I deleted and recomposed my reply many times. In the end, I only sent out one word, "Goodnight."Matthew didn't send me more text messages. I stared at my phone screen until it automatically switched off.While I couldn't return Matthew's feelings, hurting him was not my intention. Yet he was hurt both mentally and physically after what had happened.His birthday fell on Sunday. Helen called and asked if I wanted to attend his birthday party. She told me that his childhood friends would be there to celebrate the occasion. None of his family would be there.For a moment, I was enticed. I wanted to be there to apologize to him. Regardless of what his family had done to me, I couldn't deny that he had given me his heart.But as I thought further, I was sure that Matthew had endured much of the grief in the past month. The answer I had given him that night must have plunged him into the depth of despair. Soon enough, he would begin healing and move on.Attending his birthday party mi
"Are you that oblivious, or is this your way of mocking my pathetic self? I slept with Matthew. I offered myself. What you see here are not wounds; they're hickies!" Helen seethed. I saw loneliness and rage in her eyes.I slumped onto my bed, unable to process the news."Oh? Does it sting now that Matthew and I are together?" Helen looked at me with the corners of her eyes. The contempt and sadness in her eyes made her look extra pitiable."No, you're mistaken, Helen. I just… feel sorry for you.""He kept calling your name when he was with me until he lost his voice. And when he realized what he had done, he sobbed loudly. He said there was no hope anymore, that he was no longer pure."Tears suddenly fell from Helen's eyes, rolling down her dainty cheeks. She cried despondently, "Why? How could he do this to me? He was sleeping with me yet he was thinking of you. Why? Why?"Matthew's text in the middle of the night came to my mind. I now understood why he apologized to me.I did
Thinking that I was about to lose Helen as a friend, I was upset for the next few days.One afternoon, the sky was gloomy, and it was drizzling.My phone suddenly rang when I was painting the draft I drew.I put down my brush and washed off the paint on my hand. My face brightened when I saw the caller.Colin, who had been MIA for the past few days, was video-calling me."Colin! You haven't replied to my messages or picked up your phone in the past few days. I almost went to the police to file a missing person's report!"Colin's husky laughter traveled into my ears, sending shockwaves through my body."Lulu, come down."I looked outside the window. The drizzle had stopped, and the sky had turned blue."Just come down. I have a surprise for you."I grabbed whatever jacket I could find and put it on. Then, I rushed downstairs.The air purified by the drizzle felt extra fresh. Under a lush parasol tea, an unignorable presence came into my vision.In the shade stood Colin's tal
Colin tilted his head to look at me with a smile, listening to me yap about everything like an excited girl. Tenderness threatened to overflow from his starry eyes.I was 22 years old. I was an adult now. In front of my classmates and lecturers, I behaved like a gentle, elegant woman. Some of my juniors even followed me around just to learn my mannerisms.Unbeknownst to them, I behaved like a spoiled fool in front of Colin.To our surprise, we ran into Felix.His eyes fell on Colin's and my interlocked fingers. Subconsciously, I tried to withdraw my hand, but Colin wouldn't let me go. He grabbed my hand tightly as we walked toward Felix."Hey, Colin," greeted Felix."Hey, have you eaten? Do you want to join us?"Felix hesitated for a while. He then took out his phone to send a quick text before joining us.Jinovy was way more prosperous than Southsville. I found many high-end restaurants here, and out of them, Colin picked a seafood restaurant.The establishment was well-decor
Felix was surprised to see Lilac outside. He grabbed his phone and left immediately.I was so annoyed by Lilac that I blurted out something rude, "Felix, let's not hang out again."He replied with his silent silhouette. Then, he left."It's over. Finally," said Colin as he turned to me, a glass in his hand."Tsk, it already ended a long time ago. It was over when he called me shameless and asked me to stay away from him that Thanksgiving.""So what's your plan now?""I'll make myself available and make many friends." I placed my palm above my brows while pretending to scan my surroundings. Then, my eyes lingered on Colin. "Then, I'll settle down with someone I like and who likes me back."Colin's hand froze mid-raising his glass. He turned to face me, his eyes glimmering. Then, with a smile, he said, "Sure."Oh, that smile. That lethal smile! My heart skipped a beat.Colin was hired by Jesselton College to be a lecturer. It was his first day, so he was too busy to hang out wit
Felix's lanky frame faltered, and a deep sense of sadness filled his eyes. It wasn't until I finished my sentence that I realized I had returned the exact same words he told me back then.But why was he sad? Forget about the past—we were young and naive back then. He was now dating Lilac. Why was he hurt by what I said?Because he cared about me? No way. Back then, he viewed me as an eyesore, a pest.And more importantly, I couldn't care less if he was upset or not.They said time could heal everything. And indeed, I had completely moved on from the pain my tragic past brought me.Felix was now a stranger in my life.The pain he had once inflicted on me and the tears I had once shed were nothing but part of my growth.That was all."If there's nothing else, goodbye. And quit bothering me." Turning, I left angrily."Stay, Lulu," Felix called out. He sounded vulnerable and sincere."Just spit it out now. I don't have time for you. You're getting on my nerves."He was irritat
I was overjoyed. From now on, Colin would take care of me, and I no longer needed to worry about food. Oh, c'est la vie!But life, as usual, was fond of cracking tasteless jokes. I often ran into those who I absolutely abhorred.I woke up early the next morning. For the first time in forever, I was motivated enough to go for a jog. Unfortunately for me, I bumped into Felix and Lilac.I was jogging on the running track and they were walking in the opposite direction. There was no way to avoid them.I thought I could pretend they were not there and jog past them. But Lilac approached me with a bright smile and clung to my arm.I shuddered, not liking the sudden physical contact. I took a few steps back to create some distance between us. Warily, I eyed her and said, "You can speak to me from that distance. We're not close enough for any physical contact."Lilac, as shameless as she was, paid my aloofness no mind. She approached me, forcing me to retreat a few more steps. "Today is
I sniggered internally.So this was why they invited me out for lunch!They wanted to find me a boyfriend. Why? Did my being single somehow bother them? Felix had told me yesterday that Colin wasn't the right guy for me. And today, he wanted me to date someone as soon as possible.Was he somehow afraid that I'd date Colin for real, so he wanted to hook me up with someone else instead?Regardless, after the weird speech Felix gave me last night, he wanted to set me up on dates tonight. His back-and-forth decision was perplexing, to say the least."What is wrong with the two of you? My love life doesn't have anything to do with you, so mind your own business. Also, I don't need to go through you before I date someone now, do I? Who do you think you are? Stop flattering yourself."Furious, I toppled the glass of water on the table, spilling its contents on the surface."Calm down, Lulu. Lili just wants some reassurance because we used to… I'm not forcing you to find a boyfriend rig