1.Siya...just a plain and ordinary girl

Siya's POV

"Siya...Siya...Where the hell are you? Oh..the queen decided to starve us today. Get your ass up here fast and make breakfast for us you unworthy girl", my mom's harsh scolding woke me up with a jerk. This was nothing new to me. Every single day has begun like this for me for as long as I can remember.

Have you ever felt unloved? Have you ever felt unwanted and left out by your own family? Have you felt lonely when you are standing between a sea of people? If you have not, then welcome to my world. It is my life, and this is my story. Let me introduce myself...I am Siya Parker, or in short, I'm just Siya...just a plain and ordinary girl. There is nothing extraordinary about me. Neither am I smart nor am I beautiful. Mostly I'm invisible to a lot of people because of my introverted nature. I just turned 18 years old and live with my parents and twin siblings in Los Angeles. Please don't ask me why I didn't move out of my parent's home yet; you will know eventually. If you presumably think that my parents and siblings love me so much to part with me. Then you will be surprised when you comprehend the reason why they are not letting me move out.

My dad Frank Parker runs a small business in Los Angeles. And my mom Crystal Parker works in a small company. We belong to an upper-middle-class family. My elder brother Zayn,22, helps my dad in his business and is all set to start his own business as a fashion designer. His twin Zayna is married to a wealthy businessman Mr. Jason Black. Zayn and Zayna have bullied me since childhood. They both made me feel like an outsider in our family. And to date, I don't know why they hate me so much. I was not smart or popular in school for my siblings to envy me. I was pretty much an average student who worked her ass off to obtain a scholarship to continue my studies. I was scared that my parents would not let me attend school, saying that it was an unnecessary burden on their shoulders. My siblings attended top private schools in the country while I attended a public school. I'm not complaining, though. I understand that since my parents send my siblings to a private school, they couldn't afford to send me to a private school. Public or private, for me, any school was better than be confined to home.

Every day my parents and siblings do not fail in making me realize how unwanted I'm in the family. But I love them so much and have yearned for their love from childhood. My birthdays were either ignored or forgotten, while my siblings' birthdays were special and pompous. Whenever I see my parents showering my siblings with love and gifts, I have always wondered what my fault was. They make me do all the chores in the house, and if they are upset with something, they take out their frustration on me by verbally abusing me. But they have never raised their hands on me until now, which I very much consider as a blessing. My mom regularly advises me regarding the value of money and how to live a modest and conservative life by saving money. But my mom limited all these pieces of advice just for me. Zayna was allowed to spend as she pleases since she was the darling of the family. Even her dresses were costly while I had to wear her discarded clothes, which my mom altered to fit me....no, not the expensive ones. She never allowed me anywhere near them. During childhood, I used to beg her to give me at least a simple gown since I was thrilled with the idea of wearing a pretty dress. Whenever I think of that, I feel like I was just behaving like a child at that time. My fascination with wearing attractive dresses also worn out when I grew up as I find comfort in my rugged jeans and crop top that I buy from Walmart.

I sometimes imagine things like maybe I'm adopted though I brush it off thinking that it is absurd. I try to be happy by giving myself motivational speeches and seeking happiness in small things. I don't wish for a luxurious or extravagant life. I just want a small and caring family for myself in the future. And I want to be loved to the end of the world by my future partner, whoever he may be. Also, I wish to have a small job to have a happy and content family life for my future husband and me. Does that make me selfish to have such a little wish? Only my future holds that answer.

Before Zayna got married, bullying me was her favorite hobby. She and mom left no stone unturned to make my life miserable. They would continuously comment on how ugly I look and how I lack in every aspect. Their constant bullying and verbal abuse have made me lose my confidence to some extent. And Zayna was really beautiful and had a perfect figure like a model, which naturally made me feel like a misfit in the family. Even my brother Zayn was very handsome, but he stayed away from the girls who tried to woo him due to some reason. I always wondered why the Gods decided to make me ugly. Maybe that's the reason my family is disgusted with me.

After her marriage to Mr.Black, the extent of her bullying me reduced a lot. My mom was busy with her job, so she didn't concentrate on me, much to my relief. If you wonder how my sister got married to a rich man like Mr.Black, it is simple. She tricked him by faking her pregnancy. My brother in law's family was orthodox, so they accepted her as their daughter in law and got her married to her son. After one month of her marriage, she lied to them that she had a miscarriage. The thing is that my sister had always wanted to live a luxurious life, so she trapped Mr. Black in her love. I found out about this when one day, I accidentally overheard my mom and sister's conversation. I felt pity for my brother in law as he took care of Zayna like a baby from the day he knew about the miscarriage. Zayna was cunning and good at manipulating people with her charms, and her husband fell prey to her seduction. I couldn't let my brother in law know of my sister's crafty nature as my mom banned me from talking to him unless in the presence of my parents or my siblings.

I still remember my sister's wedding day like yesterday. Since Jason's family was wealthy, many business people, actors, and politicians attended their wedding. I was just 16 and was excited and happy for Zayna. But it was short-lived when my mom scolded me, saying that I was like a hex on Zayna and asked me to stay in a corner and forbid me to talk to anyone. I still can visualize myself crying in one corner of the wedding venue like a nobody. But Jason and his family members were good people, much to Zayna's chagrin. They were kind to me whenever we have met, but it was on rare occasions when I was allowed to accompany my family. Sometimes I felt like my family was tolerating me only because they don't want to lose a good maid.

My brother Zayn's behavior towards me is entirely another story. He was sweet with me earlier but now had turned into a total indifferent person. During my early teenage days, he would always threaten me to stay away from boys. And also, he made sure that no boys were around me. Because of my extra loving brother(note the sarcasm), even my classmates never talked to me. If he caught me talking to any male species by chance, Zayn would bestow different types of endearment on me like whore, slut, etc...So I kept away from them. He also threatened me that he would make my parents stop my studies if I dare befriend any boys. For me, going to school itself was a relief from feeling lonely. Because at home, I always felt alone, even when my parents and siblings were around. So scared by Zayn's threat of making me drop out of school, I mostly remained without friends throughout my schooldays.

Coming back to my life, I'm currently going to college and juggling between odd jobs as my family doesn't provide me with anything. They say I'm not worth their time and money. All they expect from me is to be a perfect maid for them, cooking their meals on time and being always at their beck and call. But it's ok with me. I'm 18 now, so I need to be responsible and have to stand up for myself. The Gods blessed me enough to get a scholarship for my college tuition fee. It was a relief because otherwise, I would have had a tough time going to college and doing two to three part-time jobs at a time.

Also, did I mention that singing is my passion? It doesn't mean that I'm a professional singer or I can sing like pop stars. I am nothing more than a bathroom singer but with an ok voice. Maybe I'm self appreciating myself for my little talent. I never had any professional training or experience in singing. Apart from being a cashier at a book store, I also work as a part-time jingle singer for ads. I was fortunate to get this job as it paid me well enough for my tuition fee and day to day expenses. And I never thought that this passion of mine will bring me close to the only happiness in my life now,....my Drew, Andrew Williams.