CHAPTER 4

VARYA’S POV

With my confidence boosted and my dress draped elegantly on my body, I walked into the hotel to capture control of my life, I said to myself. This day will forever be marked as the day I put an end to a humiliating relationship and moved my feet out of this maze toward freedom.

My eyes went on a journey over those grand surroundings, stopping for all the countless details in range, then coming back to present its fair sight. In my realization, Theo had made a wise decision in selecting this location for our meeting, and I could feel that the venue had its prestige.

On the other hand, I was surprised by the person I saw sitting at the table on the right side of the room because an entire portrait of my memories back to that time came together at once. I looked at the same hotel and felt it was the place where we had our engagement, yea this place, I would give him back his ring.

The pain of our relationship now about to break up is one that I can never forget as if the pain was a constant shadow following me everywhere I went.

With resolve, I approached Theo. My steps were firm and still despite all the emotions that were inside me being a furious tornado. The thought of his smile, which once used to make my heart flutter, now only met my grimace. Worse, it looked completely unappealing and, therefore, I did not feel genuine emotions.

I looked deeply into his face and then I discovered the lines of nervousness on his face. Did he always look this ugly? Or is it just the increased awareness and clarity of my sight? I am not sure.

I counted to three. On the sound of 'three', I called my courage and I exhaled deeply. That day, I decided to write myself a new story: a story where I'll step up and ask for as much as I give; a story that is not afraid of respect, and happiness.

I feel the warm embrace of Theo's familiar gesture when he kisses my cheek and helps me sit down, his soft kiss is just one of the bittersweet memories of the kindness and love we once shared. He was a persistent lover in habit three that had become so natural and flawless for the duration of our affair.

For a while we sat quietly without speaking, the burden of our secret, with its incomparable weight, hung in the air and turned all the elegance around us into a funeral void. This was the moment when Theo did the talking. He uttered unusually nervously, but what he said had astonishing power.

"You look so nice today, honey," he whispered slurringly; they sounded like stabbing swords for my heart. "I booked a room for us."

The idea of being secluded with him in a closed room filled me with fear and disgust. "Oh, actually I'm very sorry, Theo," I interjected immediately bringing a bit of hurry in my voice. "However, my present purpose is a little bit different from that, so after eating let's talk."

At the moment of his hand touching mine, uproar occurred which resulted in his wine glass capsizing and an explosion of the wine splashing my dress with crimson drops. "Oh, don't worry, it's not so much to worry about" I admitted, trying my best to calm down. "Go and pick that up, I'll be going ahead to clean up," I said before walking to the restroom.

Piling up all the trash into the toilet and heading back to my seat I had a second of clarifying my thoughts.

Flexing my arms forward I sat once more, getting myself ready for the next words. "I am here to let you know, that I don't want this relationship any longer," I began, my voice unwavering, defying the turmoil that pervaded my whole being. "I'm sorry, but I need to return your ring," I said.

The stunned look he had, spurred me on in a millisecond and the fleeting sensation of surprise only lasted a microsecond before he returned to his normal composure. But deep in his belly, I could make out the presence of the other man, this one who felt liberated and excited in the state of being ready to part ways and break off our engagement.

The tone of Theo's response slashed through like a knife edge with disbelief and a note of verbal acidity endorsed by him. "..you are breaking up with me for no reason?" he stammered, his voice falling somewhere between incredible and pain. "I hope you ain’t gonna report me for the surgery?"

This was it. I couldn't contain my disbelief anymore. In the face of the breakup we were in, the guy I had once been with was fretting about me reporting the surgery. He was acting as if it were the only important factor. He didn't even try to figure out why I broke up with him or what made me do such a thing.

"Not going to do that at all, Theo," I said resolutely. "Ain't going to do that at all," my tone uncompromising. "I did it cos I love you, and I don’t regret doing it. But I do not want to see your face anymore."

Deep in his heart, I know he was happy even though he portrayed a sad look. His heart was full of resignation and gratitude. "I guess your mind is made up, Varya," he conceded, his tone tinged with sadness. "Did I get it right? Well, thank you for everything and I believe I won't get a woman like you even in my future existence."

Anger swelled in my stomach, along with a bitter taste from his every word, his casual, phony air driving me nuts. My boots shook me with every step forward, my mind dissociating by the minute, and the other parties slowly fading away in the distance. But before I could disappear from his sight, I turned back to face him.

"That's right, Theo," I declared, my voice steady despite the turmoil raging inside me. "You will never find anyone like me, and I hope I never meet anyone like you even in my next life. I hope you enjoy your marriage with Tia."

As the last sentence faded away with the cloud of smoke, I walked out of the hotel and left behind my heart which was moistened with the tears of my broken dreams. The tears I had long been holding back finally started to free flow. Accompanied by sobs and coughs, they stumbled out of my eyes as a mute projectile of the pain and sadness that had been aching me for quite a while already.