Waking up, Jackson is still asleep. Going downstairs quietly, I begin cooking breakfast, figuring I would give him breakfast in bed. Nearly finished with the cooking, Marcus comes in. Looking at him, I am shocked.
“What has happened?” I grab the first aid kit, trying to clean his cuts. It is seven o’clock. Where had he been all night?
“I am fine Alena, I have had worse, remember.” He grins at me, but I have a sense he’s trying to hide something from me.
“What happened Marcus?” I look at him waiting.
“My tire blew. It wasn’t an accident. It looked like there was a large piece of glass stuck in it. I forgot to check the tires before I left.”
So, it confirms it, someone is out to hurt us, not just me and Jackson, but Marcus as well? How are we all linked? Who would hate us all so much?
“I will take the food up to Jackson, then come back down and clean the cuts.” I grab the plate, waking Jackson up with a kiss, not saying
Getting in, Marcus is right. The house is quiet. The girls are obviously asleep. “Hey Kitten, I have a surprise for you.” Oh, I love surprises, especially Sir’s surprises. “Oh, really, Sir? What surprise might that be?” I look around, not seeing anything out of the ordinary. “Go to the office and see Kitten.” I look at him. Is this a way to get me out of the way to talk to Marcus? Either way, I am excited to see what it is, so I go upstairs. I walk into the office. Demitri is sitting there. Okay, what is going on? “Hey Alena, I am here to do another tattoo for you. Everything is set up.” Excitement builds up inside me. “Really?” He laughs, looks at me, nods, then pats the seat next to him. “Really. You have shown Jackson a few styles you liked. He sent them to me, I re-did them to look better and to be unique. It will be going on your bum, though. Well, it will be starting at the small of your back and going down
“I want to play the yes-no game, Kitten.” Looking up, I laugh. What sort of game is that? “Really a kid’s game, Sir?” I smile, patting his leg, laughing, almost mocking him, which he hates. “No, think back to the very start Alena. How can you forget that game?” I think back. I remember a lot from our years, and then the night comes to me. He asks me a question. I respond ‘yes’ or ‘no’ but add on to it. His first question was, ‘I want to take you to the playroom’. I responded ‘Yes, but I have to walk there naked’. He responded, ‘Okay, while I watch you’. I responded ‘Yes, and you spank me while I do’. It is different to how we usually play. It gives me a chance to ask what I want to happen at that moment in time. “Okay Sir, let’s play.” I smile, excited to see how this will pan out. He smiles. “I want to play in this room with you.” “Yes, but I want to choose the toys from the playroom to bring into this room.” He
Waking up, everything is still quiet. I am glad there are no alarms waking me up. It means we got through the night without another break-in. Showered and dressed, I walk downstairs, just like most mornings. Jackson is sitting with the girls, and Marcus sits in the living room. “Ready for the launch?” His voice is soft and soothing. I smile, feeling giddy. “Hell yes. Today is going to be amazing, plus, I find out when I can have private one-to-one lessons.” My hands clap like my inner child burst out of me. “One-to-one, really?” His eyebrows raise up. “Yes, the lap-dancing ones. I may take the pole dancing ones as well, actually.” “Well, I look forward to seeing the results.” He winks at me. I want to stay and play longer, but I have to make sure everything is being set up for tonight. Each of the rooms will be used tonight by professionals. There will be three pole dancers, two lap dancers, and exercise coaches. The whole point is to make it
Leaving the office and walking towards my dad, I freeze. Sarah is there. I forgot, and it is now too late, he has seen her. There is love on his face and heartbreak. It says it all, that he never stopped loving her, but she has hurt him too much. Rushing to his side, I explain as quickly as I can. I don’t want him to leave. I want him to stay here with me. He was invited, not Sarah, and if I have to, I will send her away quickly. “Alena, she is your mother. If you want to see her, I won’t stop you, and I certainly would not hate you for it. Just enjoy the night. I will be civil even if she comes and talks to me.” My dad, forever the gentleman. I hug him. I leave to find Jackson, hoping Marcus will be home and confirm everything is safe and okay. “Everything is fine, Alena. Stop rushing around trying to find me.” Jackson is standing behind me, his arms wrapping around me. I still have no idea who is out to hurt me but having Jackson’s
I walk into the pole-dancing room, and, sure enough, Georgina is trying it out, failing, but trying. She is laughing too much to stay on the pole long enough. That is what I want it to be like, not serious, just fun, so if someone struggles, it isn’t like everyone is staring at them. “Alena, you need to have a try,” Georgina calls over. I laugh, shaking my head. There’s no way I will get on a pole with so many people just walking by and watching, even fully clothed and joking. “No, thank you, I have work to do.” Not a bad excuse, what work though I don’t know. It was a good enough excuse for her to stop asking me and start trying herself again. Walking out, I look around Freya, who is standing talking to Jackson and Liam. Roxy is standing with someone. I can’t see who, because there are crowds in front of them. Walking closer, I notice it is Jake. As much as I dislike her for what she has done, I don’t exactly want her getting hurt by Jake, but
His hand lifts up, stroking my cheek. I try to get my phone out of my pocket without him noticing. How am I going to get help? I don’t know. The last person I spoke to on the phone… my mind is trying to remember. If I click the call button twice, it will call them, but who was it? Trying to think back, I remember Marcus calling me, saying he and Jackson were setting off. Pressing the call button twice, I pray he answers, that he can hear and understand, and that he will then call Jackson and get me some sort of help. “Just leave it, Jake. I am married, I have kids. Let me out of the office.” I try walking past him. His body moves again, pushing me back. I hope Marcus has answered. “Jake, enough, move out my way, or I swear, when I am out of here, I am calling the police.” Moving around him again, he moves, his body not just blocking me but pushing me back towards a corner. I am done for. There is no way I can get past him; lo
The police and guests are gone. Georgina, Liam and Marcus are sitting at the bar. “We checked everything. It’s all locked up, empty, no one here.” Marcus starts as we reach them. “Thank you, Marcus, for saving her again when I was too busy to realise.” Jackson reaches out his hand. Marcus shakes it. It is a strange thing to see, yet I can see a conversation they are having in secret in their eyes. “You know, I would be the same for any damsel in distress, and Alena sure is one, except she actually broke his nose, which I think is bloody amazing.” “My head does come in useful.” I laugh, although it hurts more than before. “We are going home. I think she needs sleep after tonight,” Jackson points out. “I will lock up and follow you. I rechecked the cars. They are all safe, and now Jake is gone. I doubt we will have any other issues.” Marcus stands up, grabbing his things. “Yeah, we will go as well. See you tomorrow, Alena.”
Walking around and watching it is amazing. There are women lacking confidence, shy and hidden, coming out of their shells, having fun and laughing. It makes me smile. Some of these women would be hidden away at home, hiding from their demons and trying to pretend everything is fine while refusing to socialise. I just hope it truly helps them. “Hey, Alena.” I turn, and Ruby is standing there. “Is everything okay, Ruby?” I look around, wondering why she is no longer in her class. “Yes, everything is fine. I have a woman who wants to speak to someone. I am not sure what to do, so I said I would come to get you. I hope that is okay?” She looks worried like she is in trouble. “It is fine. I will come with you.” Following Ruby, we go into the room. “Alena, this is Rose.” Ruby introduces us before walking off. “Hi Rose, how can I help?” Smiling at her, she looks around worried. “Shall we go to my office where
Sitting, we talk about the wedding and her plans, ideas and what she wants. “So, I have kept quiet for an hour, talk.” Looking at her, I know what she means but I am not sure I want to talk about it, yet I haven’t really spoken about it. “I don’t know what to say. It has happened and now I am trying my best to move forward.” I am. It is hard but I am slowly getting there. “Well, talk to me about the last few minutes with him, because the first I heard of what was said was in the church.” Sitting, I talk about those last moments, explaining how it was then that I realised just how much I loved him. It was still nothing compared to how much I love Jackson, but it is still a lot more than I admitted to before. Sitting, it actually feels nice talking to Georgina. When I am trying to talk to Jackson, I am scared my feelings for Marcus might hurt him. “Anyway, Liam mentioned the will. I am guessing that was a shock.” Nodding, it was, and no amount of time will make it feel alright
Sitting, we wait for the solicitor. When he arrives, we sit down to discuss everything. Everyone is happy with the will and we each sign. It feels weird. My signature just made me have 1.8 million pounds for the business, but if it helps women and men who suffer domestic abuse, why not? Everyone leaves and we sit down to eat tea. Our bags are packed ready to leave. “I was thinking, I know the will stated for the business, but could it be used to support other people, not just those who suffered domestic abuse?” Looking at him, he shrugs his shoulders. “I am not sure. The money will be paid into the business account, but I guess it depends on what you were thinking about?” How do I explain this? My mind finds the words and tries to get them in the right order so that it makes sense. “I want to do something similar but for those who have lost someone in the army, navy or similar, or through cases like Marcus’s.” I want something there to support these people, the ones like me who d
The day has been tiring. Getting home with the bags, I am ready for bed. We spent hours walking around shops getting the things we needed. The girls practically have a full wardrobe of holiday clothes thanks to Jackson. Getting in, we get the girls ready for bed. Sitting together, I read them a story each, the ones Marcus bought them with their own names in. Finishing, we put them in their cots. Walking out, we close the door quietly as they fall asleep. “I was thinking, Liam and Georgina were asking about the holiday and coming along. I understand if you say no. They will be in a hut away from us, but Georgina suggested they come for one or two nights there. They would have the girls for us.” It sounds like a good idea, us all together but separate. We could maybe even get a girls’ night in with me and Georgina, and Jackson and Liam can go out. “What about Helen? Sorry, your mum.” She isn’t well, and I don’t like the idea of her flying or being left alone. “I am going to pay f
Opening the drawers, I pull out his clothes. Folding them, I put them in a suitcase. With all his clothes away, I move onto one of the trunks. Opening it, I am shocked. It is a range of toys, all different. I had no idea he had brought it all here, but it has me wondering, would he have been sitting looking at these wishing he could use them with me? Does he have a favourite like Jackson? Getting to the bottom, there is not much in here, just his own toys, whips and things. Putting it back, I don’t even know what we would do with these. Opening another trunk, there is an envelope on top. Opening it, I start to read it. Marcus is divorced. He told us they were going through it but never mentioned it being made official. Putting it to the side, I find more letters, nothing important. Then I see a solicitor one, with the word ‘Will’ on it. I won’t open this. I can’t. Placing it to the side, I leave it for Jackson. Another envelope, this one with my name on. It isn’t small; it is b
Jackson is standing with a woman, one of Marcus’s submissives. She looks upset and hurt, not like Maria. Standing, I watch. They stand talking, her eyes filled with tears. It just shows how amazing Marcus was and how loveable. The rest of the day goes ahead slowly. Sure enough, Maria left after Troy told her she had no right to be there. Jackson spent most of his time by my side. The team were amazing and constantly checking on me. Getting home, the girls are already in bed. Helen hugs us before saying bye and leaving with Liam and Georgina. I don’t feel like I have said goodbye. With everyone there, I couldn’t say what I wanted without some asking questions. It still feels weird here without Marcus around us. Sitting at the table, I now understand what he meant. I did the same thing the past week: me pretending my life didn’t exist. Jackson sits opposite me and his hands grasp mine. “You are the only person he told that to, you know? I checked. None of us knew why he stared i
Walking downstairs, everyone is here: the whole team, Marcus’s other friends, and a few women. I don’t know who they are yet I feel I want to know. Walking to Jackson’s side, he wraps his arm around me. “We should walk around and say hi. I will introduce you to people he knew that you have not met.” Nodding, I agree. I should know who these people are. “How will you introduce me? What will you introduce me as in regard to Marcus and exactly how much do the team know?” Jackson turns, looking at me in surprise. Whether that is at my questions or the fact that is the most I have spoken in days, I don’t even know. “Well, I will introduce you as my wife and the closest person to Marcus before he passed. The team know everything. I had to tell them about it all. Explaining why you are this broken by him dying would not work by lying, Alena.” The closet person to Marcus…he used to be the closet person to Marcus. Had that changed? We start walking around the room, Jackson introducing
Jackson walks back through towards me. Turning on the kettle, he grabs two cups. “She doesn’t want to do anything. She said it is up to the team to plan his funeral.” As I thought, she does not care about him at all, not even now in his death. “I want to help with the funeral.” Maybe helping will help me. I don’t even know if it will but surely it is worth a try? Jackson hands me the cup of tea. Walking to the sofa, we sit, his arm around me. “I don’t want you to be strong for me, Alena. Yes, I am hurting, a lot, but seeing you broken is what is keeping me going. I can’t be weak when you need me.” I don’t even know what to say anymore. I just want to hide away. “Whatever you want, Alena. Whatever you need to get you through this, I will do.” I don’t even know what I want or need right now. “Marcus mentioned a plan for that night, something for me. What exactly was it?” Maybe knowing this will help. Maybe it won’t but I won’t know until I ask. “Well, I heard you talking to hi
He walks back in. Sitting next to me, his hand grips mine. “Alena, you didn’t let him down and you certainly did not kill him. Remember his last words: that he was happy because of you and no one else. You made him happy. That should be enough for you to realise.” Nodding, I agree. He did say that. “It won’t help bring him back, though, and he still died because of me. Everyone will hate me. I saw the way Troy looked at me. He tried smiling and couldn’t. Even he blames me.” What a year this has started out to be: New Year’s Day and we already have a death. “Stay here.” Jackson walks out. I see him talking to the team. They all look towards me and then back to Jackson. Walking back to me, Jackson is followed by them all. Walking into the room, I prepare myself for their abuse and the blame. “Alena, we don’t blame you at all. I tried smiling. The only reason I couldn’t is because you look more hurt and broken by this than any of
Everyone walks in. The police come, asking me questions. I can see their lips moving but there is no sound, no sound just silence and Marcus’s last words on replay. I watch as Troy, Alexander and the other lads come in, all staring at me, unsure what to say. Jackson gives me space. My heart breaks seeing every one of their faces, the pain of the loss. Hours pass by, everyone walking around and talking but I take none of it in. “Alena, go get a shower. Please, do something.” Jackson kneels in front of me, but I can’t move. I can’t go away. I can’t do it. “I don’t know how to help her.” Jackson’s words are quiet. No one can help. Marcus has gone. I watched it myself. He isn’t coming back. This isn’t like Jackson, where there is nobody, no proof. I saw the body, felt it drain of blood and turn cold in my hands. “Marcus would be the one to tell me what to do.” Jackson’s head lowers. Marcus was more than his friend, and his brot