't tinned, and the damp musk of Dave's shoes that he'd left to dry by the front door. I could feel the soft currents of air from the low speed fan above me whisper across the invisible hairs on the back of my neck, offsetting the warmth seeping into my shoulders from the arm encircling them. And I could feel the faint thud of a heart, beating in a steady, almost comforting rhythm against my cheek.  

I opened my eyes and froze, Aaron's tattooed chest filling my vision. But as little a movement I'd made, he'd noticed it.

"I need to pee," He said, his voice low.

He withdrew his arm and I bolted from him, removing myself to the other side of the mattress. I watched him pad to the bathroom on silent feet, my heart a jackhammer in my chest as I held the sheets close. The door closed behind him and I let out a breath I hadn't realised I was holding. 

It was only a minute, maybe two when the door handle turned and Aaron reappeared, walking strait by me to get dressed. He  re-checked the lights, rinsed the handful of bowls that were in the sink from yesterday then dumped his re-packed bag next to Dave's shoes. He glanced at me a couple times but never said anything. He just kept his distance and went about his business as if nothing had happened.

Breakfast passed in the same tight lipped silence, then finally, it was time to go. 

I stood halfway between the cream building of boarded up rooms and our car, surprised that I felt a prickle of nostalgia. I wasn't one to attach myself to places, but four days was the longest we'd stayed in any one spot since we'd been with the boys, and it was hard not to associate the dingy motel with the same feelings as a home. 

I looked away from the number three door and allowed myself a small smile. Lillith had woken up happy this morning. It was the best mood she'd been in for months and I'd forgotten how much I'd missed her grin. And it was all because of Dave. I inhaled a satisfied breath and looked up at the sky. 

The expanse above us was a gorgeous shade of blue, and if I kept my back to the bruised streaks of violet forcing their way from the south, I could almost forget the impending doom hurtling towards us.

"You okay?" Lillith asked, stopping beside me. Her almost waist length hair was down, neatly brushed and pushed back over her shoulders.

"Yeah. Tired is all." 

Tired of running from the Sades and their Shadow Men. Tired of seeing their victories heralded in the darkening sky and the used bodies left in their wake. Tired of missing Nick, of not knowing where he was or if he was even alive anymore and tired of feeling like a pale skinned, violet eyed freak.

"Didn't sleep well, huh?"

I shook my head. Last night was the best sleep I'd had since leaving our home, nestled safely behind the giant walled cities of Light in the North, but I wasn't about to tell her that. I could barely admit it to myself. "How about you?"

Her face softened and her eyes lit up like I'd never seen. "Good. Really good."

"I'm glad," I said, threading my fingers through hers. 

"Thank you."

"For what?" 

"Swapping beds with Dave. I know how much you must've hated it."

I snorted. "It’s not like I had a choice. He was already passed out by the time I finished with Aaron."

"Yeah you did. You could've woke him but you didn't."

I hesitated. "He cares for you, you know."

"I know," she said, a light shade of pink kissing her cheeks. "I... I care for him too."

"Just care, huh?"

She laughed and it felt like my heart might burst. 

I slipped her bag from her shoulder and tossed it into the tray of the ute with mine. "Tell Dave he's got the back with you." 

"No Fayle, it's -"

"I like seeing you happy. I've missed it. And if putting up with cranky pants is all it takes for that to happen a little more, then I'm all for it."

She side stepped infront of me and gave me a hug, surprising me with how hard she held on. "Thankyou."

I nodded, unable to stop the wave of guilt flooding through me. If she knew how much I'd told Aaron last night... Her thanks would be the last thing she'd give me. Then again, she wasn't ashamed of what we could do, not like me.

"Hurry up and get in," Aaron snapped, walking towards us as if my very thoughts had summoned him from the direction of the reception desk.

Lillith let me go, sparing a moment to flash me a sympathetic look before waving Dave over, greeting him with a smile that threatened to split her glowing face. 

"What was that about?" Aaron asked, pulling on his seat belt with more force than necessary.

I shut my door and did the same. "Nothing."

His grip tightened on the steering wheel, sending his knuckles white as the back doors slammed shut behind us.

"What? Does every one of my conversations fall within your control freak jurisdiction now?" He relaxed his grip enough to let go and bring the engine to life. I let out a frustrated sigh and kept my voice low. "I offered to sit up front so they could spend more time together. He makes her happy, which makes me happy. Even if it means putting up with you."

He shook his head as he glanced out the rear view mirror, checking one last time before pulling out of the deserted parking lot and onto the bitumen road. I watched him a moment more then glued my eyes forward. If silence was what he wanted, then silence is what I'd give him.

"Did the owner give you any trouble?" I asked, finally breaking our hour and a half of silence. I'd thought I could play this game of his but the air between us had reached a point where it was threatening to suffocate me to death, and it didn't help that the other two were ignoring us, keeping their voices at a whisper so they had an excuse to practically sit in each other’s laps.  

"No, though it’s getting harder to pay with cash. They want bulbs and food, not paper."

"It was only a matter of time," I said, studying the band of light encircling us from the rack bolted to the roof.

"A fist or two would work just as well. Faster too."

"I know."

"Then why the tantrums over not using them?"

"I can always get more money. Everyone has a price, no matter how much they like to think otherwise, even these days. That and they only have the one face."

"Says the shoot now ask later girl."

"Shadow Men are different. I'd never hurt one of us that way. Not with so few of us left."

"We're all the same underneath, they're just not in control anymore."

"If Shadow Men were the same as us, their souls would stay with them," I said, staring out the window again, "and Lillith wouldn't have to listen to them begging for help every time she took her ring off."

"So you're saying that if Lillith or your brother were taken, finding them would be a waste of time."

"No, I'm saying they're not the same as us underneath, not once they’re taken by a shade."

"Rendering their rescue pointless."

I wanted to hit him, so hard it made his teeth hurt. “I'd find a way to save them,” I said, folding my arms in an effort of self control. 

He snorted at me. “What makes you think you could free someone from a Shade without killing them when no one else can? Not city folk, free folk or even the Scorchers can do it. Once you're Taken you’ll never be free again until you're dead. You know that as well as I do.”

"As long as I had breath in my body I'd search for a way, and if in the end that meant trading my soul for theirs, then that's what I'd do."

"Why?" He asked, pulling off onto a dirt track.

I shrugged. "Lillith comes first and she needs Nick more than she needs me." Our older brother always made her smile, and he could protect her a heck of a lot better than I could. 

Aaron nodded but kept his eyes on the road and his thoughts to himself.

"How far away are we from our next stop?" I asked, my eyes focusing on a chink in our armour.

"Half an hour. Forty minutes maybe."

"Damn it. Pull over."

"Are you nuts?"

"I said pull over! One of our lights are out!"

"Where?"

"Rear left."

"The same damn one that went last week," He said, coming to a stop in the middle of the road. "What are you doing?" 

"What does it look like I’m doing?"

He grabbed my arm, forcing me to stay put. "You’re not going out there."

"Yes I am!" I snapped back, pulling free of him.

"What's going on?" Dave asked, his stubbled face appearing between our seats.

"Your idiot cousin is trying to stop me from changing a bulb up top."

"It's too dangerous. I'll do it."

"You have to stand on the ground, I can climb up top. You know there's more shadows below then above."

"She has a point," Dave said, agreeing with me.

"No she doesn't!"

"Just let her go," Lillith said, smooshing her face in next to Dave's. "You know there's no stopping her once she's made up her mind."

"And so the consensus wins," I said, amused by the string of profanities following me out my open window.

I grabbed hold of the blazing circle of light welded to the roof, using it to hold my weight as I shuffled across the side of the car and into the open tray. I undid the blown bulb, keeping my eyes on the ground as much as I kept them on my hands as I twisted it loose. It popped free of its socket and I dropped it into the open bag at my feet. 

I squinted, the eye scorching light from the other bulbs making the pools of shadow beside us difficult to see. Host-less Shades stayed hidden during the lighter hours, even beneath their violet sky, but that didn't mean you wouldn't come across the occasional desperado, willing to risk everything for a shot at owning human flesh. I dropped the piece of clothing that protected the new bulb into the bag and paused, frozen by the shiver running down my spine. 

"What's wrong?" Aaron called from the front.

"We've got company!" I yelled back, feeling the familiar kick of adrenaline pump through my veins.

The car lurched forward and the new bulb slipped from my fingers, shattering on the fast moving ground below. Losing a bulb was almost as bad as losing a man and I'd be kicking myself for it later, but for now, I had a Shadow Man to dispose of.

The land to my right had nothing but calf high grass, as brittle as it was yellow, but the left harboured a thick mass of half dead forest, less than six foot away. A man on foot had broken free of his hiding spot and was gunning it after us, running at an impossible speed. 

I didn't need to see the light sucking black surrounding his pupils, annihilating the whites of his eyes to know what he was. I could tell by the way his arms jerked as he bounded towards us, closing the gap between hunter and prey. I slipped my gun from the holster strapped to my thigh and let off three rounds the same instant the front tire ran a hole, jarring my shots and sending them wide.

"Keep it steady!" 

I regained my footing between the bags, aimed, then took another two shots. One hit his upper arm, the other his shoulder, but he kept coming, unfazed by the gushing holes. I shifted my weight onto my other foot and grinned. I might not have stopped him, but the Thornblood dipped bullets had punctured him, binding shade and host to the same satisfying fate. I fired one last time, hitting him strait between his soulless eyes.

He fell to a quivering mass on the ground and I hit the top of the roof twice, letting Aaron know we were alone again. The green Ute slowed to a crawl, but didn't stop. I slipped my gun back into it's waiting home and dropped to a crouch, searching the nearest bags for the extra bulb the boys had brought back with the new food supplies. The adrenalin rush had left me breathless and shaky, but I needed to fix the light. The longer it was out, the longer we had a direct, unlit path to the car.

I found the precious ball of glass and stood, pulling it free of the torn shirt. I reached up and twisted it in, a second before I slammed into the back window. I fell to the tray in a gasping heap, the pain in my crushed chest threatening to suck me into oblivion. I forced back the dizzying blackness and made myself roll onto my back, saving myself from the booted heel denting the spot my head had just been.

I lashed out, my foot connecting with the side of a knee cap as I fumbled for my gun. The leg gave way beneath the impact and the wretch landed on top of me, its loose hair blinding me as razor sharp teeth sunk into the front of my bare shoulder. A scream exploded in my ears, burning my throat. My frantic fingers brushed leather and my gun slid free. I angled it upwards, wedging it against a scrawny rib cage as I filled it with the last of my bullets. 

It - she - pulled back, the oily pools of her black eyes sucking me in, paralysing me until her blood drenched body fell slack, taking my consciousness with her.