Seven Years Ago-Age Twenty-OneMost people on their twenty-first birthday go out drinking with co-workers and friends. They get drunk and rowdy and loud, enjoying the milestone in their life. It's probably, of all the birthdays in life, the one remembered with the most fondness.But I hadn't done that today for my birthday. Instead, I'd stayed home with Daddy, who needed someone with him nearly every minute now-a-days. I looked across the living room at him sleeping in the recliner. His frail frame was huddled under a massive amount of blankets, because no matter what I did, he was always cold. He barely ate due to the chemo making everything taste bad and upsetting his stomach. He didn't even look like my Daddy anymore. And today, he'd made the decision to stop treatment. According to him, it was delaying the inevitable.I brought my knees to my chest and burrowed deeper into the couch. Earlier, after attempting to spoon-feed him some chicken broth, I tried to get him to lie down i
Summer"Will you sit down, please?" Dee waved an impatient hand at me. We were holed up together in the small bathroom upstairs, staring at the pregnancy test. I fidgeted, wringing my hands, pacing, making Dee more nervous. I couldn't help it. "Sorry." I sat on the edge of the tub. "You should be doing this with Rick." "No, I should be right here with you, so we can tell them after if I'm-" She let the statement hang for a moment. "How much longer?""Thirty seconds." I closed my eyes tight, blew out a breath.The week had gone by so quickly, like it usually did when we were here. An emotional roller coaster, but quick. Tomorrow, we'd be heading home. I couldn't help but wonder what would happen with Ian and I when we got back to Wylie. Would the dynamic change? We'd been in our own world here, but returning home was a slap of reality.And wow. Dee pregnant? It would be wonderful to be an auntie. A pang of jealousy and longing filled me. I wanted us to raise our children togeth
SummerJerking his shirt over his head, I wet my lips as I took him in. Sun-kissed skin, light dusting of hair, ropey muscle shifting. A flex of his bicep and my gaze dropped to where his hands were unfastening his shorts. Through hooded eyes, he watched me as he dropped everything and kicked the garments away. Blood roared through my veins. He had a slight happy trail of hair that descended toward a thick erection. The crown brushed his naval as he wrapped his fingers around the girth and stroked. Mesmerized, my fingers twitched, and then he stepped forward, strong, hard thighs bulging.He nodded, indicating I should strip the rest of the way. Wasting no time, I shucked my shorts and panties. His heated gaze raked over me, and suddenly I was unsure. We'd been together before, but that had been on vacation. This time, we were at home and it felt more...real. A choice rather than a heated whim. With his slow exploration, his nostrils flared, and I wondered about the other women he'd b
SummerI had barely finished my laundry from our trip to Seasmoke when I sat down at the desk in my bedroom. Unfortunately, I'd been sitting here for two hours now, staring at my mother's address, the scrap of paper in one hand and an invitation to my art benefit in the other.I had questions for Sharon. Like why had she come back only to leave again? Or how was it a mother could abandon her child? What happened to keep her away? Why had Daddy lied?To be comfortable enough in my decision to officially end things with Matt and go for it with Ian required me to look into my past, possibly explain some things and get answers. Maybe it would help me understand myself, why I was the way I was. The past had shaped me into who I am, good and bad, and I guess I just didn't trust I could be happy.Or, really, that I deserved it.I couldn't keep doing this to myself. Dee had been right to confront me. It was the kick I'd needed. An image of Matt standing in my driveway holding a bouquet
Present-Summer"I still say you should have Ian here with you for this, not me." Rick shoved his hands into his pockets. I gave him a baleful look. "You're the accountant.""He's the business owner, and you're avoiding him."Yeah, well, couldn't deny that one. I couldn't shake all the doubts in my head. We had such a good thing going. I'd cook dinner at his place, we'd have eyes-rolling-back-in-my-head, I-can't-move sex afterward. We laughed. We talked. We acted like a normal couple. But the past couple days, I'd made excuses about needing to paint in order to avoid him. The painting part was true, not that I'd gotten any work done. I just...I just couldn't lose him. And I somehow knew I would. The kind of happy he made me never lasted.I was trying, though. So hard, I was trying. For him. Ian had been right in what he'd said at Seasmoke. I couldn't trust myself to be happy. And the only time in my life I could remember ever being that way was with him. Our childhood, our teen
SummerI hung my dress for tomorrow night inside the closet door. Dee, awesome friend that she was, had found me the perfect ensemble. Turning my head, I smiled in admiration at my latest painting. This one would not go on sale tomorrow, and was worth every moment of sleeplessness to complete. I had barely resisted the urge to run over to Dee's place the moment I'd finished. Tomorrow night, I'd give it to Rick and Dee when we had a quiet moment.The chimes in my window tinkled. A fresh breeze blew in, smelling faintly of wildflowers and rain. I needed air and to wind down, so I picked up my glass of sweet tea and headed downstairs. Sitting on my front porch steps, I breathed in humid summer air and closed my eyes. The crickets had died down and fireflies blinked in the distance. The creek behind the house ran steady over the crinkle of leaves whirring in the breeze. Stars twinkled overhead, too many for counting. Perfection.My cell phone chirped in my pocket. I pulled it out and
IanI watched from my seat as Summer walked up to the podium in the Charlotte Art Museum, fidgeting with her dress. What a dress it was, too. Long, deep burgundy, and a slip-satin that hugged her hips and waist. The neckline swept low, peeking at the swell of her breasts. The tone complimented her skin, especially when she blushed, and it was really damn difficult watching her move in that thing when all I could think about was getting it off her.She placed a hand to her hair, which was in some complicated twist concoction, and tapped the microphone. "Can I have your attention, please?" Yeah, she had my attention, all right. A new fantasy ran amuck through my dirty mind. One in which I took out those pins in her hair, one by one, until the strands fell over her shoulders so my hands could roam through them. Then I'd fist that dress and shove the material up past her hips and-Hell. I was flanked between my parents, Rick and Dee, in a room full of people. I folded my arms over my
SummerI drummed my fingers on the steering wheel as I made the last turn for home. It had been a struggle to focus on the drive so I didn't kill myself in a violent wreck before I was able to confront Sharon.Again. When someone had tapped my arm as I was leaving the benefit and Sharon stood there, that last hold I had on sanity pulled away like a rug under my feet. Just like the first time Sharon had shown up, it had taken me a moment to realize who I was looking at. She'd made the effort to come and I felt trapped. Not wanting to cause a scene, I'd told her to follow me back to the house.Headlights in my rearview mirror informed me Sharon had stayed close. I pulled into the drive, exited the car, and walked to the front door. I didn't say a word when Sharon silently followed me into the house. Making my way through the living room to the kitchen, I flipped the lights on and set a kettle to boil. Unsure what to do, my head was a mess, I turned away from the stove to my mother
JennyHe shrugged as if it were no big deal. His expression sobered as he cupped my cheek. "We need to talk. I've got a thousand things to say.""I've got some things to share, too."Nodding, he glanced around and set me on my feet. Then he bent and hauled me over his shoulder fireman style. I squeaked as he carried me toward the back rooms. We passed the bar and I looked up, blowing hair out of my face. "Rock, close the bar tonight, would you?"Wiping a glass with a white towel, he winked. "You got it."Matt fished around in my pocket for the keys, unlocked the private door to my apartment, and kicked the door shut behind us. With a quick reset of the lock, he climbed the stairs, me still over his shoulder."I can walk."He skimmed a hand over my thigh. "I'm not letting you go for so much as a second tonight." Plopping into a recliner, he adjusted me until I straddled his lap. He cupped my cheeks, thumbs stroking my jaw. His gaze was haggard and apologetic and fraught. "I mis
Jenny"Has he called?" Facing me, Rock crossed his arms and leaned against the back counter.Perched on the bar top, I swung my legs in nervous energy. "No." Nearly an entire week, and not one call, text, or so much as a smoke signal from Matt. Even when he'd lived in Greensboro we'd never gone this long without talking."He will."I shook my head. "I'm not so sure." Rubbing my forehead, I dropped my gaze and forced my stomach to stop rolling in dread. "I'm an idiot cliché. Girl professes her love. Guy runs for the hills."Rock's brows pinged in awareness as if he knew something I didn't. In fact, he'd been acting strange all damn day. "As a guy, I'm telling you, he'll come around. You didn't see the way he looked at you when you sang. Or how when you walk into a room, his only focus is you. He's so in love with you he doesn't know up from down."Too gutted to even hope, I glanced around the empty tavern. Rock and I had talked all afternoon about the details for Winter's Den. Mat
Matt"That's how I got your number. I don't know why she had that, or what it means."Memory shifted in my mind. Why we'd argued. The things we'd shouted at one another. The way I'd pleaded with her.We can go on a date, eat out at a restaurant. Hell, I don't know. We could spend a lazy afternoon collecting seashells.The breath seeped from my lungs. Damn. Damn, damn, damn.After I'd left her under the pier that night, she'd done just that. She'd...collected shells. Christ. It had been an olive branch, and she'd died before I could ever have the opportunity to reach for it. Or she'd known she was going to die and left me this as a message. Either way, the whole situation sucked. Down to the nitty-gritty kind of suck.I cleared my strangled throat. "It was something normal, one of the things I'd urged her to do. Collect shells." I tore my gaze from the bag to him. "That's why she had this."His brows furrowed, understanding in his eyes. "You should keep it, then." His finger tapp
MattI stood there in the middle of my living room, gutted, long after Jenny had shut the door behind her. Hands in my hair, I glanced around, seeing nothing but the fractured look in her eyes before she'd left. Maybe I was ten kinds of a fool, but the thought of her loving me had never occurred to me. I mean, yes, we'd loved each other for years. Probably since the first second we'd met that hot day on the beach. We'd connected in one of those rare fate-like moments people rarely experienced. We'd been friends and a crutch and support for a decade plus. But love? The kind it was apparent she felt...I hadn't a clue.And she'd been right. I'd allowed fear of...who knew what to keep her in this box, stupidly not realizing it was feeding into her ingrained insecurity of not being worthy. Christ. I was the one not good enough. I was the one who couldn't get a handle on what was wrong, not her. From the get-go, Jenny had an innate ability to read me, to get inside my head and fix things
JennyThe others joined us, and Matt's gaze slid right past me. We chatted about Dee's pregnancy and Summer's engagement party, the holidays, work."I can't get over how different the house looks." Summer shoulder-bumped me. "Matt said you did all the decorating. You have no idea how many times I visited his place in Greensboro and wanted to go Jackson Pollock all over. All that gray and white he had going." She shuddered. "This is really beautiful, and more like him.""Thank you." I chanced a peek at him, but he was studying his glass. "To think, all it took was a roll of duct tape to restrain him and voila."Well, that got a laugh.Amber and Rock showed up shortly after, and I went into the kitchen with the pretense of offering them food. Amber took a plate into the living room where everyone gathered as Rock hung back with me.He surveyed the scene, then me. "So, that's them. The infamous Seasmoke crew.""Yep. Pretty gorgeous, aren't they?" The day was weighing on me and I le
JennyI headed to Matt's an hour before his guests were to arrive for his housewarming party. I timed it that way so there would be little chance for us to be alone. Wearing a pair of black leggings, knee-high brown boots, and a white fitted sweater, I donned my coat and checked my makeup in the hall mirror. Subtle, but I'd had to add concealer under my eyes to hide the shadows and blush to my cheeks to give some color. I left my hair down. Matt liked it that way. A girl needed advantages.God, I was nervous as hell. Which made no sense. I'd known these people more than half my life. But Matt and I were a couple now. They didn't know that, though, and the stupid, silly part of me wanted him to tell them tonight. We'd been together a couple weeks. Surely, he'd want us to come out while everyone was in one place.Last night, after I'd sung and we got back to his place, we'd had sex. No talk, just sex. And though things had aligned like always and it had been great, the act lacked our
MattShe moaned. Kissed my mouth in a sweet, sorrowful brush. "I'll see you Friday at the bar?"I had to clear my throat to speak. "Yeah. Wouldn't miss it.""Laters, handsome."Watching her go left an empty ache inside me. And that ache didn't abate until I strolled into Winter's Den two nights later and saw her grinning at customers. What in the hell was this? These errant feelings swirling. The insane need to be near her all the time. Wanting her with every ragged breath between our time together. It was as if oxygen didn't exist if she was out of reach, out of sight.Pulling up a stool, I chatted with her grandfather's friends and Rock until she could break free to say hello. As she leaned over the bar, I caught her scent and closed my eyes to hold it to me. Drifting forward, I went in for a kiss, but she eased back."Are we still a secret?"I studied her expression, her tone, because I'd never heard that chill before. Keeping our relationship from friends and family had be
MattThe woman was killing me. Killing. Me. Dead.If it wasn't the strike-me-now bartender/musician side of her personality taking up all available retail space in my head, her sweater-wearing, endearing, generous side managed to complete the task. One minute she was my best friend, making me laugh until I required a respirator, the next she was taking me inside her body with reckless abandon and...making me require a respirator. For all intents and purposes, we were a normal couple. We shared meals, snuggled after mind-blowing sex, talked all the time. But none of this felt normal to me. I don't know if that was because it was Jenny or if the blame lay on the fact I hadn't truly had anything close to a real relationship before. There had been lovers, girlfriends, potentials, yet nothing in this kind of realm. Not like the balance Jenny and I had.And something was bothering her. She sat across my kitchen table from me, picking at her food. Despite her incredibly petite size, she
JennyI had a toothbrush and shampoo at his house. And not in the guestroom. No, in Matt's bathroom. I also had, on his insistence, a couple changes of clothes and panties in an extra drawer. With the bar closed Sundays and Mondays, we'd agreed I'd sleep over on those nights and keep the Wednesday dinners since I went in late that day. Matt liked the routine of it. I liked being with him any chance I could.Filling a Miller tap order on Tuesday evening, I winced at the woman on stage doing karaoke. These Boots Were Made for Walking would never sound the same again. Alas, I cheered when she finished.Rock came up behind me. "I can't believe you're getting laid and I'm not."Laughing, I passed the frosted mug to the customer and collected change. "Maybe if you weren't so picky." With the orders caught up, I turned to face him. "What do you really think?" I kept my voice low enough to avoid stray ears. We'd briefly talked before opening, but he had been pretty mum on the subject. Mat