AngelicaWell I went all in.Threw my cards in his face.Admitted it all.Except that I still wanted him.Loved him.Breathed him.But at least... at least maybe, it would help us heal, move past this part of us that we were both trying so desperately to cling to, I was done clinging to the damaged burned pieces when all I wanted were to build new ones."Gem?" I was getting my hair put in a ponytail rather than my usual baseball cap."Yes honey?" She pulled tight enough for my scalp to rip right off my head near my ears."Do you think it's possible to give someone a second chance, when they hurt you so much that it destroyed your life?"She stopped tugging and looked at me through the mirror. "Nobody decides whether or not your life is destroyed but you. To let someone have that much power over you isn't right. It isn't healthy.""No, I mean-" I was frustrated just trying to explain what I meant."-like they ruin your life.""Only person capable of ruining your life, is y
WillI turned the AC on full blast, opened every damn window in the car, and was still sweating profusely.It was fifty outside.So I only had my own internal wildfire to blame. Just touching her like that, kissing her... I slammed my hand against the steering wheel, she jumped next to me.Maybe I finally understood drugs.Because I couldn't think beyond anything but tasting her again.Drinking from her lips, sucking her dry, licking every inch of her body until I had no energy left."Sorry." My voice was gruff. "It's not you. Well, it is you, but not for the reasons you're thinking." I groaned. "Shit, this isn't coming out right. What I mean is... I'm not angry at you." Yeah that sounded so much better, Will."Good." She crossed her arms. "Because I don't do that anymore.""Huh?" Now I was confused. I glanced over at her closed off position, the way she was tucking her body toward the door like she was preparing to armor herself against the arrows getting shot her way. "You
WillMe: I think I messed up.Zane didn't answer right away.I tucked my phone back in my front jeans pocket and reached for my beer. The sun was starting to set. Ang hadn't left her room since we got home.She took one look at the door, gaped at me, then slowly walked inside and shut me out.Shut whatever had taken place between us down.My heart cracked a bit.But what did I expect? For her to jump up and down and say these are the words I've been waiting for! "Yes, take me now!"I groaned and took another sip, then put my legs up on the balcony as the wind picked up around me.I was still shirtless.Still in leather, though I had no idea why. Maybe the idea of taking off these clothes meant that it was over.The kiss.The confessions.The day.The doors to the balcony opened.I almost fell out of my chair when Ang walked out to the balcony attached to her bedroom. We were miles away from each other, not really but it felt like it, both balconies were side by side,
AngelicaHe gave me my door back.After asking for forgiveness.He gave me the one thing back that still kept me powerless and put us back on equal ground.I don't know how long I stared at the stupid door. It was plain, white, nothing pretty or special about it.Except it represented both his trust and forgiveness.And in that moment all I wanted in life was to be worthy of more doors I could open, where he'd be standing on the other side.I made him wait until I was ready to face him.Until he was ready to face me.And when I walked outside, I knew it was time.I dropped my armor at the door, held my head high, and spoke to both past and present.Praying for a future.I leapt.And he followed.The cold air bit into my skin before the water from the heated pool swirled around me, and then warm hands pulled me against a strong chest. His mouth was on mine before I could protest, my legs wrapped around his body before he had a chance to deny me."I never stopped," Will
Will"This better be fast," I said, towel wrapped around my waist as I paced in front of Zane. Ang was showering and whatever shit was about to fall, I wanted to protect her from it all. Even if it had nothing to do with her or us, I didn't want her worrying about anything. Not so soon."Wow, look at that." Zane crossed his arms. "Give a guy a little bit of food, and suddenly he remembers all the reasons for feasting.""Really?" I groaned, "We're doing this now?""You texted. I texted back multiple times. There was a storm, I was worried." Zane shrugged. "And then Jay was looking for you, and he couldn't get ahold of you." He tossed me my phone. "I think you should check your messages, unless you'd rather hear it from me first.""Hear what?" A sense of dread washed over me."You know what?" Zane looked skeptical, "I have a better idea, give me your phone. I'm going to put it away until you get fed some more, you can come grab it before you're needed on set, before the storm."
AngelicaI woke up to Will's mouth, his sexy sinful mouth licking me from the inside out, I thought it had been a dream, until I felt his hands on my thighs, until I felt him exploring like he was my own personal alarm clock.Each lick was another ring that it was morning.Lick, time to get up.Lick, lick, let's hit snooze.I lay back, my body pulsed, buzzed with awareness of what his mouth was doing. I'd never allowed anyone to do what he was doing.It was too personal.And maybe a part of me had wanted to save it for him.Save some small part of myself for his mouth."Will!" I clenched my thighs as fiery darts of delight threatened to take me over the edge. "I think that-""No thinking," he said from beneath the sheets, slapping my thigh lightly with his hand, heat rushed through my body, centering on where his mouth was teasing. Pleasure built so hard and fast I couldn't even speak.But I did scream.And pant.And say a whole bunch of embarrassing things about never l
Will"Look, all I'm saying is I know a guy." Zane held up his hands and then grabbed his cell. "Remember, I'm part Italian."Demetri walked over to our secluded spot on the beach where we'd all convened after seeing Andrew. Basically, we were hiding and the gang decided to hide with us. "He still talking about the mafia?""Yes," we all said in unison."Why does nobody believe me?" Zane asked aloud. "Look I'm going to prove it." He started working furiously on his phone and then held it up. "Nixon Abandonato, known contacts, Chase Abandonato, Sergio Abandonato-""That's a hell of a lot of Abandonatos." I scowled. "What does that even mean?""Oh, wow." Nat looked over Zane's shoulder. "He kind of looks like you, minus the menacing I'd probably shoot you in the face first ask questions later sort of way.""Case closed." Zane dropped his phone. "I'm sending him a text. I just need to find his number...""No." Ang finally spoke.All eyes fell to her."Trust me, the mafia's good
AngelicaI lost a part of my calm in the reflection of Andrew's gaze, he didn't stare at me like he wanted to part ways as friends.He stared at me like I'd stolen something from him.And he wanted it back.I shivered again.Too many memories surfaced, too many things I'd dealt with and locked away, because dealing with them once was painful enough. Reliving the past wasn't exactly a hobby of mine, nor would it be to anyone who dealt with what I'd dealt with.Hours after the group sat on the beach, surrounding me, flanking every side like my own private security detail, even going as far as to threaten death to anyone who looked our way - I was finally ready to shoot another scene.With Will.The rest of his bandmates had arrived.They didn't have to be on set.But they were.And it was suddenly too much, the curious stares, the sickness in the pit of my stomach that they were filled with judgment rather than grace."All right," Jay's evil eye hit every single person star
Will"I can't hear you, Chicago!" Zane yelled. "I said are you ready for some Adrenaline?"The roar was deafening.We'd sold out across the US and had to move to larger arenas, it was unreal.And I'd missed it so damn much that I was having a hard time wiping the grin from my face, though part of that could be because of Ang.She agreed to sing on some of our newer tracks.And I'd coerced her by way of sex into performing a few of them with us.It was what people wanted, especially after seeing the music video from the film, and even more so, after seeing the opening scene, the raw emotion in her eyes.And knowing our story.The whole story.The whole damn thing.Word for word. Written out in our new album, for the world to see.Andrew wrote half.I wrote half.And then we traded, added things to each other's riffs, made sure the lyrics worked, and then very amicably went into the studio to record with the rest of the group.It was intense.We still barely spoke any w
AngelicaIt was midnight by the time we made it back home. All I wanted to do was crawl into bed and just... exist.And then Will started taking my clothes off, and I forgot all about existing on my own, and began to think about licking my way down his body instead, or up, I wasn't picky."Mmm." I groaned when his lips slid down my neck. "That feels nice.""You feel nice," he murmured stealing another kiss. "I love you.""Say it again.""I love you."I couldn't help the sleepy smile that spread across my face at his words. Or the desire to press my palm against his chest. And when he gripped my fingers like a lifeline, unbridled passion flickered across his handsome features as the lean muscles of his stomach seemed to ripple in the moonlight. I couldn't resist the feeling of power it gave me to know... that expression was for me.He leaned down and mapped my body with his tongue, I whined when he stopped and lifted his gaze to mine, a wicked smile teased his lips."More," I
WillBy the time we made it back to set most of the chaos had died down. Andrew was back, but he was still lurking in the corner, his eyes downcast but not as lost as when he'd first gotten to Seaside.Alec and Demetri had started a bonfire down by the ocean.All of us just followed, like we knew the fire was for us, like we were in need of the calm the heat would bring.Even Andrew eventually ventured over after Jay said something.Demetri had his ever-present guitar.Alec had his.And then Zane said something like, "Oh, look what I have here.""Any other instruments we should know about?" I said casually."Don't!" Demetri waved his hands in the air. "Don't give him the perfect set up to take off his pants, not when he's finally wearing them."Zane just shrugged.I leaned back into the sand and closed my eyes for a few seconds.Everything fell silent.So I opened one eye and then another.A guitar was being held over my head."Are you going to hit me with it?" I asked
WillThe Andrew I knew was gone.His eyes were cold.Lifeless.He finally slapped Ang's hand like a high five rather than a shake and continued to glare at me."I was scared," I finally said. "Jealous and scared."Surprise flickered across his face."I'd sent her into your arms knowing you'd take care of her while I was gone while hating the bad influence you were on each other. You had this connection I didn't understand, this... thing that gripped both of you like a vise. I didn't get it, I hated it, hated you for bringing her into it almost as much as I hated that I couldn't stop it." All things I'd told Ang without reservation. "And I'd been gone so much, it made sense, she chose drugs over me, why not eventually choose my best friend? The one who was there when I wasn't?"Andrew looked away.Ang reached for my hand and squeezed."The thing is..." I dug my heels into the sand and looked out at the horizon. "You're right, I blamed everyone but me. Hated everyone for my o
AngelicaAndrew was a runner.I could tell by his stride, the easy way he inhaled through his nose, out his mouth. While I thought I was going to pass out from shortness of breath."Andrew!" I yelled.The ocean swallowed my voice.Finally, he stopped and turned.I kept running; he was a good hundred feet in front of me.And when I finally caught up, I couldn't catch my breath, my tears were mixed with sand by then, and my lungs burned."I'm disappointed." He rasped, "You still don't exercise. Isn't that part of the steps in rehab? Find a healthy..." He made mock quotes. "Outlet.""I bite," I sucked in a gulp of air, "My fingernails and," I put my hands on my knees and tried breathing in through my nose, out through my mouth. "I color.""Color." he repeated, "With crayons? Markers? Colored pencils? Watercolors-""Crayons." I blurted then collapsed onto the sand.Slowly, he lowered his massive body next to mine.We were a few feet apart.Both of us staring at the ocean.
WillI'd passed out once in my life.Dehydration.So I didn't realize what was happening when Zane was snapping his fingers in front of my face and asking how old I was."He can't count that high," Demetri muttered."So many candles." Ty shuddered.I shoved them away and moved to a sitting position then held my head in my hands rubbing my temples. "What happened?"Nobody spoke.I sucked in a breath as the events crashed over me, jarring my memory to a painful degree.That night.That. Night.I chose never to think about it.Hated giving it power.But in that moment.I did.I thought about it - really thought about it.The fight with Ang before the concert.The fight with Andrew after.Drinking just enough to be angry at the world that things weren't going my way - that my best friend wouldn't listen to me about drugs, that he'd hurt the woman I loved, and that the woman I loved was choosing drugs over me.The groupie was pretty.And it was easy.So easy to wonder
AngelicaI heard the yelling.Demetri grabbed my arm while Alec shielded me.It looked like Andrew and Will were going head-to-head.I rolled my eyes. "I got this, guys, it was bound to happen.""Yup." Zane said from behind me, "Should have just killed him.""Hey, I was ready," Alec agreed as we all slowly jogged over to the chaotic scene where Ty was trying to hold Will back.But something about the scene was.Wrong.Rather than looking pissed - Will looked.Worried.Andrew looked ready to rip Will's throat from his body.And then I heard it.The words."...it's not that I didn't care, it's because I knew exactly whose baby it was... yours"I stutter-stepped.Demetri caught my arm.I shook my head over and over again while pieces of my memory fused.I refused to think about that time in my life especially after rehab, especially after moving on.Healing."Think about it!" Andrew kept raising his voice higher, higher. "I had just gotten back to my room, you were o
WillThings were going too good.And when things went good.I panicked.As an agent, it usually meant that you were minutes from a phone call about a publicity stunt gone wrong, or an actor taking a bender, or one of your musicians trashing a hotel room.Ticket sales being down.Labels dropping musicians.Every single time I had this feeling.Something happened.It was the same feeling that woke me up that night and made me go search for Angelica. The place in my bed, the space she belonged in was empty. And I'd missed her even as dread washed over me.The same dread that followed well into the night when she was in my arms, when we rode together to set.When we shot the cameo scene with the rest of the band.And had to keep redoing it because Trevor couldn't keep a straight face half the time, and Andrew kept snorting like he was too big of a deal to do anything.Besides that, fans had caught wind of what was happening, and we had groupies lining the outside of the set.
AngelicaI didn't want him to get to me.But he did.The way he leered at me like I was naked.Even with Will standing right there.And all the shame, all the mistakes, all the touches he'd given me, things he'd whispered in my ear, the so-called brushes of his hand, kisses to my neck.My stomach lurched.It took everything in me to walk past him.To smell that same cologne floating off his skin.And all the things that came with it.Drugs.Partying.Waking up in his hotel sheets that night, knowing that I only had myself to blame, and that I may as well embrace that side of me since Will was gone, since he wasn't coming back.The trailer door jerked open.He took one look at me, scooped me up into his arms, and held me on the couch, playing with my hair while his kisses dried up my tears.His lips moved across my cheeks, my chin, his mouth was so warm, comforting, sexy, I turned into him, inhaling his shirt while he rested his chin against my head."Thank you." I pre