To deliver Colin from suffering, to save the tough man in my heart from his moral dilemma, I made a shocking decision.The decision was sudden and hurtful, but it wasn't selfish.He told me that he could handle the situation. It wasn't that I did not trust him or think that I had a better solution.I merely felt bad for him. I didn't want him to go through so much pain and woe for me. I did not want my existence to be his burden.The defeated look on his face filled my mind. It broke my heart. I told myself that I'd bring light and joy to his life, even if it meant I had to suffer in hell for eternity.Was I mad? No, I wasn't. I just didn't want him to be sad.When I recalled this incident many years later, I realized how thoughtless I was.Colin imprisoned me in his arms, refusing to let me leave. He was searching for my lips, trying to seal it before I said the words he'd hate to hear.But for some reason, an incredible strength burst out from me. I shoved Colin away, and he
I fumbled my words because I was trying to suppress the overwhelming heartache.At that moment, I realized that Colin was my soul. Without Colin, I'd become a zombie. My love for him had taken root beyond my imagination before I knew it.Colin held me tightly. His broad hands almost squeezed the life out of me. With reddened eyes, he uttered, "I don't resent you, babe. I know you did everything for me. Forgive me. I wasn't strong enough. I failed to give you a sense of security."I'm sorry, Lulu. But things weren't that bad. You should've trusted me when I said that I could handle it. What you did shattered my heart."He kissed me, and I returned his kiss passionately. The wounds in our mouths reopened, and warm blood rolled down the corners of our lips. The bystanders gasped in horror, but we paid them no mind.At that precise moment, we only had each other. We lived in our own world.He hugged me, creating a corner that blocked out the universe. I snuggled into him as if he wer
The nurse said that Felix would be asleep for a long time. To stabilize his mood, she gave him sedatives.Lights were switched off at nine at the wards. Colin and I sat silently in the darkness.I looked outside while Colin stared at me with cold eyes. I knew he resented me, but I let him be. There weren't many things I could do for him. But by sacrificing myself, it showed that our love wasn't in vain.I didn't dare to look at him or meet his eyes. I was afraid that once I turned around, my resolution would vanish.My heart ached. It probably would hurt for the entirety of my life. But perhaps that was the only way to know that I still breathed.When it was almost dawn break, I couldn't hang in there anymore and fell asleep.The noises from the corridor woke me up. I realized that Colin's jacket was on top of me, but he was nowhere to be found.Did he leave? A world without him felt so lonely.I heard shuffling from the bed, and Felix opened his eyes. There was no light in his
Colin was wearing a suit and a tie. Despite his bony cheeks, he looked dapper and walked in broad strides.Behind him was a meek woman carrying a stack of documents in her hands. She was chatting with him shyly. She looked to be around 18 or 19 years old—the age when one felt fearless. Colin's maturity and dependability attracted women around that age.Colin was expressionless, but he didn't quicken his pace either. He maintained the delicate balance where he was just slightly ahead of her.I didn't know if he saw me or not. But when he turned around, he had this condescending look on his face. The grin he wore was taunting me.Why was he taunting me? Because I made the selfish decision to agree to Felix's nonsensical demand?But I did it for him. Couldn't he see that?I froze on the spot. My heart felt like it had been put through a meat grinder. It hurt.Had he found a new love this soon? Were all his sweet promises empty and fake? I had expected this to happen one day, but I
"Lulu, are you sure you want to compromise?""No, I don't want to. But I don't want to give up either." Thanks to Professor King's and Colin's reminders, I decided to stop playing the hero.People might call me fickle-minded or toxic, but come what may, I would endure it.I was forced to promise Felix that to save him. I told him that as long as he saved his life, I'd stay with him. I didn't specify what we'd do or how long we would be together. Even if we only stayed together for a month, I still delivered my promise, right?Criticize me all they wanted. Felix never took care of me. In fact, I was the one taking care of him."Good." Dad gave a content smile and clasped my hand. "That's my baby girl. When facing adversities, we must think positively. Let's work hard together. There must be a solution.""I know. Thanks, Mom, Dad."I booked them a room in the hotel near my campus. After they settled down, I went back to Felix's place.I was away from him longer than usual today.
"I know you resent me, Lulu. I made a mistake last time. I made an inconsiderate demand because I was too afraid of losing Felix. I'm not going to apologize because I know it won't help. Whether you believe me or not, I want you to know that we don't expect you to sacrifice yourself."That accident took place when you were out buying medicine for Colin. If anything, Colin owes it to Felix, not you. This is a family matter. It doesn't fall on you to solve this problem."I stood up, poised to leave, but I decided to say my piece, "Colin's debt is also my debt. It doesn't matter who's repaying the debt. Let me be frank with you, Aunt Mel. I'm not as selfless as you think. I'm not sacrificing my love and my happiness for Felix."I'm doing this for Colin because I don't want him to be wedged between Felix and me. I don't want him to make a decision that he'll regret. Agreeing to be with Felix is just a temporary solution. I'll find a cure for him. And after that, I'll go back to Colin.
Colin's lips were warm and soft. I lost myself in yet another kiss."I've missed you so much. Did you miss me, my little princes?"Urgh. Did he have to ask that? Did he not have the answer already? I couldn't possibly answer that.Before I exited the car, Colin's broad hand ruffled and messed up my hairstyle. He wore a goofy grin.Why was he so smug? He was still a probational boyfriend. How arrogant of him!After my parents went home, I began designing the murals. After I read the proposal, I realized that it wouldn't be easy to earn this eight million dollars. The workload was unconscionably large, and it came with a tight deadline. To finish everything on time, I had to work overtime.But it was okay. At least I could kill time with it. To save time, after my classes were over, I went to Felix's place to work.Colin allocated one corner of the living room to me and set up a small drawing studio. It had everything—easel, paintbrushes, and watercolor. When I hit a wall, I cou
"Lulu, your drawing has improved so much. It seems like Professor King has given you a lot of useful tips.""I've worked very hard as well. By the way, while Tudor fashion is fascinating in itself, it's still quite dated. I find it hard to imagine the Tudor aesthetics from the readings alone. Besides, we have so many more colors now. Back in those days, they must have only worked with a handful of colors."It's a shame if we can't toy with more colors. Do you think I can mix some modern elements into the murals? I can combine Tudor elements with modernity. After all, the apartment is meant to be inhabited, no?""You're right. Color theories in the present don't apply to antiquities. As to whether you can combine Tudor elements with modernity… Putting the academic value aside, it depends on whether the developers like the idea or not."I suggest you draw several drafts with sharp contrast and show them to Professor King. But…" Colin paused. His tone turned appreciative. "I love the