Chapter 6 : To Train or Not to Train

*Alice's POV*

I woke up the next day and was surprised that my ankle was no longer sore.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, I finally moved my way forward to stand and put weight on the foot.

It didn't hurt at all. I tentatively walked a few steps, and it worked well.

My ankle was almost entirely healed. It was unbelievable, but it was true.

There was always one good thing about the nasty blood that flowed through me: the rapid healing process. It had definitely come in handy over the years of punishment that should have left me dead.

However, never before had I been able to heal so quickly. I was still worried about how I was going to work with injuries today. But now, I didn't have to worry.

My purpose was to be able to defeat the palace guards and leave the palace. I didn't care how to fight the abnormal rogues who lurked outside of the walls, I just want to leave. But in order to get there, I needed to lie to Simon about why I wanted to fight. Why I needed to fight. And I think that I had him almost convinced.

In the following days, even though I was getting sick of just doing laps, I couldn't escape more laps and dodging training. Simon didn't let me go, and, it seemed, he didn't want to see me hurt, either.

The sun began to rise as the next day was finally approaching. I tossed on my apron and tied it around my waist when Joan stopped me.

"The Alpha King asked me to run out on a few errands, so I will be gone most of the rest of the morning," she hesitated. "That means that you will have to take breakfast to James again. I won't be able to."

I couldn't help but groan. "How about I don't, and he can just starve to death."

"Alice!" Joan exclaimed in a forced whisper and hurried to glance around her. "Watch your mouth around here. You never know who is listening!"

Not sure if I could bite back the rest of the rude things that wanted to come spilling out, I simply nodded and kept my mouth tightly shut. Joan seemed to realize I was struggling and came up to give me one of her warm hugs.

"I am sorry," she whispered to me. "I will be back as soon as I can."

I nodded again and then watched as she walked out the door.

Set on the idea of finishing my worst tasks first, I left the room and headed to the kitchen. After grabbing the tray of food, I walked through the giant palace until I made it to James' room.

The only positive thing this morning was that it was still early, so there weren't many others around to notice it. Or to harass me. I could get my work done much faster without the abuse or the male attention.

As soon as I reached the room, I walked inside. No need to delay the inevitable. Let's get it done.

"Well, look who we have today," James began as soon as he saw me.

I noticed that William was here with him again today, but I tried to avoid looking at either of them. Overhearing them the other day had put me at ease as far as being worried about the punishment I would receive upon everyone learning of my involvement in James' illness, but that didn't mean I was at ease.

James stood up out of his bed and strode over to me. Even though I wasn't looking at him, I had gotten very good at observing through my peripheral vision. Call it a maid perk.

He was dressed lazily in a pair of sweats and a sweaty shirt that looked like he had been wearing it for days. I suddenly found myself admiring Simon for his style and his fresh, clean suits. James grabbed my attention, though, by grabbing my wrist.

"Talk to me when I am talking to you," he said clearly.

Like Olivia, he always had a stronger sense of confidence when he was surrounded by people watching him. I looked up at him finally to see his eyes full of humor as he stared at me. His eyes were also slightly glossy, and I could smell him as he got closer.

Somebody was back to their old drinking ways.

"Were you talking to me?" I asked in my fakely sweet voice.

He stepped closer, and I naturally tried to move away, but his grip on my wrist was firm. I lost my balance for a moment, which James seemed to think was funny.

"Oh, no. My weak, pathetic excuse for a sister must not feel well today." He faked concern in his voice. "Better be careful, don't want to drop- drop- drop it!"

And with the final word, he tugged down hard on the wrist he was grabbing, and the tray flew out of my hands. I heard the sounds of shattering dishes and James' laughter.

My first emotion was rage, just as it always was when I was being abused, but I quickly covered it up by dropping to my knees. I worked up my fake tears impressively fast and was sobbing as I picked up the pieces of the broken dishes among the spilled food and put them in my hand.

I squeezed at one point, letting the pain control me and prevent a shift. I noticed William still sitting in the chair by the bed, looking at me with pity. I was putting on my best act yet, which was definitely working…especially on William.

"What is wrong with you, man?" William asked James loudly. "Look what you've done."

He walked over and grabbed James' arm, and pulled him back from me. I took the opportunity to run out of the room, still crying and acting sad. My limp actually aided in my portrayal.

"Alice, wait!" I heard William yell.

Then I heard the two boys following behind me and slowly let a few pieces of porcelain fall to the ground as I backed up.

William came into view first.

"Please don't go; you're my mate!" he said as he appeared.

I actually stopped walking. Well, that was new.

"She's your what?" James yelled as he came into view. "No way, dude. She's not even a wolf. Well, not a real one, anyway. "

I watched as James stepped on one of the pieces of broken porcelain, causing a small amount of blood to spurt. But he did not react. Either he was too drunk or too shocked at the idea of his friend announcing that I was his mate.

Which, I had to admit, was a little preposterous.

I stared at him, like I actually looked at him, and felt nothing.

"She's the daughter of the Alpha King, I would be proud to accept her as my mate," William continued.

"I don't feel anything, though," I admitted, annoyed at the fact that they were still talking about me instead of at me. As if this had nothing to do with me.

"See? Her wolf is so flawed she can't even tell if she has a mate or not," James said, turning to William. "And my father has never acknowledged her as his because of how weak she is."

If that was the reason he hadn't acknowledged me, then there was no reason James or Olivia should get recognition. Worthless, disgusting wolves. Even with the full strength of the wolf blood, they were weak.

"Maybe she is a late bloomer?" William tried to defend me. "What if she could get stronger? I could make her stronger."

They continued to quarrel with each other, and didn't even glance at me. More and more people were attracted to them and looked at me with unbelievable expressions.

Yeah. Quite unbelievable. How could an Alpha like William sense that I was his mate? I didn't even have a wolf. It had to be a trick to try to get with me. It had to be. I would never be able to experience the bond.

I felt several malicious glances from the crowd fall on me, and they were from those mated male shifters. Compared to the younger male shifters who filled the palace halls only days ago, their gaze was more obscure. They didn't want their mates to find out they were looking at me.

James and William quarrelled loudly, and more people began to crowd around.

I didn't want to be in the spotlight, so I took it as my chance to slip away. As soon as I rounded the hallway, I found Simon standing there, staring at the scene that had unfolded.

The tears leaking from my eyes stopped. I paused for a moment but then continued in an attempt to walk past him. Our training sessions were still a secret, so nobody should know that we had any sort of relationship.

I was just beside Simon when he reached out and grabbed my hand. He opened my fist to reveal the bloody broken pieces of porcelain that were cutting into my hand and then looked behind me at the trail of them.

The pieces just sat there, waiting for someone to make the mistake of stepping on them.

Simon shook his head.

"What is the point of that? Shifter skin is too thick to be seriously affected by this, and you know it will heal almost immediately. That is simply for petty revenge, and I will not stand for it." Simon's voice was serious, as always when he discussed training. "None of my students will conduct themselves in this manner. Understood?"

"My means are more than that!" I retorted.

"I don't believe it." He raised an eyebrow at me. His brown eyes looked deep in the dim light of the corridor. He seemed to be angry, and mocking me.

"So how else do you think I should conduct myself?!" I shouted. "Beg them for mercy? Satisfy their desires? Fight with them? All of those methods I have tried. They don't work. For you powerful shifters, bullying the weak doesn't need a reason."

I couldn't help yielding to him. I thought I wouldn't say them to anyone, but they poured out of my chest uncontrollably with anger. I couldn't stop, and I didn't want to.

"Where were you when I was being bullied? Huh?!" I continued. "How do you think I should protect myself? If I'm not ruthless, I can't survive. Especially in a place where everyone is stronger than me. You are a powerful shifter, and you never have to humiliate yourself for survival. But I have to pretend to cry, pretend to laugh, and even hurt myself just so that I can survive!"

I wasn't quitting. It just poured out of me. All the anger, bitterness, rage. It was spilling out, and I wasn't stopping it. "You say I'm your student. I shouldn't conduct myself in this way. So what did you teach me? You just keep me running laps. Next time, will I run faster to escape the bullying?!"

The roof of the hallway obscured the upper half of his face. I saw his beautiful lips move as if he wanted to say something, but he said nothing.

After I took a breath, I realized what I had done. What I had said. I needed to really learn how to bite my tongue. What if he gets angry? What if he doesn't want to teach me anymore?

The wind blowing into the hallway calmed me down. My mind was buzzing, and I clenched my fists nervously.

Simon paused for a moment but then brushed off my hands, freeing the remaining pieces of dishes.

"Can't you feel the pain?" he asked as he worked.

"I forget," I said, which technically wasn't a lie.

When I'm emotionally stressed, I really can't take care of the physical pain. Especially with Simon, I seemed to be surprisingly unable to control myself. I couldn't let this happen again. It's dangerous to me.

He bent down to examine my hand to see if he got it all. His warm breath swept over my hand, tickling my palm. My eyelashes fluttered like a frightened butterfly.

I didn't dare to look at him.

"Alice, remember what I said on the first night?" he asked. He finally let go of my hand and stood. My palms were wet, and the temperature of his breath remained.

"I take teaching seriously," he stated simply. "I am the teacher; you should trust me. And…" He pouted and continued. " If you can't, we can stop training…tonight."

He paused for a long time before uttering the last word, but when he spoke the last word, to me, it sounded entirely muddled. My mind was focused entirely on what he had said before.

'We can stop training.'

He was giving up on me.

My body froze, and my ears buzzed. He was just like everyone else.

"So don't be so rash and think of your decisions or the consequences that are a direct result," he continued.

I wanted to scream, to yell, but I simply nodded.

This was it. Our training was over.

Maybe he was already disappointed in me. Truthfully, I was a little disappointed in myself too. My only ticket out of here was gone.

Deeper despair crept into my heart. I bit my lip, trying to say something to keep him there longer. Apologize…anything.

But I opened my mouth and nothing came out The outburst just now used all my strength, and I didn't know what to say to make him change his mind.

He's not someone I could mess with, especially after he had seen my true self so many times.

I didn't move, and his voice made its way to my ears as he spoke. "Ok, then I must leave. I have other things to attend to."

I looked up to see that Simon was already gone and wondered where he had gone. James and William's voices still echoed through the halls, but I couldn't tell what they were saying. If it was still about me, then I wished that they would go back into James' room or somewhere a little more secluded.

But if there was anything I had learned in my life, it was that none of my wishes come true.