A minute later he comes out with a bag. I am intrigued as to what it is. Getting in the car, he puts the bag next to him. My hand reaches over to grab it but his hands stop mine.
“What is in the bag?” I look at him with a million questions.
“Nothing for you, Kitten, don’t worry.”
Then who is it for? What can he possibly get from a sex shop for someone else? Maybe Liam, in which case I don’t want to know so I won’t even ask again.
“So, I don’t want to push but the date, any idea?”
He starts driving. Looking over, I shake my head.
“I will wait till we get home. I will check online and see. Hopefully, the date comes back what I want it to.”
Looking at the scan picture, I can’t help but wonder what if the baby is Marcus’s?
“And what date would that be?”
Does he even have to ask? Does he really think I would want Marcus to be the dad?
“I am shocked you even have to ask that. What do you think?” Looking
Walking upstairs to the office, I sit down. Going through paperwork, I try to concentrate but I just can’t, my mind constantly asking me why I am delaying finding out. Why am I delaying it? I could find out now and just not say anything until the girls are in bed, but then that would be wrong. I can’t hide the truth from Jackson. I know I wouldn’t be able to look him in the eyes knowing he’s the dad and not tell him, and it would break my heart seeing him if I knew he wasn’t. So, it waits until tonight. Sitting, I get into the paperwork, trying to forget everything. Right now would be a good time for Jackson to help me into my subspace. That is one good thing that came from today for sure - the baby is fine so we can use the playroom again. Nothing considered edge play, or too rough, but still, I can have some things in there. I feel tired. Leaning my head against my arm, I close my eyes, the thought of today just making me exhausted
His hands guide me across the room. I am excited yet at the same time, I know it won’t be the same. He won’t use the paddle as hard and he won’t whip me with the whip. He will use the pinwheel at least, but there is a long list of no’s he has in his mind. His hands pull mine above my head, tying the rope around my wrists. I can move whereas usually my arms are stretched straight up with no freedom to move them at all. “Remember, you get tired or your body gets tired, you tell me, no matter what, Alena.” Nodding, I agree, but I know how hard it will be for me to tell him to stop when I become tired. His mouth gently caresses mine, slowly kissing down my neck. His hand grasps my breast as he keeps moving down, his fingers running down my skin. Everything is heightened with every little touch. I can feel so much more. His hand stops just at the bottom of my back, his mouth kissing against my pubic bone. His hand slaps down on my ass, making m
He smiles at me, his finger stroking along my cheek. “Just because you’re pregnant, doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy sex. You can. I just need to tease you a lot with words and thoughts of what we have done before.” Looking up at him, I smile. “Oh, you did that already. Just teasing me with your words made me wet.” His slight chuckle is full of humour. “I did. Maybe tomorrow I will play one of the videos for you. Mmm, which one shall I put on?” Oh, now that would be amazing! “What do you mean which one?” Looking at him, I sense there are more than just two. “Well, every time we have been in here since you agreed to live stream is recorded and that time at work is also recorded, all for you. Beforehand at least one camera was always on recording, that was for safety though, not pleasure hence only one camera before.” Oh, now that sounds good. “The time at work, as in the Christmas party? If so, it has to be that one.” I don’
While I am cooking, I hear him walking down the stairs. Trying to concentrate on cooking, I pretend I didn’t hear him. Then again, maybe I shouldn’t? “What is going on?” Turning, I look at him. He looks at me, confused. “I am not stupid, Marcus. I saw his face. Something has happened and he spoke to you about it.” Standing my ground, I put my hands on my hips. Marcus’s laugh is loud. I swear Jackson could probably hear it outside. “You think stamping your foot and putting your hands on your hips will work with me, missy?” Looking at him, it clearly isn’t. “Worth a try, isn’t it? It might have worked.” It really was all I had. I can’t do anything else that might make him tell me. “Well, no, it doesn’t and it isn’t my place to say. You need Jackson to tell you, not me.” He walks out the front door. So it is something about Jackson? Had it been the team, Marcus would just have said that it is a team matter. Standing, I finish cook
Lying in bed, we stay quiet, Jackson not speaking either. Tomorrow is our day together. Marcus leaves the day after for the mission and everything will change while he is away. “Are you okay?” Turning, I face him. Jackson and Marcus normally always do the missions together. “Course I am, Kitten. Things are changing, that is all. It will be strange saying goodbye to Marcus when he leaves as I normally go, but I don’t want to risk losing you.” I feel awful. It would have been him going if I had not stopped him. “He will be fine, just like you said. You always say the team looks out for each other.” He nods. “I know, but Marcus is more like a brother than Liam. I have known him since I was about thirteen. He has been there with me through everything.” I wish I could make him feel better but how can I? “Why don’t you and Marcus spend tomorrow together? I will spend it with the girls, but the day you spend with Marcus, then the night you sp
I jump up in bed after the scream woke me. Looking around, Jackson isn’t here. This is the dream. Forcing myself to stay still, I don’t move. What if it isn’t a dream? If it was I would already be checking on the girls. Getting out of bed slowly, I walk to their room. Sure enough, their cribs are empty - the dream is happening. I was wrong to think the issue had left us. Stood outside the girls’ room, I have two options: safe room or go confront her. I can’t go into the safe room as I don’t have my phone. I left it in the kitchen. That explains why I am downstairs in the dream. Slowly walking downstairs, I stay quiet. Everything is still shut and locked. Grabbing the phone, I dial Jackson’s number. Do I want to hit the call button? Looking around, I don’t have a choice, or do I? Pressing messages, I quickly type, “Help!” Selecting Georgina, Liam and Marcus, I hit send. Pressing the call button, I ring Jackson, tears filling my eyes knowing what is to come
Everyone walks in. The police come, asking me questions. I can see their lips moving but there is no sound, no sound just silence and Marcus’s last words on replay. I watch as Troy, Alexander and the other lads come in, all staring at me, unsure what to say. Jackson gives me space. My heart breaks seeing every one of their faces, the pain of the loss. Hours pass by, everyone walking around and talking but I take none of it in. “Alena, go get a shower. Please, do something.” Jackson kneels in front of me, but I can’t move. I can’t go away. I can’t do it. “I don’t know how to help her.” Jackson’s words are quiet. No one can help. Marcus has gone. I watched it myself. He isn’t coming back. This isn’t like Jackson, where there is nobody, no proof. I saw the body, felt it drain of blood and turn cold in my hands. “Marcus would be the one to tell me what to do.” Jackson’s head lowers. Marcus was more than his friend, and his brot
He walks back in. Sitting next to me, his hand grips mine. “Alena, you didn’t let him down and you certainly did not kill him. Remember his last words: that he was happy because of you and no one else. You made him happy. That should be enough for you to realise.” Nodding, I agree. He did say that. “It won’t help bring him back, though, and he still died because of me. Everyone will hate me. I saw the way Troy looked at me. He tried smiling and couldn’t. Even he blames me.” What a year this has started out to be: New Year’s Day and we already have a death. “Stay here.” Jackson walks out. I see him talking to the team. They all look towards me and then back to Jackson. Walking back to me, Jackson is followed by them all. Walking into the room, I prepare myself for their abuse and the blame. “Alena, we don’t blame you at all. I tried smiling. The only reason I couldn’t is because you look more hurt and broken by this than any of