Back to Reality!

I was in my final semester at Stanford, then I would be on my way home to the B&B my nan bought and renovated back in Oregon. I came to Stanford thinking I would have a job waiting for me when I finished and a boyfriend by my side. And hey, we would get married as soon as we graduated and have 2.4 children, or whatever the average was at the moment. 

It was 2025, and my reality hadn’t changed; I was the same Plain Jane the kids used to tease in high school in Iowa, who then moved to Oregon, and the very same one who was currently studying at Stanford. No one noticed me, and no one really spoke to me apart from my roommate, Lucy, who was everything I wasn’t. She was the popular one. Her hazel eyes and Japanese heritage, small frame and stylish fashion made me feel as if she was the pretty one. I just had dark hair and matching eyes. There was nothing special about me. 

As I sat on my side of the dorm room - the side had a few famous quotes of literature and little else: a desk, chair, and bed – I noticed it was totally unlike Lucy’s which looked as if it was in an Ikea show home. “Errh,” I screamed at the screen.

“What’s up, Kiara? You trying to write your thesis?” Lucy laughed as I knocked my head on my wooden desk.

Writing my thesis would be a lot better than what I was doing right now. 

“Nope, even worse. I’m trying to write to the guys.”

She giggled, as she quickly rushed to the other side of the room to grab her chair, then she sat beside me. “What? The hot SEALs? I can’t believe you took three email addresses and not just one. You need to be stop being so hard on yourself. Anyway, I’m proud of you, girl!”

I winked at her. “Well, I learned from the best. My best friend, and roomie, has three boyfriends, and when I saw how happy all three of them made her, I thought, why not!”

“Very funny. But the difference between my three boyfriends and yours, is that they’re on campus, and not millions of miles away in the field, protecting our country.”

I shook my head as I watched her face light up. Depending on the reflection of the light on her eyes, they could appear to be green on one side or light brown on the other. She had a few blonde highlights in her hair, mainly in her overgrown bangs, which she pushed back as she pulled her hair band over her head, so she was 100% concentrating on helping me.

“Yeah, I’m done with college boys, Lucy. You can have them. Hey, you can even turn your harem from one guy to seven. You could be with a different guy every day of the week.”

She shook her head. “You’re not funny. I don’t even remember you starting with college guys, let alone giving them up. Besides, my pussy would seize up having so many guys; it’s hard enough with just three. That’s just too much loving.”

I shrugged. “I suppose.”

“You know, between your long, dark hair, smoking dark eyes, bouncy boobs, and a butt that most men would love to pinch all day, you shouldn’t sell yourself short,” Lucy said as she summed me up in one sentence. She saw something completely different in my reflection every morning.

I was confused, because she made me sound sexy, which was something I was sure wasn’t possible.

“Moi?”

She laughed. “Can you stop being so insecure about yourself for once. Please?”

I nodded my head. Yeah, she was right. I needed to stop being so down on myself. 

“The only reason you can’t figure out what to write, is because you know they are men you will never see. It’s not a case of you wanting nothing to do with college boys. You just think of them as little boys running around and being horny twenty-four seven.”

I sighed. “Yeah, I think that, because it’s exactly what they are.”

I paused, thinking about my friend and her harem. “Then again, as much as I hate to say it, you’re not much better than them.”

I quickly dodged the pillow she grabbed from my bed, threw at me, and missed hitting me with. I shut my MacBook Air in case it got caught in the crossfire. 

“Take that back.”

I laughed. “Yeah, I know. Until you came to college, no one looked at you twice. You didn’t have one boyfriend, let alone three.”

She smiled as she heard me apologize in a roundabout way.

After my dad died while serving nearly five years ago, I remembered he’d told me so often that my letters were the only things which kept him going. I’d explained it to Lucy more than enough times. I talked about my dad a lot more than I did about the rest of my family. Dad’s side of the family disappeared once he died; it was as if they didn’t want to know us. Mom was an only child just like Nan, so we became a unit, not talking to any of his family, and Mom never really having anyone on her side of the family. 

“I just don’t get why you picked three. Why not just one?”

I winked. “I was, drunk, bored, or horny, or a combination of all three, when I saw the notification online and responded to all three. I don’t know. Three just felt like the magic number.”

She smiled, and then she fanned herself. “That makes sense. I get you. Loneliness is a bitch at the best of times. I used to feel that way all the time, until I got out of my shell and realized the only reason I was lonely, was because I didn’t let anyone get close to me.”

“Is that a hint?”

She avoided my eyes, and I shook my head in my defense. “Well, it worked out for you. Now, you’re a little sex kitten.”

“Yeah, but let’s face it, we’re in our final year, close to being in our last semester. Isn’t that what college life is all about? Having new experiences and then leaving and going out into the real world. What’s the likelihood of things staying how they are when it’s all over and done?”

“Don’t be a Debbie Downer. Shoot, that’s me. Always putting a damper on things.” I clapped my hands, swiftly lightening the mood. “Which one is it tonight?”

I flirted with her, and tugged at her denim skirt, which was so cute with its gold beads she’d added to the side. She was a designer at heart but an Economics major in practice. Her dad said if she came to Stanford to get a degree, then he would support her in whatever dream she had after she got her degree. That didn’t stop her from trying out new things and going to every design show here. And that was only part of the deal, as long as she married the guy they chose for her too. 

“Ben. We’re going to the fashion show five blocks from here. You could come if you like?” She raised an eyebrow. 

“Fashion and I don’t get along. You know that.”

“I thought we were changing the mood; here you go again!” She rolled her eyes. “You have me as a roomie, and I’ve been making sure that you flow like the rest of the fashion freaks like me. Anyway, been great catching up. Some of us have plans that don’t involve staying indoors on a Saturday night. Think about what you’re going to say, and send it please!” She said as she whisked around the room, picked up her purse and phone, and shoved a few condoms in her purse. “Don’t wait up!”

I laughed, thinking it would be the last thing I was planning to do tonight. As the door shut, I knew what I had to do. Not write to one of them, but all three. The question was, who to write to first. And what started as a good idea, was slowly turning into a bad one.

* * *

I could pinch myself. No, I could fucking die. After Lucy left, I decided the only way to solve my writer’s block was wine and food.

If there was such a thing as self-control, I’d failed miserably. A couple of glasses of wine led to finishing the bottle. Amid that came cravings for pepperoni pizza. I ordered a medium, because they had a special offer, and I was on a budget. But then I ended up eating nearly all of it. Lucy would be proud. She was always telling me that if I was going to indulge, make sure to relish it! Everything in moderation. Just sometimes, I should indulge and not worry about my figure, but relish the food! 

Still suffering from writer’s block, I gave in to a different hunger and got out the dildo. I thought in all the craziness that I would do some exercise. I wasn’t a jogger, nor a cardio-circuit kind of girl, but I loved lying on the bed and having the satisfaction that I needed between the sheets.

I was like a cat in heat. 

No, more like three cats in heat as I nearly broke Rambo. It gave me the inspiration which I needed to type, and then I couldn’t stop typing after I came, not only once, but twice. I knew exactly what I wanted to say, and I didn’t hesitate in expressing myself in all the wrong ways. 

This wasn’t good for an introduction. I basically solicitated myself online in the space of a few lines. 

Hey Sexy SEAL Adonis,

Let me tell you all about myself.

No, I won’t. That’s boring, and if I did then you definitely wouldn’t write back to me. Hell, I wouldn’t write back to me. 

My names Kiara, but my ex called me Kinky Kiara. Why?

Wouldn’t you love to know? 

If you would, then write me back, and let’s talk some more. 

Kinky Kiara.

Aka KK

I woke-up and saw that my Inbox was flashing on my phone. Rambo was still in my hand, which meant that I would not be sitting down again today. I was sore. Really sore. As if I’d been sitting on a horse for hours on end. It galloped up and down, on and on, and didn’t slow down. No, it just went on, and on. 

Thank goodness it was Sunday, and I didn’t have to go to class. Otherwise, I couldn’t go to one class today. This was going to be a painful day, but I could lie down for most of it. I just hoped that we had some ice in our freezer, so I could put it in between my legs and scream the whole dorm down. No one would even think that I was being attacked, due to me being in a dorm and that was one of the familiar sounds all day and night on the weekends. Someone would probably cheer me on, another would scream out to keep the noise down. Sometimes, I wondered if we did really live in a dorm or a brothel?

I couldn’t believe that I’d emailed not once, but three times. I'd copied and pasted the email. I just hoped that I had at least remembered to change their names!

Please God, if you love me enough, then you would have reminded me to change their names! Or even better, done it for me.

I dropped Rambo on the floor, which felt like a second skin, because I’d been squeezing him a little too tightly. Then I shifted to the side of my bed. Thank goodness Lucy wasn’t around to witness this, or I wouldn’t have heard the end of it for days. Then, I blinked and opened then closed my eyes as I looked at the first email.

The subject had changed, and I realized he’d strongly disapproved about what I had sent.

Subject: KK

Hi Kiara,

I love your nickname and the idea that you want to share it with me in our first email. Most women that write tell me their name, and then further down the line, the conversations get more intimate. Then it depends how it goes after the first few emails. 

But with you…

There was no holding back. 

I don’t know whether to be flattered or insulted by it?

Flattered in the sense that you want to get down and dirty online.

Insulted that you feel that is all men want.

Seriously, I just want someone to talk to. It’s been a tough week. 

I hope that your email was done while drunk, and most likely high, seeing as you’re in college. If you want to have a decent conversation and start again, then here I am.

Adonis.

I sighed as I tilted my head to the side. 

Arrh.

It was the sweetest and kindest email that I’d ever received, and it made me want to reply to him after I had a shower. I felt guilty about being so worried and completely messing up my first email to him, but then he’d been so kind in his reply. Yes, I needed to stop being so hard on myself and just go with the flow. 

I found myself stuck on the bed as my inbox flashed, showing that there was another email coming through. I was worrying that the next reply might not be as kind and nice as the one that I just received from Adonis.

Subject: WTF

Whoever you are, this is not funny! 

I don’t know who Adonis is, and you really need to work on your English. I mean, what are you studying in college? Japanese? 

There were so many damn symbols in the email, that I was about to put it in the trash before I got to the messed-up email you sent to Adonis.

Shit!

I scrolled to the bottom to see what email he was talking about. And this was what I found:

Hey %$·”·””·&//(Adonis,

$”!””!”·$%%veryone calls me Kiara. /&%$$·Kinky Kiara(//&%&%

Wouldn’t you love to know. 

&%$···””))(/(write me back &/&%$$·”·”Kinky Kiara.

Oh my God!

No!

Not only did I manage not to change his name, but somewhere during all the craziness, I didn’t even bother to do a descent copy and paste. Even I didn’t understand why there were so many symbols. Maybe I did that when I was masturbating at the same time and it hit the keyboard? And got sent as if it was an encrypted message or something? One thing is for sure, Chaz will not be writing back to me, not now, not never. I’d swiftly gone from having three sexy SEALs to write to, to only one. 

The other email address wasn’t right, and it was sent back as an error. I was in a mess. Not only because I was all wound up about writing to them, but how it all ended with me only having one SEAL to write to, and in dire need of a shower, and no more drinking this week. I shook my head, thinking no more drinking for a month at least was necessary.

I needed to check myself, big time. Oh, and write back to Adonis. Lucy was right. I didn’t need to write to three; one would do.