FOUR

Eli

There are a lot of things that I imagined my life would turn out, but this isn't one of them.

Boarding schools are basically for the outcasts. Children of the elites who are illegitimate, rejected, unwanted, or those who simply choose a different path from their family. It's like a reformative school for elite children who are… different.

Nikola has told me all about his boarding school, and so I feel somewhat familiar with the feelings of going into one. I just never thought I'd actually go there myself.

The sounds of trains and buzzing people welcomed my ears as soon as I got out of the pod. After almost two hours of goodbyes with my siblings, I was able to calm down the twins who wouldn't stop crying after knowing I'd be leaving today. Audrey, Ginie, and Fran won't stop asking me to come back soon, and while they cried too, it wasn't as hard as the twins. Jonas, the youngest, was strangely quiet, and I figured maybe he was just too young to understand what was happening.

Yula was as emotional as everyone else too. It was smart of Alexei to stop everyone from coming with us to the train station, or it would have been another two hours of consoling my family right in front of the train. It was only me, Nikola, Yula, Alexei, and our mother who were in the pod. The whole ride, Mother wouldn't stop asking me if I have all the things I need. 

Do you have extra coats? She knows how cold winter can get in Arkenvale, and I hate the cold. It's the worst thing ever. Yula actually packed me more than I need, I saw it as I came in my room. She gave me some of hers, too.

Do you want a solo room? I can probably bribe the school councilor to get you one, I know you don't like other people's stuff in your room. It's nice to hear that my mother is more freaked out of this situation than I am, but I think I'll enjoy a roommate, it's probably nice if I have someone to casually talk to aside from Nikola. Maybe it will make things less lonely for me.

Do you have enough powder? Cream, lotions, conditioner? I hear the school's supply usually runs out, so if you need anything, Nikola will—

"She has everything she needs, Mother," Alexei finally cut her off after her 50th question.

"Alex, it's okay," I reassured him. I then turned towards our teary-eyed mother and took her hands, "I'm not going to the war, Mother. I'll be okay, I'll write as much as I can. And Nikola is there, he'll look out for me."

That seemed to have calmed her down, but I get the sense that she was just trying to be tough for me. It's not every day you get to send off your most trouble-making child to a rehabilitative school. She did this once for Nikola, who volunteered for the school by the way, but Nikola is not her blood child, and while Mother is perfectly civil with my illegitimate brothers and sisters, there's still a lack of motherly protective instinct when it comes to them. As far as I know, the Hales have never sent a true-blooded child to a boarding school, so I might as well be the first one in the family history.

And Mother is losing her head over that fact.

We might have had our differences, but I don't remember a day in my life where she stopped looking out for each one of us, even the Illegitimates. Even when Father died, she didn't shut down— she continued to be a mother for us. Even when we all knew she's the most affected. To me, she's like an obsessed, clingy girlfriend who won't stop asking how you are, if you've eaten, stop slouching, be mindful of your manners, fix your hair.

This is the very first time I appreciate her obsession with her children, it made me feel like... like...

I flinched at the thought. Made me feel what? Normal? Because up until this point, my life has never felt normal. It honestly felt like it wasn't mine, to begin with.

But now, there's a whole world waiting for me out there. True, I basically got kicked out of the damn elite society, but that's not the way how I want to see it. Right now, this is as close as I can get to my perceived freedom.

And I am gonna enjoy the hell out of it.

"I made you this."

We were at the station doors with our mother giving us one last motherly reminder. Yula pulled me in the corner and handed me a hairpin. It was a sculpted flower that's glued to a pin. I smiled. One of Yula's proud handicrafts.

"It's a daisy. Thank you, Yula."

Yula gave me a big smile and took the pin back from my hand. She raised it on my black hair and carefully tucked my side curls with the hairpin.

"There, now I can see your blue eyes even more," she said as her eyes softened. "Write to me as often as you can. I know it's basically training camp, and you're not allowed outside information. But Nikola said they go old school there for messages, so I know you can send us mail. Literally mails, and literally write."

Yula rolled her eyes and we both laughed.

I gave my mother and Alexei one last goodbye before I let myself get dragged by Nikola inside the train. I watched their retreating figures through our cabin window and saw Yula gave one last turn to look at us. And then they were gone.

I settled myself in our cabin. It's half an hour to go before the train leaves. It's plenty of time to be comfortable for the long ride. I saw Nikola going through his bag.

"How long until Arkenvale?" I shot him a question.

Nikola's head shot up. "14 hours. Sometimes more."

My eyes widened. "Are you serious?"

Nikola laughed. "Yeah, it's your first out-of-the-country ride, isn't it?"

I almost dropped my jaw. I know Arkenvale is far, but I didn't think it would be that far. I've only travelled to regions through the pods, that's what you call the personal vehicles. When we do get into trains, it's only to travel to further regions. And that usually takes two hours. Tops. Plus, this is a bullet train. It's insanely fast.

"So what do you do here for 14 hours or sometimes more?" I asked him again.

"Mostly sleep. Or read. Sometimes I practice the flute. Whatever to keep my sanity intact," he joked.

As soon as he said that, he sat up straight as if he thought of an idea. "Say, I saw some board games on the display of one of the newly built stores we passed by inside the station. How would you like a chess marathon with me for the next 14 hours?"

I brightened up. "I'll beat you in all rounds."

He chuckled. He got up and took a coin purse from inside his bag. I trailed his figure as he went out of the train.

I unconsciously reached for the pin on my hair, the one that Yula gave me. I missed them already. I was almost lost in my thoughts when a series of knocks on the train window startled me. I immediately turned my head to see the intruder of my peace.

Hade.

The sight of him made my heart race and my mind confused. Something inside me ached at the memory that slowly crept inside my head. But at the same time, I felt thrilled at the thought that I could see Hade one last time before I go. I'll probably come back home many years later, and return to Hade and Yula with a happy home, buzzing with little Hades and little Yulas of their own. Maybe my other siblings will have children of their own, too. 

Hade made hand gestures signaling me to come out. I stayed still for a couple of seconds, not sure what to do. In the end, I chose one last selfish act before I was gone for good.

I went out to see Hade.

There were dark bags under his eyes, indicating he might have not slept for the last 24 hours. I could guess but I am certain that's probably the case. His eyes look uncertain, his stance look guarded, and his fingers fidgeted on the small, green velvet box in his hands. Nevertheless, he still looks so handsome. His eyes, though weary, are still my favorite shade of pale brown. His hair, unruly, is as golden as the sunset. And while I would have probably loved running my hair through it, it doesn't belong to me. Hade is not mine.

I approached him as he stood very still and watched me walk closer towards him. I stopped in front of him, which was probably a bad idea because it intensified the longing I have inside of me. I saw his throat moved as if he just swallowed hard. He closed his eyes for a moment as if this was hurting him. When he opened them again, his stare was more intense now, and I could feel as if he was looking directly inside my heart.

"I wanted to know if you're okay," he broke the silence first.

I stared back at him, trying to store the last image I have of his face in my mind. "I am," I responded. 

"I'm sorry I got you kicked out," he apologized in his meekest tone.

Hearing Hade apologize to me was painful, so I tried to brighten up and smile at him. "Are you kidding? You got me out of those dreadful balls, it's more than what I could ask for," I joked. Hade gave a small chuckle, but I could still see a hint of guilt in his eyes.

"I'm finally getting out of here. You gave me my dream. It's the best birthday gift I ever had. Thank you," I said in a tone that's trying to cheer his spirits, and it seemed like I was successful. 

Hade stretched his hand holding the velvet box, and I, in turn, took the box from him. "It's not too late for one more birthday gift, is it?" Hade said. I opened the box and saw a gold necklace with a small round pendant.

It was a globe.

Hade and I share the same dream to go out into the world, but I'm the only one who gets to go. Somehow, inside me, my heart ached for Hade who had to stay for his family after his two eldest brothers died, one in war and one with an illness. That makes Hade the eldest Vandenberg now, the next in line for his father's seat in The Council.

"Count me in one of your little trips around the world, yeah?" Hade said, melancholy evident in his eyes.

I nodded. I wanted so much to hug him, but I know it will kill me. So instead, I settled just looking at him. "Take care of my sister."

He nodded. And then I walked away from him.

When I reached our cabin inside the train and looked out the window, Hade was gone too. I felt the tears threatening to come out, but I fought them. I thought I could hold them in until I slightly feel better, but Nikola came in enthusiastically showing off a few board games he bought from the store. I didn't want to tell him that Hade dropped by, but he can't see me crying either. So I excused myself from him to go to the bathroom.

The whole run to the bathroom was excruciatingly painful. When I finally reached one of the stalls, I slammed the door shut. I dropped to the floor and cried.

I couldn't stop crying, no matter how much I try to calm myself down. I keep telling myself that I can't keep making Nikola wait for me for too long, for he will sense something is wrong. He's basically my best friend, he'll know for sure. I reached for the velvet box inside my pocket and opened it. The small, golden pendant glistened whenever the light touches it. It was beautifully made, and I could tell it took a long time to finish. All the details were perfectly in place, and from the weight of it, it's real solid gold.

I carefully traced the pendant's details with my finger. Somehow, it calmed me down. I know my eyes are still puffy, so I stayed a little longer inside the stall. After a good ten minutes, I went out of the stall and washed my face.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror. The redness and the puffiness have gone down, but it was still evident that I cried. Well, I can't do anything about that now. I looked at the pendant inside the opened box sitting on the sink. I grabbed and looked at it one last time as I exited the bathroom.

I was about to close it when a body bumped into me, and I lost my grip on the box. I lost my balance, but somehow I was more worried about losing my necklace than my body about to hit the ground. Before I did, a pair of hands caught me, and then I was staring at the eyes of a stranger.

Green. Like the meadows. Black hair, like mine. A mole under the center of the right eye.

I could hear his voice as he kept apologizing for bumping into me. But I was too distracted to even hear him properly. I frantically scanned the floor for the box. I couldn't find it. I dropped down immediately in order to see the area under the empty seats. It might have alarmed the stranger in front of me because he dropped down, too.

"I can't find it. I can't—"

"Hey, hey, hey. I'll help you look for it. What are we looking for?" I finally heard the stranger's voice.

"A b-box," I heard myself stutter. I tried to regain myself and said calmly. "It's a green velvet box."

The stranger wasted no time after hearing that. We rummaged the floor and I found it under one of the floor cabinets. I felt relieved immediately.

I reached for the small box. "Found it."

But the relief I'm feeling disappeared as quickly as I felt it when I turned over the box and found no necklace. "It's not here."

"What?" He asked.

I closed my eyes as I tried to stop the reemerging panic from building again inside me. "There's a necklace inside the box. It must have been thrown off when the box fell."

We continued to look around. I couldn't see it in my area so I turned around to search on the seats. The stranger turned around the same time I did and our heads collided.

"Ow!" We both shrieked.

We both were clasping on the part of our heads that made contact. "You have a hard head, I'll give you that," he joked.

I laughed. He joined me and started chuckling, too.

"I do. Both literally and metaphorically, " I joined in the joke, still clasping my hand against my head. 

With one hand still on his head, he raised his other one. "Is this what you're looking for?"

I instantly felt relieved as soon as I recognized the globe. I reached for it and smiled, "Thank you."

We both stayed a couple of seconds on the floor waiting for the throbbing pain on our heads to go down. "You going to Arkenvale, too?"

"Yes. Boarding school. How'd you know?" I asked.

"This train only stops in three countries. Arkenvale, Cromswerth, and Amaenia. With a dress like yours, I doubt you're going mining in Cromswerth."

"Good point," I said.

"Let me guess, Empire East Academy?"

Okay, now I'm starting to doubt this guy's intention. "You stalking me?"

He laughed. "No. EEA is the only boarding school in the entire Arkenvale. I go there, too."

"Oh," I said. I extended my arm for a handshake. It won't hurt if I make my first friend here, right?

"Elizabeth Hale. You can call me Eli."

My eyes might have deceived me for a moment because the sound of my name made him flinched. But he recovered just as quickly.

"Elizabeth as in the Hale who punched Simon Langston?"

My smile faded. I retracted my hand. "Yeah, you got a problem with that?"

He stayed silent for a while. And then he laughed. Hard.

"You got guts. Simon must have pissed you real bad. I hate that guy so much, he's an A-class asshole. God, I would have given anything to watch anyone beat that prick."

I laughed in the midst of my confusion. This guy is making jokes with me when I don't even know his name. "I still don't know you."

He extended his hand and smiled amusingly, as if my very presence entertains him the most.

"Noah Langston. Thanks for punching my brother."