She swallowed and nodded, not knowing what else to do. How could she explain that some things just weren’t meant to be shared? Even if he thought he knew about her past, there was no way for him to know it all. Because no one did. Not even Clement.“Everything will be fine,” she said calmly. “You’ll go seal the deal with S&G and I’ll keep things running here at the office. Derrick will be back in a week. He and I used to run the office ourselves, so I’m certainly capable of running things alone while you’re away.”“That’s not the point,” he said patiently. “You deserve this, Sophia. It should be you going. Not me.”She paled, shaking her head in instant denial. “I appreciate the opportunity. I appreciate your confidence in me, James. But you did enough. You let me help with the proposal. That’s enough. I wouldn’t feel comfortable presenting to the higher-ups. That’s your specialty. Not mine. No way I want the responsibility of us losing a contract like this because I’m not experienced
Sophia shook her head. “I can’t, Karla. I don’t expect you to understand. Hell, I barely understand it myself. But the idea of allowing a complete stranger inside my head scares me to death. I think it would only make things worse, not better.”“You can talk to me, you know,” Karla said quietly. “You know I’d never betray your confidence. I wouldn’t even tell Sandra if you didn’t want me to. And I certainly wouldn’t share anything you told me with Ken.”“I love you,” Sophia said sincerely. “I don’t know what I’d do without you and Sandra. I don’t know why y’all put up with me. I know I’m bitchy and prickly. It baffles me why either of you want to be my friend. I’ve said some horrible things. Just look at how I ripped into Sandra when she and Derrick got together. It still embarrasses me when I think about it. Sandra didn’t deserve my vitriol. I acted like such a hateful shrew.”Karla smiled, her eyes softening with love. Unconditional, unwavering love. Something Sophia had never exper
She’d finally opted for jeans and a comfortable top. Casual. Not too desperate. She wanted to appear as though she were comfortable with him. And that wouldn’t be a stretch because she did feel at ease with him even if she hadn’t in the beginning. All of that had changed during the night he’d spent with her.Trust, something she didn’t readily give to anyone, had been formed the night he’d held her through her nightmares and offered her comfort. A part of her recognized that this man wouldn’t hurt her. Her mind protested, used to self-preservation. Her heart, on the other hand, had quickly offered its trust, leaving her brain to wonder if she’d lost what little of her sanity she had left.The doorbell rang, spurring her into action. She nervously gave herself one last glance in the mirror, satisfied that she looked . . . normal. Then she went to answer the door.James filled her doorway the minute she opened the door. He loomed there, larger than life. Tall, muscular. Strong. To her r
“Maybe we should wait in the kitchen,” she hedged, uncomfortable with the quiet that had descended.He glanced at her, his gaze indecipherable. It wasn’t warm like she’d become accustomed to. Just seeking. Had she committed some dating faux pas she was unaware of? God, she hated this. Surely there were rules or something.“Look, uhm, you should know I really suck at this,” she said lamely.Amusement glimmered in his eyes. “Breathe, Sophia. Like I told you before. It’s all right. We can go back into the kitchen if that makes you more comfortable. Why don’t you set the table and I’ll check on the progress of the chicken.”Relieved to have something to break the awkwardness, she eagerly rose and headed back to the kitchen. James’s hand on her shoulder stopped her just as she reached the bar.“Relax, okay?”His voice was soothing and as gentle as his touch. Her shoulder sagged beneath his hand and she turned.“Sorry,” she muttered. “I told you I suck at this. I don’t know what I’m suppose
“What are we watching?” she asked.“Some zombie apocalypse movie,” he said with a twist of his lips. “It seemed like a good idea at the time. I had to be careful with my selection so you didn’t read anything into my choice or my intentions.”“So should I worry that you’ll bite me and infect me with some virulent strain of some super virus?” she said dryly.He chuckled. “I like your sense of humor, Sophia. It fits mine well. Though some would likely argue that neither of us has one. But I think we fit just fine.”Her cheeks warmed because no, no one had ever accused her of having a sense of humor, twisted or not.He laid his arm over the top of the couch, a silent invitation for her to move closer. She hesitated at first, not wanting to be obvious, but she found herself gravitating to the warmth and strength of his body.Soon she was cuddled up next to him, his arm hung loosely over her shoulders. His fingers danced idly over her upper arm, eliciting a trail of chill bumps. His touch w
Or were they too fucked-up to ever be able to build a solid foundation?Being with her was a hell in itself. Being without her was worse. But if he hurt her . . . He closed his eyes, warding off the invading darkness, the violent spiral spinning round and round his head.He cursed the fact he was leaving the next day and welcomed it in turns. He hated the thought of being away from her that long, of not knowing how she was doing. If she was eating and sleeping. Taking proper care of herself. But he also welcomed the break. Perhaps it was what they both needed. It wasn’t what he wanted, but it could well be what he needed.A break. Like they were some longstanding couple in a relationship where one or both needed to take a step back and gain perspective. They weren’t a couple. They’d only had one official date.The question was whether she’d ever give them—him—another chance or if he’d fucked up any possibility at something special with her. They were kindred spirits. Both wounded soul
It meant pushing her, but in a different way. He only wanted to take care of her. To allow her to lean on someone else, something he was certain she’d never done. She was a solitary figure, a reflection of himself in many ways. Two lonely, scarred souls. Maybe together they could heal.Somehow he had to break past her barriers, follow the path to the very heart and soul of her and prove that she could trust him. That she could rely on him, that he’d never willingly hurt her. Nothing in his current thoughts even alluded to sex. That could wait. Forever if necessary.This wasn’t about sex or making love. He couldn’t very well lie and say that he didn’t want her, that he didn’t lie awake at night aching with need to make love to her. But she wasn’t ready. And when the time did come, he knew he was going to have to do something he’d never done with any other woman.Relinquish control.It wasn’t an entirely comfortable thought. It made him feel . . . vulnerable. But however vulnerable he f
Even as he posed the question again, his answer was still the same.Yeah, she was worth it. God only knew why but there it was. He couldn’t simply walk away from her, no matter that it was the path of least resistance.He was stuck, for lack of a better word. In between a rock and a hard place no doubt. His fate, his future, was in the hands of this delicate woman and the hell of it was she had no idea. No inkling that she had him so tied in knots.He massaged his nape, weariness assailing him. He’d wrapped things up in Dallas a day early, eager to be back, to see for himself how she was faring. Now he realized he never should have left, no matter that this contract was huge for his company. She’d needed him and he’d failed her. Just as he’d failed her their last night together.That would all end now because going forward she was his primary concern.Sophia climbed through the heavy veil of sleep, realizing at once that something was very different. Oddly, no panic registered. Just a
“I believe you. I’m sorry I left the way I did. I had a lot of time to think between Omaha and Wichita.”“About us?”“That and some other stuff.”“Like what?”“I’ve been thinkin’ about safety issues and helmets and all that since Ryan died. And then after what happened to Dirk, I realized I wanna do more than talk about it; I wanna act on it. It’s a murky idea right now, but I have an opportunity to make a difference and I’m going to take it.” He kissed her just because he could, because she was here with him, where she belonged. “Enough about that. Tell me how long you were in LA, because Hollywood, I was headed there first thing in the morning.”“A couple of hours after you left, I got a casting call for a new sitcom and flew back to LA. I should come clean and let you know that my agent called me three times over the course of our road trip, after she’d lined up auditions. And every time I declined to go back to LA to audition. I didn’t know what it meant at the time, besides I didn
Ava gave Hannah an arch look. “Besides I know how damn good the man looks in chaps?”“Smartass. But really, what’s the point after Chase’s meltdown last night?”Her heart seized, thinking about how Chase had lost it on live TV. She’d wanted to jump through the screen and drag him off to comfort him. Assure him that not every wreck would have the same outcome as Ryan’s. Assure him she’d be there for him no matter what.“I know you can hear me, Ava, so stop ignoring—”“Ssh… They’re giving the injury report on Dirk.”The camera cut to an interview with the head of the sports medicine team. When he finished detailing the bull rider’s injuries, the announcer asked his opinion on Chase McKay’s comments about mandatory safety helmets. The doctor looked directly into the camera and said, “Helmets save lives. Period.”The camera returned to the main announcers. Their on-air banter circled to rider standings on tour and current matchups with bulls for the final round. When the list of the fifte
“After a few years, we started having you boys and… Well, my life was busy. Good. Happy. But I never forgot about that sweet baby boy I held in my arms for one short hour. Not a single day went by that I didn’t wonder about him. Pray his life was good. Pray he was loved.”*****Gavin’s eyes were on the shot glass he rolled between his fingers.“So I was shocked when your Aunt Kimi confronted me after your grandpa Jed died. She said one night Jed was loopy on pain meds and he told her that my father told him that I was pregnant. My father bragged to Jed I’d rather give the baby up than have it raised in a godless home as a McKay. Which was a total lie, but Jed must’ve believed it. After Kimi told me that, I finally understood why Jed never liked me and why he refused to live with us.”“Aunt Kimi never told Uncle Cal?” Chase asked.“No. But she told your Aunt Carolyn.”Gavin said nothing.“When did you tell Dad?” Ben asked gently.“Right after Quinn and Libby got back together.” She loo
Quinn? Yes.Ben? Yes.His folks? Absolutely.And probably any other McKay relation he called.They were just that way. They might fight like cats and dogs, but when it came down to it, family was everything. And he would do everything to reclaim his place in his family.“Chase?”“I’m here. Just figuring the logistics. If I leave now, I can be there by noon tomorrow. Is that early enough?”“You’re really not gonna compete in the final round and you’re coming home?” Ben said with total shock.“Hard to believe, but yeah. I’ve realized there are more important things than those eight seconds I spend on the back of a bull. I ain’t gonna be the one who lets Mom and Dad down.”Ben was very quiet.“What?”“You have changed. I’m looking forward to seein’ you. Drive safe.”Immediately after Chase hung up he called Elroy.“You’d better not be calling me to bail you outta jail, McKay,” Elroy barked.“Good morning to you too, sunshine. I’ll keep this brief. I have a family emergency in Wyoming and
“Me.”“And who are you?”Gavin took a deep breath. “I believe I’m your son.”****The crowd roared behind him, ready to party at the PBR on a Saturday night.Chase braced himself. The PBR’s newest female reporter, a fiery redhead named Lissa, stuck the microphone in his face as soon as he cleared the contestant gate. He’d been expecting it since he’d avoided an on camera interview last night. To ensure his cooperation, the cameraman blocked him in. Bastard.“We’re here with Chase McKay after that amazing ninety-one point ride on Devil’s Due. Congratulations, Chase, that’s gotta feel good to be back on top.”He focused on the woman and not the camera. “It does. Especially after an extended break and such a poor showing in Dallas.”“Tell us about the ride.”“Well, Devil’s Due is an ornery little cuss and highly unpredictable, so I wasn’t sure if he’d go into spin mode tonight or hopscotch around. Luckily I was able to stay with him no matter what he did.”“So the past few weeks you’ve b
“Okay. Thanks.”“And if that doesn’t work? Go with plan B.”Her mother, businesswoman extraordinaire, always had a backup plan. “And what is that?”“Track him down, tie him up and force him to listen to reason. It helps if you’re naked. And holding beer.”“Ah, Mom. I don’t think that will work.”“It sure did with your dad. Good luck, sweetie, keep in touch.”Ava packed her bag and booked a commercial flight to LA.“Why am I so nervous?” Ava asked Hannah, two days later.“I’ll tell you what I think after the audition.” Hannah straightened Ava’s miniskirt for the third time.“That’s not helping my nerves.” She tried not to think that Chase would know exactly what to say to her to calm her down. The door to the conference room opened and a long-legged blond strolled out. “We’re ready for you, Miss Cooper.”Ava squeezed Hannah’s hand and followed Corporate Casting Barbie into the conference room. Well, at least this production company didn’t have the clichéd casting couch. Ava chose the c
“No. And here’s fair warning: that is not a topic of discussion. With you. Or anyone else.”“Never thought I’d be happy to hear you say ‘no comment’ and mean it. Warms the cockles of my cold PR heart, McKay.”“You’re a riot. What else?”“The PBR is picking up your transportation expenses. You’re in New York now?”“Yeah.”“I can’t get you to Wichita directly—”“Book me into Omaha. I left my truck there. I’ll drive to Wichita.”“Done. What day you wanna leave?”“Today. As soon as possible.”Ava stared at him with shock.“The event isn’t for another couple days.”“I’m aware of that. But there are other things I need to take care of first.”Elroy sighed. “Fine. Contact me when you get to Kansas. And I don’t gotta remind you no press unless you’re escorted by a PBR media liaison.”“I get it. I’ll keep in touch.”“Good.” Elroy hung up.Chase returned to the bedroom and picked up his bag.“You’re leaving? Just like that?”“Yep.”“No discussion. No yelling, no hashing it out?”“What is there
Evidently he hadn’t realized she’d set up a goddamn camera in their room either.He hit the pause button, his head spinning, his gut churning, his thoughts focused on one awful thing.Betrayal.Yes, he knew she’d been taping all the fucking time, but he had no idea she’d been making a goddamned movie. The whole time they were together. To think he’d invited her to share his experiences on the road. He froze. Wait a second. He hadn’t invited her. She’d invited herself. Offering a convincing argument about wanting to see real life outside her poor, privileged upbringing.But Chase sure as hell hadn’t encouraged her to creep around, sticking that camera in everyone’s face. Capturing their private moments. Having no shame in using them for her own gain. For a woman who claimed to hate the intrusion of paparazzi, she’d become damn good at acting like one of them. She’d promised him she wouldn’t show her home movies to anyone.A new thought chilled his blood. Did Ava have footage of Ryan’s
“So I’ll think of you whenever I wear it.” Like I’ll ever stop thinking of you. Ava tried really hard not to cry, but a couple of tears slipped free. The last man who’d given her jewelry had been her grandfather.“Ava?” Chase tipped her face up. “Ah, hell. Don’t cry. I told you that you can take it back.”She made a sound half-laugh, half-sob. “No way am I taking it back, McKay. It’s beautiful. Perfect. I love it. Thank you.”The guardedness in his eyes vanished. “You’re welcome.”Chase paced in the hotel room, glaring at his phone. He hadn’t minded that the fucker hadn’t worked at all yesterday, since he and Ava had spent the whole day in their room, most of it in bed after they’d returned early in the morning from the penthouse.Dammit. He needed to access his email. Nothing was showing up on his phone. And he’d been in such a hurry to get away from the sorrow in Nebraska he’d accidentally left his laptop in his truck at the Omaha airport.His gaze landed on Ava’s computer on the de