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Chapter 21
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Seasmoke Friends Chapter 22
Ten Years Ago - Age EighteenLess than a month into the first semester of college and it was possible I might have to drop out. I watched the leaves just beginning to change from my bedroom window. A beautiful death in yellow and orange and red. Some were starting to fall already, as if a prelude to the news we'd received today. He had cancer. My dear, sweet Daddy. Daddy who had never done anything wrong in his entire life except smoke those damn cigarettes. He'd quit, for me, two years ago, but it hadn't been soon enough. The habit had caught up with him. The coughing and shortness of breath wasn't just a cold. It was cancer. The doctors claimed they could try aggressive treatments and removing the mass on his lung, but they gave us no false hope or promises. It was looking grim. Stage 4 was bad.After we'd gotten home from the doctor's office, still in a measurable amount of shock, Daddy had sat me down at the kitchen table. "All of the papers for the house are in the safe upstairs.
Seasmoke Friends Chapter 23
SummerOkay, well... Mind? Blown.Ian sprawled partly over me, his weight comfortable instead of pressing. The twin bed didn't allow for much room, and his large frame took up a good portion of it. Our legs and arms were tangled, a thin sheen of sweat coating our skin. His breathing had finally evened out and he'd fallen asleep. I had yet to draw breath. My mind alert, I stared at the shapes and patterns the light created on the ceiling.I just had sex with Ian Memmer. My best friend. My...everything. We'd gone there. We'd crossed that line.When the sun came up tomorrow and I returned to my normal self, all the ramifications of what we'd just done would slam into me. I was sure of it. Everything we could stand to lose would shine a light on this night as the turning point that ruined everything.But tonight, I couldn't muster the energy to care. Tonight, someone had made love to me as if I was worth something. As if I were special. I didn't know Ian could be like that. I'd always imag
Seasmoke Friends Chapter 24
IanWithout trying to move a solitary muscle, I looked down at the blonde hair spread over my chest as if needing confirmation last night had happened. The sheet was wrapped around us in a tangled knot, her breathing even. Her thigh was wedged between mine, her arm laying limp across my chest. Her cheek rested right over my pounding heart. Never, not once, had I awakened to her in my arms, and Christ, I never wanted to open my eyes to empty sheets again. Holy hell. She was here, in bed with me.Sunlight streamed into the room from the window, the rays caressing her back in the early morning light. My scent mingled with that of her lilac and sea salt from the breeze. Surreal.She stretched against me, a moan escaping as she buried her face in my chest. Visions of rolling her over and making love to her half the morning had me growing hard. We needed to talk. I still hadn't said half the things I wanted to tell her. But she felt too good next to me to do anything but sink inside her
Seasmoke Friends Chapter 25
Summer"The sex must've really sucked. We share the room right next to yours. No wall banging."I laughed, which I'm sure was his intention. "Shut up.""No, really. I can't wait to tease Ian about it. Not even an Oh, God, yes!"Laughing harder, I grabbed my side. "As if you could hear anything over Dee's snoring.""True, that." He sobered, studying me. "Can I assume Matt is still in the picture?"Shame swamped me. I was now one of those women who cheated on her boyfriend. Sort of. We were still able to see other people, according to Matt.Rick rubbed a comforting hand over my back. "If you love Matt, you have to tell him and try to work it out. I suspect you don't, though, so what about Ian?"I didn't love Matt. If last night had taught me anything, it was that Matt wasn't The One. Ian...I didn't know what to do about. "I'll figure it out.""I know you will." He wrapped an arm around me and drew me to his side. "Do me a favor, though. Go with your gut, not your head. You have
Seasmoke Friends Chapter 26
Five Years Ago-Age NineteenI curled up in a ball on my bed, wishing Dee didn't have a night class this evening. I badly needed a girl around. I didn't know if it was normal to discuss these things with a mother, since I'd never had one, but girls did discuss sex with their girlfriends, right? I was just glad Daddy didn't have a treatment today and had turned in early.How stupid of me to have romanticized the idea of sex. There wasn't a damn thing romantic about it. I had just decided at a party tonight to go ahead and get it over with. With some guy from my English Lit class. I was sick of the virgin moniker hanging over me and the opportunity arose. Everyone else had sex long before they were in their second year of college.The guy, Jason, had a lot more to drink than me, but neither of us were drunk. I'd heard the first time wasn't always good, but it had been terrible. He hadn't done much by way of foreplay, and the burning had been awful. Not wanting him to know it was my fir
Seasmoke Friends Chapter 27
IanOut of the corner of my eye, I caught Matt walking across the beach toward his house, back rigid and his stride long. She'd sent him away? She'd...ended it with him? My pulse beat thready, building an erratic rhythm.All day I'd been kicking myself, trapped in a wretched state of pissed off and hurt. She'd bailed on me this morning, had gone right to Matt, and nothing had wreaked agony quite like her rejection. A two hour ride on Dad's Harley hadn't cut through the pain. Our confrontation in the driveway only added to the mix. It was as if she'd been...amputated from my life.But Matt was leaving.I glanced at Rick, who had seen it, too. Rick nodded, his gaze understanding. "Ian, go check on Summer, will you? I don't think she's feeling well. I'll take Jenny home."Fireworks exploded over us, sending shocks of light across the water. The start of the finale boomed, matching my heartbeat. Leaving my friends on the sand, I jogged to the house and ran up the stairs, into our bedr
Seasmoke Friends Chapter 28
SummerIan's mama came out to join me on the porch swing after supper and handed me a glass of sweet tea. I took it as she sat next to me, setting the swing in motion. I traced the condensation on the glass with my finger and stared at the yard. The air was humid and sticky, but now that the sun had set, it was comfortable. A slight breeze wafted off the water on the other side of the house, scented with brine. Crickets chirped in the long grass and the rustle of palm leaves crackled. Perfection.Ruth looked at me over the lip of her glass as she drank. "So, you and Ian, eh?"I offered a short, breathy laugh, still a little shocked myself. His parents had arrived late this morning. After they'd gotten settled and we'd sat down for lunch, Ian had flagged their attention, said he had something to tell them, and kissed me in front of everyone. Ian never did anything half-assed, that's for sure. Dee had clapped, Rick had shaken his head with a grin, and Ian's folks had spent the rest of
Seasmoke Friends Chapter 29
Seven Years Ago-Age Twenty-OneMost people on their twenty-first birthday go out drinking with co-workers and friends. They get drunk and rowdy and loud, enjoying the milestone in their life. It's probably, of all the birthdays in life, the one remembered with the most fondness.But I hadn't done that today for my birthday. Instead, I'd stayed home with Daddy, who needed someone with him nearly every minute now-a-days. I looked across the living room at him sleeping in the recliner. His frail frame was huddled under a massive amount of blankets, because no matter what I did, he was always cold. He barely ate due to the chemo making everything taste bad and upsetting his stomach. He didn't even look like my Daddy anymore. And today, he'd made the decision to stop treatment. According to him, it was delaying the inevitable.I brought my knees to my chest and burrowed deeper into the couch. Earlier, after attempting to spoon-feed him some chicken broth, I tried to get him to lie down i
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Seasmoke Friends Chapter 76
JennyHe shrugged as if it were no big deal. His expression sobered as he cupped my cheek. "We need to talk. I've got a thousand things to say.""I've got some things to share, too."Nodding, he glanced around and set me on my feet. Then he bent and hauled me over his shoulder fireman style. I squeaked as he carried me toward the back rooms. We passed the bar and I looked up, blowing hair out of my face. "Rock, close the bar tonight, would you?"Wiping a glass with a white towel, he winked. "You got it."Matt fished around in my pocket for the keys, unlocked the private door to my apartment, and kicked the door shut behind us. With a quick reset of the lock, he climbed the stairs, me still over his shoulder."I can walk."He skimmed a hand over my thigh. "I'm not letting you go for so much as a second tonight." Plopping into a recliner, he adjusted me until I straddled his lap. He cupped my cheeks, thumbs stroking my jaw. His gaze was haggard and apologetic and fraught. "I mis
Seasmoke Friends Chapter 75
Jenny"Has he called?" Facing me, Rock crossed his arms and leaned against the back counter.Perched on the bar top, I swung my legs in nervous energy. "No." Nearly an entire week, and not one call, text, or so much as a smoke signal from Matt. Even when he'd lived in Greensboro we'd never gone this long without talking."He will."I shook my head. "I'm not so sure." Rubbing my forehead, I dropped my gaze and forced my stomach to stop rolling in dread. "I'm an idiot cliché. Girl professes her love. Guy runs for the hills."Rock's brows pinged in awareness as if he knew something I didn't. In fact, he'd been acting strange all damn day. "As a guy, I'm telling you, he'll come around. You didn't see the way he looked at you when you sang. Or how when you walk into a room, his only focus is you. He's so in love with you he doesn't know up from down."Too gutted to even hope, I glanced around the empty tavern. Rock and I had talked all afternoon about the details for Winter's Den. Mat
Seasmoke Friends Chapter 74
Matt"That's how I got your number. I don't know why she had that, or what it means."Memory shifted in my mind. Why we'd argued. The things we'd shouted at one another. The way I'd pleaded with her.We can go on a date, eat out at a restaurant. Hell, I don't know. We could spend a lazy afternoon collecting seashells.The breath seeped from my lungs. Damn. Damn, damn, damn.After I'd left her under the pier that night, she'd done just that. She'd...collected shells. Christ. It had been an olive branch, and she'd died before I could ever have the opportunity to reach for it. Or she'd known she was going to die and left me this as a message. Either way, the whole situation sucked. Down to the nitty-gritty kind of suck.I cleared my strangled throat. "It was something normal, one of the things I'd urged her to do. Collect shells." I tore my gaze from the bag to him. "That's why she had this."His brows furrowed, understanding in his eyes. "You should keep it, then." His finger tapp
Seasmoke Friends Chapter 73
MattI stood there in the middle of my living room, gutted, long after Jenny had shut the door behind her. Hands in my hair, I glanced around, seeing nothing but the fractured look in her eyes before she'd left. Maybe I was ten kinds of a fool, but the thought of her loving me had never occurred to me. I mean, yes, we'd loved each other for years. Probably since the first second we'd met that hot day on the beach. We'd connected in one of those rare fate-like moments people rarely experienced. We'd been friends and a crutch and support for a decade plus. But love? The kind it was apparent she felt...I hadn't a clue.And she'd been right. I'd allowed fear of...who knew what to keep her in this box, stupidly not realizing it was feeding into her ingrained insecurity of not being worthy. Christ. I was the one not good enough. I was the one who couldn't get a handle on what was wrong, not her. From the get-go, Jenny had an innate ability to read me, to get inside my head and fix things
Seasmoke Friends Chapter 72
JennyThe others joined us, and Matt's gaze slid right past me. We chatted about Dee's pregnancy and Summer's engagement party, the holidays, work."I can't get over how different the house looks." Summer shoulder-bumped me. "Matt said you did all the decorating. You have no idea how many times I visited his place in Greensboro and wanted to go Jackson Pollock all over. All that gray and white he had going." She shuddered. "This is really beautiful, and more like him.""Thank you." I chanced a peek at him, but he was studying his glass. "To think, all it took was a roll of duct tape to restrain him and voila."Well, that got a laugh.Amber and Rock showed up shortly after, and I went into the kitchen with the pretense of offering them food. Amber took a plate into the living room where everyone gathered as Rock hung back with me.He surveyed the scene, then me. "So, that's them. The infamous Seasmoke crew.""Yep. Pretty gorgeous, aren't they?" The day was weighing on me and I le
Seasmoke Friends Chapter 71
JennyI headed to Matt's an hour before his guests were to arrive for his housewarming party. I timed it that way so there would be little chance for us to be alone. Wearing a pair of black leggings, knee-high brown boots, and a white fitted sweater, I donned my coat and checked my makeup in the hall mirror. Subtle, but I'd had to add concealer under my eyes to hide the shadows and blush to my cheeks to give some color. I left my hair down. Matt liked it that way. A girl needed advantages.God, I was nervous as hell. Which made no sense. I'd known these people more than half my life. But Matt and I were a couple now. They didn't know that, though, and the stupid, silly part of me wanted him to tell them tonight. We'd been together a couple weeks. Surely, he'd want us to come out while everyone was in one place.Last night, after I'd sung and we got back to his place, we'd had sex. No talk, just sex. And though things had aligned like always and it had been great, the act lacked our
Seasmoke Friends Chapter 70
MattShe moaned. Kissed my mouth in a sweet, sorrowful brush. "I'll see you Friday at the bar?"I had to clear my throat to speak. "Yeah. Wouldn't miss it.""Laters, handsome."Watching her go left an empty ache inside me. And that ache didn't abate until I strolled into Winter's Den two nights later and saw her grinning at customers. What in the hell was this? These errant feelings swirling. The insane need to be near her all the time. Wanting her with every ragged breath between our time together. It was as if oxygen didn't exist if she was out of reach, out of sight.Pulling up a stool, I chatted with her grandfather's friends and Rock until she could break free to say hello. As she leaned over the bar, I caught her scent and closed my eyes to hold it to me. Drifting forward, I went in for a kiss, but she eased back."Are we still a secret?"I studied her expression, her tone, because I'd never heard that chill before. Keeping our relationship from friends and family had be
Seasmoke Friends Chapter 69
MattThe woman was killing me. Killing. Me. Dead.If it wasn't the strike-me-now bartender/musician side of her personality taking up all available retail space in my head, her sweater-wearing, endearing, generous side managed to complete the task. One minute she was my best friend, making me laugh until I required a respirator, the next she was taking me inside her body with reckless abandon and...making me require a respirator. For all intents and purposes, we were a normal couple. We shared meals, snuggled after mind-blowing sex, talked all the time. But none of this felt normal to me. I don't know if that was because it was Jenny or if the blame lay on the fact I hadn't truly had anything close to a real relationship before. There had been lovers, girlfriends, potentials, yet nothing in this kind of realm. Not like the balance Jenny and I had.And something was bothering her. She sat across my kitchen table from me, picking at her food. Despite her incredibly petite size, she
Seasmoke Friends Chapter 68
JennyI had a toothbrush and shampoo at his house. And not in the guestroom. No, in Matt's bathroom. I also had, on his insistence, a couple changes of clothes and panties in an extra drawer. With the bar closed Sundays and Mondays, we'd agreed I'd sleep over on those nights and keep the Wednesday dinners since I went in late that day. Matt liked the routine of it. I liked being with him any chance I could.Filling a Miller tap order on Tuesday evening, I winced at the woman on stage doing karaoke. These Boots Were Made for Walking would never sound the same again. Alas, I cheered when she finished.Rock came up behind me. "I can't believe you're getting laid and I'm not."Laughing, I passed the frosted mug to the customer and collected change. "Maybe if you weren't so picky." With the orders caught up, I turned to face him. "What do you really think?" I kept my voice low enough to avoid stray ears. We'd briefly talked before opening, but he had been pretty mum on the subject. Mat
