Colin told me that time would bury everything.The temperature in Jinovy reached a record high in mid-April.Over the past few months, the 23-year-old me became more mature and composed. Whether I felt happy, sad, or angry, it all stayed hidden under my always-smiling mask.Helen told me that I had become more aloof. She said that one day, I would become a nun who forsook mortal desires.I laughed, saying she was exaggerating. But with a serious expression, she told me that if love hurt, it was time to let go.I knew that, of course.But I couldn't and wouldn't let go. There was nothing wrong with my relationship with Colin. The problem was Felix.I caressed my wet eye corners and asked, "Are you able to let go of Matthew, then?"Helen fell silent. Then, she began sobbing until she fell asleep.I didn't tell her that I would never give Colin up. Love never hurt me. What I was feeling was my guilt toward Felix.I had been dreaming about the Felix from before he turned 18, that
Mom said that if I truly loved Colin, I should fight with him. His future was my future too. We shared a future, so we should fight for it together.I agreed with Mom, but how was I supposed to tell that to Colin when we hardly met each other? Lately, we weren't able to call each other as frequently as before. And if we did call each other, we'd just relay how much we missed each other and wish each other well before hanging up.There was no time to talk about this kind of thing during a conversation that took place once in a blue moon.Work-wise, Colin's extended absence had affected two of the projects he was in charge of, so much so that the school had intervened. He had to look for solutions during work, and after work, he had to look after Felix. He was overwhelmed.Aunt Mel and Uncle Austin had gone back to Southsville, so Colin was Felix's sole caretaker. He had a lot on his plate."I'm good. I miss you a lot, babe. You have no idea. I can't sleep or eat. I just want to hug
I wanted to help Felix, so I tailed him.He lived in an old but well-maintained apartment building. I went in after Colin ran inside the establishment. However, he was nowhere to be seen when I arrived at the corridor.There were a lot of units in the building. Not knowing where he was and not wanting to call, I could only try my luck on every floor.As I reached the sixth floor, I heard a muffled cry and smelled the scent of blood.I tried to locate the sound. The door of the innermost unit on the left was left ajar. The sound was coming from that direction.Trodding lightly, I approached it. Indeed, Colin forgot to close the door. Perhaps he was in a hurry or he had seen something scary. I peeked inside from the door slit. Just one look and my eyes turned glossy.A wheelchair had flopped to the side. Felix sat motionlessly on the floor with his back against the couch. His body was lifeless, and his eyes were empty. There was a huge cut on his forehead, where crimson blood cam
The caller left a few reminders before ending the conversation. Felix, on the other hand, looked even more disheartened.Colin didn't know it'd be a congratulatory call from his colleague. Otherwise, he wouldn't have answered it.Felix was once Mr. Popular of the school. He was smart and handsome. He had the look of a business elite. He even received offer letters from various mega corporations in his final year of university.When he worked, he was as professional and confident as Colin. If it weren't for that accident, he would have had a bright future ahead of him.But that accident took everything from him. He couldn't stand nor see the sun. The successes he was due to achieve would no longer be his. How could he not feel hopeless?He had resigned to survive instead of living his days. But that phone call that brought good news managed to shatter his will to survive.I stood by the door, concerned. I made sure they wouldn't notice me.I knew looking after Felix would be chal
"Felix, I'm telling you this one last time. I can give you my eyes, my legs, or anything you want except for Lulu. She's my treasure and my bottom line. I won't allow you to take her from me."I cried even harder, so much so that I struggled to contain myself. The hands over my lips were trembling, but I felt something fuzzy inside me. How lucky was I to have found such a loyal man?I took out my mental note and gave him 20 flowers.That said, I couldn't just wait passively for him to bring me comfort and solace. I wanted to reduce some of his burdens too."But what about me, Colin? I have nothing left. What should I do?" Felix groaned in despair."Get up, Felix. We can talk about this later." Colin leaned down to pick up Felix.Then, Felix went berserk. He shoved Colin away as his hands flailed around aimlessly. He dragged his numb legs and crawled on the floor.Colin was caught by surprise. He fell backward due to the force, and his back hit the handle of the wheelchair, produ
Within half a year, my relationship with Colin was once again cursed by someone else.The first time, it was his mother. Now, it was his younger brother.What did we do wrong? We merely fell in love with each other. Why did they have to wish us ill?I did not want to cry. I shouldn't cry.I had done nothing wrong. I was devoted to a man. We were loyal to each other. I was not going to cry.But tears would not obey my command. They came gushing out incessantly, wetting my jacket.Felix rejected me back then. How could he force me to come back to him again? How could he force my life to revolve around him?Shakily, I pushed the half-ajar door open. I took a good look at the interior.In a corner previously hidden from my view, there were glass shards. A computer was shattered on the ground, the chairs were toppled, and the leather sofa was slashed by something sharp. Its yellow foam spilled to the ground as if it had been gutted.There was a long wound on Felix's left ankle. The
"Say something, Lulu. Say something and I'll be able to find you. Lulu…"Felix's hands flailed around in the air. I couldn't bear to see his helplessness. The wounds and blood on his body only further pained me.My heart felt like it was ripped apart. It hurt.I broke free from Colin's imprisonment and leaned down to carry Felix in tears. I told him that I was there and that we could talk properly once I put him in his wheelchair.Felix grabbed my hand. He propped his upper body up in great difficulty and pulled me into a tight embrace. Crying but smiling, he said that I came to see him. He knew I wouldn't abandon him. He also said that he loved me a lot and begged me not to leave him."Don't leave me, Lulu. I only have you left in this world. Say something, Lulu. You still have feelings for me, don't you? You won't mind that I'm disabled now. You'll stay by my side forever, right?"I couldn't say anything.His embrace was cold. His bony frame stabbed into my body. He was so ski
I exited the apartment building, distraught. It was a sunny day, with the rays illuminating the whole world. Yet, I did not feel warm.Perhaps after the accident, my life would never be sunny and warm anymore.I did have a bad feeling back then, and I hated my hunch. When I wanted it to work, it never did. When I didn't want it to work, it always worked.I dragged myself back to campus and back to my apartment. As soon as I was in my room, I flopped on the mattress, allowing the darkness to consume me.I slept for a very long time. Were it not for Queenie's call, I would still be in my slumber until tomorrow morning or even later than that while dreaming of something eerie.If only I could sleep forever. That way, I wouldn't have to face the dilemma."Luna, were you crying?" Queenie asked apprehensively when she saw me.She was my good friend, alright. Despite the distance, she could tell something was about me right away."I was." I sniffled. A listener would do me good when I