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The Choice
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2024-01-08 21:26:33[Carnelia]
I didn’t think my heart would break any more until he left me, again, uncertain of his love.
Rejected.
I cried myself to sleep that night, cried until I ran out of tears. Curled up in my bed, I ignored the curtains as they were drawn by the maids, and ignored the breakfast left at my bedside. I was angry at Primus, but also angry at myself. I promised that I would never lead him to a place where he was unsure of his welcome, but I did. I opened myself up and then shut it all down, unable to make that final, crucial move forward.
Do I want to be his mate? If I do, why can’t I commit to him? Why can’t I give my heart over to him freely, to join with him and accept his love fully?<
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