##Chapter 8: CassidyBook One: StayA heartbeat ticks by before he reaches out, his larger hand covering mine.My attention drops to our clasped fingers. Normally, I don't like being touched. When he'd grabbed my arm at the party, everything in me had seized up. But his hand lying gently over mine doesn't trigger a response. Actually, that's a lie. It does do something to me...something I'm unwilling to acknowledge. "You don't know me." And I don't want him to know me either. Not the real me. Not the one who made such a mess out of her life last year.I hold my breath and wait for the familiar knives of panic to slice me up inside.It's a surprise when they don't.He squeezes my hand, and my gaze bounces up to his. "Is it so difficult to believe that what I already know makes me want to find out more?"I gulp, breaking eye contact before carefully slipping my hand from his. "I don't date."That's non-negotiable. There are rules I've set in place for myself this year. And from what I'v
##Chapter 9: CassidyBook One: Stay"Okay, Cassidy, you can go back now. Dr. Thompson is ready to see you." The receptionist smiles as she shuffles around a few papers on her perfectly tidy desk.I give her a brief smile in return before walking through the door and into the office of the psychologist I've been meeting with. After I'd received my acceptance at Western this summer, I'd realized I would need to continue with my sessions. Dr. Thompson has turned out to be a perfect fit. Her office is decorated in soothing tans and whites, with splashes of blues and oranges that catch the eye. There's actually a couch, but there are also comfy chairs. Since I'm a creature of habit, I always gravitate to the same chair. I'm sure that says something about my personality. Dr. Thompson usually sits directly across from me with a notebook close at hand in case she wants to jot down a few notes. In the beginning, I found it disconcerting and wanted to take a quick peek to see what she'd written
##Chapter 10: CassidyBook One: Stay"This is going to be so much fun! Thanks again for coming with me tonight." Snuggling into her jacket, Brooklyn bounces excitedly on the bleacher seat as her gaze tracks the hockey players skating by the Plexiglas that surrounds the ice. "That's him, number fifty-five."A dreamy look fills her large green eyes. As she sighs, her warm breath escapes into the frigid air of the rink. I roll my eyes even though she isn't paying me the slightest bit of attention.Nope.Her focus is trained on her brand-new crush.Number fifty-five.I shift in my seat and watch the players skate past. Not that I would admit this to Brooklyn, but this is surprisingly more painful than I'd imagined it would be. I haven't skated in more than nine months. At this very moment, my fingers are almost itching to wrap themselves around my old fiberglass hockey stick. As I stare at the ice, my mind tumbles back, trying to recall a time when I've been off skates for more than four o
##Chapter 11: CassidyBook One: Stay"Sorry, I'm still trying to get the hang of it. Remind me to ask you for some helpful tips. You seem to be a real pro at it."My belly dips as he grins at me. I almost wince, realizing that this banter is totally counterproductive to what I need to happen.He shifts his stance. "For one, you're supposed to stay out of sight. You know, hide in the bushes, peek around corners, wear disguises, follow discreetly from a distance. That kind of thing. Maybe we can get together later and I can give you a stalker one-oh-one crash course. Stalking for dummies or something like that. Totally free of charge, of course."Dimples.Again with those damn dimples.If he's trying to wear me down, those dimples are doing an excellent job. He must realize it because he flashes them at me every chance he gets.I blink, attempting to shake myself free of the thick fog that always seems to descend when he's near. "No, I don't think that'll be necessary. You've given me qu
##Chapter 12: ColeBook One: Stay"What's your problem, dude? We won!" Austin shouts from across the table in the noisy bar. "Fucking act like it."Before I can respond, his attention becomes ensnared by the curvy blonde perched on his lap. I'm surprised he even noticed me sitting across from him in the first place.With a grunt, I nurse my beer instead of replying, because what am I supposed to say to that?That I'm stuck on a gorgeous chick with the most beautiful ebony-colored hair I've ever seen. Or the biggest, clearest blue eyes I've had the sad misfortune of gazing into.Fuck.I'd get the shit kicked out of me if I said something like that.And you know what?I'd totally deserve it.Hell, I probably deserve it for even thinking along those lines.I'm so screwed.Even worse than that?I'm not sure if there's anything I can do to salvage whatever Cassidy and I have going between us. Maybe I've only known her for a week, but she's all I think about. That's not a good sign.She'd j
##Chapter 13: CassidyBook One: Stay"Where'd you disappear to last night? I thought we were going to hang out at the bar after the game."Even though Brooklyn looks as though she didn't get a wink of sleep last night, her voice is chipper and brimming with curiosity.I glance up from the bowl of oatmeal I'm trailing my spoon through as we sit in the cafeteria with its walls of floor to ceiling windows. Brilliant sunshine pours down on us. Even this early in the morning, students are bustling past with trays full of food before their days get underway."I decided to head home after the game instead.""Well, you missed an awesome time last night. We had a blast." She grins before digging into her scrambled eggs, toast, and fruit. She waggles her perfectly plucked brows before dropping her voice. "And what happened after the bar was even more fun, if you know what I mean."I roll my eyes because yeah, I know exactly what she means. Instead of taking the bait, I clear my throat. "Austin s
##Chapter 14: CassidyBook One: StayIt's not quite seven in the morning as I run through the sleeping streets of the small-town Western University calls home. The sun is just beginning to peek over the horizon, washing everything in a soft pink glow. The air is crisp, the leaves overhead vibrant in their orange, red, and yellow colors.After the hockey game last week, I made the decision to slowly start incorporating exercise back into my routine again. In high school, I'd spent a ton of time working out and skating. After failing out last year, that had been another thing that had fallen by the wayside. I've decided to run three times a week. Okay, so maybe it's more of a jogging/speed walking type of thing but still...I'm out there, doing it.I'm pretty sure that counts for something. Not working out six days a week for the last nine months has taken a toll on my waistline. I used to be muscular and toned all over. Now, not so much. I'm a lot softer than I once was.One side benefi
##Chapter 15: CassidyBook One: StayWith our arms linked, Brooklyn and I get absorbed into a herd of students heading to the same party. My brows rise as I stare up at the large Victorian that looms in front of us. It looks as if it's bursting at the seams with people. Even though it's only nine o'clock on a Friday night, drunken revelers are spilling out onto the darkened lawn, plastic beer cups in hand, laughing and hollering as music pulses from inside.I give Brooklyn at bit of side-eye. "Jeez. It looks like the entire campus is here.""Didn't you see the flyers plastered all over school? I think it's a," she uses her fingers to make air quotes "fundraiser."I can only imagine what will be bought with the money they make tonight.Probably more red plastic cups and beer.It takes effort to push through the throng of people and make our way inside the house. My gaze darts around, overwhelmed by the sheer number of partiers crammed inside the living room. Every square inch of space i
##Chapter 92: ColeBook Two: Don't LeaveFour years later..."Hurry it up, babe," I call from the living room of our high-rise apartment in downtown Chicago. "Or we'll be late."I just got home from a team practice with the Blackhawks, and now we're heading out to meet up with friends for dinner. Austin and Brooklyn are in town for the weekend. And so is Luke and his new girlfriend. It might have taken time for the two of us to iron out our friendship, but it happened.Eventually."I'm coming."A low whistle escapes from me as she walks out of the bedroom wearing a little black dress that clings to her every curve. Even after spending a couple of hours on the ice, my dick stiffens right up.Damn, but my fiancée is hot."Is it possible to cancel our plans for the evening?" There's a beat of silence. "Because I'd much rather stay here and strip you out of that gorgeous dress. It would look perfect draped over the chair in the corner of our room."Color stains her cheeks as she do
##Chapter 91: CassidyBook Two: Don't LeaveTwo hours later, we finally leave his room to scrounge up some food.After making love three times, I'm famished. I'm so hungry that my belly is rumbling and growling in protest.Once in the kitchen, Cole fills two bowls with cereal before saturating the flakes in milk."Eat up," he says with a wink before shoveling a spoonful into his mouth. After he swallows it down, he adds, "You're going to need all your energy."A giggle slips free as I spoon Frosted Flakes into my mouth. As we finish our bowls, his phone chimes with an incoming message. He picks up the slim device and glances at the screen.His gaze flicks to mine. "It's my mom. She's going to drop off some laundry I left at the house over the weekend."My heart stutters as my eyes widen.Dr. Thompson, who also happens to be Cole's mother.My teeth sink into my lower lip as an internal debate gets waged in my brain.Do I tell him that his mother was my psychologist?Or do I bury i
##Chapter 90: CassidyBook Two: Don't LeaveOnce we're inside his room, he twists the lock and pounces, catching me around the middle and pressing me to him. When his hands settle on my ass, he hoists me up so that my legs can wrap around his waist. A growl rumbles up from his chest as I grind myself against him.His lips crash onto mine, and there is nothing gentle about how this kiss unfolds. "Too much clothing," I gasp."Agreed."His hands leave my bottom as I drop to the floor. My palms stroke over the solid planes of his chest before my fingers grip the hem of his T-shirt and I whip it over his head, tossing it over my shoulder. In the blink of an eye, my shirt also disappears. He removes my bra as I work the button and fly of his jeans. Even though his erection is still covered by his boxers, it springs forward. My thighs clench as I stroke my fingers over the hot length.I've missed this so much.Impatiently, he pushes the thick denim material down his hips and thighs b
##Chapter 89: CassidyBook Two: Don't Leave"Pass it to me!"I wind up and hit the puck to Cole who flies across the ice. The rubber disk lands right on the end of his stick as he races with it to the goal and flicks it into the net. We've been here for about thirty minutes, and it feels just like it used to. I love spending time with Cole on the ice, and over the last month, I've missed it.Missed him.As difficult as it was talking with Luke yesterday, I'm so glad I cleared the air. Even if nothing changes with Cole, I know that remaining friends with Luke is what's best for both of us.After I thought about it, I decided that maybe Cole was right, and I was allowing what happened last year skew my feelings for Luke. I didn't want to believe that was a possibility, but when I tried to separate my emotions for him, I wasn't able to do it.They were too deeply intertwined."Water break?"I nod as we skate to our water bottles on the bench. After removing our gloves, we toss them
##Chapter 88: CassidyBook Two: Don't LeaveA smile lights up Luke's face as he pulls me into the warm circle of his arms. "I have about thirty minutes before I need to be at practice. What's up?"For a heartbeat I allow him to hold me before untangling myself from his embrace. "Do you mind if we grab a coffee and talk?""Sure."After we order our drinks, Luke hands the barista a few bills before I can grab the money from my purse."I've got it," I say, quickly digging through my wallet. "I'm the one who invited you for coffee. I should pay.""You can get the next one." When he winks at me, the barista sighs. "Don't worry, I'll hold you to it."A few minutes later, he grabs our coffees from the counter, and we head to a table nestled in the corner. Once settled, we both take a few sips from our mugs. The weather has only grown colder, and it feels good to warm up."How are classes going?" he asks. "All caught up?"Luke understands how stressful my breakup was with Cole becaus
##Chapter 87: CassidyBook Two: Don't LeaveI've spent most of today camped out at the library, with the exception of two classes. Now that Christmas break is right around the corner, it seems like almost every course has a paper due. My books are spread out all over the table as I tap away on my laptop.Every time I begin to feel overwhelmed, I close my eyes and inhale a deep breath. Once it no longer feels like my heart is being squeezed in a vise grip, I look over the list I've compiled to prioritize all my assignments.It's taken a lot of hard work to get my grades up to where they were before Thanksgiving break. I refuse to blow it now that we're in the homestretch. After my breakup with Cole, I'd let some of my classwork slide. Thankfully, Brooklyn was there to slap some sense into me, and I've been able to bounce back.Getting through that experience was tough, but it made me realize that life will always have its ups and downs. What's important is that you push through t
##Chapter 86: ColeBook Two: Don't Leave"So, what's the deal between you two?" Austin asks. "You two aren't together, are you?"The suspicion in his voice is clear.My gaze flickers to his. "No, we're just friends." Sort of. I guess. Maybe. It's all a bit tentative right now. And weird. But it's much better than hating her guts.His brows furrow as we walk to class.I'm aware of how Austin feels about Jackie.And none of it is good.He might not know her personally, but he was there when shit hit the fan last fall. He's the one who encouraged me to get back out there again. Up until that point, I'd never been with anyone else but her. For a couple of months, I made up for lost time in that department before deciding that random hookups weren't for me.He gives me a bit of side-eye. "You sure about that?""Yup." I have zero desire to travel down that road again.When I say nothing more on the topic, his muscles gradually loosen. "Glad to hear it."To fight off the wicked
##Chapter 85: CassidyBook Two: Don't Leave"I know exactly how long it's been." Even though I'd thought I was completely over her and what happened, I realize that it's still festering inside me like poison."I screwed up." Her eyes turn pleading. "And I hurt my best friend in the process."What sucks most is that Jackie had been my closest friend.I'd been ten years old when my dad died, and she's the one who sat up in the tree house with me for hours while I sobbed like a little girl. I still remember what it felt like to have her scrawny arms wrapped tightly around me, holding onto me for dear life as if I might float away if she didn't anchor me to the earth.I can picture her sitting on one of our lawn chairs while I slapped thousands of hockey pucks at the net in our driveway, attempting to channel all of my anger and rage toward something other than the drunk asshole who stole my father from me.In middle school, I made sure no one messed with her. Even though I wasn't a f
##Chapter 84: ColeBook Two: Don't Leave"Someone's at the door, can you please answer it?" Mom yells from the kitchen where she's baking Christmas cookies.Already.That's not a complaint.It means I'll have more food to take back to school when I leave tomorrow afternoon. I pause, unable to rip my attention away from the big screen TV as the final seconds of the first quarter play out. The bell rings for a second time as the ball is being passed and-"Cole?" she shouts again.Except this time there's exasperation lacing her voice.And that's never good."I'm on it!"But not really.Fumble.Damn.With a shake of my head, I jog to the door and throw it wide open. Almost immediately, I wish I'd ignored it."Hi, Cole." The edges of her lips lift tentatively.When I remain silent, she shifts from one foot to the other before stuffing her hands into the pockets of her jacket."Hey," I force myself to say. If she thinks enough time has passed for me to forget about what happened betwee