Jumping, I would have fallen forward without the chain. The whip hits my ass, making me moan. That is why he has the lead held tight. When he whipped me, my body flew forward. If he didn’t have hold, I would have gone. Moaning, I stay bent over, waiting. His silence makes the anticipation higher. I feel myself slowly slip into my subspace, my mind clearing of everything.
Jumping from the sting of the whip, I moan. I can’t help but smile, knowing that just a few rooms away his favourite whip is waiting to be opened.
The whip continues to hit, my moans growing as they get harder. My mind reminds me of the cameras. As panic rises inside me at the thought of people watching, it is quickly muted as the rest of me craves it, craves knowing what they would do with me, and what they were thinking about watching me. His whip hits again, hard. Moaning, I almost fall forward again, the collar holding me in place.
His hand strokes up my back, the
I don’t want to beg, but I feel I need to. I can’t hold back much longer. “Please, Daddy.” My words are quiet. His fingers move faster and my screams get louder. “Please, Daddy, please.” My teeth bite down on my lip. Moaning, I can’t stop myself. “Please what, Kitten?” His voice is soft against my ear, his tone amused and turned on at me begging. “Please let me finish Daddy, please.” Begging I hope he agrees. He begins to chuckle louder. His fingers move faster and the electric shocks get more intense. “I want to make you squirt, Kitten. I want them to see my Kitten squirt.” My head shakes. It is working. If I relax, I am gone and finished. “If I say no, what will happen, Kitten?” What will happen? I will say ‘peach’. I will end it all because there is no way I can continue, no way I can go through more and hold off the orgasm. “I will say the safe word, Daddy. I can’t take anymore.” My words are slow an
Waking up with the familiar scream, my body instantly reacts to the dream, trying to stop myself, but I can’t. Walking down the stairs, I feel a sense of change: something in the dream has changed. I can feel my body stiffen up as the phone rings. The same voice, the same words, everything is the same. A vision shows Jackson standing there and I hear the sound of the gun. I see him falling to the floor. Just as I do, I scream, trying to wake up. I can’t wake up. I’m lying on the floor screaming, the image of Jackson bleeding in my mind yet I can’t get to him. Why has the dream changed? Why Jackson and why now? My body lurches upwards, still screaming. Jackson’s hands are shaking me as if he is trying to wake me. Marcus is standing at the door. My whole body is cold and shaking. If there is anything worse than the dream of me being shot and unable to wake, it is Jackson being shot and me being unable to wake from it. My body automatically goes to get out the bed and check on the
Okay, saying he can’t be naughty was a bad idea. He can be, and right now he is and I love it. So right now, my options are to either go over and take control and take what I want, tease him and beg him, or walk away and have to deal with it like a big girl. Truth is though, it has been ages since I teased him, since I climbed on him and just pleasured him. Looking at him smiling, I start walking to the bed. He is just sitting there with a towel draped over him, still wet. He is doing this on purpose and he knows he is. Crawling along the bed, my tongue gently licks my lips. His eyes are watching me as I pull his towel off his body, throwing it onto the floor. “What can I do for you, Kitten?” Mmm, what can he do for me? Well, a lot, but right now I want nothing from him other than him surrendering. “I want to please you for a change. You to surrender to me just for fifteen, twenty minutes.” Smiling at him, I move further up
Grabbing my clothes, I get dressed quickly. I take the whip out of the drawer. Now, where do I hide it? Looking around, I have no idea. It has to be in here for my plan to work. Looking around, I decide the best option is going to be, as weird as it sounds, under the bed. Nothing is under there and if I hide it at my side, right at the top near the bedside cabinet, it should stay unfound. All the toys we use in here are in his bedside cabinet. Placing it there, I walk out, feeling happy with myself. Getting downstairs, I find Jackson sitting with the girls. The tree is in the corner, still wrapped and waiting to be put up. Food first. I need food. Walking to the kitchen, I begin cooking. I can’t help but wonder where Marcus is. I need to apologise for shouting at him this morning. I hope he has not gone out. Finishing cooking, I begin to get plates out of the cupboard. Marcus walks in. My heart stops when I see him. Last night floods
Following her to our usual room, I sit down, waiting for her to begin. Today is going to be a fun session. “Okay, so let’s start off where we were last time. How are you getting on with the tasks I set you?” Certainly, and it helped. I feel awkward talking about this with Marcus so close by. “Yes, I am okay now. I have no issues with Jackson or anyone else touching me. It was actually a lot easier than I expected it to be.” My eyes keep looking towards the door, and she can tell. “How are things with you and Jackson, any issues?” I would say fine, but are they? Am I just fooling myself into believing that we are fine? “I don’t know. I would like to say yes, but after everything, I just don’t know.” She begins writing and looks up at me, smiling gently. “Why would things not be okay, Alena?” Do I have to tell her this? Can I just say something feels off, or would that be worse than telling the truth? “I s
Getting home, it is nearly four. Walking in, Jackson is cooking tea while the girls are sitting and playing in the playroom. Jackson turns and smiles as we walk through the door. “How did it go, Kitten?” Wiping his hands, he walks towards me, his arms wrapping around me as his lips press against mine. He seems happier. “Good, it helped as always, so thank you for making me realise I needed to speak to someone about everything.” Kissing him back, I smile. I need to now help him move on, help him realise it isn’t his fault and he needs to stop blaming himself. I would say Marcus as well but I don’t think that would be such a good idea. “Do me a favour, Kitten. Go tell Marcus I need him, and then can you sit with the girls while we talk?” Nodding, I walk upstairs. Reaching Marcus’ door, I stand looking at it. Do I knock? Walk in? Talk from this side. What do I do? Raising my hand, I gently knock on the door. He doesn’t answer. Maybe I was t
“No sight or sound, Kitten, not for this.” His hands slide up my neck and put in the earpieces, making the whole place fall quiet. He is talking, I know he is. His lips are kissing mine. Moaning, my hands go to wrap around him and pull him to me. Hands stop me - not Jackson’s because his are still on my neck; Marcus’s hands. I feel the rope wrap around them tightly. The rope pulls on the skin. Jackson moves away, his hands releasing me. The rope pulls, guiding me to walk. My hands are lifted up and I feel the rope being tied around the bar above my head. Marcus’s hands slide down my arms. A moan escapes my lips at the feel of his touch. His fingers run over my shoulders and collarbone down to my breasts. His hands grasp them both. Moaning, I try pushing them closer to them. The feel of the clamps going onto them is one I enjoy. Marcus still grasps them tight, so Jackson is the one putting the clamps on. Once on, the feel of rope
Starting from where they left off with the tongue teasing my clit, my moans cause them to whip me. My wetness grows as his fingers begin moving faster, the whip hitting against my ass and breast harder and faster, and my body is ready to let go. I feel myself relaxed, ready to let the orgasm take over. “Yellow.” Saying the word, I remind myself not to finish yet. “Close to the edge.” My words are quiet as I pant. The fingers slow down and the whips get gentler, pulling me away from the edge. My moans get quieter. Once they are satisfied I won’t orgasm instantly, they start again, the fingers moving harder and faster, his tongue moving quicker, my screams getting louder and with each one, the whips start. Moaning, I can’t help but wonder who is who in this whole scene but at the same time I don’t want to know. The fingers slowly come to a stop. My hands are untied from the ceiling and my body is lifted, carried across the room. I know it is
Sitting, we talk about the wedding and her plans, ideas and what she wants. “So, I have kept quiet for an hour, talk.” Looking at her, I know what she means but I am not sure I want to talk about it, yet I haven’t really spoken about it. “I don’t know what to say. It has happened and now I am trying my best to move forward.” I am. It is hard but I am slowly getting there. “Well, talk to me about the last few minutes with him, because the first I heard of what was said was in the church.” Sitting, I talk about those last moments, explaining how it was then that I realised just how much I loved him. It was still nothing compared to how much I love Jackson, but it is still a lot more than I admitted to before. Sitting, it actually feels nice talking to Georgina. When I am trying to talk to Jackson, I am scared my feelings for Marcus might hurt him. “Anyway, Liam mentioned the will. I am guessing that was a shock.” Nodding, it was, and no amount of time will make it feel alright
Sitting, we wait for the solicitor. When he arrives, we sit down to discuss everything. Everyone is happy with the will and we each sign. It feels weird. My signature just made me have 1.8 million pounds for the business, but if it helps women and men who suffer domestic abuse, why not? Everyone leaves and we sit down to eat tea. Our bags are packed ready to leave. “I was thinking, I know the will stated for the business, but could it be used to support other people, not just those who suffered domestic abuse?” Looking at him, he shrugs his shoulders. “I am not sure. The money will be paid into the business account, but I guess it depends on what you were thinking about?” How do I explain this? My mind finds the words and tries to get them in the right order so that it makes sense. “I want to do something similar but for those who have lost someone in the army, navy or similar, or through cases like Marcus’s.” I want something there to support these people, the ones like me who d
The day has been tiring. Getting home with the bags, I am ready for bed. We spent hours walking around shops getting the things we needed. The girls practically have a full wardrobe of holiday clothes thanks to Jackson. Getting in, we get the girls ready for bed. Sitting together, I read them a story each, the ones Marcus bought them with their own names in. Finishing, we put them in their cots. Walking out, we close the door quietly as they fall asleep. “I was thinking, Liam and Georgina were asking about the holiday and coming along. I understand if you say no. They will be in a hut away from us, but Georgina suggested they come for one or two nights there. They would have the girls for us.” It sounds like a good idea, us all together but separate. We could maybe even get a girls’ night in with me and Georgina, and Jackson and Liam can go out. “What about Helen? Sorry, your mum.” She isn’t well, and I don’t like the idea of her flying or being left alone. “I am going to pay f
Opening the drawers, I pull out his clothes. Folding them, I put them in a suitcase. With all his clothes away, I move onto one of the trunks. Opening it, I am shocked. It is a range of toys, all different. I had no idea he had brought it all here, but it has me wondering, would he have been sitting looking at these wishing he could use them with me? Does he have a favourite like Jackson? Getting to the bottom, there is not much in here, just his own toys, whips and things. Putting it back, I don’t even know what we would do with these. Opening another trunk, there is an envelope on top. Opening it, I start to read it. Marcus is divorced. He told us they were going through it but never mentioned it being made official. Putting it to the side, I find more letters, nothing important. Then I see a solicitor one, with the word ‘Will’ on it. I won’t open this. I can’t. Placing it to the side, I leave it for Jackson. Another envelope, this one with my name on. It isn’t small; it is b
Jackson is standing with a woman, one of Marcus’s submissives. She looks upset and hurt, not like Maria. Standing, I watch. They stand talking, her eyes filled with tears. It just shows how amazing Marcus was and how loveable. The rest of the day goes ahead slowly. Sure enough, Maria left after Troy told her she had no right to be there. Jackson spent most of his time by my side. The team were amazing and constantly checking on me. Getting home, the girls are already in bed. Helen hugs us before saying bye and leaving with Liam and Georgina. I don’t feel like I have said goodbye. With everyone there, I couldn’t say what I wanted without some asking questions. It still feels weird here without Marcus around us. Sitting at the table, I now understand what he meant. I did the same thing the past week: me pretending my life didn’t exist. Jackson sits opposite me and his hands grasp mine. “You are the only person he told that to, you know? I checked. None of us knew why he stared i
Walking downstairs, everyone is here: the whole team, Marcus’s other friends, and a few women. I don’t know who they are yet I feel I want to know. Walking to Jackson’s side, he wraps his arm around me. “We should walk around and say hi. I will introduce you to people he knew that you have not met.” Nodding, I agree. I should know who these people are. “How will you introduce me? What will you introduce me as in regard to Marcus and exactly how much do the team know?” Jackson turns, looking at me in surprise. Whether that is at my questions or the fact that is the most I have spoken in days, I don’t even know. “Well, I will introduce you as my wife and the closest person to Marcus before he passed. The team know everything. I had to tell them about it all. Explaining why you are this broken by him dying would not work by lying, Alena.” The closet person to Marcus…he used to be the closet person to Marcus. Had that changed? We start walking around the room, Jackson introducing
Jackson walks back through towards me. Turning on the kettle, he grabs two cups. “She doesn’t want to do anything. She said it is up to the team to plan his funeral.” As I thought, she does not care about him at all, not even now in his death. “I want to help with the funeral.” Maybe helping will help me. I don’t even know if it will but surely it is worth a try? Jackson hands me the cup of tea. Walking to the sofa, we sit, his arm around me. “I don’t want you to be strong for me, Alena. Yes, I am hurting, a lot, but seeing you broken is what is keeping me going. I can’t be weak when you need me.” I don’t even know what to say anymore. I just want to hide away. “Whatever you want, Alena. Whatever you need to get you through this, I will do.” I don’t even know what I want or need right now. “Marcus mentioned a plan for that night, something for me. What exactly was it?” Maybe knowing this will help. Maybe it won’t but I won’t know until I ask. “Well, I heard you talking to hi
He walks back in. Sitting next to me, his hand grips mine. “Alena, you didn’t let him down and you certainly did not kill him. Remember his last words: that he was happy because of you and no one else. You made him happy. That should be enough for you to realise.” Nodding, I agree. He did say that. “It won’t help bring him back, though, and he still died because of me. Everyone will hate me. I saw the way Troy looked at me. He tried smiling and couldn’t. Even he blames me.” What a year this has started out to be: New Year’s Day and we already have a death. “Stay here.” Jackson walks out. I see him talking to the team. They all look towards me and then back to Jackson. Walking back to me, Jackson is followed by them all. Walking into the room, I prepare myself for their abuse and the blame. “Alena, we don’t blame you at all. I tried smiling. The only reason I couldn’t is because you look more hurt and broken by this than any of
Everyone walks in. The police come, asking me questions. I can see their lips moving but there is no sound, no sound just silence and Marcus’s last words on replay. I watch as Troy, Alexander and the other lads come in, all staring at me, unsure what to say. Jackson gives me space. My heart breaks seeing every one of their faces, the pain of the loss. Hours pass by, everyone walking around and talking but I take none of it in. “Alena, go get a shower. Please, do something.” Jackson kneels in front of me, but I can’t move. I can’t go away. I can’t do it. “I don’t know how to help her.” Jackson’s words are quiet. No one can help. Marcus has gone. I watched it myself. He isn’t coming back. This isn’t like Jackson, where there is nobody, no proof. I saw the body, felt it drain of blood and turn cold in my hands. “Marcus would be the one to tell me what to do.” Jackson’s head lowers. Marcus was more than his friend, and his brot