TWO

Eli

I couldn’t remember the rest of last night.

All I could remember was Alexei whispering something to my mother and then he led me out of the hall. And then I was inside the pod beside Alexei, who was driving the vehicle. I couldn’t even remember how I got inside the pod, but I remember the whole ride home was painfully silent.

Nobody dared speak. Deep inside me, I know Alexei knows something about my feelings for Hade, but he still negotiated for his marriage to Yula. I wanted to feel betrayed, but I was also torn between my love for my sister and my infatuation for the only boy I found worthy of my feelings.

Besides, I feel like I don’t have the right. Yula’s Harvest time is almost up, and I wish for nothing else but Yula not to be taken away. More importantly, the Vandenbergs are controllers of the court, and are powerful allies for any family. It’s only right they get the eldest daughter, and I know Yula will be taken care of for the rest of her life. I couldn’t ask for anything more.

Alexei parked the pod just in front of the fountain. I immediately hopped out of the vehicle, not wanting to spend another suffocating second inside the pod. I didn’t even look back, I just walked normally inside the house. I tried with everything inside me not to stumble or cry, I just walked with my eyes up ahead and my face devoid of any emotion. The long walk in the hallway of bedrooms was agonizing enough, but the deafening silence made it even hellish for me. I passed by all the rooms until I found mine at the end of the hallway. I pushed the door open and slid inside, pushing the door as carefully as I could so as not to make a sound.

As soon as I felt the familiar presence of my room, I became painfully aware of what happened tonight, and what that meant for me. Alone with my flooding thoughts and rushing emotions, I finally let myself fall on to the floor, with my back pushed behind my door, and I cried my hardest.

I never knew heartbreak on the first day of being fifteen could be this draining. When I started liking Hade, I never took into account the possibility that he might be arranged to other girls, because I never imagined a scenario where he could be arranged for me when I enter the Harvest. For three years, I unconsciously convinced myself that my feelings for him were just nothing, that I’d eventually get over it by the time I become a Harvest. But to think he was arranged to my sister and would become a part of my family as my beloved sister’s husband was so heart wrenching it felt as though my world was slowly falling apart.

I’m really not the type to ponder into my romantic feelings, but I wanted to let myself drown in this temporary misery. Or at least until I can think about what happened tonight and not feel my heart breaking all over again.

But tonight, I’ll probably just cry myself to sleep. Maybe it will all go away tomorrow. Yes, I should do that.

***

It didn’t.

It didn’t go away like I’d hope it would be. I could still feel everything aching inside me. And that’s on top of not being able to sleep even a wink. The sun rose brightly and peeked through my window, and at the Hale household, that’s a sign for everyone to be at the breakfast table, but I remained unmoving. My gaze was focused directly at the gift that Yula gave me when I entered the Harvest; a vase sculpted like a female’s upper body— with each detail sculpted into perfection by my sister herself. Yula has always had the gift of art, the best sculptor I know anywhere. She was also the one who helped me hone my gift for my art— my paintings.

My thoughts were halted when I heard my door creaked. I instinctively covered my head with my blanket, not wanting to hear a morning sermon from my mother. I heard the footsteps approaching, so I closed my eyes and braced myself for whatever my mother is gonna say.

Instead, I felt a hand gently caressing the top of my head, and then I heard my brother Nikola speak.

"Hey little El. You feeling okay, yet?"

I remained unmoving, not wanting to respond because I don’t know what to say either.

"I heard what happened last night from Alex. You don’t have to come down if you don’t feel like it, okay? I’ll bring your breakfast here in a short while. Happy birthday, El."

I felt something light on my forehead through the blanket, and the sound of a soft kiss came right after. And then I heard my door open and close afterwards.

Nikola has always been my favorite sibling beside Yula. I met him when he was brought to the household when he was seven and I was six. He is one of the illegitimate Hale children. We both like the same things and we connect in so many things. We used to make so much trouble before that Mother used to separate us, but Nikola and I would always find ways to sneak out. He was then sent to boarding school when he turned fourteen, and whenever he would come home, Nikola would always teach me all the things he learned there. He taught me archery, horse riding, herb making (although I still suck at it), and other crafts.

Like he promised, Nikola went back to my room with my breakfast in tray after a couple of minutes. And then he was gone as silently as he came. Suddenly, the silence in my room became unbearable after Nikola left, with each passing second getting worse and worse. It must have been a couple hours past dawn when I finally felt my eyelids getting heavier, until I felt myself slowly giving in to exhaustion.

When I woke up, the sun was already setting. I looked around and saw two food trays beside my bedside table— both untouched. I recognized the breakfast tray Nikola brought upstairs for me, but I’m not sure who brought the other one. Must have been around lunchtime.

Not wanting to worry my family even more, I forced myself to stand and fix myself. I called for the house servants to prepare a bath, and I soaked myself in the warm milk tub for a long time. When I got up, my toes and fingers were already wrinkly from the water.

Millie, the servant assigned to me from birth, came in the bathroom with my robe. The house seemed so still to me, which is strange in particular. My younger siblings are so invasive I never once gotten peace inside my own room, although I really don’t mind.

“Where’s everyone?” I asked my servant.

“Getting ready for dinner, Miss,” she answered politely.

“Did anyone… come into my room while I was asleep?”

“Nobody, Miss. Sir Alexei has forbidden anyone from going near your room, except for Sir Nikola. The Young Master wishes you uninterrupted rest for the whole day.”

I felt warm upon hearing what Alexei did. We don’t always get along, but I know Alexei loves us equally and looks after all of us.

I put on my night silk night gown while Millie braided my hair. I got ready to go downstairs. I wanted to let my other siblings greet me as it’s still my birthday. Maybe get a quick dinner and then resign in the library to read for the rest of the night.

Of course, my night didn’t go according to plan.

I was welcomed with a dining hall brimming with laughter and music… and many people talking at once, who all went silent as I walked inside. I saw a few familiar faces, some family friends, and several of my father’s soldier friends. I saw Councilman Jacob and Lady Dahlia at one table along with their sons Elijah and Job, and… Yula, sitting beside Hade.

I felt like something invisible striking my chest, and I could feel my strength betraying me again like it did last night. But I’m not going to allow it this time.

“Eli darling, happy birthday!” I felt my mother’s kiss on my cheeks as she hugged me tightly as she whispered, “You could have dressed more appropriately but that can be fixed later on. Come meet your guests.”

“What’s going on?” I stopped her in her tracks before she could lead me to the crowd, who started to make noise again.

“Why, we’re celebrating your birthday, of course!” She happily quipped.

“Without me?” I answered back in my blatant tone.

I felt my mother’s mood soured and her smile suddenly disappeared, but she recovered and put on a fake one instead. She pretended to hug me again, and she whispered in my ear, “I don’t know what Alexei is covering up for you last night, but I’ve allowed your drama the whole day today and I’ve been very patient, so you better do this right for me tonight, young lady,” my mother said in her firm, angry voice.

She put on her fake smile again before turning to face the crowd, “Everyone, the celebrant is here!”

The dining hall exploded with cheers and birthday greetings as I walked by, ushered by my mother who was holding me firmly. She led me in groups and I just let her, until we reached the Vandenbergs. Councilman Jacob greeted me first, followed by his wife, and their sons. Yula stood up to kiss me on my cheeks, saying, “Happy birthday, my darling sister.”

The last person on the table also stood up, walked towards me, and gave me a one-sided hug. “Happy birthday again, Elizabeth,” Hade said, his face devoid of any emotion. I uttered a silent thank-you. He then quietly walked back to his seat and reached for his glass.

I was exhausted when I went back to my room to change. Millie already had my ball dress waiting when I got there, so we changed up pretty quickly. I went back down to the dining hall right after.

I scanned the table where I was sitting. Alexei was sitting at the far end of the long table where our father used to sit, indicating he’s now the head of the family. On his right is my mother and as usual, my mother and Alexei were all business, and frankly, I’m not surprised— I know they still held my birthday party to get a chance for Margareth and I who are part of the Harvest. Yula is supposed to sit on the chair left of Alexei, as the table seats are arranged by order of birth in the Hale Household, but since Yula is with the Vandenbergs at the moment, Archie now sits there instead. He’s the eldest among the Illegitimates, only months younger than Yula— which makes him the third eldest Hale in birth order. He has been with the Hales since he was three, and he was the only one who followed in our father’s footsteps. He’s currently in military school but will be graduating this winter.

Sitting next to Archie is Margareth, the quietest in all Hale siblings. She’s 17 and couldn’t find a groom because she never says a word to any man she dances with. Next to her is Rebecca, another Illegitimate who’s been in the Hale since she was eight. She’s athletic and strong willed, and that makes her automatically my and Nikola’s role model, for she was always the one bringing us to the outdoors everytime. She’s also 17, but isn’t part of the Harvest because she’s an Illegitimate, although I think Becca prefers it too. Illegitimate children are called Collaterals, which the legitimate family will give away without negotiations as long as the marriage is still beneficial. In short, they can choose whoever they want as long as they bring home someone influential or at least wealthy.

Nikola’s sitting next to Becca, and I’m next beside him. Nikola has been telling me all the stories he brought home from boarding school, so at least this day turned out not much tragic. Susie, age 13, sits next to me. On the other side of the table sits the twins, Marie and Pierre, age 10. Beside them is Fran, age 9, who is the youngest of the Illegitimates. Her seat is followed by Ginie, age 8, and then Audrey, age 6, and the last seat next to my mother sits Jonas, age 5, the youngest of all Hale siblings.

At the end of dinner, my mother called everyone’s attention for an announcement. My sister Margareth, has been arranged to the Ashfords, a family of merchants. She then added that Yula and Hade’s wedding will take place 3 weeks from now. The whole course of the evening, I was uncomfortably silent. I know Nikola noticed it, so I didn’t argue a second when he asked me out to the balcony. He continued telling me his boarding school stories, which I half-listened to.

“Thank you. For the food today,” I interrupted as soon as Nikola was done telling me about a science experiment he made without official permission from school.

He shrugged and smiled. “I didn’t really do much. I just delivered it upstairs. It was Yula who personally prepared both of your breakfast and lunch.”

I smiled back. I already had a guess that Yula prepared my meals, as the food arrangement and choices for desserts were strikingly familiar.

“She kept asking how you were feeling. I couldn’t really tell her anything since we never really talked earlier today, so I just said you were sleeping soundly,” Nikola said. I nodded.

“She wanted to go upstairs and check on you herself, but Alexei said to give you space so you can rest,” he added. “Yula has absolutely no idea what’s going on with you, El, but she is worried sick. She at least deserves an explanation why you shut down today. I don’t think she can back down from the wedding, but at least she’ll know your feelings. She will understand, she’s the kindest Hale in this house.”

“I know that, but I just… I don’t want to make things complicated, Nikola. And I don’t want her looking at me apologetically at every family event. I don’t want to keep her in the dark, either. But I want her to be happy. I don’t wanna hold her back. My feelings will only get in the way of her marriage to Hade. That’s the last I want,” I explained.

“Alright,” Nikola resigned. “Just know that I support you in every way, El.”

I smiled at him. “This is why you’re my favorite brother,” I joked. Nikola laughed and I joined in. We were in the middle of making fun with each other when we heard Alexei’s voice from behind us.

“Eli.”

I saw Nikola looked behind me from the corner of my eyes. I remained looking far ahead of me in front. Alexei spoke again.

“You’re needed inside,” I felt Alexei walking towards me but Nikola interrupted him.

“Leave her alone, Alex. At least until tomorrow,” Nikola retorted.

“I’ve given her the whole day. Now she has to fulfill her responsibilities to this family,” Alexei snapped back.

Nikola was about to say something else when I turned around. “It’s okay Nik. I got this,” I reassured him.

I walked past Alexei and back to the dining hall. I saw my mother talking to Finch Langston, a former seat holder of The Council. He was succeeded by his eldest son, Simon Langston, whose wife died after giving birth to their second child two years ago. He’s about twelve years older than me, a little weight on the side, and thinks very highly of himself— just the type I hate. Before I knew it, my mother was leading me to Simon, who in turn led me to the dance floor.

I wasn’t paying attention to anything that Simon is saying, I just nod here and there. My eyes caught sight of Hade watching us from his table, his expression as grim as the night clouds. Yula was sitting quietly beside him, patiently listening to his mother who is as energetic as ever. My attention was snapped back to reality as I felt a hand slide to my bottom. I was instantly alarmed.

“What do you think you’re doing?” I glared at Simon as I tried to take his hand off me.

“Now I have your attention. Don’t you worry, I have all the right to touch you wherever I want. I bought you already after all,” he said, his eyes checking me as he scanned my chest.

I tried to wiggle off him, but he held me even tighter so I wouldn’t escape his grip. “Get off me!” I warned him, my tone a bit annoyed now.

“After tonight, I will be able to do whatever I want to with you, Eli. I can’t wait to throw you on my bed and—”

I stomped my foot on him and caught him off guard. “I SAID GET OFF ME, YOU FAT BASTARD!” I screamed, and then I aimed my fist on his face and landed my very first punch right in his cheeks.

He lost his grip on me and I was able to free myself from him completely. He stumbled backwards, with his hand covering the area of his face I landed my fist on. I heard the crowd gasp, but I was too enraged to even focus my attention on voices that were calling my name. My adrenaline was high, my guard was up, and I was on full attack mode.

Simon recovered his stance as he regained his balance. He looked back at me with furious eyes and started to advance towards me. “YOU FU—”

Everything happened so fast. I was bracing myself for Simon’s attack when another punch landed on his face, and this time, it threw him off balance and he fell on the floor. I shifted my eyes from a fallen Simon to the one who launched the punch on him— and saw a furious Hade with both hands balled to a fist. He was glaring so hard at Simon that I could feel his intense desire to land more punches at the guy on the floor.

The rest was blurry, and all I could remember was my mother screaming and Nikola dragging me out of the dining hall.