The Choice

[Carnelia]

I didn’t think my heart would break any more until he left me, again, uncertain of his love. 

Rejected. 

I cried myself to sleep that night, cried until I ran out of tears. Curled up in my bed, I ignored the curtains as they were drawn by the maids, and ignored the breakfast left at my bedside. I was angry at Primus, but also angry at myself. I promised that I would never lead him to a place where he was unsure of his welcome, but I did. I opened myself up and then shut it all down, unable to make that final, crucial move forward. 

Do I want to be his mate? If I do, why can’t I commit to him? Why can’t I give my heart over to him freely, to join with him and accept his love fully?<